Soulmate!
by CheerCaptainDavis
Summary: Brooke and Nathan get stuck in the gym where she sees his softer side. They both are single because of Leyton and went through the same pain, will this get them closer?
1. Chapter 1

_Hey guys, this one will be a short and hopefully happy Brathan story! Please review!_

I breathed heavily as I saw Nathan hammering against the door of the gym.

"How do you mean: WE ARE STUCK HERE?" I asked and breathing out of my mouth.

"You don't see someone saving us here, do you?" he said and sat down on the floor.

"That's just: PERFECT" I screamed and tried to bang against the door myself.

"Do you think I like to be stuck with you here?" he said under his breath.

"Oh now it is my fault?" I asked between knocks.

"Peyton left me, right? And I believe you told her to seize the day, to get over me" he said bitterly.

I turned around not able to believe that he just accused me of do so.

"Sorry that I encouraged my friend to finally break up with her, badass, too cool for a real relationship boyfriend who couldn't control himself around my squad!" I said pissed and knocked again against the door.

"No one will hear you, Davis" he said and I finally decided to give up and sat down beside him.

We didn't speak to each other for a while.

"Does she know?" he asked.

I knew exactly what he was referring to and shook my head.

"Gladly she doesn't! Too much alcohol and a bad day obviously lead to some stupid, bad, meaningless sex with you and I am really not proud of this" I said and he turned around with his all too well known crooked smile.

"You seemed to enjoy it, Brooke" he said "screaming my name over and over again"

"Oh don't flatter yourself" I said not facing him "You know I am a cheerleader, right?"

"What?" he asked confused.

"Playing all cheery and satisfied is like my job" I said and gave him an evil smile.

Nathan started to laugh at my stupid comment and I as well started to giggle a bit.

"Let's make this less a hell" he smiled and moved closer.

"In your dreams Scott" I replied.

He put his arm behind me just to get his bag.

"Don't flatter yourself Davis" he teased and I felt somehow ridiculous for even thinking, he would hit on me right there after all I said to him just yet.

Nathan got out some water and a sandwich.

"You must be hungry" he said and offered me a half.

"Thanks" I said and took a bite.

It was so unusual for him to care about anyone else than himself. I just was confused that it even occurred to him to offer me the half of his sandwich at all.

"Not always a jackass" he laughed as if he could read my mind.

"I didn't…"

"But you were thinking it, right?" he asked and I nodded shamefully.

"Did you ever wonder why I am nice to you?" he said and then shut immediately up.

"Well, I never noticed you were" I said and took a sip of my coke light.

"Never mind" he muttered.

"Well, but I do mind now" I said and looked suspicious at him.

"Crap" he said and got up.

"Can we forget I ever said anything?" he asked and I shook my head.

"Alright" he breathed in and out and faced me again, his blue eyes concentrating on me now.

"I am an asshole towards Peyton, because basically she lets me" he said and sat back down.

"But only because she lets you doesn't mean you have to be" I whispered and he whispered.

"I know"

"So why are you nice to me?" I asked.

"Because you go through the same thing I am" he said and looked up at me.

"What do you mean?" I asked before I even caught the meaning of his words.

"She is in love with him and you know it" he whispered and he didn't need to tell me who he was talking about, because I already knew.

"She loves him, like he loves her" I just added and he sighed.

"Yes" he agreed and we sat there for a while chewing our sandwich and not able to speak.

"I think I needed to prove that I don't need her, to show myself that I can have anyone in here" Nathan broke the silence.

"But?" I was waiting for the catch.

"But I don't think that it helped" he said and put his face down.

He was a picture of a broken man.

"He is my brother and he probably holds her just now" he said angrily.

"I know" I nodded and Nathan got up and ran against the door, trying to really run it open.

I heard big noises and his screams from pain as I got up and tried to get hold of him.

He stopped after I caught his arm and his eyes were filled with anger and hate.

"I am sorry for that Nate" I said and put my arms around him.

"It's not your fault" he whispered and I ran my hands through his hair.

"I know, but I hate to see you hurt" I smiled softly at him.

"How do you do this?" he asked astonished.

"Do what?" I tried to smile.

"Go on with your life like nothing had happened" he whispered and I laughed.

"I don't talk to him or her for a while and I can't stand to see them, I even had a one night stand with one of my friends, so I would stop to feel the pain, so yeah that's how I deal" I laughed bitterly and he grabbed my chin to pull it up, so our eyes were on the same level.

"Sorry I took advantage of you there" he said and I could tell that he meant every word of it.

"I know" I smiled softly.

We were inches away from each other and we stayed like that for a while, until I got sleepy and he put my head on his lap and put his jacket around me, as a blanket. I closed my eyes and felt his hand caressing my hair and after a while I just felt asleep.

Next morning we were found in the gym.

"I've heard of people breaking up in school, but never did I heard that two rich kids broke in to sleep in the gym" Whitey's voice filled the room and I opened my eyes.

Nathan looked up at me and smiled.

"At least we are free again" he whispered as I rolled my eyes.

We got out and he just stood there watching me and we both didn't know what to say, we just shared this really intimate conversation and now we weren't even able to say goodbye or we both just searched for something meaningful.

"Are you going to be at the Halloween-Party?" he asked and we both laughed at his attempt to sound casual. He obviously failed.

"Sure I am, the devil will always be around, you know?" I smirked and he nodded.

"So I see you there I hope" he smiled softly and I nodded.

"See you later Scott" I whispered.

"Oh you so will" he teased back as he left.

"You were locked in the gym with Nathan?" Haley asked me confused.

"Yeah" I just nodded and her eyes grew bigger.

"You know that Luke will freak, right?" she got out in shock.

Sometimes I forgot that Haley was his friend and not mine, because we got so close, while I dated him.

"That's not what this thing was about" I tried to convince her, but she was lost in her plan to get me back with him. It was really sweet that she still believed that Lucas and I were meant to be. Even after he started dating Peyton, Haley was sure that it was just a phase he went through.

"You go to the Halloween party?" I asked her not only to stop her from planning but also to make sure I had company at this ridiculous thing.

"Yes, I planned to go there" she whispered.

"Alright, do you want to come over and get ready together?" I asked.

"I thought you decided on not to go?" she asked confused.

"Change of plans" I smiled and watched Nathan walking towards his locker.

He smiled at me as put his books in the locker and started a conversation with Tim. I actually was not so interested to go to this party, because I knew I would see my ex and his new girlfriend, but somehow now that I talked to Nathan, after I saw his softer side and heard that he was planning on going I was looking forward this little event.


	2. Chapter 2

_Guys, thank you for your reviews and I hope you will like the second part! Leave some reviews, I loved the detailed ones! So thanks and I hope you enjoy the update._

I was sitting in my room of our new apartment and looking at my costume. I really liked my idea of being the devil, and only because the industry refused to make some creative outfits for the devil, didn't mean that I wouldn't get my original outfit. Haley, my roommate, knocked at my door and I opened it.

"You aren't ready yet?" she asked in shock.

"Well, look at you Mrs. Greaselightning" I smiled at her costume. She was the bad Sandy from Grease.

"You said we go as sexy whatever" she said feeling uncomfortable at my reaction.

"No, you look smockin'" I grinned "Just give me 30 minutes, so I can keep up with you" I muttered and got my costume.

"Your devil has feathers?" she asked in disbelieve.

"She is a feathery devil, deal with it" I said and closed the door to get changed.

"Okay, sorry" she said annoyed "So why did you decide to go?" she asked.

"Ehm… no reason really, I just thought that Luke and Peyton shouldn't keep me away from this. I should confront myself with them, so it soon will be easier"

I walked out in my costume.

"Did you make it yourself?" Haley asked astonished.

"Yes" I proudly grinned and started to put on some make-up and my fake hair.

"How do I look?" I asked as I turned around and let her see my costume from different angles.

"Really? Wow" she smiled.

"That's what I was going for" I grinned and we both left for the party.

As I walked in my intuition told me to search for Nathan, I was scanning every person in the room after him. Some failed from the height and others because of their hair or eye color. He wasn't here yet, I decided and walked over to the bar to get a drink.

"You want me to get you a coke" a guy in a batman costume asked.

"No thanks, actually I am sick and tired of guys trying to get me over a pathetic drink. So boy with no clue…" I started but he interrupted me.

"Brooke, it's me Nate" he smiled.

"Oh, sorry" I said and blushed.

"It's okay" he smirked. I could only see his mouth and chin the rest was covered in his costume. I never realized how beautiful and full his lips were before. His eyes got all the concentration, once they stared at you there was no way to avoid them, but now I was concentrated on his beautiful lips.

"So can I buy you a drink now?" he asked and I looked up. Alright you couldn't deny those blue eyes.

"Yes" I smiled and he ordered two alcohol free cocktails.

"Not wanting you to say that I try to fill you up, so I could take advantage of you" he teased.

"And because you are as underage as me" I grinned.

"Yeah" he laughed.

"Well you look amazing" he smiled at my costume "the most creative costume, though the devil theme is kinda overused" he said and I looked up at him.

"You really suck with compliments" I told him and he nodded.

"I guess" he admitted.

"Hey" Peyton said behind us "Who is your new friend Brooke?" she asked as if we were talking normally again.

"It's…" I wasn't sure if Nathan really went to the troubles of this outfit, without actually the benefit of hiding.

"Need to go anyway" he whispered, so no one really could have figured out it was him and left.

"So now you aren't only stealing my current boyfriends you also make sure to get the numbers of my flirts?" I asked and raised one of my eyebrows at her. Yes, I just referred to Nathan as my flirt, but well she didn't know it was him… Whatever!

"I just tried to be polite Brooke" she said innocent. And I knew that probably she was telling the truth. Somehow I just felt guilty for flirting with Nathan, her ex, even if she stole Luke from me.

"I should go" I decided as I saw Nathan turn to the door. He seemed to be about to leave.

"Brooke" she said after me.

"Not now Peyton" I said and walked after him.

"Still not talking to you?" Lucas asked her as I walked after Batman.

"Nope, but she seems to be into a new guy, which is good, right?" Peyton asked insecure.

"Right" Lucas pressed out between his teeth.

"Wait up" I shouted after Nathan.

"Brooke" Nate turned around and I smiled.

"Well actually the devil, I wanted to buy your soul, but Brooke will do as well" I teased and a smile escaped his lips.

"I am sorry I didn't tell her who you were, I just wasn't sure…"

"You did the right thing, I was here incognito, so I didn't have to talk to them" he interrupted me.

"You okay right?" I asked and put my hand on his shoulder. I really barely saw his softer side, until the lock it together I would have never guessed he had one.

He nodded "Just not ready to show my face around them".

"Oh, you thought this through" I said "I should have too"

He smiled again and I felt like I could stop him from going away. And make him forget this little accident.

"You want to dance?" I asked pointing at the dance floor filled with people and he nodded.

"I guess"

"Oh you kill me here" I teased and he followed me. His shocked face expression didn't vanish.

"You just say all the things I girl wants to hear" I explained in total irony.

"Well good for me I guess, maybe I will get laid" he teased back.

"Oh you really think you get that lucky?" I asked playing along.

"Maybe" he smirked at me.

"So who is the girl?" I grinned and he rolled his eyes.

"Now you kill me here" he just repeated my sentence and we both danced to some song, some rock number that I didn't recognize. The song was over and Nathan noticed a friend of his walking over.

"This is Owen" he said and pointed at a guy with short dark hair dressed as a pirate.

"Hey, Brooke" I said and smiled politely.

"Nice to meet you" Owen said and faced Nathan.

"You want to get some real drinks?" he asked and Nate looked at me if I minded I shook my head and they left for the bar. Owen seemed to be 21 already because now they were having shots.

"Who is the guy?" Haley asked behind me.

"The guy?" I repeated nervously. I almost forgot that she was here as well, I bet she just spend some time with Luke and Peyton.

"Yes Brooke, the mysterious type dancing with you" she said and gave me her DUH look.

"Don't know yet" I said and turned to face her, I wasn't sure why I lied. Maybe I just wanted to shield him.

"You into him?" she asked totally happy. Though she rather would have seen me with her best friend, she just wanted to see me be happy.

"Don't know" I repeated again, because basically I didn't know yet.

"Well he seems, very mysterious" she said after looking at him more closely.

"I know" I smiled "Want to dance tutor girl?" I asked and she nodded so we got lost on the dance floor again.

"So what's the dial?" Owen asked Nathan.

"The dial?" Nathan was playing dumb as I was before.

"You know, with that girl? Brooke was the name?"Owen asked again before giving him another shot.

"She is nice and she has been through similar stuff, actually she was with Lucas before" Nathan told him.

"Luke the one you won't let me beat out the crap out?" Owen asked and Nathan laughed.

"Exactly" he added.

"To love" Owen said before pouring his drink down.

"Right" Nathan agreed suspicious and drank up.

"Your guy is coming" Haley whispered as she fleeted from me.

"Hey" I turned around to face Nathan again.

"Do you want to join us?" he asked and I could tell that he had a lot of drinks already.

"No, not now I actually like the song" I said and he pouted. It was so cute how his lower lip stood up now.

"Okay, just one drink" I agreed.

"Thanks" he smiled.

We walked over to Owen and I sat down between him and Nathan.

"Tequila, 3 of them" he ordered and smiled at me.

"Thanks" I said and Nathan nodded at him.

The bartender put the drinks in front of us and Owen cheered to us before drinking.

"So you seem like a real special Devil, never seen one with feathers" Owen teased me.

"Why does everyone say that, so the devil is feathery in my world" I complained and Nathan laughed.

"See Owen and I have some things in common, like our inability to make compliments" Nate smiled and I just recognized that Owen was just being nice by starting a small talk.

"Oh sorry, I kinda stand beside myself in the past few days" I said and Owen shook his head.

"No hard feelings, you make that one laugh again" he pointed at Nathan "and I am pretty thankful for that, he was beside him, since… you know"

I nodded and looked at Nathan. The softer side of Nathan, who would have guessed.

"He made me laugh today a couple of times himself" I smiled softly and Owen nodded.

"I noticed" he whispered.

We spend the rest of the evening together and it was just after 2 in the morning as my cell rang.

"Waiting at the car. Just come when you are ready, but I wanted to drive home soon –Hales"

"Sorry guys, seems like I will leave you now" I said and they both moaned. They were pretty drunk and I drank enough myself.

"My roommate just told me to get going or I will sleep on the streets or in hell" I added referring to my costume "Nice meeting you Owen" I smiled at the pirate and turned to Nathan "See you at school, Scott"

"Bye Brooke" I've heard behind me as I walked away to the door.

"Brooke" someone screamed behind me. I turned around to see Batman.

"Batman?" I smiled. Nathan put his hand on my back and looked me deep in my eyes.

"Just a stupid bet" he smiled at me.

"About kissing me?" I guessed and he nodded. So I put my hands on each side of his face and pulled him down in a soft little kiss.

"Was that enough?" I asked and he nodded.

"See you tomorrow" I smiled and Nathan murmured "Goodbye"

Then I finally left for the evening. I felt somehow lighter after spending time with the guys and after the sweet innocent kiss between Nathan and me.


	3. Chapter 3

Hey guys, thank you for your lovely preview, hope you tell me your opinion more. Actually it makes me smile all the time when I read your reviews and I keep writing. Sadly, or gladly (this is for you to decide) I started to get lost in this story, so I guess this one would not be as short as I expected. Hope you will still stick to it...

"Hey" Nathan's voice greeted me after math.

"Hey" I smiled and noticed that he was acting weird at least his face expression was weird.

"Something's wrong?" I asked directly.

"Well I don't remember the half of what happened yesterday, is there something I should be sorry for?" he asked honestly. Though I wasn't quite sure if was just checking if I remembered the kiss.

"Well you grabbed my ass and muttered some really impropriate suggestions in my ear, but other than that?" I teased and he first believed me.

"Oh I am… you are making fun of me" he recognized the tone now.

"You just gave me a sweet goodnight kiss, because of a bet" I reassured him "And only because I let you" I added nonchalant.

"Because of the bet?" he pointed out and his lips formed a crooked smile.

"Yes" I laughed "because of the bet"

"So you have plans after practice?" he asked innocently.

"Not yet" I went with his conversation.

"Owen and I wanted to grab something to eat, maybe hit a billiard café" he said "want to join us?"

"Hmmm… sounds nice actually, sure that I won't interrupt a guy's night out?" I asked.

"Yeah hundred per cent sure" he smiled.

"Okay than, count me in" I said and we got to my locker.

"See you after practice" Nathan smiled.

"You pick me up?" I asked and he nodded as he went for the gym.

"Thanks" I whispered.

Practice was long and really annoying, because as the cheer captain I was responsible for the routine and for that I had to be nice to Peyton again.

"Bevin just watch how Peyton goes in the triangle, and try not to fall" I said as we went through the routine for the fifth time.

"One, two, three" we started the routine again "No, no Haley does the side kick, not you Theresa" I stopped the music. Nathan just ran into the gym and I was distracted by him.

"You girls seem to be very tired, so maybe we should call it a night" I said as I caught myself. Gosh, did he look awesome in his uniform.

The girls nodded in agreement and I walked over to Haley.

"You have any plans for today?"

"Actually I told Lucas I would hang out with him today" Hales answered and felt guilty as soon as she finished "You are okay with it, right?" she asked right after her sentence.

"Yes, you were friends with him first" I smiled at her "and I have plans anyway, just thought you might want to join me"

"Oh, big plans with the mystery man?" Haley teased.

"No, actually just hanging out with Nathan and one of his friends" I said and Haley looked confused.

"We get along since we had been locked in together" I explained.

Her face was still skeptical.

"As friends" I pointed out.

She just nodded "you don't need to explain" she smiled.

"Thanks, just don't tell it Lucas" I decided to plead.

"Why not?" Hales wondered.

"I'm not sure he would approve or understand… and I don't want to get Nathan in trouble" I tried to word my thoughts.

"Got ya!" Haley smirked at me and we both walked back to the house.

"I call the shower" I said first and Haley moaned annoyed.

"You always do that" she complained.

"So you should get used to the rules by now" I laughed.

I was ready to go as the doorbell rang.

"I get it" I yelled towards the bathroom and walked to get the door. I checked my reflection in the mirror and smiled nervously.

"Hey" Lucas said as I opened the door. Not the Scott I was looking for.

"Haley isn't ready yet" I just said and let him in.

"Oh" he just sighed as he noticed my cold shoulder.

"Have a seat" I tried to be polite.

"Thanks" Lucas said and sat down. I was a bit tense about him being here, when I was about to be picked up by his brother.

"This is weird, right?" Luke asked as he watched me starring at the clock.

"Kinda" I answered shortly but at this moment the door rang and I went to get it.

"Ready Davis?" Nathan asked. There was no way, Luke wouldn't recognize his voice.

"Yes, just let me grab a coat" I said and pointed behind me. Nathan noticed Lucas and smiled.

"Hey Luke"

"Nate"

Wow, a greeting in 3 words or less. I decided to get my coat fast before this loving atmosphere faded.

"So how are you?" I've heard Lucas ask.

"Fine, you?" Nathan asked back. You could probably cut the tension with a knife, but I really didn't think that sharp things were needed in this situation.

"Let's go" I said as I came back from my room. I just caught the look that Lucas threw at me.

"Bye" they both said in the same moment and I closed the door behind Nathan and me.

"What a touching brotherly moment" I said in my teasing voice.

"Shut up" Nathan smiled softly and opened the door for me.

"Well aren't we all gentleman today" I teased and got in.

"So you guys wanted to go in a billiard bar and get your asses kicked by a girl?" I asked as I won for the second time on this evening.

"Or is that a cheap attempt in getting me drunk" I smiled as Owen brought another cocktail for me.

"As the losers always pay the winner in drinks"

"I think it's a bit of the second and maybe your unexpected skills which lead to the first" Owen smiled.

"I rather think we are bad, than she is good" Nathan teased me.

"You wish, Scott" I winked at him.

"Shouldn't a girl be happy to get free drinks?" Owen wondered.

"Oh, don't you worry first I can buy my own drinks and second…" I stopped "I bet a lot of guys here would gladly pay my drinks"

"No discussion about that" Owen smiled and licked his lip.

"Man, stop that" Nathan said and punched him softly at his side.

"Just agreeing with the girl" Owen laughed and I put the cue down and sat down beside Nathan.

"Let him agree with me, because I am always right, you know that" I smirked as he finally faced me with his sparkling blue eyes, which seemed even bluer from his shirt. He wore a black shirt over a blue t-shirt.

"You always are, except if you disagree with me" he smiled and I almost forgot what we talked about.

"You wish" I just teased back. Owen was watching us and then smiled a bit.

I turned around to face him finally.

"Thanks for inviting me over" I said and smiled at him.

"Well after you made me pay for a bet yesterday it was all I could do. I thought the girl that made me pay for all the drinks this guy has today, will at least pay half of mine and now I pay yours as well"

"Sorry" I said uncomfortable and bit my lip.

"Maybe you just need to be better at pool" Nathan came to my rescue.

"Oh, is that right?" Owen felt a challenge there.

"Yeah, you lose a lot" Nathan smiled evil.

"I dare you" Owen got up.

"Alright" Nathan agreed and they both looked at me.

"This is a guy thing, so I am out" I laughed "actually you need a referee, right?"

They both nodded.

"But don't judge by the looks, or he is out" Owen laughed.

"Thanks for inviting me over" I smiled as Nathan walked me over to my apartment.

"It was cool to have you around, even if you beat up our asses at pool" he said and than his hand touched my face, just underneath my eye.

"A lash" he smiled and hold it in front of me, "Make a wish" he smiled and I stood on my toes to get to his hand.

The door went open and Lucas stood there watching us. I fell back on my feet and faced him.

"Well, well" Lucas just muttered between his teeth.

I looked down and then faced Nathan, who was starring Lucas down.

"Is this like revenge?" Lucas asked amused.

"You wish" Nathan said coldly and turned back to me.

"I probably should go, see you tomorrow" Nathan said calmly "I don't want to get into a fight and ruin the nice evening" he added and left for his car.

"Bye" I whispered after him.

"Any explanations?" Luke asked me and I ignored him.

"I don't owe you any" I just stated after a while "you are in a happy backstabbing relationship, so…" I forced out.

"You think it's none of my business, that you screw my brother?" he asked angrily. He was tense and his hand was rolled into a fist.

"You just didn't say that" I said walked for the door and opened it "Just tell me you didn't" I said angry now.

"I did" Lucas said and took my arm to turn me around.

He was waiting for an explanation, for anything to make him feel better, but I wasn't about to give him one.

"Goodnight" I said as I unclenched his grip around my arm and closed the door. I pressed myself against the door.

"So he knows now?" Haley asked.

"Yes" I nodded in regret.


	4. Chapter 4

Thanks again, that you stick to my writing. Your reviews are just lovely so thank you and I hope you leave some more. I was left one review asking me to focus more on the ineraction of my characters and I hope that this chapter is better, because I tried to take in consideration what I've been told. Sorry if some grammar or spelling is wrong, but I'm not a native in english... Well, however I hope you enjoy and leave some comments, reviews and critics! xoxo

"So, how did jealous ex react?" Nathan whispered to me in chemistry. He leaned towards me, as he was sitting in the row behind me. I tensed as I felt his breath on my skin.

"Well, like expected" I said under my breath "he overreacted"

I heard him laugh. This sound made me smirk myself.

"Guess he told her as well" he muttered and I followed his gaze just to find Peyton starring at me.

"I guess you are right" I said calmly not losing my sight of her. Her blonde hair was straight, which was unusual for her. I noticed the little changes she went through, while dating Lucas. Her wardrobe became different; one could almost say it wasn't dark and twisty anymore. Her green eyes were focused on my hazel ones. Nathan breathed against my skin again and I became goose bumps.

"So you want to go to a party today?" he asked as a matter of fact.

"Where?" I grinned.

"At the beach house" Nathan whispered.

"Alright" I nodded.

"The team will be there, and I could use some support against, well you know whom" he smirked and I nodded my head slightly.

"Owen promised to come as well and he even invited some friends" he added and I turned around just to see that he was inches away from my own face.

"I think I might show up, to save your ass" I winked at him playfully.

"Miss Davis, you have something to say to the class?" Mr. Torres asked. His deep voice made everyone freeze in their seats.

"No, sorry" I bit my lip ashamed and then started writing down the facts he just wrote on the black board.

I felt Peyton's stare still on me. Being friends with her for so long made me notice this things immediately, but I refused to look back at her. I knew a conversation would probably follow by the end of the lesson, so I just waited until then.

"So" she said and watched me carefully. She positioned herself in front of my desk, both hands on it.

"So, what?" I asked nonchalant and packed my book.

"Stop playing stupid Brooke, what is going on with you and Nathan?" she asked and I looked up at her for the first time, since she came over.

"I don't really think it's any of your or Lucas' business" I spoke slowly feeling Nathan's presence.

"I'm none of your business Peyton" he said and she looked up shocked. I wondered if she really hasn't seen him yet, or if she was just shocked that he was somehow rude to her. I mean he was rude oft enough as they were dating, but after she and Lucas became a couple, Nathan wasn't himself anyway. Maybe that was what shocked her. To see his usual arrogant smile on his lips and the game on stare in his eyes.

"Never said you were" she tried to defend herself, falling into her usual routine with him. She was mad, he wasn't bothered and she felt sorry in the end, which actually made him go on with his badass attitude.

"Then, don't bother" he said and his smile became a smirk "ready to go?" he asked. His voice was soft now as he picked up my books and leaded me out of the classroom.

"Smooth" I whispered.

"Thank you" he grinned.

"You are okay, right?" I asked a bit worried and he just nodded.

"Surprisingly enough they didn't care about us that much as they hurt us" he smiled sarcastic. I just noticed that he was carrying my books and took them from him.

"Well that was because of all the cheating and sneaking around" I explained and he turned around and started to walk in front of me. His famous smile was totally distracting me. It was well known that Nathan had a smooth way to get a girl into do whatever he wanted, with just that smile.

"So party today?" he asked.

"Sure" I smiled softly "Just name the time" I smiled back at him.

"Six?" he asked and I simply nodded as Tim came.

"Nate we totally should call a striper"

"Bye" I whispered as I walked close by Nate and started to catch up with Haley.

"Lucas asks a lot about you and Nathan" she said as she saw me. She seemed to be tired after the first lesson, which was so untypical for Haley James. She was a bookworm out of a book actually.

"Hello to you to" I smirked uncomfortable. I hated to see her like that, and by the start of our conversation I knew she just had a class with Lucas and this would be our topic now.

"What am I supposed to say Brooke?" she asked and I noticed that she was exhausted in balancing us.

"Sorry, I guess it's kinda hard on you" I told her "just don't tell him anything and let him ask me, if he wants to know facts of my life, I don't want you to be the girl in between" Like this was his line, like he was waiting for me to say that he appeared behind us.

"Hey Hales" Lucas said and I turned around to face him.

"Hey Luke" she said a bit tense. She was really annoyed by this.

"Brooke" he nodded at me.

"Lucas" I kicked my eyebrows and my whole body was tense at once. Since he started seeing Peyton, my body reacted like that towards him

"Can I talk to you" he asked and I considered my options, but the only one shielding Haley was to talk to him. I really didn't like to admit that I was out of options anyway.

"Alright" I said and followed him. We went by Tim and Nathan and Nate gave me weird look, but I just winked at him and made him blush a bit. He was just adorable, once you've seen his soft side. Tim was babbling something about hooking up with Ashley and I just made a mental note to warn Ash.

"Talk" I said as we reached a bench on the school ground. It was the bench which was near the memorial stone.

"I don't like you hanging around with Nathan" Lucas just said out of nowhere. He was standing next to me and looking directly at me. I needed a moment to process what he just said. As I did, I laughed at that comment in disbelieve.

"You aren't seriously saying that" I breathed out in laughter and shook my head.

His blue eyes were concentrating on me and there was no joke in them. He really came here to tell me with whom I should hang and whom I should avoid. Something about this whole situation was ridiculous.

"Sure I am" he said "he isn't good enough for you"

I just couldn't believe he started to care: who was good enough for me.

"Oh, and you were?" I asked and licked my upper lip.

"Maybe" he leaned towards me.

"You weren't Luke" I said with all my power "I was wrong for ever thinking that you were a decent guy"

"You weren't" he interrupted me and put his hand on my arm.

"Oh so you didn't cheat on me with my best friend?" I asked sarcastic and pushed his hand away from my shoulder.

"Well I didn't screw your sister" he said angry now. He looked at his hand and I knew that the anger came from the rejection he just felt.

"See you aren't with me, which was your decision by the way" I started to calm him down a bit.

"It wasn't" he interrupted me again. He was starting to become one of those broken records.

"It was the moment your lips touched hers, or the moment you slept with that Nicky bitch" I smiled at him shaking my head "Does Peyton know about that?" I asked out of curiosity. I knew about Nicky, only out of very strange circumstances. I was having drinks with her as she told me that I should totally stuck to the high school guys, and that they are really cute and sweet and then she told me about her little one night stand with Lucas. It didn't shock me by then anymore.

He had stiffen and breathed out heavily. Obviously he didn't know I knew.

"I'm not going to tell her, don't worry" I said bitterly "But I don't owe you anything" I added.

"I won't tell her, because it would just hurt her" I explained as his face looked at me in disbelieve. Sure I hated Peyton for what she had done to me, but she was still one of my longest friends and I didn't want her to suffer, like I did.

"But I don't owe you a thing, especially no apology" I said and turned away to leave him puzzled.

Nathan watched me pass by and looked concerned, but I ignored this. I was not ready to deal with it right now.

I tried on at least 3 different outfits and left with the red dress that I tried on as my very first choice.

I knocked at the door of his beach house and Nathan opened leaning against his arm as he watched me standing in the door.

"You look nice" he whispered at me and shivers ran down my spine.

"Well thanks" I said and waited for him to kick the door open as he did, I walked in.

"You don't look bad yourself" I noted as I noticed that the place was empty.

"I asked you to come by earlier" he whispered behind me and I smiled "Well you and Owen, but he is late, as always" he smirked and offered me a seat. He was sitting next to me with his hands uncomfortably on his knees.

"You want a drink?" he asked nervous.

"I never seen you so…uncomfortable" I laughed and he just got up and poured some alcohol in two cups.

"I was thinking about changing that" he smirked and I took a sip.

The party became crowded. Owen came as he promised.

"Hallo dimples" he smirked at me and I grinned back. Something about Owen was just comforting; his presents made everyone become calmer.

"Hey" I just whispered and he looked into my cup.

"Oh you need some refill" he said and walked to the bar.

Peyton and Lucas entered as well, holding their hands. They looked happy together and I wondered if they would let me and Nathan, be happy as well.

Peyton's hair fell down in curls and her black dress was suiting her. Lucas was wearing a jeans and a blue shirt. It seemed to be similar to the red black shirt that Nathan was wearing. I stopped starring at them as a cup was in front of me.

"Thanks" I smiled at Owen and got up "you want to get some fresh air?" I asked and he walked out with me.

"So that were Peyton and Lucas?" he asked and I nodded.

"I wonder how these two could screw you and Nate over" he said seriously watching them through the window.

"Well they have great abilities" I smiled and he caught the irony and concentrated on me now.

"Here you are" Nathan said and came out as well.

"See as soon as ice king and queen come in, you hide outside" Owen shook his head and we burst into laughter.

"At least it can't get much worse now" Nathan smirked and I nodded in agreement.


	5. Chapter 5

Okay I was really inspirited by your reviews, so I do really upload for the second time today! I can't believe it myself… hope you enjoy. Tell me your opinion ;)

I opened my eyes and felt my head to be moving up and down with someone's breath. The smell was spicy but still sweet and I looked up just to notice that I was lying on top of Nathan. I also noticed some steps, they were meant to be quite, but I still heard feet tap on the floor, so I looked up. Owen was already up and held a garbage bag in his hand. He was collecting the empty cups. I wanted to get up and help the big guy, but I couldn't. Nathan's arms were tight around me: one resting on my hip and the other on my back.

"Time to rise and shine" I whispered as I carefully put my hand on his cheek. His skin was all warm and soft. He just moaned in reaction. I stroke his cheek once again, he looked so peaceful that I almost didn't want to wake him, I just wanted to go back to sleep in his arms, but Owen shouldn't have to tidy up by himself, so I decided to change my tactics.

"Nathan Royal Scott" I said more loudly "If you don't get up…" I guessed his mum often used that line to get him out of bed.

"Royal" Owen busted out in laughter and smashed the cup in his hand. If that didn't wake him, I wasn't sure what would.

"Brooke" Nathan moaned still in sleep and I smirked. I wondered what he dreamt about.

"Come on Nathan" I whispered and put my hand on his chest to caress it "get up" I pouted and I saw him grin.

"Ha, it's working" I smiled proudly and he opened his eyes.

"Yes, it does" he teased. I looked at his hands but he just didn't move them. They were still tight around me and I just decided to tickle him, and as I did his grip loosen, and we both fell down on the floor. It would have been harder, if we didn't fall down on a blanket, which seemed once to have covered us. Both of us started laughing until Owen towered himself over us and made a little bow:

"Would you help me collect all this crap, Royal?" Owen teased and Nathan picked me playfully in my side.

"Thank you very much, Penelope" he said and Owen lost grip of the garbage bag and laughed even harder.

"Penelope" he breathed between laughs.

"Yeah my mum is a monster" I said and Nathan helped me up.

We all were up now and started to collect all the cups from the floor. Until I found the video tape I remembered the evening as amazingly calm. I was even shocked how calm I remembered it to be. Of course it wasn't calm at all.

"_Let's see some Nathan action" someone yelled and Nathan and I walked back into the room, followed by Owen. The TV was running and we could see a little boy working on his free throws. Facing the basket and swoop the ball was in. A brunette little girl with dimples was standing next to him cheering. _

"_Little B" Owen stated and I nodded. Nathan and I exchanged a look. We knew each other back then, and it was surprising that we still knew each other, if not even better now._

_Then there was a cut at Nathan when he was 16, playing ball against his father and another cut, which had nothing to do with basketball, but still was about scoring. Nathan was on top of a girl. She wore a pink bra, or at least she was before the named bra was thrown against the camera. You could hear the girl moan loudly and he was breathing heavily._

"_Some real action" someone screamed in the last row. I closed my eyes, knowing exactly which bra I just have seen and whose voice would soon scream Nathan's name. Owen stepped up towards the video and pressed stop. I still couldn't feel my heart calm anytime soon as I sighed in relief. Some people booed at him and he just pulled the video out and gave it to me. I was shocked. Did he already know? _

_He just walked by Lucas and turned around with his grip tight around Luke's shirt. Owen was bigger and stronger, so Luke's feet left the ground._

"_Don't you mess with my friend in his house" Owen said in a serious voice "You are not man enough to deal with the consequences" he said towering himself over Lucas._

_Luke just smirked._

"_And who are you to defend him?" he asked and I could tell it was the wrong answer. At least Luke's - I'm so badass-attitude was not what O wanted to hear._

_Owen just smirked at him "I used to destroy guys like you daily, back in High School, I was even worse than Nathan and I heard he managed to kick your ass numerous times" he explained "And you don't want to challenge me, did you get that?" he asked, it was a rhetorical question, really. _

_Lucas nodded and was put back down on the ground. Just as Lucas relaxed he was threatened by a sudden move Owen made towards him and hit the wall._

"_Consider this, hitting without the hitting" Owen said and walked over to me and Nathan._

"_Should I throw him out?" he asked, but Peyton was faster._

"_We find the exit" she said taking Lucas' hand and leading him out._

"So who was the chick?" Owen asked Nathan as he noticed the tape in my hands.

"Yeah, Nate: who is the chick?" I emphasized the last word. I just hated how a girl was something you had to conquer and as soon as you did, she was just a chick you screwed or the chick that eased some pressure. Actually it annoyed me even more that I was this chick in this one.

Nathan looked down on the floor as Owen looked at me in total shock.

"Little B!" he screamed out "You didn't" Owen shook his head and Nathan nodded. On his lips a smile appeared. It was his embarrassed laugh that was basically screaming: I don't want to brag, but yes I did.

"Good wor…" he coughed as he noticed my stare "I mean…" he tried to find some words "how stupid was I about betting on her not to kiss you, when she already…" his thoughts were running weird.

"Just shut up" I said.

"That explained the moans" he smiled at Nathan teasingly now "and repeating her name this morning"

"Would you really blame a guy?" Nathan asked shrugging and it was defiantly too much guy talk going on here.

"Eww" I interrupted "I'm still in the room, you know?" I screamed at them.

Eventually they stopped and we got the beach house clean. Owen left for practice, he said that skipping class was necessary, but he couldn't let his team suffer because of us.

"So please don't do anything impropriate, while I'm gone" he told Nathan, who just shrugged and I punched his shoulder slightly.

"Would you stop now?" I said and turned to Owen "we never would" I smiled "again" I added as I noticed them exchange glances. I just hit them both again slightly and said goodbye to Owen.

I remembered that the only place we didn't clean up, was outside around the pool, so I just went outside and kneed down pretty close to the pool, to get 2 swimming cups.

As I opened my eyes again, I was already thrown into the pool.

"What was that for" I screamed and rubbed the water out of my eyes.

"That was for calling me Royal this morning" Nathan smiled as he joined me in the pool "plus you needed a cold shower" he teased.

"No remember, that was you" I said and started a water fight.

After a while we rested on the wall of the pool and I smiled at him softly.

"Sorry that I kept the video" Nathan said after a while.

"Shouldn't you be sorry about making one in first place" I kicked my eyebrow at him.

"I swear I didn't meant to show it anyone" he said hasty.

"Don't sweat it, you didn't right?" I asked.

"I even forgot it was there at all" he whispered ashamed.

"Well now that you know, you could destroy it" I said and he nodded again. He really felt sorry. I swam closer to him and put my hand on his cheek.

"Stop to worry" I whispered "no damage done"

"Just because of Owen" he frowned back at me and I was feeling bad for him, he totally blamed himself. It was his fault, but still nothing bad happened to us, so he shouldn't be worry now. I leaned against him and kissed his lips softly.

"I'm not mad" I smiled against his lips "so would you please get over it?"

He nodded and kissed me once again.

I walked inside my apartment, just to find Haley study on the couch. She even wore her glasses, which meant some real studying was going on, so I tried to be quite, but never the less she looked up and started to laugh.

"What?" I asked and she just pointed to the mirror. I looked inside and remembered that I was wearing Nathan's pants and one of his sweaters, because my dress was still soaking wet after our little water accident. I looked really funny, I must admit.

"Shut up" I said and let myself fall right beside her.

"You had a great time?" she asked her smirk never left her mouth.

"Yeah, I really had" I said "When did you leave?"

"Actually I left after you, Owen and Nathan started to watch some bad movies and couldn't stop laughing at any crap that came on TV" she rolled her eyes.

"Why…" I started but she interrupted me.

"You were having so much fun; I just decided that I should let you enjoy it a bit more".

"Thanks" I said and leaned against her shoulder.

"By the way, we are out of eggs" Haley just said as a matter of fact.

"It was my turn?" I asked and she nodded.

"I'm so sorry" I said and promised her to buy some as soon as I could walk again.

"Already did" she said and I excused myself for another 10 minutes, but she just made me stop.

"You should really get some sleep, you look like crap" she joked and then smirked "no, really go to bed, it's okay at least you laugh again"

I smiled softly at her and closed the door to my room after myself.

I looked again in the mirror, the clothes were really too big for me, but they smelled like him and the sweater suited me, so I just let myself fall down on my bed and closed my eyes. After all that I expected this evening to be, it ended in quite the opposite direction.

Lucas got his ass kicked, Peyton had herself kicked from her high horse and I ended up having fun with my friends, I would consider it a pretty good turnout. I touched my lips and smiled, the kiss was a great bonus. Actually this kiss was worth all the troubles I went through, to get it.


	6. Chapter 6

_Thank you all again for the lovely comments... hope you enjoy the update. Sorry that it took me longer to update, but I couldn't get logged in yesterday. As I alread told you, the story now seem to get longer than expected, so I'll be glad to see you all keep reading it. I appriachiate comments, review, critics and any other questions about the story..._

Another night, another party! The college life really seemed like a lot of Friday nights thrown together. Owen invited us over. Obviously he met Haley at the party because she was invited as well.

I was sitting on a sofa, as a guy came over and sat down beside me. We talked about him playing for Duke and about Owen. He seemed to know him pretty well. It was nice, but I still was focused on Nathan, who played a game of dart against Owen and Haley. I liked to watch his whole body; there was something about it that just screamed perfect all over the room. We didn't talk about the kisses after the party and I was still confused about the meaning of them. I tried to concentrate on my conversation again, but Haley came over and took my hand.

"You really should join us" she said and I excused myself from Felix and joined the group.

"How are your feet, Shorty?" Owen asked and I made a grimace, he always teased me about my heels, because even with them on I was much shorter than he was.

Nathan grinned at me and handed me some darts.

"Thanks" I smiled and started to shoot. I really sucked first. My dart almost hit the wall. Nathan walked over to me and put his right hand around mine and pressed my body against his with his left. His hand was touching me gentle and a smile on his lips. I looked at him in shock. His hand was holding mine with a soft grip.

"Just showing you, how it's done" he teased and put his left hand on my face to make me turn back to the bull eye. He bended my hand back and muttered "release" as it was in front of me again.

"Bulls eye" Owen said surprised at us.

"See" he smiled "that's how it's done"

I bit my lip and he pulled away from me again. I wanted to suck again, so he had to show me again, but I concentrated again as I heard his soft voice. I couldn't fall for him anyway, I convinced myself.

"Try it" he whispered and I did the same move by myself.

"That's just unfair" Owen said pissed as I hit Bulls eye again. I was jumping up and down cheery as Haley rolled her eyes.

"I hoped you would suck more than I did" she said and pouted.

"Sorry, roomy" I laughed and she just shook her head.

We had a talk not long ago, about me falling in this black hole. Being without destination I was a bad friend and a worse roommate, but Haley stuck to me through this period. That was actually when she moved in.

"_My parents are moving country, I guess that's the bad of having hippie parents" she had laughed and I still was sitting on the couch not moving an inch._

"_Brooke" she whispered and sat down beside me "what's wrong?"_

"_I try to get over it, but I think I need time" I breathed out and tears ran down my face._

"_You want me to stay over? We could rant a movie and order a pizza?" she asked._

Thatwas exactly what we were doing every now and then since she moved in. Normally people would be shocked, that Haley was still friends with me. I mean she was Lucas' childhood friend after all, but Haley had a sense of justice that I was amazed by. She thought that Lucas had treated me poorly and she was trying to put the pieces together at first. After a while she just enjoyed to be living with a good friend, so the living arrangement kept going. And she was even happier to see me cheery again.

"It's okay" she said and gave me a teasing smile as she looked from me to Nathan. I gave her my shocked face expression that was screaming, stoooop. Nathan took my hand and my face that was mockingly shocking Haley just seconds ago was now puzzled.

"Want to get some fresh air?" he asked me and I nodded.

Haley winked at me as I left and I just smiled shocked at her.

"I wanted to tell you that I destroyed the video tape" he smiled softly as he leaned against the wall.

"Nice to know" I said smiling softly now.

"But it was pretty hot" he smirked at me teasingly "I mean I almost forgot how bendy you were" he left out a deep chuckle.

"You watched?" I asked shocked and softly punched his hand and he laughed embarrassed.

"Well who wouldn't?" I teased nonchalant and rested my hand on his arm. Nathan leaned forward and his face was again too close. I saw his chest rise and fall as he breathed faster. I could even hear his heart beat a bit faster. I moved closer, not that I actually did this on purpose, it just happened I guess. My lips were close to his. He leaned in and kissed me out of nowhere. It was soft and innocent kiss, but I felt my own heart almost stop the moment he pressed his lips on mine and then it almost broke my chest, while it couldn't stop hammering.

Nathan let go of me. I looked up at him and tried to read his face, but it was almost blank.

"This was" he said and had to cough to get his normal voice back "thank you for being understanding" he smiled halfhearted and I put a street of hair that was falling in my face behind my ear.

"It's a nice way to say thank you" I smiled and he nodded.

We stood there for a moment unable to move and Nathan's face softened as he noticed my attempt to read him. He offered me his hand and leaded me back in.

"I'll be right back" he smiled "you need a drink?" he asked.

"Sure" I whispered and watch him leave. He walked towards Owen and muttered something. Owen followed him to the bar and they ordered. They talked and I could only see Owen shake his head.

"What are you doing?" Haley let herself fall down on the couch.

"I…"I whispered and she followed my gaze.

"Oh, spying "she smirked and I just nodded.

"You probably could walk over, and listen closer, if you really want to hear what they talk about" she suggested and I turned around.

"So they can see me spy?" I asked in disbelieve.

"You could get yourself a drink" a red headed girl smirked at me.

"Oh" I felt so pathetic "it's okay" I tried to convince myself and them. Even this girl that I have never seen before was aware of my wretchedness, and it made me blush, but I really wanted to know what it was Nathan told Owen.

"Go" Haley ordered and the red hair nodded.

So I got up and walked just close enough to hear Nathan say.

"We are better as friends, Brooke and I". I froze where I was. My heart was beating fast and I wondered why he even kissed me if he just wanted to be friends. I sucked on my lower lip out of a nervous habit. My throat felt dry and I walked to the other part of the bar to order.

The barkeeper was smiling softly and all I wanted to do was to smack his face. How could I even start to fall for Nathan anyways? I mean he was the second Scott, and the first already played ping pong with my heart. I got the cup with my cocktail and got a big gulp. The bartender was smiling at me softly and I just left.

Haley noticed that I was tense and laid her hand on my shoulder. I bit my lip and smiled.

"Nothing a drink couldn't fix" I smirked holding my disappointment back.

"There never is any problem a drink and some hot guys can't fix" the red-haired girl said and added "Rachel"

"Brooke" I smiled at her "or her pathetic self" I bitterly added. Breathing was really hard right now but I forced myself to get a normal rhythm. The girl laughed sympathetic and I turned back to Haley whose grip tightened on my shoulder.

"Brooke, what happened?" Haley asked but was interrupted by Nathan and Owen who sat down.

"I told you I get you a drink" Nathan said as he noticed my cup, he was a bit confused.

"This" I started.

Rachel took the cup from my hand and smiled "is mine, she was trying my own creation"

Owen smiled at her.

"Still trying to convince everyone that Sympathy is a great drink?" he asked.

"Well it just is, face it smartass" she said and he laughed.

Nathan put the cup in front of me and as I took it my fingers touched his. A sudden rush of pain ran through my veins and I looked up at Haley.

"Maybe you are right, we should be fit for cheer practice tomorrow" I said and Haley nodded.

I loved that she could read my mind within an instant.

"After all you made it start at 9 in the morning" she said as if she would complain. She never complained about being up early. She was the sunny type that stood up with the sun enlightening the room.

"Yeah, I guess we will hit it home" I said sorry was in my voice.

"You don't need to, I can drive you home as well" Nate said and I froze a bit, but shook my head.

"Nah, it's okay" I smiled.

"You are a cheerleader in Tree Hill?" Rachel asked and I nodded.

"Hey then I see you for the audition tomorrow" she smirked.

"You are in High School?" I asked a bit shocked. Now I faced her for the first time, she looked older than me and Haley, but she defiantly wasn't a college girl quite yet. She had a beautiful face and a great body, which made every girl question herself. Her smile was big and friendly. She was the perfect cheerleader.

"You go to Tree Hill?" Haley asked in disbelief, because none of us had seen her there.

"Yeah, since today I am" she laughed and I noticed that she just tried to help me out of my awkward situation with Nathan.

"Who would have guessed" I smiled and Nathan leaned closer to me, which made the breathing thing harder.

"Anyway" I changed the subject again "We should go now" I looked at Owen "Sorry"

The big guy put his arms around me and hugged me goodbye. Haley politely said thank you for the invitation and smiled goodbye to Nathan. I tried to avoid this moment, I couldn't hug him right now. So I said goodbye to Rachel, but eventually I needed to turn around and there he was.

Nathan was standing right behind me. He opened his arms and hugged me.

"I still would drive you home" he said and I tensed inside his arms. My heart was pounding like crazy and tears were building up in my eyes. He smelled so good, but the warmth of his body felt so wrong.

"I know, but I should really drive with Haley" I said controlled. I wouldn't survive the 20 minutes drive with him beside me. This right here was hard enough. He said it himself we were friends, and I behaved like a friend, right?

"See you at practice" he said and his arms were still locked around me.

"You will" I patted his back and he slowly unlocked his grip.

"Bye" I said and smiled at them all once again.

"Ready" Haley asked and I nodded breathing heavily.

The ride home was quite, we didn't talk for a long time. Haley searched for a radio channel that played something decent at 3 in the morning. Finally she stopped the channel searcher and looked up at me.

"You want to talk about it?" she asked and I sighed.

"Not really" I said.

"Cookie Dough it is" she smiled softly and I grinned, or at least I tried to.

"I guess this might actually help" I smirked and listened to the lyrics.

"_CC__Can you tell me what have I done so wrong to you?  
TTTTell me what am I supposed to do?  
I should be loved by you  
that I know is true.  
I can't breathe when you're around!_

_I should be held at night  
that I know is right  
But I can't breathe when you're around__"_

I started to sob a bit and Haley put her arm on my shoulder again.

"Whatever he said, I don't think he meant half of it, you know he was drinking and maybe…" she muttered.

"Like drunken people have the ability to lie" I scoffed and she just concentrated again on the road. I took a deep breath: "Sorry".

"Never mind" she whispered.

We came home and I let myself fall down on my bed. Tears were running down my face and I hugged my pillow to make myself calm down. After a while Haley walked in and gave me a spoon and a cookie dough ice cream.

We ate it in silence, because I couldn't deal to talk right now and eventually I managed to fall asleep.


	7. Chapter 7

_New chapter, hope you'll like it_

„Good morning Miss Davis"couch Durham said all cheery. I just sighed and smiled back.

"Morning" I just said, because actually nothing was good about this morning. Haley and I got only 3 hours sleep and we were here first to set up all we needed for practice, which meant we were here alone with the basketball players.

"Hey" Nathan said as he came jogging to me. The gym was full with the team and I even noticed Lucas in the background. Maybe the two brothers were similar after all. At least both made me feel like crap in the end.

"Hey" I managed to collect enough self-control to say.

"Seems like I am fitter though I didn't sleep at all" he smirked at me "Hey Haley" he addressed to my friend and she smiled back politely.

"Well you will feel like crap afterwards" I teased him slightly. In the morning I decided to play along. I wasn't falling for him anyway I told myself, so being just friends was not such bigger deal.

"I bet" he smiled.

"Scott, will you concentrate on the practice or should I put Miss Davis' pretty face on the ball, so you can concentrate" Whitey called from the other side of the gym and Nathan smirked at me and ran off.

"Well, that went well" Haley stated.

"I guess" I said and got the CD recorder and some of my notes to go through the routine again.

"Good morning" Peyton said in her fake cheery way and sat down beside me.

"Hey" I just said and concentrated on my notes even harder. Didn't I suffer enough already, for one morning?

"Brooke" she smiled at me "could you please tell your friends to stop threatening my boyfriend?" she asked and sounded like a really ironic plead "because you know, after you and my ex are hitting the sheets…"

I tensed because I thought that she might have noticed that it was me who was in the tape with Nathan.

"At least you look like it" she added disgusted and I sighed in relief.

"I tell them, as soon as you stop being such a bitch Peyton" I smiled my fake grin at her and she just shook her head in disbelieve.

"And just for your information, we are just friends" I said, what I didn't notice was that Nathan was standing close enough, to hear me.

"Oh, like I care" Peyton just said and rolled her eyes as if she didn't crave for that information.

The rest of the practice went well. The audition was pretty easy. Rachel was the only one with decent moves and she even had a great music taste.

"You're in" I told her and she insisted to start practicing right away. Bevin felt down two times during a twist and we scratched that out and I promised to replace that part as soon as I could come up with something new. Other than that our routine seemed to be set.

"I will be over at Karen's tonight, first work and afterwards a goofy night with Luke" Haley said as she packed her things "Except you want me to stay" she added.

"No, go have fun" I smirked.

"And Brooke, it's your turn to do the dishes" Haley laughed evil as she left the room.

I couldn't hide a smile and changed as well. Rachel was really happy to be part of the cheer squad and I promised her to meet her one day and go over the routine with her. As I stepped out I saw Nathan lean against a poster in the hallway waiting for me. God, I took forever to get changed and I was the last person in there, but still he waited. I took a deep breath of more or less fresh air and stepped towards him.

"So what's up?" I smiled and he seemed to be tense as well.

"Nothing much, Owen told me to give you an invitation to a Dare night" he said and I smirked at him. He showed me a card in his hand and I took it from him. Again the pain ran through my veins as I touched him. My body didn't quite like the idea of me ignoring him.

"_We need to be daring, so come today to Duke and play with me, Nathan and some guys. We dare you- Owen"_ I read on the card.

"Sounds different" I smiled softly.

"Yeah" he just let out and looked on the floor.

"You know first we meet at their campus to clear the rules and the rest is in the mall" he said politely "should I pick you up?" he asked.

"That would be really nice of you" I smiled and I noticed that we both were unusually stiff today. Our hands were pressed to our body and we stood at least 4 feet away from each other.

"Good" he said calm and emotionless "Be ready at 8" he whispered and I nodded.

"See you later" I left and I could swear he waited until I was gone in the hallway, before he started to move at all.

"_There's still time to turn this around  
Should we be building this up  
Instead of tearing it down  
But I keep thinking  
Maybe it's too late.  
It's like one step forward  
And two steps back,  
No matter what I do  
You're always mad  
And I, can't change your mind, oh"_

The song in the radio was sad and I listened to the lyrics as I looked outside the window of his car. Maybe we were never meant to be. We knew each other for so long now, and we never even considered a relationship. Our parents on the other hand always have seen us as a perfect match. Always planning events in our life to make us understand how convenient an association between the only Davis child and the better Scott would be. But then again, you just needed to take a look at our parent's marriage. Unhappy, torn and mostly about power, yeah this were the marriages in the high society. It wasn't about love, it was just convenient. You gained more power with this kind of arrangement. It was never said aloud, but actually every party knew they does and their don'ts. All this thoughts were running through my mind as I noticed that I wasn't talking much and he wasn't either. I opened the window to feel the fresh air on my face because it was sticky in here and partly because I felt intoxicated by his smell. I wanted to wrap my arms around him and kiss him once again: innocently and sweet. His lips pressed on mine. The wind was blowing hard against my face and I started to freeze a bit, but I left the window open. We were there already.

He stopped the car and opened the door for me offering his hand to help me out. I hesitated for a second before I took it. This pain was still there every time I touched him or was close to him. Sure my mind decided that being friends was a smart move and this way I wouldn't completely miss Nathan in my life, but a little voice told me that this wasn't enough. This same voice wondered why Nathan kissed me and was flirting with me, when he just wanted to be friends. I really hated this little annoying voice. It was making me self-conscious. Twenty minutes without talking, I just noticed. We actually already were at Owen's campus. It was amazing, how tense we both were and how cold.

"So you look forward this?" I asked to break the silence and at least to pretend that everything was as it usually would be. Of course I also wanted to quiet the bothersome thoughts in my head.

"Sort of" he smiled at me and opened the door for me to walk into the campus. He was extremely polite today and extremely distant.

"Hello, hello, look who's here" Owen smiled and I noticed the red- haired girl and a brown headed boy. I knew immediately that it were Rachel and Felix and breathed out in relief. I already knew them, so there would be no weirdness. At least no weirdness here…

"Sorry, traffic man" Nathan said as he greeted Owen and I wondered when we had traffic on our way here, was the ride really longer than it usually was? I was really lost in thoughts.

"Well I really planned this through, so come on" he said and led us to the table. We all greeted each other. There were three empty chairs: one beside Felix and one beside Rachel and the one between these two. I just looked around and sat down next to Felix and Nathan took the seat next to Rachel, so Owen was left between us.

"Well" he said and raised his eyebrows in surprise about the way people were sitting right now, but he continued never the less. I guess he as well felt the charged atmosphere.

"We have a lot of dares in this bag" he showed us "every dare has a name of the person who has to do it" he smiled as he showed us an envelope out of his big bag and we all were confused at how long he thought this through "well most of the dares are funny". He smirked at me and I smiled.

"So noting to worry about" he teased again in my direction and I punched his arm playfully.

"Continue O" I smirked. This felt good, to really smile and not to have to fake it.

Felix who was sitting next to me leaned closer to listen to Owen and I could feel his arm touching mine. I kept listening though. I only once looked up, to see if Nathan noticed that, and saw his cold glare, he looked back at Owen as our eyes met. I did too, a bit embarrassed.

"We will make photos of the completed dares" he said and showed us 2 digital cameras. Rachel looked at him in disbelieve.

"Because we won't see all dares?" she asked pouting and he nodded. It was clear now, that everyone around this table wasn't doing this for the first time except me and Nathan, I guess.

"Exactly, some dares, we will all enjoy - others we will only see on the photo" he smiled and got up.

"So everyone is in?" he asked and we all nodded. Felix got up and offered me his hand. I smiled and let him help me up. He was really sweet. I heard Rachel laughed and I turned around to face her. Nathan obviously told her something funny. Yeah, right! I just rolled my eyes and followed Owen's lead.

"Don't worry, you will have the easier dares" Felix muttered and I looked up at his warm brown eyes. The smirk on his face and his hair totally messed up, he glared down on me.

"Owen sees you, as his little sister, I guess" he explained "and he told us to stay away from you, because he knows how college boys are, but he was worse in high school if I remember right" Felix thought for a moment and laughed.

"I never asked to take care for me, I can take good care of myself" I just said in my sassy way and Nathan coughed from behind reaching us.

"She is a mouth full that one" he said as a joke, but somehow I didn't see the smile reach his eyes. I could almost be defamation from him.

"Well than you probably should take little bites" Rachel smiled and I nodded.

"Well, as long as you don't choke" Felix smiled softly and Nathan rolled his eyes in antipathy.

We drove to the mall with different cars, which made me stick with Nathan again. The anxiety between us was growing and I just didn't know how to behave around him. I would have loved to be normal around him, to proof that nothing changed by his comment about us being friends, but my body reacted so vivid to his, that it was almost unbearable to be even close to him. I collected myself again and put on a smile. At least I could talk to him these five minutes; I already was as entertaining as a fish on the way here.

"So we have a long night before us, huh?" I smiled as I remembered the big bag that Owen prepared. It wasn't the best topic I could have come up with, but it was just the first thought in my mind except Nathan.

"I guess" Nathan said and followed the cars in front of us. He wasn't making this any easier for me at all, he didn't even think of joining that meaningless conversation. I wondered what was wrong with him; I mean I was different, because of the things he said to Owen –the us being friends –part, actually. But he?

"College must be easy if he has so much time to prepare stuff like that" I continued our small talk.

"Maybe he is just having fun you know?" Nathan said and I shut my mouth for a second.

"I guess" I said and he stopped the car and we both walked out. This wasn't pleasant but at least we were there already. I was still confused over his brand new attitude towards me.

Nathan was heading towards Owen and the rest of the guys.


	8. Chapter 8

_Hey guys thanks for your lovely reviews, you really inspire me!_

"Everyone is here, finally" Owen smiled as we entered. He saw our glare and opened his bag, before any of us could say anything and let Rachel get an envelope first. She read the card aloud.

"Ask a guy to buy a drink…" she read and smirked "easy" she added and Owen pointed to her to turn the card "for a male friend of yours" she read and rolled her eyes.

"The other one would have been too easy Rach" Owen smirked and we went in. Rachel was scanning the crowd and found some guys, she asked them but they just shook their heads or burst into laughter. Then I noticed that sparkle in her eyes and she walked over to a guy who seemed to be all into basketball and she whispered something in his ear, after which he nodded and bought a soda from a Hot Dog stand. She came over with him and he gave the coke to Nathan.

"Go Ravens" the boy smiled, he must have been fourteen or younger. He had ginger hair and a Tree Hill button on his jacket. He stood there nervously holding the coke up for the basketball player and Nathan smiled at him.

"Thanks buddy" he said and the guy almost ran away, that's how ashamed he was. His face was reddish now and it really looked funny with his hair color.

"Clever" I smiled at Rachel and she looked up and down on Nathan.

"He did most of the job" she said with a smile and I stiffened right there, but I forced a grin on my face. Okay she obviously was checking him out. An ache in my stomach made me feel weak for a moment.

"Right" Owen interrupted the bonding between her and Nathan and pointed at me "your turn" he whispered and I crinkled my nose. Ladies first was the rule, I hated the person who brought up that one.

"Come on, it won't be that bad" Owen smiled and I opened my dare.

"Kiss a boy and a girl on a cheek" I read and looked confused at Owen, but turned around the card "that are dating" I rolled my eyes at him and walked off. The other one would have been too easy I guess. I could see the stares of my friends as I reached up for a couple. He was tall and blonde and she had reddish hair. I decided to walk towards him with open arms "Jake" I said and kissed his cheek. The girl tensed beside me and I turned around fast "Ashley, I've missed you guys so much" I smiled and kissed her cheek as well.

"His name is Steve" the girl said in a rising voice "you must mistake us for someone else" she said.

"Ups" I smiled embarrassed and excused myself, before I reached the group again.

"Smooth" Felix said and the smile vanished from Nathan's lips. I felt Felix pattern my arm and I grinned at him. Was he hitting on me?

"I want to be next" Nathan muttered and leaned towards the bag. As he leaned in he was trying not to fall and so his hand was on Rachel's arm as well. I noticed this and turned around to face Felix and put my hand on his.

"Thank you" I said in my sweet voice and Nathan read out his card to break my sweet moment.

"Find 2 girls, who would love to have a threesome with you" he read aloud and laughed turning his card around "and then tell them you can't" he read and sighed in regret. This wasn't smoothing my mood.

He walked over to some girly girls, which seemed to be best friends. He leaned against the wall and muttered something, one girl was outraged by this, you could see her body lean forward to punch him, but her friend just giggled, so she stopped.

"So, are you up for a threesome?" I heard Nathan's arrogant voice.

One of the girls – the giggly one – nodded and the other one sighed.

"Well, that's super cute" he said in a teasingly sexy voice "but I" he checked his phone "my girlfriend just said, she wants me back and I could have a threesome with her and two other cheerleaders…wow" he smirked and closed his phone "sorry girls" he smiled and left. I heard the giggly one shout "Asshole" behind him and laughed.

This was badass Nathan, the one that I knew before Peyton broke his heart. He came back glowing from his victory. I was tense and I couldn't explain why I was. Owen was next.

Owen's dare was pretty funny, he had to convince 4 guys to eat deviled eggs and he really found them. I just wondered if he really got them with arguments or if the guys were just frightened to death. Never the less he was done and Felix was meant to be next. He got out his dare and read it aloud.

"Make a guy in the mall jealous" he read out "by just having eye contact with the girl"

He laughed and looked me deep in the eyes. His dark brown eyes concentrating on mine, reading my puzzled emotions. His stare was intense and I couldn't keep my eyes from staring at him. He noticed my reaction to his glance and winking at me, I blushed softly. Nathan obviously tensed right beside Felix and clenching his fist. I heard the paper in his hand rustle.

"Like this, right?" Felix asked Owen and turned to face both Owen and Nathan "I mean like this kind of eye contact?" he smiled at me and I noticed that Nathan's posture was still tense. I wondered if he really was jealous.

"I think you got it just right" Owen said and Felix went away. I stood there unsure of what just happened so I just smiled and turned away to face Felix. Nathan didn't move until Felix came back. He succeeded. Owen was feeling the pressure growing so he gave me another envelope.

"Dine with a team member in Claque" I read "and dash" I turned my card around.

"So who should it be, B?" Owen smiled at his own little joke and I grabbed Rachel's hand to walk her over the restaurant. Felix moaned and Nathan sighed loudly. I bet he was sad, that I took away that little…no.

"You are not taking any of the guys? Felix seems to hit on you badly" she babbled.

"Seems like that, doesn't it?" I just confirmed heated and ordered. I was not having that kind of small talk with her right now, not after all the flirting that was going on between her and Nathan, anyway.

As we ate we talked some lighter subjects, like the practice times and the routine.

"Okay come with me" I said and we both went for the bathroom. The waiter just glanced at us, but didn't expect anything suspicious. We should have turned right to get to the bathrooms, but we stormed left and outside the door. Laughing hard we reached our group and Owen showed us our getaway picture. I still was smiling as Nathan took his dare out.

"Go to a karaoke bar" he read "and sing" I laughed even harder. Nathan hated to sing. "with one of your team members" he added.

"Are you making fun of me, Davis?" he asked me and a smile appeared in his face. It seemed like his tension faded right there. Owen relaxed as well.

"Of course I do, Scott" I laughed and he grabbed Owen's shirt.

"You'll pay" he muttered "actually you will pay right now" he smirk and Owen shook his head.

They both were standing on the stage now, singing "Born in the USA". They even had a dancing routine, which I mostly missed, because of all the tears I had in my eyes from laughing this hard. Our table was the only one to applaud; I guess other guests were deaf by now.

"Oh, oh my favorite was the turn" I laughed as they sat down.

"Shut up" Nathan hissed but then laughed himself.

The anxiety was easing down and I almost felt a relief. If he wanted us to be friends, then maybe it could really work out.

We all drank the beer that was brought to our table and Rachel still laughed about their ridiculous performance.

"Oh tell me at least I looked hot" Nathan pouted and she just nodded.

"Okay I give you that" she smiled teasingly and I just took a really big gulp.

Felix took an envelope out again and smirked at me.

"You are into shopping, right?" he smirked and I nodded confused.

"Buy a top at Victoria Secret with a team member" he smiled at me "for you" he pouted in the end.

Nathan let out a sigh and I just got up.

"Sure, let's go" I smiled at Felix and looked back to face Nathan one last time, before we headed out.

"I don't know if that is your color or your size" I teased him as he showed me a red bra.

"I thought more about you trying this one on, while I make a clown out of myself" he raised his eyebrow.

"In your dreams" I said and he nodded.

"If you could only know" he smiled and I just bit my lip. He was obviously flirting with me and this was actually nice. No misunderstandings and no misleadings.

"What about that?" he asked and turned in a black v-top, that had glitter all over it.

"Amazing" I said and made a photo.

We came back to the group with laughter; Felix was holding my hip as he was trying to get the camera from my hand and the bag in my arm.

"Please you need to look at this" I screamed in laughter.

Nathan just grabbed the camera from my hand and I tensed. My smile vanished.

"This is really ridiculous" he said stiff and Owen gave me a dare. He wasn't enjoying this anymore; he was just preoccupied with not getting anyone killed out here.

"Get money out of the fountain with a team member" I read the first side of the dare. I wanted to get away from Nathan right now and was thankful for the opportunity.

"Come on" I ordered Felix and Owen just shook his head. I bet he wanted me to pick anyone else, but Felix was fun to hang with and he made me feel special, which was nice.

I was leaning into the fountain and gave him another quarter.

"It's 5 dollars" he smiled and helped me to my feet again.

"Now we need a photo booth" I showed him the backside.

"Make a photo in the photo booth" he grinned, took my hand and led me into the booth.

We started out innocent, just smiling in the camera, and then we made some grimaces.

"That's fun" I laughed.

"I guess Owen will kill me later, for that one" he said and leaned against me and just like that Felix kissed me as two other photos were made.

His lips touched mine with more power, than Nathan's did just days ago. His hands were on my back and in my hair. I kissed him back, because I was supposed to, but not really with feeling. My heart was beating like crazy and I needed to catch my breath soon.

He let go of me.

"Sorry" he whispered.

"Why do you apologize?" I asked.

"Well, you obviously are absentminded and I guess your thoughts are with Nathan" Felix smiled and my heartbeat was irregular again.

"Is that this obvious?" I asked.

"Just if you are blind, the way he gets jealous" he laughed "the way you tense around him, but you can't blame a guy for trying, right?" he asked.

"I guess no" I smiled "and you'll pay anyway with Owen taking care for me" I smirked and he held his chest.

"Will he really beat up a heartbroken jerk?" he joked and I laughed as took his hand and we walked out. My laughter stopped as I saw Nathan standing there with the strip in his hand and his face became as cold as a stone.


	9. Chapter 9

_Hey guys, please review, though I can't read it yet... I set my allerts so I get an email and can read your reviews anyway... It's just the more you review the more exited I get to write it, so lately I was really inspired... ^^_

"Private" I screamed at him and wanted to take the picture out of his hand. But he just pulled his hand away.

"Figured" he said cynically and his mouth formed a mocking smirk.

"Owen, give me the next dare" Nathan commanded.

"Maybe we should stop this?" Owen started. I was about to tell him that this probably was a good idea.

"Dare" Nathan pressed out once again and Owen gave him an envelope. Nathan opened it and a smirk escaped his lips. Not the gentle one, but his superior one and I saw Owen shake his head in regret. He obviously knew what was about to happen, but I wished I did. The time seemed to pass slower, because I saw Nathan's arm pull Rachel towards and his other putting her hair behind her ear. He slowly pulled her closer, so that their bodies seemed to melt into one. I felt my body become numb and my heart race. His lips touched hers and then I saw him open his mouth. I shrugged out of hurt and disgust. I saw his hands run down to grab her and pull her even closer. Eventually he let go of her and looked at me challenging. I tried to hide my feelings behind my poker face and he wasn't satisfied with that.

"Sorry O" Nathan said coolly "but I think I should cut this night short"

"Man, are you sure?" Owen asked and I could feel that he didn't want the night to end like this. He planned this to be about fun and now it was a lot of drama. He also glared at me and was obviously worried.

"Yeah, I think I better go" Nathan supposed and stared at me "I think I'm feeling sick" he pressed out.

My body trembled as I heard him say this. I concentrated on breathing in and out consequently.

"B?" Owen said and I just looked at him controlled and smiled. We were standing there in this big circle. I could have stayed, Owen would have brought me home and he would even offer a shoulder to cry on, but I knew what was about to come and I knew exactly that I couldn't escape this. I didn't want to put him in the position between me and Nathan as well.

"Sorry that we have to leave" I faked a smile "you know school and stuff" I looked for reasons to leave. My head refused to come up with decent excuses, but it was preoccupied with holding my poker face and breathing, so it was okay I guess.

Felix grunted and Owen starred him down, knowing that this probably wasn't helpful.

"Bye" Owen said "Drive safe" he addressed towards Nathan.

"Sure" the dark haired boy said and just waved them all off.

"Bye Brooke" Owen addressed me and I smiled at his afford.

Nathan's body bumped into mine as he harshly passed me. I got hold of myself again.

"I guess we are out than" I said noticing Owen's painful face as I turned around to follow Nathan. He didn't slow his pace until we finally made it to his car.

It took me a bit longer than him, because I wasn't running towards his car. I wasn't looking forward to the fight.

He turned around and looked at me tortured.

"Can you walk faster?" he asked unnerved.

I breathed out as I stopped.

"I don't see a rush" I said and I saw the photo strip still smashed in his fist. A shiver ran down my body.

"I want to go, so that's the rush" he stated gruff still facing his car.

We both breathed heavily. I tried hard to erase the image of him kissing Rachel and I bet he did the same with me and Felix, because his fist smashed the photo even harder. I didn't feel the cold, I could only tell it was terribly frosty by the way my breath showed itself when I breathed out.

"I don't get how…." I muttered. My voice was shaky and unstable.

"Let's get out of here" he blocked my sentence and put on a façade "I promised to drop you at your place" he said bitter. I couldn't get how he was able to be mad at me now. He was so cold and distant right now, but pretended to be caring about me. This made me sick.

"Don't play the nice guy, Nathan" I said and my voice broke, tears filling my eyes and I fought them back, with all my power "Just tell me what the hell is going on with you"

"Playing is more of your thing I guess" he spilled the words at me. These words were like knifes that were flying right at me and cutting me open.

"How do you mean that?" I asked hurt.

"Oh, you know, you seemed to be playing him well" Nathan hissed.

"Don't give me that attitude" I just shook my head. My eyes already were wet and I tensed my body, to not fall apart.

"I want to go" he said emotionless and pointed at the car.

I ran my hand through my hair out of desperation. I just knew that it was not a good idea to overplay this. I just didn't know what to do or to say.

"I'm not going anywhere with you" I just whispered. Tears were building themselves up again. "I rather take a cap or walk home, so stop"

"What do you expect of me Brooke?" he asked and moved closer. His eyes darted me down.

"Not to freak" I said confident now tightening my fists and stare him down "you don't have any reason to…"

"This" he showed me the strip "is not enough" it was just inches away from my head "huh?" he screamed at me.

His voice was filled with pain and hate as I wanted to turn away.

"So you didn't just kiss that bitch in there?" I just screamed back at him. Now that his rage reached me "you're a saint, I almost forgot"

He put his hands up and stepped two feet back.

"Sorry she wasn't a head cheerleader, but your guy was a benched player, so I guess I lived up to your standards" he said harsh and I couldn't believe he would say something like that to me.

"Jealous much?" I asked in anger now and he let out a bitter chuckle.

"Of your little boy toy? You wish" he scoffed. It became silent.

"And you weren't jealous in there, right?" he emphasized every word in his played calm voice.

"That doesn't matter" I just assumed and he laughed.

"Sure" he whispered and kicked a stone on the street until it flew away.

"You kissed him Brooke, you held him in your arms" he slowly said and didn't look up at me.

"I can still see it before my eyes" he whispered but I wasn't sure if he really just said it.

"I'm sorry if I hurt you" I said and he laughed arrogant again. He faced me and I could tell that he was chocking this information. He smashed the photo harder.

"You'll never be able to hurt me Davis" he smirked. And my whole body trembled again in anger. I just heard him say, he did just…

"I wouldn't hurt you" I just repeated

And he started to laugh "right"

"I never meant to" in a wobbly voice "I opened up to you, you moron"

"And I did not?" he screamed back at me. He was playing hard again, but I must have hurt him, after all he was standing here not in a better condition than I was in.

"Do you think I want to feel like this?" I said and tears were in my face "But you said it yourself, we are just friends" I ran my fingers through my hair. His face tensed again and he was speechless.

"Right, we are just friends" he said numb at me and I felt my heart fall apart slowly. He just said it in this calm and meaningful voice that I could feel my heart ache and my body tense.

"And that's good, you know" he walked closer. My body reacted vividly again and pain ran through my veins. I was surrounded with his smell and I could feel his warmth, so I backed off in reflex.

I looked up at him with tears in my eyes, which were unable to hide anymore.

"Why?" I exhaled.

He put his hand on my hair and softly ran over it.

"I could never fall for you" he said bitter "I could lie" he added calmly.

He could lie? I suffered hard. I felt my tears run down my face and my lower lip started to shake.

"But you are just one of many Brooke" he said "and you already broke your heart on me" he whispered and let his hand fall back.

"I am a player and I will not change it" he smiled softly and it almost killed me to see his smirk.

"So I have to tell you: I don't love you and I never will" he coldly pointed out and I could swear that his eyes as well became wet, but I probably just imagined that. I was covered in hurt and pain so I grabbed my stomach because it felt like I was falling apart.

Nathan already turned away from me and breathed heavy.

"I never said I would be able to fall for you" I whispered. I just couldn't stop myself.

"I mean you assume I already did, but I would never give my heart to a Scott ever again" I said cold now. I was feeling deaden. He wasn't looking back at me but stared at the sky. Maybe I just hit the right spot.

"Good for you" Nathan choked back at me after a while. He seemed to be as affected as I was.

"So this is goodbye" he said and I breathed out heavily.

"I guess" I whispered and Nathan opened the door of his car "have a nice cap drive" he said.

"Don't bother" I said angry and he shut the doorclose. I was breathing in and out slowly as he started the motor and drove away. There was nothing good about this goodbye. It was a big he said she said fight. And I was left behind, here alone in this I bet freeing night. I was not sure at how long I was standing there, alone, unable to move. His car was long gone and my tears already dried. My cheeks felt ice cold but I didn't bother to wipe the tears off. I didn't even feel them running down my face first. I just noticed it because I started to feel the wind dry them. My mind was focused on how he left me, things that he said and anger build up in me. I was falling apart because of him, and this was not the Brooke Davis that I used to be. I was loaded.

"You need a ride home?" a too familiar voice asked and I turned around and slapped her right into her face.

"Don't you dare to talk to me" I said and added "bitch" under my breath.

Rachel was holding her right cheek, the one I slapped and followed me anyways.

"God, do you really think I want to see you right now" I screamed at her and she stopped me.

"I deserved the bitch slap" she said calmly and looked at me sincere "and I know you are mad at me"

"Oh, you are not as dumb as you look" I bitched back at her and she laughed.

"Look, I kissed him, it was a moment thing, the moment is gone, can we move on?" she asked.

"How about: No" I said and looked at her with a death threatening glare.

"Fine" she said and put her hands up "Just tell me how you planned on getting home"

"Cap" I said arrogant and she laughed.

"Right, it's easy without any money" Rachel said and I noticed that I didn't get my bag from Nathan's car.

"I walk" I said stubborn.

"Get in the car, I drive you home" Rachel whispered "don't make a bigger deal out of it" she said and sat down in her jeep.

"You can hate me the whole way to Tree Hill and as long as you want after that" she whispered and I sat down as well.

We didn't talk at all; she just listened to some music and then asked me where I lived.

I closed the door, without a word and opened the door to my apartment to see Haley get her car key.

"I was about to pick you up" Haley muttered.

And I closed the door.


	10. Chapter 10

_**Hey guys, I have a problem with my laptop, which means I don't know when I can update again, but I try to get online as I did right now and share my new chapters with you! sorry ^^**_

_**HotShot23**__: You should probably drive to Duke and pick Brooke up_

_**TutorGir1**__: Why isn't she with you?_

_**HotShot23**__: Tell her I drop her bag tomorrow after school, she can be there or not I don't care_

_----HotShot23 is offline ----_

I read for the fifteenth time in the past few days. Of course I made sure I wasn't here as he dropped the bag up for me. Haley said he asked how I came home and left. I sighed and turned the laptop off before I went through my handbag and pulled out my cell and the keys. The fight was fresh on my mind. I could still feel the cold of his words and the pain that his glares caused.

Haley was already waiting for me at the door. She stood there in her cheer outfit and smiled at me. She was a real angel, with all her patience. At least a week passed since the big fight. Nathan and I didn't talk much. I just saw him in the hallway and ignored him as hard as I could. The only subject I couldn't ignore him in, was chemistry. There I already learned too much about his private life.

"_So she was really fine?" Tim asked him and he chuckled._

"_Better than that, she was all bendy and experienced" he smirked and I turned around just to make him stop talking. I already figured that he was wrapping himself into other girls, that's just who he was I guess._

"_Can you give me the number of that Ashley?" Tim asked him ignoring my stare._

"_Sure, I don't do a girl twice" Nathan said watching me carefully. I had to bite my tongue not to say_

"_If I could turn back time, I wouldn't even let you have me that one time". So I turned back to face my notes and calm myself._

I got up and smiled at Haley, I was the one driving, because I promised to her not to drink today, and she approved. Drinking was not a good idea after all that I was through in the past few weeks. We had a lot of pizza and movie nights lately, so she knew that I was again in my darker place, though I tried to overplay it.

"_And we should hit a grocery store, we're out of so many things lately…"Haley said "Brooke?"_

"_Hmm?" I looked up for the first time._

"_You thinking about him?" she asked and I just looked at her grocery list._

"_We need milk, I got it" I said and turned away again._

_She just sighed and continued._

I started the car and she put the radio on, she searched for some meaningless song and stopped as some pop song was announced, that hadn't the words: hate, love, fear and kiss in it.

"You did an amazing job with the routine" Haley told me and I knew she was trying to cheer me up.

"Thanks for helping" I had needed distraction anyway, so I concentrated twice as hard on this routine and Haley had to try the moves with me over and over again. Peyton and Lucas did break up just some days ago, but I didn't really care why they did, I just noticed that her whole style was back to normal. I looked at her as I stopped the car. Peyton was wearing her dark used jeans and her leather jacket again and her hair fell curly to her shoulders. Haley had spent her time nicely parted with me and Lucas, so I guess Peyton was the one who ended it, or who made the mistake during their relationship.

I got out of the car and waited for Haley.

"So you are really okay with heading to Bevin's after practice?" Haley asked me again. It was the third time she checked on it.

"Oh, Bevin's today" I said mockingly disappointed "I actually thought we could skip that"

"What?" Haley asked surprised "but I promised Lucas" she added and was thinking hard "I can find a compromise" she whispered.

"I was kidding" I laughed and she gave me a killing gaze.

"You know I could kill you while you sleep, right?" Haley mocked me back and we walked in. Nathan was shooting some free throws and I noticed that the gym was already half full with fans, parents and students. How could I walk into a gym full with people and recognize him immediately? Somewhere in the third row I saw someone waving at me.

"Owen" I screamed and ran up to him.

"How are you little B?" he asked and hugged me tight.

"I'm better on some days, but how are you?" I asked and his grin was concerned now. His brows tight and his eyes focused on mine.

"I'm really okay" I whispered and he nodded.

"Right" he said "I've missed having you around" he said and I agreed.

"That's how things developed" I just muttered and faced Nathan.

"He is going through a lot" Owen said in Nate's defense.

"A lot of girls, I've already heard that" I whispered and glanced back at him.

"You guys should talk" Owen just said in his brotherly voice and I shook my head.

"Nothing left to say" I smiled.

"You look nice in your cheer outfit" he smiled and I smirked. Owen leaned towards me to press me closer to him once again.

"I know" I said and Rachel came up to us.

"Hey" she interrupted us and I turned away from her.

"I need to go, O, I hope you can make it to Bevin's afterwards" I smiled and Rachel rolled her eyes as she followed me.

"You have to talk to me eventually" she said and I shook my head.

"At least about nothing except practice and routine" I said and she turned me around by grabbing my arm.

"You've been a bitch long enough, sorry I kissed your precious little guy over there" Rachel said and I was breathless "but you haven't been abstinent either… I mean with Felix" she shook her head.

"So would you please calm down?" she asked, but I wasn't sure if she was talking to me or herself now.

"Okay girls, let's gather" I said as I turned away from Rachel and she let a desperate sigh out and followed me.

The guys were in a really great shape, Nathan's and Luke's game was more aggressive than I remembered it to be. They even managed to play together for the first time since Lucas and Peyton were together. At halftime the team left and we performed our routine, which totally rocked. Huddle Formation was a really great song and Bevin even managed to stay on her feet and not to fall. The fans started to clap their hands to the song and I was happy. I missed this feeling already and now I had it back. The game started again and I wasn't concentrated: I just tensed as I had an image of Nathan being kissed by Rachel right there in the middle of the gym. She had her cheer uniform on and he just passed the ball randomly to his enemy just to pull her closer, I shook my head and tried to concentrate again. I looked up to Owen and noticed Felix beside him, he as well waved to me, and I waved back. Suddenly a voice broke this moment apart.

"Tim, ball" Nathan screamed and Tim passed the ball to him. Nathan stepped away and the ball and it hit Felix pretty hard. The ball bounced back and Nathan chuckled.

"My best move for today" he laughed and Tim joined, though Tim had no idea what the younger Scott was talking about.

Whitey started yell around but Nathan was only laughing. He turned to me and smirked. I couldn't believe he was doing that. It took me only one kiss, to turn him from the soft understanding guy, back to this. His stare was so full of challenge and I couldn't pretend not to notice, so I just smirked back at him and moved my pom poms mockingly to pretend that I was applauding. I turned away and faced my squad. I needed to preoccupy my mind with something else.

"Nathan looks hot, you know, maybe I should totally hook up with him tonight, I mean it can't get worse with you" Rachel told me in a turn of mine routine.

"Don't push me bitch" I said as I stopped her by her hand "I smacked your face once and I have no problem on doing it again"

Nathan watched us and I decided to let her hand fall down again. I punched it down so she felt the pain and heard Mouth announce that the tension in my squad was rising just as much as the tension in the game, Whitey was still screaming. This was not the time or the place for this. Haley pushed Rachel away, pretending to have the place right beside me in the routine.

I stood there watching and Nathan was talking to Whitey but watching me carefully. I couldn't stand his stare any longer, so I let my pom poms fall and walked out of the gym but seconds after I closed the door the buzzer was heard.

The crowd was already there and we were bumping into people as we made our way into the house. Gladly we had time to change and I looked at Haley again.

"Are you sure that this was the right choice?" I asked her and she nodded.

"Yes you look amazing" she smiled at me and I pulled on my pink top and looked down on my skirt.

They all stared at me and I already knew that my exit was probably dramatic and the tension between me and Nathan was probably not that secret anymore. I heard some of them whisper if Nathan's freak out had something to do with mine and I rolled my eyes. I should have controlled myself.

"Hey" Owen said behind me and I relaxed immediately.

"At least one decent person in this room" I sighed.

"Hey" Haley pouted.

"That I didn't bring here" I said punching her softly with my shoulder on hers and she smiled.

"Thanks, I'm gonna check on Luke" she said and left us alone.

"Why does she have to check on that jerk?" Owen wondered.

"He is her friend, and he broke up with his girl" I said and Owen nodded in acceptance of the reasons I gave him.

"You had a great fight going on in there" he said mockingly.

"I surely had" I rolled my eyes and put my hand on my forehead.

"Don't sweat it; Nathan had been a jerk too." Owen said and I nodded.

"How is Felix, by the way?" I asked.

"Cooling his eye, and regretting not to have listened to me" Owen added.

"Why did he come anyway?" I asked. Felix was pretty stupid to come here I noticed for the first time.

"He wanted to apologize" Owen looked to Rachel, who was standing downstairs and leaning against the door. She watched us first, but then turned away.

"But he already did" I assured him trying to focus on our conversation.

"Not to Nathan" Owen explained and I followed his glare, just to see Nathan lean towards the doorway that Rachel was standing in. I tensed and Owen put his arm around me.

"_Nathan looks hot, you know, maybe I should totally hook up with him tonight"_ rang in my ears.

"Excuse me" I said and pushed him away softly. I walked towards that door, near enough to hear them and started to mix me some non alcoholic cocktail.

"I was told to stay away from you" Rachel muttered and Nathan leaned in even closer.  
_"_Since when do you do what you're told?" he asked her with his eyebrows rising and she turned around to face him.  
_"_Since never", she smiled "Let me guess... you liked my last kiss so much you want another" she looked up at him and he started to lean in. I almost let my cup fall down.  
"See" she looked at him while he licked his lips "I kissed you, because let's face it the girl hurt you back then, kissing Felix and whatever" she said and pushed him away "but don't come to me and expect me to make her jealous by kissing you 's either stupid or naïve of you! I'm not into high school boys anyway"

"Bitch" he hissed and she laughed.

"Someone already called me that today…time for better insults" she said and went away.

I stood there shocked and watched Nathan leave as well.

"Hey" I said and sat down next to Rachel.

"Came here to slap me?" she asked "Because I really didn't do anything wrong today" and I shook my head.

"Thanks" I said and she turned to face me astonished. She was prepared to get her ass kicked and all she got was a thank you.

"Where did that came from?" she asked still in shock but now also in disbelief.

"I saw you talk to Nathan" I started and she just took a big gulp from her cup.

"Well I'm not into high school boys anyway" she muttered. And I pressed my lips together to let some seconds pass.

"Yeah, because you are more like into Owen" I smiled at her and she looked back at me in total shock again.

"I figured" I whispered and she just ignored me. I just noticed how she glared over to him, while she had this conversation with Nathan, eyeing the dark haired boy, sitting on the staircase. Sure she wanted to make Owen jealous and was regretting it by now.

"Whatever whore" she said and I just smiled at her.

"So can I offer you another drink?" I asked and she nodded as we headed back into the house.

"Brooke" Lucas noticed me and I stopped where I was.

I should have really better reflexes, I should become deaf when Nathan talked and run, when Lucas wanted to talk. Well, my reflexes already failed once I guess.

"You like to try Sympathy?" Rachel asked as she noticed my inability to move away from the blonde haired guy and I nodded.

"Hey" I crinkled my lip and looked at him. Rachel left without any further comment. He looked like hell. His eyes were tired and hurt and he didn't shave for at least 3 days.

"Can we talk?" he asked. My throat tightened and I could only nod. We went outside again and he led me into the gazebo. We stood there for a while in complete silence and I was sure that I had to give him time to break this silence.

"I wanted to tell you" he breathed in and out "no, actually" he started over.

"Brooke I hope you know how sorry I am about what I've done to you" he muttered and I looked up at him confused. It took him almost 3 months to come up with that? I thought the guy wanted to become an author, for that he sucked.

"That I cheated on you" he made sure I get the gist because I didn't answer for a while.

"Goldilocks had hit the sheets with someone else" I figured as I walked to lean against the table my face was ironic.

"That doesn't matter right now, I just wanted you…"

"Me to know?" I interrupted and he walked closer to me and nodded. I didn't flinch back, as I said bad reflexes, really.

"I was an idiot, Brooke" he said as he leaned in and pressed his lips against mine. His lips moved with mine in sync and I couldn't help myself but moan that's when I felt the warmth of his mouth and pressed him closer with my arms.


	11. Chapter 11

I pressed Lucas away and looked at him in disbelief. He just kissed me and what was worse I let him. My body trembled and I was shaky. I couldn't believe what just happened. I was unable to speak first and he looked at me tortured and unable to speak himself.

"This was the stupidest thing you could have done" breathed out at him in rage and he looked helpless at me. His eyes were searching for me. I started to cool myself down, I let him kiss me, so it was partly my fault.

"Peyton hurt you and you came here, to what Luke?" I asked "hurt me? Ease the pain? Whatever it was, I don't want to know" I said and collected myself a bit more, this wasn't whatI wanted to say. My eyes still felt wet and my face was stiff.

"Brooke, I was really stupid" he said and was leaning back at me. He wanted to kiss me and I almost closed my eyes again and let it happen. What was wrong with me?

"I think you still are" I said and my voice broke a bit as I stopped him finally getting the straight.

"I'm in a god damn circus" I shook my head and pushed him away again. My anger took over all the other feelings and pushed them aside. I just backed off some steps and tried to focus.

He followed me with his stare and I was unsure what to say. I was missing him, so I let him kiss me. He broke me and in a weird way I thought this kiss could maybe heal me and ease the pain Nathan caused me as well, but it couldn't. It would only cause me and Lucas more pain, I knew he loved Peyton, the blonde girl was still torturing him, her body colliding with someone else, even the thought was torture.

"I don't know what she' done Luke, but whatever it was" I tried to calm myself "go and talk to her, or hook up with a meaningless person" I reminded myself that this actually was what Nathan did and a shiver ran down my back "but don't come to me expecting me to welcome you with open arms" I just said and walked the steps back as he came closer.

"Please don't" I whispered and he backed off a bit. Lucas was standing there and muttered.

"She slept with Jake" he pressed out and I felt sorry for him. He shook his head.

"I don't know if I can forgive her" he added and looked worried at me.

"Get yourself together Lucas" I said and pressed my hand on his chest once again.

"You really look like you need to figure out what you want" I said and left him standing there.

I heard him mutter that he wants me and that he is sure of that now, but I knew better than that. He liked the idea of me. This probably was the only reason we got together in first place. I let the drunk Lucas stay in the gazibo and walked out.

Rachel was holding two cups in her hands and I took one and poured it down with one sip. I was just far enough gone to let my façade down. The alcohol burned my throat and I sighed. I kissed Lucas and it hurt, I felt something again, but it was worse than not feeling anything at all. I glimpsed at Nathan who was flirting with Theresa and rolled my eyes.

"Gosh, you are out of yourself" she whispered and I nodded. I hoped that the alcohol would soon hit me and I wouldn't feel anymore or anything. She offered me her cup and I took it as well.

"I need to walk" I said and went away "could you find Haley and tell her to find someone to get us home, because I just decided on drinking today" I muttered between gulps and Rachel nodded.

I walked passed Bevin and took a bottle of tequila out of her hand.

"Thanks" I said and she just walked away and after 20 seconds said "you're welcome" in a giggly voice.

I sat down on the beach and kicked my shoes off, to feel the sand between my toes and took a gulp from the tequila. I was watching the sky and the stars alone. Bevin lived close to Tim. As kids we used to play here a lot. Nathan and I ended up here, looking at clouds or playing in the water. Now I was drinking the pain away he and his brother caused me. This was kind of ironic.

"Here" Rachel held up a cup for me. I took a sip and noticed that it was just coke.

"Hey!" I screamed unsatisfied.

"Face it, there are problems alcohol probably won't fix" Rachel said and took the bottle away from me.

"At least you are better than that" she whispered and I looked up at her. She really meant this, but I didn't want to hear it right now.

"I was kissed by my ex and I let him kiss me" I exhaled. There it was I told it someone and now I could move on, right?

"Alright maybe you need another gulp" she offered me the bottle and I laughed.

"He just leaned in and kissed me and I…I let him. I don't know why I did it; it felt like I needed him so much. I couldn't let him into my heart again though. This kiss was like drug, I wanted it, though I knew that it would only make me feel worse afterwards" I explained and looked at her. I touched my lips with my finger. I could still feel Luke's lips pressed on mine.

"Just an hour ago, I could have ripped your head off" I said and took a gulp, maybe it would hit soon "and now I tell you about my life"

"Well, you like me that much" Rachel teased and I offered her the bottle.

"So, Owen… Does he know?" I asked.

"That I like him?" she laughed "well he knows that I sleep with him" she added bitterly taking a sip.

"He just doesn't know…"I started.

"You don't get it Brooke" she muttered "he loves me" she chuckled bitter. I wasn't sure if the alcohol was harder than I used it to be, or if I just really didn't get her I am so sad attitude yet. The guy loved her, she just said it herself.

"He just wants me to commit and to trust him, but I…"

"You can't?" I asked as I finally got the message and she nodded. Sure she was the female Nathan! My new friend was the female Nathan, awesome job.

"So he left me, he said he wants me to find out what I really want". Okay she probably wasn't quite the new Nathan.

"And did you?" I asked again and she took a big gulp again.

"I want him" she breathed out almost unbearable for me to hear.

So there we sat. I understood now, why Owen was this tense as Nathan kissed Rachel and I understood why Rachel let Nathan kiss her. How screwed up was the world?

I woke up hung over and unable to move myself anymore. The sun was blinding me and I wondered how I got in my pj's anyways. My throat was dry and I decided to get out of the bed. I remembered to have a really bad dream. I kissed my ex and had a decent talk with Rachel - it must have been a bad dream, right? I just shook my head and noticed the headache. I noted not to do this anymore, like ever. I stepped out of my room and silently walked to the kitchen.

"Hey" Rachel was sitting on the couch, covered with a blanket. Okay maybe my dream wasn't a dream after all. It was just so confusing and unreal that I still figured it was a very vivid dream.

"Hey" I muttered and got a big glass of water. After some sips I noticed that this wasn't my dream anymore, so Rachel was really sitting on my couch.

"What are you doing here?" I asked and Haley just walked out of the bathroom.

"You both were pretty drunk and Owen took care of drunken Nathan, so this made me stick with both of you" she rolled her eyes and brushed her hair.

"Oh" I said and had no excuses left.

Haley just looked at me and sat down on a chair near me.

"I heard from Lucas what happened, so I am not mad" she said and I let myself sink in the other chair.

"So we did?" I asked and my head hurt so much I had to grimace in pain.

"Yes, you kissed" Haley nodded and I gulped the glass of water empty. I almost wished it was tequila, because water really didn't help in that kind of situations.

"He feels like crap as well, if this helps" she offered.

"It doesn't" Lucas said and went out of Haley's bed. He was only wearing his boxers. I bet he didn't even noticed, because he wouldn't walk out like that if he had known.

"Did you?" Rachel looked at them shocked and I joined her glare.

"No, eww" Haley defended herself.

"Thanks" Lucas said and got himself a glass of water "That helps with the self-consciousness"

"No, I mean, actually yeah eeewww, you are like my brother" she said and I started to laugh, though my headache was killing me.

"Sorry I brought him over" Haley said and nervously played with her hair and I looked up at him.

"You are not going to kiss me again, are you?" I just asked and he looked uncomfortable.

"Sorry, I…" he started and I waved him off.

"I already figured" I said and he leaned closer to me.

"I feel like a total asshole, after all I put you through" he whispered and I just looked up at him "just promise me to clear the things before you walk out and kiss someone, especially if this someone is me" I said and he smiled painfully at me.

"Sorry" he mouthed and I smiled back.

"I figured" I tried to ease his guilt.

"Okay, it wasn't my best idea" Haley said.

"I would say it was one of the worst" Rachel agreed "and I even don't know you"

I smiled at Haley "You did okay, I'm not mad, after all I put you through…you deserve to slip once" I looked at Lucas "but next time…please don't let there be a next time" I added and Lucas grinned.

"I try" Haley said.

It knocked on the door, first I thought it was my head that was exploding, but after a while my head still was on my shoulders and the pounding sound didn't stop. I didn't want to move, but no one else did, so I got up and opened the door.

"Hey" Nathan said and I must have looked pretty sleepy or messed up.

"Did I wake you?" was suddenly followed by my appearance.

"No" I said and looked shocked to see him standing at the porch of my apartment. He was hung over as well, so I wondered what he wanted.

"Can we talk?" he asked as if he could read my mind. This phrase shocked me even more, maybe Owen got to him after all and this would explain all the weirdness between us.

"Sure" I whispered and walked back in.

"I need my sweater" I said and Lucas handed me his.

"Thanks" I smiled and walked back. I silently closed the door and stepped towards Nathan. I put the sweater on and noticed that it looked like I was wearing nothing else.

"You wanted to talk" I said and he watched me for some seconds. My weird thoughts came back to his propose to talk and I concentrated on his eyes.

"Actually, never mind" Nathan said suddenly his eyes were worried somehow but then again friendly. He smiled at me before he turned around and started to go away.

I walked after him.

"You just changed your mind?" I asked him. I couldn't understand what just happened.

"Yes" he said and didn't turn back "just pretend I never stepped by" he suggested and I couldn't believe he really meant that.

"But you did" I said and he smirked.

"Go be happy Brooke" he whispered again and left.

I stopped confused. I was lost now; he came over to talk and changed his mind this quickly.

I stayed where I was and watched him leave. I bit my lip and heard him start his car. The car drove away and I was left behind. Flash back, from our fight haunted me and I couldn't believe he left me here again with no explanation, but I wasn't ready to get back inside yet, so I stayed where I was.


	12. Chapter 12

Once again I wasn't sure about why Nathan came to talk to me or why he left. On Monday he wasn't in school and I was worried, but Rachel told me that he was out with the boys on a guy's weekend as they all thought that they needed some away time.

"Where did they go?" I asked and Rachel smiled at me.

"Car racing in Charlotte" she whispered and I rolled my eyes.

They needed some away time could be easily translated in: Nathan hated to be around me that much, that he wanted to skip town, but decided to take some buddies with him.

"Owen is gone too?" I asked and she nodded.

"Along with John and Smith" she said and looked at me "They are decent guys, except Smith, he is a player, but other than that…" she added insecurely.

They were in Charlotte visiting his uncle Cooper, who just happened to have a racing station there, which he owned by the way along with racing cars, how convenient.

"So, what do you guys think about a girl's night out?" I asked and Haley looked down ashamed.

"I promised Lucas to go to the movies with him" she whispered.

"It's okay" I told her honestly and she sighed in relief.

"Party night it is" Rachel smiled "Buy me two cocktails and I am in"

"Deal" I smiled.

"Nathan isn't the only one who knows how to shake off the stress" I said and noticed how wrong it sounded.

"I said it this aloud, didn't I?" I asked and the girls burst out in laughter.

Rachel came over and we decided to get ready for the party together, she was wearing a black tank top and a short skirt as I opened the door. She looked at me with a big smile on her face and showed me a bottle of champagne.

"I thought that might be just the right start, for our girl's night out" she said and walked in.

"Good thinking" I smiled and let the door fall shut.

"Owen mailed, they are okay" she said as a matter of fact.

"Good" I whispered "that's sweet of him, right?"

"I need some distraction today" she just said instead of an answer and handed me a fake ID.

"Oh" I smiled "thanks".

"Won't you get ready?" Rachel asked and took two glasses and filled them with champagne.

I walked in and changed as I walked out she handed me a glass.

"Here's to the night" she said and we both drank.

"Change the jeans into a skirt and we are ready to go" Rachel said and I hesitated for a moment.

"Come on the red halter top, totally great, but ruined with the jeans."

I thought about it, and came out in a red and golden dress, that was pretty short.

"That's it" she smiled.

"I know" I grinned and we drank another glass, before we headed out of town.

The club was pretty cool and the security guy didn't even ask for my ID. Rachel and I went in and I could see a lot of guys checking us out.

"This is the place to go, when you feel down" Rachel smirked at me.

"Seems like that" I grinned at some guy that toasted towards me.

"This club is mostly filled with guys during the week" she winked at me and we headed the bar.

"Two 'sex on the beach'" she said in her seductive voice and the barkeeper licked his lips.

Okay it seemed like all this guys were extremely delighted to see some girls. I looked around and noticed that Rachel was right, there were maybe 20 other girls in this club and at least 3 time so many men.

"Hey" two guys stepped to us and paid the barkeeper "drinks on us"

"Hey" Rachel turned around and smirked at them.

One was a blonde guy with brown eyes. He was taller than the other and his abs were amazing. The other was shorter and had brown hair and green eyes. He was not much shorter but had a cutter smile. I grinned at Rachel. She was a genius to bring us here.

"Rachel and Brooke" my red headed friend told the guys and they smiled.

"Josh and Pete" they said and led us to their table.

Josh was walking with me.

"Sorry about my friend, he is fast like that sometimes" the cute dark haired boy smiled.

"Don't worry" I whispered back and heard a great song.

"You want to dance?" he asked as he saw my face expression.

My face enlightened and I nodded.

"We'll be right back" I told Rachel and she winked at me.

Josh and I headed to the dance floor and started to dance. First we were just dancing, but then he put his hands on my hip and moved me closer. The song was slow but had a great beat. His hands were warm on my sides as he moved me slow to the beat. I could look into his green eyes never leaving mine out of his sight. I teased him with my stares during the lyrics and he laughed softly.

The song ended and I smiled at him. He was leaning closer and pulling me closer with his hands as my phone rang.

"Damn" I said and looked at the incoming number. He laughed at my comment.

Owen.

"Excuse me" I said and went outside to get better reception.

"Hey" I said as I finally could pick up.

"Brooke?" Owen asked. His voice was worried and he seemed nervous.

"What's wrong?" I asked, by now I could already tell that something was wrong, badly wrong. And then it felt like the time slowed down because I heard him confirm my presentiment.

"Nathan is in the hospital, he's unconscious" I heard him say and then it was like his voice trailed away. I heard him say something about Charlotte Saint Grace and about Nathan being in real bad condition after his accident. He also mentioned something about not being sure if I wanted to know, but that he thought it was the right thing to call me. Nathan was in a hospital unconscious. This was actually all I needed to know.

"Brooke?" Owen asked and I noticed that I didn't say a word since he started.

"I'll be right there" I said and Owen was babbling something about picking me up.

"No, it's okay" I said "thanks Owen" I closed my phone. It took me a moment to decide on how to proceed from now on. I looked around in shock and then walked in again. Josh was still smiling at me and I couldn't even fake a smile.

Rachel looked worried at me.

"Nathan is in a hospital" I told her and ran my hand through my hair. She got up and pushed Pete, who was sucking her neck away.

"Sorry guys, we need to go" she just said and grabbed her purse.

I followed her back to the car and my mind wasn't still working. Nathan was in a hospital.

Rachel was driving much faster than it was allowed but neither of us cared. I recognized some of the houses.

"Why are we in Tree Hill?" I asked shocked. Again I was silent the whole 20 minutes drive, well, probably this time it was about half as short.

"You need your stuff and I need a description to the hospital she said and let me out. I told her all I could remember about Owen's call as I packed my bag.

"I pack some things for you too" I whispered as I heard that something was printed.

"You can have a guest toothbrush" I said and went to the bathroom.

As we finally got there I was shaking. The whole ride Rachel explained to me that everything will be okay and I nodded every now and then, but her voice seemed so far away right there. My whole feelings were so distant. As we drove I could see the lights fly around, but I couldn't say where they came from.

"He'll be alright" Rachel whispered and laid her hand on my shoulder.

"I'm worried" I muttered and she nodded.

"I know" she finally stopped the car and I got out. She took the bag out of my hands as we walked towards the hospital entrance. Owen was standing there waiting for us.

"You made it" he said in relief.

"How is he?" I asked and he pulled me into a hug.

"Unstable" he muttered and I sobbed a bit before I collected myself again.

"His parents are here and his uncle" Owen explained as he also greeted Rachel.

We followed him to the ICU. Dan was yelling at Cooper and Deb was trying to tear them all apart. Cooper looked like hell and Deb seemed to have cried already. Dan screamed that Cooper was a unreliable asshole and the nurses tensed in this room.

Deb noticed me and walked towards.

"I came as soon as I heard" I said and she pulled me into a hug. I felt so sorry for her.

"We're here since an hour" she whispered and turned back to face Dan and Cooper.

"You've seen him?" I asked and she shook her head in regret.

"Should I get you something to drink?" I asked and she nodded thankfully.

"Could you take Cooper with you?" she asked and I nodded.

We walked to the coffee machine in silence. I pushed the first order and looked up at Nathan's uncle.

"What happened?" I asked.

Cooper hesitated for a moment but then faced me.

"He hit the wall" he explained "he hit the wall at full speed" he repeated again and sighed.

"How?" I asked and Cooper looked down again.

"He wasn't listening" he just said as if it all was his fault. I put my hand on his shoulder.

"He'll be fine, he will get up and kick your ass for that" I smiled softly. I wasn't sure if I tried to make Coop feel better or myself. We took all the cups and walked back to the waiting room.

"I'm glad you came, giving your history" he said and I tensed.

"He told you?" I asked and Cooper nodded softly.

"I never meant" I whispered and he nodded again.

"I know"

Deb took some cups from us and I gave the other to Owen and Rachel. A doctor walked in and said that the parents could visit him now, though he was still unconscious. Deb and Dan left. Owen put his arm around me and I was still tense. We could only wait. Deb and Dan walked out and we all looked up.

"He seems to be stable for the night" Deb said "the doctor said that Nathan won't be conscious until morning, maybe not even than" she said and Dan was picking up his cell and made some arrangements with some hotels.

Deb walked to me.

"I made an arrangement, you can go in now" she said and I looked puzzled.

"I…" I wanted to say something, but Owen pushed me towards the room "thanks" I mouthed and walked into the room.

Nathan was lying there in a blue patient robe. His eyes were closed and swollen, his lip was bruised and he had a bandage around his left arm. From his right some wires were leading to monitors. I looked at them and saw that his heart was beating regularly and smiled. A nurse walked in and smiled at me.

"You can get closer, you won't be able to hurt him" she said and I looked unsure but stepped towards.

"Sometimes it helps if people talk to them, I already explained it to his mother" the nurse said "but she muttered something about not being able to"

She pointed to the chair beside the bed and I sat down. I took his hand between my palms and she smiled in agreement. I sat there for a while and Deb entered.

"Dan and I were supposed to talk to him, but I don't think we would help" she said "he asked for emancipation from us, so I don't think we can bring him back" she said and tears were in her eyes.

"Sorry" I whispered and she wiped her tears away.

"That's why I asked them to allow you in" she whispered and gave me a blanket.

She left without any further words. I watched the nurse get out and concentrated on Nathan again.


	13. Chapter 13

I watched Nathan carefully. His chest pushed up and down with every breath, but except that he didn't move at all. I tightened my grip around his hand.

"Come on" I whispered "wake up" I said softly. I remembered the last time I tried to wake him.

"_Time to rise and shine" I whispered as I carefully put my hand on his cheek. His skin was all warm and soft. He just moaned in reaction. I stroke his cheek once again, he looked so peaceful that I almost didn't want to wake him, I just wanted to go back to sleep in his arms, but Owen shouldn't have to tidy up by himself, so I decided to change my tactics._

"_Nathan Royal Scott" I said more loudly "If you don't get up…" I guessed his mum often used that line to get him out of bed._

"_Come on Nathan" I whispered and put my hand on his chest to caress it "get up" I pouted and I saw him grin._

"_Ha, it's working" I smiled proudly and he opened his eyes._

It wouldn't work now though, I thought to myself and squeezed his hand once again. The nurse came back and told me that she had to change his duvet cover. I leaned towards him and whispered "I'll be right back".

The nurse smiled at me and I came out in the waiting room just to find Rachel sleep on Owen's shoulder and Cooper with closed eyes, I wasn't sure if he was sleeping though. Owen looked up at me and slowly positioned Rachel's head on Cooper.

"How are you?" he asked and I just shrugged. We walked towards the coffee machine.

"Maybe you should get some rest" Owen said as I pressed the button for a black coffee.

"I couldn't" I whispered.

We waited in silence again and I was lost in my thoughts… after a while I looked up at him again.

"How did he hit the wall?" I asked. Nathan was a great racer, Cooper was always proud of his nephew. Nate started to prepare to race cars since he turned 13, on this very birthday Cooper invited him over and let him practice on a broke down car. Which basically was a piece of dump, but Nathan could learn what buttons to push and how to drive anyway.

"We don't know, he probably lost control of the wheel, he was lost in his thoughts since some weeks already" Owen muttered and I sighed.

"He came to talk to me on the day you guys left" I whispered and Owen tensed.

"So you know why he was acting that weird?" he asked relieved and I shook my head.

"He left before he could tell me" I said and my voice was broken.

"Yeah, I remember" Owen whispered and he looked like he would know so much more than I did.

"What?" I asked and he just looked away.

"It's a thing between the two of you" he said and I sighed. Of course Owen wouldn't explain to me what led to these charming circumstances that I found myself and Nathan in.

"Does Lucas know where you are?" he just asked and I tensed.

"Why should he?" I wondered and Owen tensed as well. He just noticed that he had said too much.

"Owen" I insisted.

"Well, Nathan figured" he whispered and that's when it hit me.

Nathan had seen a half naked Lucas in my apartment and me in his sweater.

"Idiot" I said and Owen looked offended.

"Not you" I waved him off.

"Brooke, what was he supposed to think, he saw the kiss and then he found you guys barely dressed in your apartment" Owen explained and bit his tongue as he noticed that he was saying too much.

"He saw the kiss?" I said and my body shrugged vividly as I pictured Nathan watching us.

"And after what Lucas…" Owen added disappointed.

"What Lucas… What?" I was confused how Lucas was playing a role in this now.

"I mean I am glad if you are happy now" Owen explained and I laughed.

"I'm not with Lucas" I said and he looked surprised.

"This kiss" I tensed again as I remembered it "was a mistake it was…him feeling bad for himself and me…feeling nothing"

Owen and I stood there in silence again and he shook his head.

"You guys should really talk" he stated.

"I guess you might be right, I didn't know" I whispered.

"Damn Brooke, you just get all the information out of me, because I like you a lot and I don't want you to suffer"

I smiled softly at him.

"See I was as messed up as Nathan in High School, and you mean so much to him, I don't want him to ruin it, like I did" he said and I touched his arm with my hand.

"You're such a softy under all this muscles" I laughed.

"Shut up" he said and I took my coffee out.

"You need to eat something" Owen insisted and bought me chips and a chocolate bar and one for Rachel.

"Are you ready to talk to her yet?" I asked and he looked at the sleeping girl and smiled.

"I wish she would just open up some more to me" he said sad and looked at me "She called me when we left and I asked her if she could commit yet, but she said no"

I sighed "give her time".

He sat down again and smiled at me. Owen suffered obviously. I smiled softly as I left him for Nathan.

"Hey you" I said as I sat down beside his bed again.

He didn't move and his hair was all sticky on his forehead, so I brushed away his hair. I caressed his hair and smiled softly.

"You really need to talk to me as soon as you get up" I whispered and he didn't move. It was hard to keep talking to him and knowing he couldn't hear me or wouldn't answer but I kept going. I told him about his parents and explained why they weren't here. I also told him how proud I was that he managed to get emancipated. After a while I started to tell him which movies he needed to see or which games he couldn't miss.

"And The Pirates is the team with the cheerleader squad that always wins the tournament. I at least could always tell them off, by explaining that I at least cheer for the winning team. And I need you to play, because we can win then and I like to see her eyes all jealous" I whispered unable to move my mouth anymore. My eyes felt heavy and almost felt close. I squeezed his hand in my palms and closed my eyes just for a second. The next time I opened my eyes the sun was up and a nurse tried to change a wire on Nathan's other hand.

"I didn't want to wake you" she whispered and I looked up at the clock. I slept 2 hours straight.

"Did he?" I asked and she shook her head in regret.

"We need you to leave when the doctor comes" she said and we both looked at the door. A handsome doctor walked in and I greeted him, before I walked out with my bag. Rachel was still sleeping on Cooper's shoulder and Owen fell asleep after all. I sneaked into the bath and brushed my teeth and changed my outfit into a jeans and a pink top. I already forgot that I still had my party dress on. I also brushed my hair out and was ready to go back inside.

"He is stable" the doctor said as he walked out of the room and saw me.

"You don't have to worry! He has no further internal bleedings".

I looked up relieved but partly shocked. Nathan had had internal bleedings.

"The surgery went well" the doc said again and I looked up. I already figured that he had a surgery I just wasn't sure why. Now I knew and the doctor smiled softly.

"It's good that you keep him company" he encouraged me and I smiled back. Then he left and I walked back in.

Nathan was moved a bit, because his position changed but his eyes were still closed and his breathing was even. I wondered if his parents would be here soon and put my hand on his. It killed me slowly to see him like this. I noticed a tear roll down my cheek and wiped it again.

"See what you do to me?" I asked him.

"Clever of you not to answer" I said and held his hand with mine as I sat back down and looked at the monitors.

"See your heart frequency is stable and your heart decided to pump more blood in your system" I told him as I watched all the different charts the machine showed.

"And this is good" I whispered "Just promise me to open your beautiful blue eyes"

He still didn't move and I leaned down and placed a kiss on his hand.

"Do it for me, okay?" I asked.

"Brooke" I heard him breathe out. His voice was scratchy and his throat seemed to be dry. I looked up at him and noticed his eyes blink.

"Nathan" I said relieved and put my arms around his body "you're awake" I whispered between sobs.

"Yeah" he winced in pain and I let go of him immediately.

"Sorry" I said and walked two steps away from his bed.

"Water" he said and I turned around to get him a glass. I held it towards his mouth and let him drink it up. As he was finished I put the glass away and looked for the door.

"I check if your parents are…" I stopped "awake now" I lied and he watched me carefully.

"Don't" he whispered and I bit my lip.

"I really should, check on them and call a nurse" he slowly moved his hand to touch mine.

"Don't" he whispered again and I felt his warmth on my hand and shook my head softly.

"We call the nurse and check on your parents and then I promise to stay with you, okay?" I whispered and he nodded softly.

"Promise" he repeated and I nodded once again before I pushed the button to call the nurse and got up as she went in.

"He's…"I started but she noticed.

"awake" she added and started to examine his pulse and his blood pressure.

I walked out and breathed out heavily. I was so glad that he was awake finally, but I wasn't sure if he wanted to see me beside his bed. I hated that we had a fight.

"He is awake" I told Owen, Rachel and Cooper who were sitting up. Deb and Dan walked in and Deb smiled at me and hugged me once again.

"Thank you" she muttered and Dan walked towards the patient room as the rest followed.

"He shouldn't see too many people right now" the nurse said preoccupied and Deb and Dan walked in. The rest of us were standing there and after a while they came back. Deb looked at me.

"He wants to see you" she said kindly and I looked at Owen and Cooper.

"Maybe they should get in first" I suggested and Dan just nodded.

Cooper and Owen walked in and Rachel stayed back with me.

"What's wrong B, why aren't you going in?" she asked and offered me half a chocolate bar.

"I'm afraid" I said and she nodded as she put her arm around me.

"It was easy to talk to him, when he couldn't hear me" I started again.


	14. Chapter 14

„Hey" I whispered as I opened the door and stepped in again. I felt really insecure to be in his room and he just looked up at me.

"I wondered where you…" he made a grimace as his throat hurt. He took a glass of water and poured it down.

"I just thought that, the others should have a chance to see you" I explained to stop him from talking.

"You promised" he said and looked away from me as if he could sense my pretext.

"I did" I agreed and walked over to my favorite chair in this room. Or the chair I got used to.

"I'm sorry" I added and he slowly turned back to me.

"What happened in the car, Nate?" I asked and he didn't turn back to me. I needed to know how he lost control in that car and there was no better way to find out, than to ask him straight.

"I hit the wall" he whispered. He said it as if he didn't cared about it at all. Like hitting the wall was unavoidable. That it was just how these races were.

"I know, but how could you lose control of the wheel?" I wouldn't let him off the hook that easily.

"I was lost in thoughts" he whispered and I wondered what thoughts these might have been. His face became cold again. He tried to avoid my glare; I put my hand on his cheek. It was almost out of reflex and caressed it softly.

"What did you think about?" I asked and he just watched me with pleading eyes.

"Don't" he whispered. I let my hand fall down again and he closed his eyes in pain.

I stood up, ready to leave his room.

"Stay" he muttered "stay with me, even if you can't…for any reason… stay, just stay" he whimpered and I turned around and was unable to deny this wish for him. I just nodded and came back to my chair. He got up a bit and his face was screaming in pain as he moved aside to make room for me. He was holding his side as if he would fall apart if he didn't. His eyes went to the spot beside him and I hesitated.

"Please" he whispered and I took off my shoes and lay down beside him. It was weird to stay there in his little bed, but I wanted him to rest.

"Thank you" he smiled softly and closed his eyes.

After a while I heard him mutter my name and thanking me for bringing him back. Tears build up in my eyes and I dried them with my arm. I was tired and worn out so after I looked at him for a bit longer I closed my eyes and fell asleep beside him.

The nurse woke me up and smiled softly. I had my head in Nathan's chest and his arm was around my body.

"Sorry to wake you" the nurse whispered as if not to wake him "but we need to get some examinations done" I stiffened in Nathan's arm and the nurse smiled softly.

"It's a routine examination" she explained my tension was gone.

"Nathan" I whispered and he opened his eyes slowly glancing at me.

"They need to make some examinations" I whispered and got up. I was ashamed that the nurse walked in on us like that. He nodded and turned around to face the woman. I smiled and watched the nurse help him up and sit him down in a wheeling chair. He was too weak to walk by himself right now.

"Thank you" he said in his low and sleepy voice as he was rolled in front of me. I could only nod. So I watched him leave and went with them to the waiting room.

"I'll be here" I muttered to him and he nodded thankfully. The nurse pushed the wheel chair away and I started to cry. Being near Nathan was unbearable right now. I was reminded that he could never love me and I wondered if things would go back to the way they were in the past few weeks. I was afraid of this.

Owen came over and put me in a hug. We didn't speak but he let me cry all the tears out and collect myself. Rachel was standing behind him and ran her hand through my hair.

I sobbed a bit when Nathan came back and turned away to get a tissue from my red haired friend. I was just so loaded with emotions.

"Your girlfriend never leaves your side, but she is not the only one. I would say you are pretty lucky. See your friends never leave you as well" the nice lady said. She was maybe in her mid thirties and was really polite. I turned back after I wiped the last tears and heard Owen say.

"Of course we are man" he smirked and Nathan smiled.

"Sorry I put you all through this" he said and I turned around to offer him a comforting smile. I felt like I had collected myself enough.

"Your girlfriend was at your bed all night, and she never even closed her eyes" the nurse said and he looked at me and smiled. I could have sworn that he liked the sound of it.

"Thanks" he said and I decided not to point out that we were just friends.

"It's only another day and you can go home and sleep in a normal bed" the nurse said and Nathan seemed preoccupied now.

"You can stay at my place" Owen reminded him and I looked confused.

"Emancipation" Nathan muttered. I almost had forgotten that.

"Oh" I let out and the nurse looked at me with a smile as she left.

"Sorry about that" Nathan looked back at the nurse "the girlfriend thing wasn't appropriate. I just decided to let her talk" he added.

"It's okay" I smiled softly at him, though it did hurt to hear her refer to me like that and knowing that it was just not how Nathan saw me.

"Does Luke know where you are?" Nathan muttered and I looked confused.

"I should get you water and maybe something else to eat, hospital food sucks" Owen said, grabbed Rachel's arm and they left. Nathan was still focused on me and I hesitated.

"I didn't tell him, I didn't know you wanted to see him" I figured that Nathan probably wanted to see his brother, though they have been through a lot lately. But Nathan laughed.

"Actually I thought since he is you new…" he stopped and looked up at me. I guess he wasn't sure after all if he wanted to know.

"No" I said in shock. Lucas and me together again, that would have been insane.

"But I saw you kiss him" Nathan said and I sat down on a chair so that we were on the same eye-level.

"I didn't know you did" my voice filled with regret "it was a moment thing" I whispered "it didn't mean anything"

I remembered why I kissed Lucas and I still couldn't believe that I had.

"But he was in your apartment" Nathan said muttered bitter "half naked".

"Yeah he stayed over, because he was wasted and Haley told him he can crash" I said and smiled as I noticed the way he was relieved by my explanation and the way he pressed "naked" out.

"Jealous? You really are jealous, aren't you?" I asked now that I have figured why he left that day. It seemed so ridiculous that I didn't figured it yet.

"I…" he laughed uncomfortable, as if afraid that I caught him "no"

I bit my lip and he smiled softly.

"Maybe I concluded wrong" he said a bit ashamed.

"This won't happen anymore, anyways" I shook my head.

"Me getting the wrong gist?" he tried to ease the mood.

"No, him staying over like that" I explained.

"How do you know?"

"She will be gone for a tour, she told me that a singer Chris Keller heard her demo and now he wants her for his tour" I said and he looked up at me. His eyes focused on mine.

"So nothing happened?" he clarified and I shook my head.

"You shouldn't care though, remember: Friends" I said and he flinched away from my stare. I didn't mean to hurt him there; I just tried to understand why he was jealous.

"But I do" he whispered and I tensed. I had troubles to concentrate on this one. Maybe he was just jealous of Lucas because they were rivals since they were able to walk.

"Nathan you said we are friends, right?" I whispered back.

"Brooke, I am not the guy for you. I am dating any girl, or better I go through girls and break their hearts, that's what I do" he looked at me "that's who I am" he said regretful.

I had to swallow in desperation. I was just one of those girls obviously.

"I lied" he whispered at me and I looked confused.

"I said I couldn't love you, so you could have gone on with your life and I could go on with mine. I wanted to set you free." He tensed and looked me deep in my eyes. His blue eyes focused on me.

"I told myself I won't miss you, but every time I saw you I remembered how it was to be with you, to kiss you, to touch your hair, to smell your strawberry lip-gloss" I listened to him and was unable to say anything or to move just an inch "But I knew that you deserved someone better than me" he said and took my hand "because I really could fall for you, deeper than ever before and it scared me. It scares me that I knew that there were a lot of guys waiting to show you how they are better than me. And I already was falling for you, opening up to you and I was scared that once you found out that I am who I am, you would go away and search for someone who deserves you. You would leave me with nothing but the memory of you and me. So I just lied when I said that I couldn't love you, because I knew I wasn't good enough to deserve you"

Tears were running down my face and I couldn't stop myself.

"You were the reason that I am alive" he said and I felt my under lip shaking "I wanted to come back here and tell you all this, just so that you would know"

I stopped his talk and kissed him.

"Shut up, you're an idiot" I said against his lips.

He kissed me passionately and didn't let go for a long time.

"If this is a dream…" he said after we let go and I kissed him once again.

"It isn't" I smiled. He pulled me closer and I felt my tears drop on my arm. He hugged me. After a while I moved away and looked at him.

"Don't you ever dare to decide whom I deserve and who is wrong for me" I said after we both calmed down a bit.

"I mean you are a player, you wrapped yourself with other girls, while you tried to forget me, right?" I asked and he starred down ashamed.

"Maybe that's who you like to be, because it is easy and let's face it more fun to be, but you just showed me who you really are" I leaned closer "or at least another part of you. Maybe you are the right kind of wrong"

He looked up in shock.

"But you said that you wanted to be just friends" he was confused now.

"Because I heard you use this phrase just the day before, and I wanted to be a friend if that was what you needed, but not because I felt like we could be friends…" I explained and he silent.

"I was broken, Nathan, I was broken about how things went from there" I said and looked up at him. He took my face in his hand and pulled it closer so he could kiss my tear, which started to fall down away.

"I'm sorry" he whispered and I took his hand in mine.

"I know" I whispered and he smiled.

I was holding his hand and we were talking about the past few days as Owen came back holding two sandwiches at us.

"Finally, they got over the drama" he smiled at us and I gave him a bitchy look. Rachel laughed at my face expression.

"Who said he is forgiven?" I asked and Nathan looked up in alarm.

"I am not?" he asked.

"No you are not, yet" I emphasized on the last word.


	15. Chapter 15

„And Owen, you can't take him because?" I asked as Nathan went into my apartment and Owen brought his bag in. The guy just called me telling me that Nathan had to crush at my place because their arrangement wasn't working out. Knowing that Owen was totally rooting for me and Nathan, I figured he would try to set us up with all his might.

"College rules" Owen said a bit too fast. I guess he didn't plan this lie through.

"Sure, but you didn't figure that since now?" I asked again and Nathan laughed. I guess he felt that we were set up as well as I did. His face expression was satisfied though.

"Yes" Owen said and I sat down beside Nathan on my couch. Nathan would sleep here until Haley moved out and then he could have Haley's room, at least that's how Owen explained it to me. Nathan chuckled as I rolled my eyes at Owen.

"Not that I don't like you being here, but it feels like a setup" I said as I noticed how harsh I might seem and Owen rolled his eyes back at me.

"You will like it though" he smirked at us and was about to leave as he picked up a flyer.

"Haley James first gig at TRIC" he read aloud. He searched so badly for an opportunity to change the subject.

"Shut up" my friend said as she went out of her room, her hands were shaking and she seemed nervous. She took the flyer from Owen's hand and looked at it.

"Maybe she is not, maybe she will hide behind a desk and let someone else sing" she said and her voice was higher than usual and she breathed irregular.

"Calm, down tutor girl, you'll rock them" I said and she stared me down until I was quiet again.

"Nice to see you Nathan" Haley smiled at the dark haired boy beside me and exhaled as to ease her panic. She put the flyer away and concentrated on him. She was standing there, still shacking and he just smirked back.

"Sorry to be a burden" he said and she glared at me thankful that she could concentrate on something else now, namely me.

"You'll be hers anyway, I mean her burden" she teased and I could only retour a "ha" and two risen eyebrows.

"Anyway I would be glad if you could come today, to see some familiar faces would be nice, but I get it if you want to stay in bed all day and night" she said and I couldn't believe she was still teasing me "I mean Nathan is still in bad shape and stuff" she laughed and Nathan joined her.

"We are here as friends, nothing else…" I said and got up.

"Friends with potential" Owen interrupted.

"That's what you told me, right?" Nathan teased me.

"Shut up" I groused and he took my hand.

"You should really relax" Nathan muttered at me and I turned around with an evil glare.

"You should really be quite or I kick your ass out of here before you can say Brooke I am sorry" I threatened him.

"You wouldn't kick an ill and unstable guy out" he pouted at me and my face softened.

"You really want to go this far to find out?" I asked.

Owen was laughing and elbowed Haley.

"I guess you will have an entertaining time" he whispered.

"I guess you might be right" she agreed.

"Anyway" I changed the subject "of course I will watch my friend's first big gig" I said and Nathan nodded.

"I will join as well, if you don't mind" Owen added.

"Yeah, sure, this would be great. You should totally bring Rachel along" Haley suggested and Owen tensed a bit.

"I guess" he tried to grin. Things were the same between the both of them.

"Come on Rachel is part of this gang" I said and he rolled his eyes.

"And you say that?" he teased.

"Yes" I smirked at him "Ill boy over here promised not to kiss that bitch anymore and you finally could". Nathan squeezed my hand as I preferred to his kiss with Rachel.

Haley looked shocked.

"You and Rachel?" she asked in skepticism.

"Thank you Penelope" Owen whimped.

"Could you help me?" Nathan asked as he tried to get his shirt off and his crutches were in the way.

"Sure" I smirked and put my hands on his shirt to pull it off. His stomach muscles were so defined; I just noticed and tried not to stare. He already caught my stare and smirked.

"You can't resist me already, huh?" he bit his lip seductive.

I looked up and he smirked.

"I think it was a nice attempt to start it slow, but I don't mind going fast" he grinned and referred to my condition to take slow steps now.

"Oh you know me so well Nathan" I whispered and ran my fingers down his chest towards his define muscles. He moaned softly and I grinned at how easy this was. He grabbed me closer and I smirked as I put my hand away. It was hard though.

"Well as we are all for teasing" I grinned and took a step back "I think I should get a shower, warm water on my body" I my hand from my neck to the cut of my shirt.

"Tease" Nathan said and pulled me closer with one hand. Running his hand down my back and smirking at me.

"See" I whispered against his ear "Game on!" I grinned and walked out of his hug just to throw a blue t-shirt at him.

"Put that on" I said and he caught it. Then I pulled off my own shirt and turned around to him.

"You look nice in blue" I smiled.

"And red defiantly is your color" he chuckled deeply referring to my bra.

"Thanks" I answered and before I disappeared behind the bathroom door I muttered "don't mess with me, Scott. I can always outbid you"

"So here we go?" Nathan asked and I nodded. He held my hand and I squeezed it.

"This is our first time in public as…" he stopped right where he was, he wasn't used to call us anything and he really would like to call us a couple, but I wasn't ready yet.

"As friends with potential?" I replenished and he nodded unsatisfied with my answer.

"Did I tell you that you look gorgeous?" he asked and I looked down on my red top and the tight jeans. He obviously wanted to change the topic.

"Not yet, but thanks" I smirked.

"Enough, you love birds make me sick" Rachel muttered behind us and I could literally hear her roll her eyes.

"Do not talk about sickness, please" Haley said, she was pale and shaky all over again.

"Right" I agreed and turned away from Nathan.

"You look good yourself, but I picked most of your stuff, so yeah" I grinned before I left with Haley behind the stage.

"Come on rock star, what are you afraid of? I've heard you sing and your voice is just amazing" I tried to calm her.

"What if I fall?" she asked.

"Then I get the bruises" I promised and her face lightened a bit.

"What if I forget my text or miss a note?" she requested in panic again.

"If that happens, than I take my shirt off, that will silence the crowd" I teased and she laughed.

"Do I have anything to say in this?" Nathan asked.

"Ehm, no" I teased him and Haley laughed. I took Haley's hand and pulled her backstage.

"Thanks Brooke" she said and threw her hands around me.

"Anytime" I whispered.

"And now go and show them some great singing" I said and left her behind the stage.

"How is little tutor?" Owen asked.

"Paperbaging" I just said and took Nathan's hand. A lot of people were watching us and the first whispers started. Some were starring at us.

"How are you over there?" Nathan wondered.

"I'm fine, you?" I asked and he smiled.

"Never felt better in my life" he teased.

Tim walked over and stared at us for some seconds.

"Dim, stop starring" Nathan commanded and Tim looked away and back at him.

"So the rumors are true?" he asked and I laughed.

"There are rumors already?" I asked and Tim nodded.

He was unsure of what to do and offered Nathan a high five which Nate couldn't decline.

"Guys" I rolled my eyes and he pulled me closer and rested both his crutches on each side of me and rested his head on my shoulder.

"That's how we are sometimes" he smirked and I laughed.

"You aren't planning on causing any rumors?!" I said and looked down at his hands that now found their way to my hips, without him being in any danger to fall down.

"Let them talk a bit" he grinned.

Peyton stepped up on the stage. She was her older self with the curly hair, a black Foo Fighters t-shirt and a jeans mini she took the microphone.

"I want to thank everybody in here for coming and proudly present you…." she started "Haley James" she yelled and everyone applauded.

Haley walked out in the outfit I picked up for her a violet top and jeans. She held tight to her guitar and sat down. First she closed her eyes and breathed in and out, before she faced the audience again.

"Hello Tree Hill" she said in a shaky voice. She started the rhythm on her guitar and then started to sing, her voice filled the room and I was so proud of her right there, she started to blossom right there in front of everybody's eyes. The people were moving to the beat and I leaned against Nathan slowly holding on to his crutches.

"She is awesome" I whispered and he agreed with me.

After the song was done we all applauded and I cheered for her.

"Thank you" she said insecure. All people cheered once again. She smiled and left the stage.

"She was awesome" Owen smiled at us, his arm was around Rachel's hip and I took it as a good sign.

Haley joined us and I hugged her.

"You did it" I smiled and she nodded.

"Oh my god, I sang" she said in disbelief.

"And you did a very good job at that" Owen praised her and Haley let go of me to look at him.

"You think?" she asked and her pulse was still very high and her heart was beating like crazy.

"Yes you did" Nathan smiled and she grinned at me. I wasn't in Nathan's embrace anymore but he took my hand in his and rested it again on the crutches.

"I did it" she cheered and put her fist out so I could hit it with mine. It was our little ritual and I squeezed with her a bit. Haley was out of breath.

"Awesome job Haley" Peyton said behind us and I turned just to notice her eyes on mine and Nathan's hands.

"Thank you Peyton" Haley smiled.

"Can I talk to you, Brooke?" Peyton asked. Nathan was still holding my hand, he squeezed it and I slowly let go.

"I'll be right back" I whispered turning to face him; he looked worried "Could you guys just get me a drink?" I asked. Nathan smiled softly at me and nodded.

Peyton stood there and watched my friends leave.

"Thank you" she whispered. I was caught off guard and just looked confused at her.

"I know you talked to Lucas and made him talk to me" she whispered "and I know that I am probably the last person in the world that you wanted to do this for"

"No" I just whispered "I was mad at you, maybe somewhere deep inside I still am, but we were friends for so long and the boy loves you" I explained and she looked thankful at me.

"Right back at you" she eyed Nathan and looked back at me.

"You seem to be happy" she said and I grinned.

"I am" I agreed and she just smiled back at me and muttered.

"Go be happy B. Davis" she turned around to face me once again.

"You too P. Sawyer" I returned and headed back to my group. Nathan put his arm around me and held his two crutches in one hand.

"You okay?" he asked and sat down on the barstool.

"Yes" I smiled and leaned against him.

"How do you feel?" I asked and he laughed.

"Dopy" he answered "and sleepy"

"You want to hit it home?" I asked and Haley pouted a bit but then just nodded.

"You probably really should go" she whispered "Nathan tries to hide his pain for so long now"

"I am not" he tried to oppose but failed, because his face was racked with pain.

"Thanks for lying, but you really should head back" Haley whispered and I hugged her.

"You have to celebrate like big times" I smirked and she nodded.

On the drive home I told him about the conversation I shared with Peyton. As we walked in I let him sit down on the couch and brought him a glass of water.

I helped him get the crutches away and get him something to change into.

"How funny that you can do it all by yourself this sudden" I teased and he smiled.

"Yeah, it's a miracle" he smirked at me.

"So I guess you are ready for bed" I looked at him and checked. The bed was done, he had a pillow and a blanket, he also had a glass of water, yes, he was ready for bed.

"Goodnight" I said and opened the door to my bedroom.

"That's not it, is it?" he asked and I looked back confused.

"Where's my goodnight kiss?" he pouted and I walked back to put my hand on his chest and slowly lean in for a kiss, he swept me from the floor and pulled me up on top of him to kiss me a bit longer.

"Nathan" I screamed out in shock and he mockingly picked my lips a few times.

"That's a proper goodnight" he smiled and I got up.

"Did I hurt you?" I asked wondering if I smashed his scars.

"It was worth it" he smiled brightly at me.

"Goodnight" I whispered and kissed his cheek softly. I turned the lights off and touched my lips with my finger and smirked. This really was the proper way to say good night!

I was leaning against my door and still thought about the kiss that Nathan gave me just seconds ago. I was sure that I was falling for him and so I opened the door and walked out, but he already stood there and looked at me with sparkling eyes as I took his hand and led him inside.

"I don't want to take it slow anymore" I whispered "we took it slow for too long and it actually almost broke us"

"I know" Nathan said and put his arms around me and I glanced at him while caressing the line of his neck.

"I've missed you" I muttered and he pulled me closer into a hug and I kissed his neck.

He slowly walked us to the bed and put me down on it. We started to kiss and he undressed me putting kisses on my skin.


	16. Chapter 16

_Hey guys, thanks that you keep reading! I really love all your reviews and you keep me writing...forget everything I said about this being short! I take you for a long ride with Brooke and Nathan and I hope you guys keep them company!_

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We woke up in a tight embrace. Nathan was breathing slowly and steady and my head was lifted and reduced with every breath he took. I liked that he was sleeping here the past few days, we had vacations after his accident and he had enough time to get better or at least gave him the opportunity to walk without crutches.

"Morning" he whispered at me and I grinned. It was nice to have him so close to me and without any misunderstandings. Every morning I was surprised to find him lying next to me, but it was a great surprise though.

"Morning" I replied and we both stared at each other for a while. His deep blue eyes were intoxicating me and his smirk was too seductive and I bit my lip.

"So now, are we official?" he whispered in my ear and kissed it.

"I think so, boyfriend" I smiled and he pulled me closer and started to kiss me. He was waiting for me to say it all this time, he was patient because he wanted us to get over all the mess that we created, but he wanted to be with me and he told me so.

_We had a fight as I told him that I wasn't sure if I was ready to date him yet and he was impatient. He started to believe that I was torturing him before I could forgive him. He stormed outside and I followed. The rain was falling down on us and he just didn't slow down._

"_Stop running away" I yelled. My hair was wet and the rain was falling through it._

"_Why can't you let me in?" he asked and I stopped where I was. _

"_Nathan I try" I said and wiped away the raindrops._

"_Why do I have to suffer Brooke? I live here and I am close to you, but you don't even care, do you?" he asked me and my heart seemed to stop. This wasn't what I had expected._

"_Not care? Nathan I suffer too, I don't know…why you chose me, Nathan" I just whispered and he walked closer to me._

"_After all I've done to you" I just looked down._

"_I forgave you and you forgave me Brooke" he just said and pulled my face closer to his._

"_But what if we don't work out?" I asked "I can't let someone else break my heart"_

"_I won't" he said and pulled me closer "I promise" _

"That sounds so great" he smirked between the kisses.

"I know" I smiled and we just were lying in each other's arms for a while. I ran my finger up and down his wounds and kissed them softly. Most of them were healed and some were new from his training.

"_You are still trying to catch me?" I asked as I ran in front of him._

"_A mile for a night in your bed is cruel" he pouted and I smirked._

"_Take it or leave it" I just said and he ran up to me._

"_You know I can't leave it, right?" he asked and the butterflies in my stomach started to fly wildly around._

"_Yeah, I'm so much better than Whitey! I have better methods than just yelling at you" I grinned._

"_That's because I don't want to sleep in the same bed with Whitey" Nathan laughed between breaths._

"_That's good" I nodded and ran a bit faster "though you run like the old man" I teased and started to run off._

_He caught me and pulled me down to the sand._

"_Stop it" I screamed as he started to kiss my neck._

"_You not getting rewarded for this" I yelled but he pressed his lips on mine and stopped me._

"_Take the comment back" he mouthed against my lips and I shook my head._

_He kissed me once again and lifted me up._

"_Nathan what are you doing?" I screamed and he just ran with me into the water. _

_The freezing cold water was all around us and I just started a water fight, to make him feel like I did._

"_You are so dead Nathan" I laughed and he just pulled me closer and kissed me._

"_Dead boy kissing" he smiled and I kissed him back._

"_Tomorrow you will get no rewards" I threatened him but he just laughed._

"_As if you would do that to yourself" he teased me._

"I bet now they heal faster" Nathan smiled at me and kissed my hair.

"We should probably get up and go to school" I said and he moaned.

"Let's skip classes" he suggested and kissed me once again.

"Tempting" I whispered against his lips. It was a really tempting propose but I knew that I had to be at school because of a test.

"Brooke, Nathan isn't in the living room" Haley said from outside and walked into my room and straight to my closet to get a top out. She didn't even glance at my bed.

"I borrow that one" Haley turned around to show me the top. That was the first time she noticed Nathan lying in there, with my head on his chest.

"Oh" she said in shock "and I try to sink into the floor" she added "sorry" she mouthed and ran outside the door all reddish in her face. She normally knew that if Nathan wasn't in his room that he was shooting hoops on River Court. We really should have had a better system then the hair rubber on the door knob, because I always forgot them.

"School it is" Nathan grinned and I laughed at him while placing some kisses on his lips.

"You mind if I talk to her first?" I asked and he just shook his head. I got up and dressed. Nathan grinned as he threw my bra back to me. Walking out of my room I saw Haley standing in the kitchen and eating cereals out of a bowl.

"I'm so sorry Brooke" Haley said and her cheeks reddened again.

"It's okay" I smiled "we weren't doing what you think we were" I explained and she just laughed.

"I'm not 5 years old Brooke" Haley added.

"Well we were, but we were done as you walked in, sorry I forgot the hair rubber" I raised my eyes at her and stuck my tongue out.

"Too much information" Haley decided and offered me a spoon. I took her bowl and tried the cereals.

"Sorry" she whispered again.

"Don't sweat it tutor girl" I answered and we were eating as Nathan walked out.

"Morning" he pretended that nothing had happened at all. He wore his jeans but was bare-chested he went through his bag and got a t-shirt out.

"Morning" Haley laughed ashamed.

The ride to school was better. We just decided not to talk about it anymore.

"You know that you'll be like topic number one in school?" Haley asked and I nodded.

"Probably" I agreed and Nathan grinned.

"Then we give them something to talk about" Nathan grinned at me.

"You are pretty daring, don't you think?" I asked and he just squeezed my hand.

"Yeah, I like to be daring, don't you?" he asked and I laughed.

We walked out of the car and he put his arm around me. People started to mumble and stared at us. Most of them already knew the rumors but couldn't believe that they were true. Tim was standing there with Theresa and tried to get her number.

"Now that Nathan is off the market" he flirted but she just left.

"You're off the market" I smirked "I branded you" I teased and walked towards my locker. I opened it just to find it decorated. There were photos on a pink locker and my favorite movie quotes as well. I saw my surprised face in the mirror. One picture of me and Nathan and one of Rachel, Haley and me was stuck to the mirror.

"How did you?" I asked and Rachel leaned against the locker.

"I helped" she smiled proudly.

"Now I branded you as well" Nathan smirked at me and I nodded.

"Pretty nice brand" I grinned "Thanks whore" I turned to Rachel and she just sighed.

"Well, your boy toy wouldn't stop annoying me until I gave in" she whispered and rolled her eyes.

I put my books into the locker and walked to English with her. People were talking and asking her how I and Nathan became a couple, though I was standing next to them.

Rachel mostly said something like "he got her at hello" or any other line from a cheesy song, laughed and walked away.

The tension wasn't eased as we met at practice. Rachel was stretching and Bevin stood there and talked.

"So Brooke totally made out with Lucas to get to Nathan" the blonde said in her all too well known voice and I looked shocked at Peyton. Peyton was tense but she faked a smile.

"Peyton" I started as I walked towards her but she just shook her head.

"Don't bother! I'm out I don't want to do practice anymore" she said and walked away.

"Bevin" I gave the blonde a reminding stare and she looked away guilty. I already told her not to gossip about my life and she said she would try, but I bet she forgot the moment I left.

Nathan was running suicides and he really was slower than the rest of the guys, but he didn't give up.

Whitey tried to convince him to stop, but he kept running.

"Scott you'll kill yourself if you keep this pace" he said and Nathan waved him off.

"No game without pain" he whispered and ran again. Lucas looked at him and decided to run the last few suicides with Nathan, though he was done.

"_So you are dating Brooke?" Lucas asked and Nathan turned around so he could watch Lucas._

"_Yeah" he muttered and Lucas nodded. Nathan caught the ball that flew back to him after it bounced off the basket._

"_So are we even now?" Lucas asked._

"_Technically you kissed both of my girlfriends, while they were dating me or at least were bonding with me" Nathan breathed out._

"_Can we get even?" Lucas asked and walked closer to Nathan._

_Nate just punched him in his nose._

"_What was that for?" Lucas asked as he wiped away the blood._

"_This was for kissing Peyton and make me feel worthless" Nathan said and as Luke was standing normal again he laid more power in his punch and did it again._

"_And this was for kissing Brooke" he whispered and helped Lucas up._

"_And now we can move on and be even" Nathan said and Lucas smiled desperately._

"_But if you kiss her again I might not stop after one punch" Nathan warned him._

"_See I date her…" Lucas started._

"_I meant Brooke"_

"Come on" he yelled at Nathan and finally Nathan let himself fall down on the floor. He was breathing unevenly.

"Thanks" Nathan whispered and Lucas let himself fall beside him "How's your nose?"

"Better" Lucas laughed between the breaths and they shared a great brotherly moment that I just had to interrupt.

"I need to talk to you" I said to Lucas and sat down beside Nathan and took his hand in mine. His pulse was racing.

"Did Peyton know?" I asked and Lucas looked confused and as he finally got what I was talking about.

"No" he said and put his head into his hands. He was lost and didn't know what he was supposed to do now.

"She does now, thanks to Bevin" I explained and Nathan tensed.

"Where is she?" he wondered after a while and I pointed towards the locker room.

"Thanks" he said and walked away pretty fast. Whitey yelled after him but he waved him off.

"That has to be some Scott gene" Whitey complained.

"How you feel?" I wondered and looked down on Nathan who smirked. His tenseness was gone and he tried to breathe evenly.

"I'm not in shape" he breathed in and out.

"I'll get you there" I winked at him and kissed him teasingly.

"Oh I bet you do" he smirked.

Rachel was waiting for me in the locker room and Peyton was still there.

"I figured you might need a guard" she whispered as she watched Peyton forcefully put her stuff into a bag. We didn't know what she was still doing here.

"You might have been right" I nodded and started to change.

"So you feel better now Brooke?" Peyton asked and walked closer to me. Her eyes were red so she must have been crying. For a moment I ignored her comment. Lucas obviously didn't clear things up with her. Or at least she didn't forgive him yet. I remembered how nice we talked as we were at TRIC together and reminded myself that I still didn't do something to offend her. They were on a break and she kissed him as I was still dating him. In any universe except hers obviously this was worse.

"Do you feel satisfied now, that you could pay me back?" she asked again and I looked up.

"Peyton I didn't kiss him to pay you back or…"I said and she just slapped me in my face.

"Shut up" she said and walked out. Obviously she didn't care what I had to say.

"Well you girls really are into bitch fights, aren't you?" Rachel asked and we walked outside.

I held my cheek and we walked passed an announcement.

"Hey, I should sign in" I smirked and wrote my name on the list of school president's application. It was a moment thing and I just felt like this was right. I wrote my name in big letters on the application. Nathan walked after us and smirked.

"Look who applied" he teased and kissed me on my cheek.

"Yes" I nodded and my face was filled with pain, because the cheek still hurt.

"What's with your cheek?" he asked as he saw me tense after the kiss.

"Bitch slap" I answered and he gave Rachel a warning stare.

"Wasn't me" she said offended and we left school.


	17. Chapter 17

Rachel, Owen, Nathan and I were sitting at a table in a club. The music was bouncing all around us, but the club wasn't filled as usual so we could still talk. I just sipped my cocktail as Owen recapped again.

"You stand as a candidate for school body president?" he asked again he was holding to his beer and took a sip after each word as if to think it over again and I nodded.

"How come?"

"See I am who I am. No excuses!" I said and Nathan pulled me closer "but I am more than everybody sees in me" I just shrugged "and I want to prove myself that I really am more than just a party girl"

Owen and Rachel smirked when they saw me in Nathan's arms. It was an unusual situation for us, but it didn't feel awkward. My back was leaned against his chest and his hands were on my arms.

"Okay and now you want us to plan your campaign!" he stated and I smiled. He basically knew what I wanted before I could even vocalize it.

"Basically, yeah! It's just me against some bitchy nerd named Erica Marsh, but she seems to be the current school body president" I smirked. Whitey just gave me the names of the candidates before I left school.

"_You are Brooke?" a blonde girl in preppy clothes asked me and I nodded._

"_Well I'm Erica Marsh the current school body president and I plan it to stay that way" she said and gave me pejorative stare._

"_Whatever Vivica" I said and left._

"So what do you have so far?" Rachel asked me and I looked at them.

"I have nothing" I said and leaned against Nathan.

"Well, we have to think" Owen smiled.

"Maybe I should make a contest –like vote for me and get a date" I said and Nathan pulled me closer. He was looking at me tense and checked my face expression. He turned me around a bit, so I would look him in the eyes.

"Not if I have anything to say in this" he smirked at me and kissed my nose.

"Who said you do have anything to say in here?" I teased him and tried to pull my nose away.

"My girlfriend did" he answered and he kissed my lips mockingly.

"Oh her, heard she's pretty jealous" I smiled and Rachel rolled her eyes.

"Yeah the flirting will help" she teased and we turned back to the others "okay maybe a makeover?" I suggested.

"Calm down little B" Owen whispered and I looked at him and bit my lip. I was excited and nervous, I just didn't know if I could make it.

"You think I can do this?" I asked and Nathan smiled at me.

"I do" he whispered and Owen grinned.

"Me too" he added and Rachel nodded.

"Thanks guys" I smiled softly at them and took another sip of my cocktail. I couldn't hide my excitement.

Next day my excitement was gone as I watched the posters all around school. They showed the same girl, dark hair and dimples.

It was Peyton's art and I knew it too well. There were different sketches about me all around school. I tensed as Rachel walked towards me. Peyton was pretty pissed at me yesterday and now I got the bill for my action or the lack of my reflexes.

"It's not looking good B" she whispered and I looked at her in shock. I knew that things were looking bad as I noticed her tone.

She handed me 3 pieces of paper.

"That's all around school" she whispered "I tried to rip them off, but every student has at least one"

I looked at the sketches.

The first I saw showed a cheerleader with dark hair and dimples holding her pom poms in the air and looking dumb at the side where a guy was standing and playing basketball. She was barely dressed. I noticed the speech bubble and started to read aloud: "Go Ravens Go, Beat them from head to toe, and if you start to feel low, I'll be your personal…wow" I stopped as I noticed the last word. I couldn't believe someone I called my friend once would write something like that about me.

"I know" Rachel tried to smile at me "maybe that's like a good thing, you'll be on everyone's mind? And sex sells anyway`?!" she tried to build me up. I heard my boyfriend's steps behind me.

"Did you?" Nathan walked towards me and had also some sketches in his hand.

I showed him mine and he put his arm around my waist.

"Sorry" he muttered and I smiled or at least I tried to do so.

"It's my fault" I whispered and looked at the second "I shouldn't have let Lucas kiss me".

Nathan put his chin on my head and I looked at the second sketch.

There was a brown haired girl standing at her locker. She was talking on her phone and was saying OMG and she was probably gossiping. On her cheer dress was a button with "I love my boyfriend, but I sleep with any jock" and I watched down to her purse where she obviously had tests saying "F, F, F" on each and every of them. I was tense now, but tried to look confident.

"I kick her bony ass" Rachel said as she ripped that one apart. People passed us and were gossiping I tried not to pay attention instead I looked down and noticed another sketch, which seemed to be the worst.

It showed the same dimpled girl and a guy over her. He was partly blonde and partly dark haired, so I guess she couldn't decide if it should be Nate or Luke. And the picture said "has meaningless sex with jocks".

I just tensed a bit more and swallowed hard fighting the tears. I was trying to run a campaign and Peyton was obviously against me. This meant she was on Erica's side. I just noticed a button on a guy's shirt and walked over to him and pinned him against the wall.

"No, you didn't and where do you have this one from?" I ripped the button from his shirt.

It read: I slept with Brooke Davis, but I vote for Erica Marsh.

"A blonde girl gave it to me, see it's just fun" I was filled with anger and wanted to smash his face as Nathan walked over and pulled me away.

"Nathan he was…" I started as I saw Nathan pin the guy against the same wall.

"See I don't want to hit you, but if I see you wear that one again, I will" he whispered at the guy and he nodded.

"Go tell your buddies" Nathan smirked at him and let him go. He was very protective and sexy at that, ran through my head and I tried to concentrate on the problem again.

"She's gone negative" I whispered and Rachel put her arm around me.

"And I thought this would be your move" she said and walked me to my locker.

"Me too" I whispered.

I put all the sketches I could get together and ripped them in parts. I smiled as I put the trash of them on Peyton's desk.

"At least you are a dedicated bitch" I said to her.

"Not the dedicated whore you like to call yourself" Peyton rolled her eyes and I was standing there watching her big eyes full with hurt.

"See I'm not the whore if your guys keep knocking on my door and anyway you kissed Lucas as I still called him my boyfriend" I whispered because I couldn't help myself.

"I didn't…" she started but I walked away before she could finish her thought.

I ran into Nathan and tears were running down my face. He was hugging me and I sobbed.

"It will pass" he muttered against my hair.

"I don't know Nathan; it looks like Peyton tries to make me…" I breathed in and out "pay for some mistake a mistake she did before I could even think about it".

He pulled my chin up and smiled at me.

"It will be fine, okay. Trust me" he whispered and I nodded.

We both made our way to chemistry and ran into Lucas, whom Nathan told what was going on.

"Sorry Brooke" Lucas said and felt guilty. He never would have possibly thought that one kiss was going to ruin me. Not like that anyway.

"It's not your fault entirely" I whispered. He took the sketches form my hand and started to collect them.

"I am sorry" he whispered again and I faked a smile.

"She doesn't want to talk to me and I never thought I had to tell her" he muttered.

"I know" I said and leaned against Nathan "we should go"

"Yeah, see you later Luke" my boyfriend said and we left.

"How you feel?" he asked.

"Not that well" I just explained and he nodded.

Time passed and a lot of people looked at me differently, but the basketball team had my back as well as the cheerleader. The guys made sure the buttons were gone and the girls collected the sketches. It was lunch time and everyone was eyeing me.

"I feel like a monkey in the zoo" I whispered and Haley put her trail down.

"I never would have thought that Peyton can do something like this" she whispered and sat down.

"That bony curly devil" Rachel said and ripped some sketches again, "how did she even manage this?"

"I don't know" I whispered and took a bite of my sandwich.

We heard Peyton argue with Lucas, but couldn't tell what they were fighting about. We could only hear bits of their conversation.

"I didn't" she screamed at him and he helplessly let his hands fall.

"You can tell me, I'm not accusing you of anything" Lucas said softly and Peyton rolled her eyes.

"Can you just once be on your girlfriend's side?" she asked and he smirked bitter.

"Do I still have one? Because she keeps running away from me" he said and she walked away.

"Just like that" he yelled after her.

"Drama always finds its way back in to Tree Hill" Nathan said and sat down beside me with his food. We ate mostly in silence and I couldn't eat at all, so I just drank my coke and waited for the rest of them.

As we walked through the corridor Whitey stopped me.

"Glad I found you Miss Davis" he smiled and walked me towards gym "You are late for the presidential speech" he added and I walked into the gym filled with students. Rachel, Nathan and Haley followed me.

"First Erica goes, then you" he said and led me backstage. Nathan gave me a little kiss before I had to go.

"What am I supposed to do?" I asked and Whitey rolled his eyes.

"Your friends or a teacher gives you a preference" he explained and I looked at him in shock.

"But I don't have anyone" I stuttered and he just walked away.

It would be awful, I already felt it. Erica had Principal Turner talking for her. He was babbling about her achievements and about her career in school. She was a very good student and she was determined. It was hard to compete with someone like that.

"Brooke Davis" I was announced and I walked out and looked at the people sitting in front of me.

I had to give up right there and right now. I took the mic and started.

"Hello fellow students, sadly enough I didn't get a note about this, so I have no one talking for me" I said and Peyton got up and walked towards the stage.

"You do" she whispered and took my microphone. I tensed because I couldn't even measure up how much damage this would cost. Again my reflexes sucked in times like these.

"We just heard Principal Turner read a list of Erica's accomplishments. I could try to do that for Brooke but it would be kind of a short speech" Peyton started. The crowd laughed and she looked at me "I guess every one of you saw the sketches" I tensed as she pointed them out again. I could feel my body becoming numb.

"I think they were pretty self-explaining" she added. "What you don't know is that I was mad at Brooke, because she kissed my boyfriend" Peyton started to explain and I was still tense. I would go down with big banners.

"And I was mad at her for that, that's how this sketches were made, in pain and hate and probably as a way to hurt her, what I didn't know was that Erica would take them and use them against my knowledge to run her campaign. I threw the sketches away after practice but they obviously were found" Peyton told the audience and I looked at her confused.

"Brooke Davis is my friend; she was there when my mother died. She came over and just sat there with me in silence and she would never complain about my absent minded attitude. Brooke is a lot of things but mostly she is tough, smart and one-of-a-kind" Peyton said and I felt relieved I couldn't believe she was doing this for me.

"And I don't know about you but those are things that I look for in a leader. Brooke Davis is my friend but that's not why I'm voting for her. I'm voting for her because of her heart and her spirit" she explained and looked at me.

"Because when life gets hard on her, she doesn't let it in and control her decisions. She wears a smile and kicks life in the ass. If you ever were lucky enough to fight life with Brooke Davis, you would easily learn that life can't harm that girl" Peyton swallowed hard and smiled at me.

"I hope you all can help us tear apart the sketches because they aren't showing the true Brooke Davis, they show just the prejudices that people have about her, and you guys shouldn't believe in prejudice but form your own opinion" Peyton said and the people started to applaud.

"Thanks" I mouthed at her before I hugged her.

"Sorry" she whispered at me. I smiled at her.

"I'm sorry too" I muttered and she hugged me once again.

The votes were counted and I stood there in Nathan's arms surrounded by my friends. Peyton and Lucas joined us. It was nice to have them back. It was a reunion of old friends and new ones. I was shaking and Nathan was holding my hand tight.

"We have the votes for our school body president and the winner is…" Whitey announced. My heart was beating fast. I couldn't believe than just in some seconds, I would hear the winner.

"Brooke Davis"

And it was my name that was announced.


	18. Chapter 18

_Thanks for staying with the story! Love your reviews, thanks everyone!_

It was Friday again and school was over. I was cuddled into Nathan's arms and we watched an episode of Dr. House. It was nice and Nathan was kissing my head softly. We had less time together in school in the past week, because I was preoccupied with presidential stuff and he had to work out pretty hard, because the Campion Ship was this weekend and he had to be in his normal shape to be able to play at all and for the team to have a chance to win. But today was about relaxing.

We planned on stay home and watch TV and maybe cook. My cell rang and I saw Rachel's name on the screen.

"I have to pick up that one" I whispered and he nodded. We actually said that we weren't allowed to pick up calls. This way we would be all relaxed.

"Hey" I said and heard Rachel cry loudly in the phone. I knew that I had to cancel the comfy day.

"What happened?" I asked and she still sobbed unable to talk.

"Can I come over?" she asked and I allowed her to come she just clicked the phone dead and I looked at Nathan.

"I'm sorry, but Rachel is in a really bad shape, she's coming over" I said worried and he tightened his grip around me and kissed my forehead.

"I'll visit Lucas, maybe we can play one on one and Tim was asking me if we can hang out, so don't worry" Nathan smiled at me and kissed my nose. I softened and smiled at him. I was so glad that he and Lucas were getting along.

"Thanks" I said. He got up and packed a bag.

"Just in case Rachel wants to stay over, I can sleep at my mum's" he whispered and I got up and put my arms around him and kissed him. He was just so caring; he knew how much I cared for Rachel and that if she felt bad I did too. So he accepted that fact and reacted so nicely.

"Thank you" I mouthed and he smirked.

"I shouldn't be sharing a bed with good-looking dimpled girls anyway, Whitey ordered" he smiled and I laughed.

"Well he is right, I might distract you" I smiled and led him out to the door.

"Behave" he smiled and I nodded.

"You too" and we kissed before I closed the door. I really was one happy girl.

After Nathan left I waited 5 minutes and Rachel already walked inside. She was crying and I noticed that her hand was bleeding.

"Rach" I said and she couldn't stop the tears. Her eyes were red and her hair looked like she just rolled out of her bed.

"What happened?" I wanted to know as I pulled her into a hug.

"I did something dumb" she was sobbing and I led her to the couch where she could finally sit down.

"I slept with Cooper" she cried out and I stroked her hair. Her head was lying in my lap and I tried to make her stop crying so badly.

"What?" I asked immediately and stopped the movement of my hand.

"Yes, it was a mistake and I…" she had to swallow "was thinking about Owen all the time" she was totally down and the tears didn't stop. I tried to calm her and watched her hand.

"We need to stop the bleeding" I muttered and she nodded.

I got up and got some bandages and something to clean the wound. Rachel's eyes tensed as I was patch up her wound. The alcohol must have burned like hell.

"How did this happen?"I asked and she started crying again.

"I hit the mirror as I saw my face" she sobbed and her throat was scratchy "I couldn't stand the person staring back at me"

"Ray" I whispered and hugged her once again.

"I am in love with Owen and I had a really dumb way to show him that" she said tears still running down her face. I pulled her down again and stroked her hair.

"He doesn't need to know" I whispered and tried to calm her down. She tensed.

"He doesn't?" she asked again and I nodded. Her eyes still full with tears and she unable to get a sentence out without stuttering.

"You aren't official yet and you didn't do anything wrong, it was a mistake, but you can fix this" I promised her and she started to calm down. I offered her my glass of water and she took some sips. We were sitting in total silence for a while until she calmed down completely. That's when I could have asked all the questions I had in mind.

"How?" I just wondered and she looked up at me.

"He was in town for Deb, I saw him in a bar and I pretended to be 21, so we started to talk and flirt" Rachel muttered "It helped me to forget Owen and today Owen wanted to go out with me. He asked me for a real date. Just the two of us and I was scared. I called Cooper and well you know the rest" she sobbed a bit again.

"Rachel" I shook my head and stroked her hair again "you should be scared like hell, opening up your heart to someone is a big step, but once you do" I paused "you might get rewarded"

Rachel looked up at me.

"Are you happy Brooke?" she asked and I nodded.

"Yes" I answered "give Owen a chance. He will take any opportunity to get closer to you" I explained and she started to cry again. We spend the rest of the evening while talking about her and Owen and trying to figure out how she could tell him. She was sitting up now and her tears dried.

"I think you are right" she whispered and my cell rang again.

"Hey boyfriend" I smiled as I heard his voice.

"I just wanted to check if I should stay here?" he asked he seemed to be unhappy and I wondered why. I looked at Rachel to check it with her first and she shook her head.

"No, you can come home" I smiled and he said that he looks towards me. That's when his voice was normal again, so I thought I might have misread it before.

I took my cell and dialed a number.

"Hey" Owen answered.

"Can you come over?" I asked and he said he was on his way. This was a nice thing about Owen, he never asked why or what for he just came and found out what was going on himself.

"Whom did you call?"Rachel asked.

"You are not driving home alone" I whispered and she looked up in shock.

"You didn't call HIM?" she asked surprised.

"I did" I disagreed and she started to call me a lot of names. She was very good in the insulting department but I explained her that Owen was the only person I could trust her to be around now and they really needed to be together today.

But as Owen arrived she was already sleeping.

"Bring her home safe" I whispered and he nodded.

I was lying in Nathan's arms and he stroked my arm.

"I found pills at my mum's" he whispered and I sat up to look at him. He was waiting a long time before he vocalized what was on his mind. He seemed to be somewhere else with his thoughts, but I waited for him to tell me what was bothering him. I guess I didn't misread his voice before.

"I'm sorry Nathan" I whispered. I meant every word of it.

"She is addicted" he explained and pointed to the bag.

"It's full of this stuff" he muttered and I put my arms around him. He was so helpless in this moment it reminded me of the hospital.

"I'm sorry" I repeated and he kissed my arms.

"My family is really messed up, see Dan or my mum…" he said bitter.

"But you are different" I smiled softly. That's what he was bothered about. He had seen who his parents had become and didn't want to become them.

"How do you know?" he asked and I kissed his hair softly. He was really different from them and it was hard to believe that he didn't already know.

"Because I know you Nathan Scott" I smiled and the door rang.

Nathan got up and opened it. I was standing right behind him in my robe.

"Nathan where are they?" Deb asked. She seemed to be a wreck. Her hair was messed up and her eyes were reddish and she was shaking slightly.

"What mum?" he asked calmly and she rolled her eyes.

"This is not a game Nathan" Deb said and stormed inside "where are the pills" she started to look around.

"Deb" I whispered but she pushed me away.

"Where are they?" she said louder now and Nathan stopped her hand.

"It's either me or the pills mum" he said calmly and she looked up at him. Her stare was cold as she decided.

"Where are the pills?" she asked and Nathan took his bag and threw it at her.

"I hope you'll be happy" he whispered and closed the door after her.

He was standing there emotionless and numb. He was shaking now as well as anger and pain filled his body.

I walked over and pulled him into a hug. He tightened his grip around me.

"My mum chose pills over me" Nathan whispered "how messed up is this?" he asked and I looked up at him.

"She doesn't know what she loses on you" I whispered and we walked back into the bedroom. I cuddled to Nathan and he tightened his grip around me.

"I love you Brooke" he whispered and I looked up at him.

"What?" I asked in shock and he smiled softly.

"You are the person that I can rely on, you have a beautiful straight and you are one of a kind, you are the one" he whispered and I smiled softly tears building up in my face.

"I love you too, Nate" I muttered and he kissed me.

For a moment the world seemed to be a normal place. We fell asleep.

I woke up as Nathan was stretching.

"It's time to rise and shine" he smiled at me and I got up.

"It really is" I smiled and walked over to kiss him. I wasn't sure if he really said that he loved me in the night but I felt happy.

We were ready to go and Haley was as well. It was a big event and Nathan was nervous.

"We don't need to pick up Rachel, Owen takes care of that" I smiled as I checked my mails and we drove off to the State Champion Ship.

The gym was huge and it was almost empty as we got there. I heard a ball bounce on the floor and saw Lucas playing there. We weren't the first. I went on my toes and kissed Nathan's cheek.

"You are okay, right?" I whispered and he nodded.

"I knew my family and I shouldn't expect them to change" he whispered and kissed me.

"Hey, are you here to work out or make out" Lucas laughed and Nathan ran over to play with him.

"So how does the recording go?" I asked and Haley smirked at me.

"I go on a tour tonight, it's so exciting" she whispered and I smiled. Haley worked pretty hard in the past few weeks and she really were getting better I heard some of her new songs and they were just great. She would have success I knew it.

"I'm proud tutor girl" I smiled at her and she nodded.

"Thanks" she whispered and hugged me.

"Send me a card" I said and tears filled my eyes "you should have said something earlier" I protested and she laughed in tears.

"I didn't know until now" she said and we let go of each other.

"It's not goodbye though" she whispered and I smiled.

"I know" I agreed and she pulled a letter out of her bag.

It was addressed to me.

"What is this?" I wondered and she smirked.

"I send some of your sketches to Victoria Secret you are so talented Brooke, you should get an opportunity as well" she smiled and handed me the letter.

I looked at it and was shocked. She sent my fashion to Victoria Secret and I didn't know if I could open the letter just yet.

"You're in" he told me and I cheered loudly and smiled at her.

"Thank you" I whispered and hugged her again.

"You are too talented to waste it" she muttered and I smiled.

"Now I really have to cry" I said between sobs.

The game started and we were cheering. I was standing between Rachel and Haley. Rachel told me that she and Owen talked and now they want to try it. He had spent the whole night beside her bed and she was grateful. In the morning she told him that she wants to open up at least she would try to.

"That's awesome" I smiled and she nodded.

Tree Hill was 9 points back and a player from Pirates ran over to me and smiled.

"You want a one on one game after this one?" he asked and I started to laugh. Haley, Rachel and Peyton joined me. It was just a ridiculous pick up line.

"Sorry I'm in a relationship" I said and he just smirked.

"Which loser?" he asked and Mouth announced: "Nathan Scott went for the basket and it's in"

"Him" I smiled and winked at Nathan who smiled brightly back at me.

"Oh, he isn't half as good as me" the guy said and stormed towards Nathan who was having the ball and stole it from him. The both of them were playing hard and I just heard them talk. Nathan said something like: "Keep your hands off my girl".

The other one laughed and smirked "Make me".

"Let's hope Nathan won't foul" Rachel said and I remembered that he was just one foul away to be benched.

"Damn" I said and cheered louder for Nathan.

But he wasn't the one fouling; he was the one fouled 5 seconds and 3 points away from undecided. The couch from the other team was screaming around and cursing his players.

Nathan was standing at the free throw line and the guy started to innerve him while talking how he would touch me and I was really pissed but Nathan just looked at him and smirked.

"She wouldn't even spit on you if you were on fire" he said and turned to me. His eyes focusing on mine and I smiled proudly at him as he let go of the ball, still focusing on me and I heard it went through the hoop.

The audience applauded and I smirked at him.

"I love you" I mouthed and he raised his eyebrow and threw the ball again. It went in and everyone was cheering around him and the cheerleaders all were screaming but he walked straight towards me.

"I love you too" he smiled and lifted me up. He was swirling me around and then he kissed me. He kissed me while the noise around us started to vanish.

"I love this game" he smiled at me "and I love you" he said and put me down again. Owen and Lucas congratulated him and Rachel looked at me.

"Love?" she asked and I nodded.

"Scary isn't it?" I asked and Haley elbowed me.

"I would say it's pretty awesome" she smiled.

We went to a party for the winner's team, our team. Nathan was proudly holding me in his arm as people congratulated him for his incredible win. He smiled and nodded at them but we walked passed them and finally walked into a corridor. He smiled softly at me and pinned me softly against the wall.

"You said you loved me" he smirked.

"You did too" I smiled and he kissed.

"Hey" Owen interrupted our togetherness. Nathan let go of me.

"It's my birthday in three days" he smirked and Rachel was holding his hand.

"So are you up for a road trip?" he asked and we laughed.

"Sure" I smiled and winked at Rachel who was smirking back at me.


	19. Chapter 19

Thanks to all the people who read this, your reviews always make my day ;)

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It was morning and Haley was gone. She already wrote me a message telling me how great the bus was and that everyone seemed to be nice. I already missed her being around. Her room was empty mostly, because she took all her stuff to her parent's house.

"_You and Nathan can live together now, I am very thankful that you let me live with you Brooke and you are a great roommate, really" Haley said "but you and Nathan are serious and you should have the chance of having a lot time just the two of you" she explained and I hugged her._

"_I can't believe you leave" I whispered._

"_I'll write and call you" she smirked and I hugged her tighter._

"_Thanks" I muttered and she smirked and we both cried._

Nathan made breakfast, well he basically just jogged over at Karen's - made sure his mother wasn't working and bought us some cake and coffee.

"Tasty" I grinned at him as I ate my cake. He was already done with his breakfast and his wet hair was almost dry. He basically had a whole day, before mine started. He worked out, got breakfast, showered and woke me.

"You have any plan where we are heading?" I asked and he shook his head. He was focused in me and I blushed a bit.

"Owen was pretty secret about this one" Nathan smiled and I just drank my coffee empty when the doorbell rang and Owen walked in after Nate opened it.

"Good morning" Owen smiled at us and Rachel was walking in less excited.

"Morning almost birthday kiddo" I laughed and he sat down.

"Are you ready for a cool road trip to Vegas?" he asked and I looked skeptical at him.

"You know we all are under aged, right?" I asked and he just laughed.

"My cousin works there this weekend, he made us fake ID's and we go as VIP all around there" Owen said and gave us each one.

They really looked authentic. Nathan smiled "nice".

"So we will drive through and make one stop" he smiled.

Rachel rolled her eyes. She was still standing and she looked tiered.

"There was no way to stop him" she laughed and he grabbed her hip and pulled her closer.

"No, you maybe could have" he smiled and she shook her head.

"I know" she smirked and bit her lip. She wasn't used to hear someone say that but she enjoyed it. They were like teenagers. Owen gave me 10 minutes to unpack some stuff and pack some dresses. Nathan helped me and decided which dresses I should take.

"That one is hot" he smirked and I rolled my eyes but packed it never the less.

"So let's go" Owen ordered and Nathan grabbed my bag and we walked outside.

"I'll drive first" Rachel commanded and Owen laughed.

"Alright, you have a problem with me as your passenger?" he smirked and she shook her head.

"As long as you are quiet" she teased and Nathan grinned at me.

"You can sleep if you want" he muttered to me as we were sitting in the back seat.

"No, thanks" I smiled. We needed a weekend out of Tree Hill. This way Nathan wasn't confronted with neither of his parents and the rest of the drama was left behind as well. Rachel turned on the radio and we opened the windows. The music was loud and the wind was fresh on my face. I smiled satisfied and Nathan tightened his grip around me.

"Road trip" I said loudly and Rachel cheered.

As we stopped at the hotel I still couldn't believe we were in Vegas. We spend a night in a little town before we got here, so the trip took us 2 days, but we finally made it. The town was pretty small and we ended up sharing a little room with one bed and one couch. Nathan and I took the couch but it was really uncomfortable and we couldn't sleep all night. I knew that this wouldn't be a problem in here. The hotel was huge and though it was bright I could tell the hotel looked amazing in the dark. The rooms must have been amazing judging from the entrance hall. We checked in and our baggage was taken care off.

Rachel and I looked in shock at each other.

"So that's Vegas" Rachel smiled at me.

"Yeah" I smirked and we followed the boys.

Nathan already had our key and smirked at me as he lifted me up. I was in his arms and he teasingly kissed me.

"You are with me" he said with a crooked smile on his face.

"This means trouble" I teased and ran my finger on his smile. He walked me through the corridor and lifted me up to walk me in our room.

"We've got the honey moon suite" he smiled as we walked into a room with a heart shaped bed and roses lying all around the room. It had a great view on the city and our room seemed to have a big shower.

"Wow" I breathed out in excitement. The room was beautiful and I couldn't believe we were in Vegas already. Nathan put me down on the bed and was on top of me.

"You like?" he asked and I had to catch my breath.

"I love" I just said and he smiled satisfied.

"I thought you only love me" he smirked. I bit my lip at his cuteness.

"Well" I teased "I do, but I have options you know?!"

"I have to fight all the suitors then" he laughed and kissed me. I gripped his head and ran my fingers through his hair.

"Yeah, the many suitors I have" I said ironic between the kisses and he looked astonished.

"You know I had to fight this guy, because of you?" he asked referring to a player from Pirates.

"And that's how you won" I accentuated.

"Maybe, but still had to fight for you Davis" he said and rolled on his back. I cuddled into his arms and closed my eyes.

"You have me though" I whispered "and I'm not going anywhere".

Nathan smiled and kissed my hair. We were lying like that for a while and I kissed his chest.

"You really need a shower" I said after a while and he started to laugh.

"Thanks" he just replied and I smirked.

"Want to join me?" I asked as I got up and went for the shower. I pulled my shirt off and let it fall down on the floor. I didn't have to ask twice.

"Do we have a gift?" Nathan asked me as we got ready to get out. Our bathroom had a whirlpool and that made us lose track of time. We were already late. I just was finishing my makeup and Nathan watched me leaned against the door frame.

"Yes, stupid, we have" I said and pointed at a package on top of my bag. It was wrapped in Duke colors and Nathan walked over to examine it better.

"What is it?" he asked after a while, obviously giving up.

"A digital camera in Duke colors" I explained and he laughed.

"The perfect gift, he can pictures of his 21 birthday that way" Nathan agreed and I turned around to show him my red dress and my styling.

"You look stunning" he whispered as he came closer and took my hands into his. His fingers locked mine and he kissed me.

"How did I get this lucky?" he asked and I thought for a moment.

"It helps that you are handsome" I smiled and he kissed me once again. I looked at his suit and smirked.

"I bet it does" he teased as it knocked on our door. I travelled my hand down his chest and smirked. Rachel was standing there in a green short dress and knocked again.

"Get dressed you too, even in the zoo they aren't that active" she teased. Nathan smirked at me before he placed another kiss on my lips and I opened the door.

"Aren't we all Miss Sunshine" I said and she came in. Rachel was actually looking happy.

"Well, at least I look better than you do" she joked and looked at Nathan.

"Gladly both of you are dressed and ready to go" she smiled and we nodded. Nathan winked at me and Rachel noticed.

"Really aren't you ever getting tired" she added ironically.

Nathan got up and took my hand as we walked outside.

"So you have a cool gift for him?" I asked Rachel as Nathan walked over to Owen and started to talk to the almost birthday boy. We went passed two bodyguards who gave us the VIP passes which meant we weren't asked about our ID's the rest of the evening. The bar was awesome you could have gambled and dance. It was 50's style and the bartenders were dressed like the people in mafia movies. Owen headed towards the bar and ordered some shots. They were red and burned first. But once they stopped one was able to drink them.

"To the night" he laughed and we drank the shots. The alcohol was burning down our throats and I made a grimace. All the people around here were older, but they didn't look much older.

"For the next half hour you are illegally here" Nathan smiled at Owen who nodded.

"And after that I am the only one who is legally allowed here" he teased us. Rachel rolled her eyes and Owen pulled her closer and kissed her cheek. He ordered at least four more rounds before it rang midnight. We all cheered with our champagne glasses and toasted towards Owen. He seemed pretty happy and we gave him our gifts. He was astonished to find out that he was getting gifts at all. His face brightened like a child's on Christmas Eve.

Rachel gave him a trip into a wellness hotel and he smiled as he noticed that the tickets were for two and kissed her. It was the first time I've seen them kiss and I couldn't believe how well they fitted. It was just so clear that the two of them were perfect for each other; I wondered why they didn't make it official yet. She was happily in his arm as he opened our gift and started to laugh.

"You are crazy, both of you" he couldn't stop laughing. I sighed in relief to find out that he liked the camera and he just showed it to Rachel.

"That's like a cool idea" he smirked and pulled me into a hug.

He also thanked Nathan and made a cute photo of us as his first photo with the cam. Owen ordered another round of shots and we all went to the play tables.

Nathan and I tried our luck with the roulette and Rachel watched Owen try his luck at Black Jack. We were gambling for a while and Nathan gave me the ships to decide where we set them.

"You are my lucky charm" Nathan smirked and kissed me. The kiss was another element of our lucky routine.

We were winning a lot of chips and Nathan grinned at me.

"This is like awesome" he smirked and I kissed him one more time, before Rachel grabbed my arm and pulled me towards the dance floor. We were dancing and she laughed.

"I think I am drunk" she grinned at me.

"Me too, your boyfriend, he does fill us up pretty nice" I teased her.

"He is not my boyfriend yet" she interrupted me. The song was awesome and after a while the boys joined us.

Nathan was placing his hands on my hips and I felt the dance floor to blur into a mixture of different colors. Owen offered us another shot and I took it but I couldn't swallow it first. I had to fight it down.

"I need some fresh air" I whispered to Nathan and he took my hand and walked me out. We sat down beside the fountain.

"I hope Owen enjoys this" I whispered "he won't be happy tomorrow"

"Neither of us will" Nathan smirked at me and kissed my head.

"You are even beautiful when you are drunk" Nathan kissed me.

"Thank you" I whispered and kissed him once again.

"Everything is spinning" I grinned at him and he nodded. We started to laugh.

"Make it stop" I smiled and put my head in his chest. I almost forgot how it felt to be this drunk. I hadn't had a lot of drinks lately and I could feel my body become numb.

"Should we head back?" Nathan asked and I nodded, but Owen and Rachel were faster.

"We need to eat something" Rachel complained and Owen agreed. We all went into a cute restaurant and ordered. Owen still was ordering alcohol and no one could say no to him.

"You like your birthday this far?" I asked and tried to concentrate. My eyes were getting heavy and Owen laughed.

"Are you already drunk, B?" he asked and I was offended.

"I am a girl, I do not tolerate as much alcohol in my system as you do" I defended myself and Nathan's grip around me tightened as he chuckled. Rachel looked at Owen.

"I am a bit drunk myself" she agreed with me and he smiled.

"We won't forget that evening, the hang over tomorrow will be legendary" he laughed and he and Nathan had another shot. They toasted to life and girls, but then decided each deserved its own shot. Rachel and I were eating and shook our heads at their behavior but it amused us as well as it disturbed us to think how badly we would feel in the morning. I had some sips of my cocktail but I couldn't tell if there was alcohol in this one or not.

"We should head to bed" Owen smiled and we paid. I decided to go to the ladies room, so Owen and Rachel left while Nathan waited for me.

As we walked outside we saw Rachel and Owen disappear behind the doors of a little chapel. "Rock and Marry" the bright sign said and I looked at Nathan.

"That's not good" I whispered and he agreed with me.

"What about crashing a wedding?" he laughed at me. We couldn't let Owen and Rachel get married. We walked inside and searched for them.


	20. Chapter 20

It's not the last chapter ;) I'll keep writing =P Thanks for all of you, you are like my personal muses!

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I woke up and my head felt like a giant hammer felt on it. I rolled over just to find Nathan next to me. He looked like hell as well. I sat up and opened the fridge to get a bottle of water. I drank it up and tried to concentrate on what happened yesterday. I couldn't remember how I got into this bed or where I was last.

Nathan opened his eyes and looked at me.

"Water" he mouthed and I got him a bottle and he sat up as well.

"My head feels like I was run over by a bus" he complained his hair was messed up into different directions and I nodded.

"Or a train" I suggested and he laughed but his face was filled with pain.

"That wasn't a good idea" he explained and I grinned. I put my head back on my pillow and tried to rest. I got up pretty fast again and the room was spinning.

"Nathan, did Owen and Rachel get married?" I asked and he looked at me surprised. It took him two more seconds until it hit him.

"Oh, yeah the chapel" he whispered and I nodded. I remembered that there was a priest that was dressed as Elvis and how he was singing through the ceremony.

"Gosh, I hope they didn't" I whispered and tried to get up. I couldn't control my body though.

It knocked on the door and I felt sick, so I just said "come inside" instead of opening myself.

"Room service" Owen said and walked in with a trail full with food.

"Morning" I smiled at him and sat up. He placed the trail on the bed and Rachel walked in and sat down on our bed as well. She was just as hung over as we were; only Owen seemed to be okay. Nathan sat up and we started to eat.

"Did you guys?" I wondered "get hitched last night?" I asked and searched for a ring on Rachel's finger. The red haired just started to laugh and Owen joined her.

"We married?" he laughed "think again Brooke" he said and Rachel took my hand and showed it to me. There was a silver ring on my finger and I was shocked. I turned to face Nathan and he showed me his hand having exactly the same ring.

"Oh, oh no" I said and swallowed. Owen was still laughing and showed me his camera. There was a picture of me and Nathan in front of the Elvis and a photo where we shared obviously **the** kiss. I remembered parts and bits.

"_You can't get married" I said as I saw Rachel and Owen make out on a bench in the chapel. _

"_Obviously they won't" Nathan laughed and pulled me up to the priest._

"_I love you" he said and kissed me._

Nathan looked at me confused and Owen stopped laughing.

"You didn't remember?" he asked and Nathan shook his head.

"Oh, oh no" I started to hyperventilate.

"Obviously not" Rachel said worried.

"_Do you take this man as you husband?" Elvis asked "and promise to love him tender and to have him always on your mind?"_

"_Yes" I giggled and Nathan kissed me._

I stared at Nathan and Rachel took Owen's hand and walked him out.

"I think they need to sort things out" she whispered and left. I got up and grabbed my stomach. I was feeling sick.

"Brooke" Nathan muttered and I looked at him.

"No" I shook my head and looked at the ring. I didn't know what was to do here and Nathan just walked over and pulled me in his arms.

"It will be okay" he whispered and I breathed in and out to calm myself.

"You are right, we can fix this" I agreed and Nathan tightened his grip around me.

"We can work this out" he whispered and I looked shocked at him.

"What do you mean we can work things out?" I asked and I couldn't believe that he was actually thinking about staying this way - us being married. I was eighteen for god's sake.

"I love you Brooke, and I believe that you are the one" he said and looked me sincerely in the eyes. I wasn't getting air anymore. He was suggesting to be married.

"Nathan I…"I breathed in and out and pulled out of his embrace "I need some time alone, to sort things out" I whispered and he nodded.

"But remember that I love you" he said and my heart felt like a big stone was chained to it.

"I love you too" I said with a shaking voice and walked out. I breathed uneven and looked at my ring finger. I started to shiver. I had to turn things back to normal. Married! It rang through my head and I couldn't stop tears falling down my face. I was cursing alcohol and I was cursing my lack of decision making skills. Nathan wanted this. In a weird way he seemed to be calm about this and he even enjoyed this. I ran my hand through my hair and walked to Rachel's room. I borrowed some clothes and except for that, I didn't talk much. Rachel was asking me how I was, but I just couldn't answer.

I walked out in her jeans and a top and sat down on the bench in front of the fountain. I already walked into the chapel and figured out that I could get an annulment during the next 12 hours after we got married. It would be like the marriage never happened. Two hours to decide what to do.I held tight to the papers and read them over again.

"_We can work this out" I could hear Nathan's voice whispered. "I love you Brooke, and I believe that you are the one"_

My cell rang and Haley called me. We talked for at least 20 minutes about the tour and about Chris being a decent guy if you get to know him. I think he was hitting on her and laughed. Still I was tense and my grip was tight around the annulment papers.

"Nathan and I got hitched in Vegas last night" I said and Haley didn't speak in shock.

"You guys can work things out" she whispered "I mean you are a great couple. You've been through a lot already and still stuck together. What did he say?" she wondered.

"The same actually" I smiled and she laughed.

"See, he loves you and I bet sooner or later he would have asked you" she explained and I thought about it.

"Maybe" I whispered.

"Just because this happened so early, doesn't mean it won't work out" Haley smiled through the telephone "Love has no age limits, so who says you guys weren't the right ones for each other and fate guided you here. Maybe this is how this is supposed to be"

I was feeling better. We talked for another 10 minutes and then Haley persuaded me to talk to Nathan. I hung up and looked at my cell and the annulment papers in my hand.

I knocked on the door and Nathan opened it, he was wearing his suit and smiled softly at me. I walked in and he fell down on one knee. I couldn't believe that this was happening.

"Brooke, I love you and I know you love me" he started and took my hand. I was confused, unable to move.

"I might not always be a perfect boyfriend and I get jealous easily, but I will care for you and never harm you. I promise to love you until the world tear us apart" he smiled at me.

"I know it wasn't the perfect wedding, and we can fix that, but I wanted to ask you: Do you want to stay my wife?" he asked and I was standing there: unable to speak.

"Nathan" I pressed out in pain and helped him up.

"Brooke?" he asked shocked and tears built up in my eyes.

"Are you saying no?" he wondered and I pulled him closer and hugged him.

"I'm sorry" I whispered and he pulled away. I saw his blue eyes fill with pain and I couldn't believe that I was breaking him from the inside.

I tried to collect myself and tried to get him closer to me again by grabbing his hand but he just shook mine away.

"I love you, but I can't be married to you right now" I tried to explain and Nathan shook his head in disbelief.

"You are saying no to me?" he asked again and I looked helplessly at him.

"Not to you, to a marriage with you for now" I tried to convince him but he was a broken man right there.

"It's the same" he whispered and I felt myself break.

"No…" I protested and Nathan looked at me.

"It's either all or nothing" he whispered and I was standing there watching him. He was a decent guy, a guy I loved… I just knew I wasn't ready yet and I knew I couldn't get married.

"Don't make me choose" I said sobbing. My lip was shaking and his eyes were wet as well.

"It's your decision" Nathan said. He took the annulment papers from my hand and signed where he was supposed to sign and handed them back to me.

"It's on you to decide what you want" he said and I looked up at him through a curtain of tears.

"I want you Nathan" I explained and he smiled softly.

"Don't sign than" he suggested and I was standing there. I was offered an ultimatum and I couldn't believe that Nathan was being serious about this.

"It's all or nothing?"I asked again and he nodded.

We stood there for a while just watching each other.

"I let you decide" Nathan whispered and walked out of our room.

My hand was shaking and I let myself fall on the bed. Tears were running down my face. I was broken and unable to think things through decently. He told me it's all or nothing and I had less than half an hour to decide. I took the annulment papers out and wanted to rip them apart. I couldn't though.

I just wasn't ready. Tears running down my face: I took a pen and signed them. I walked towards the chapel and ran into Nathan.

He was looking at me coldly and I just stood there.

"I'm sorry, Nate" I whispered and my lip was shaking.

"So you decided" he said in a broken voice. I couldn't believe how cold he was now.

"Can't we pretend this never happened?" I asked and he shook his head.

"I can't Brooke" he whispered and I was in total shock.

"I'm not saying no, I'm just saying not yet" I tried to explain through sobs.

"You saying no to me Brooke" he said and tears were in his eyes.

"No Nate" I grabbed his hand and kissed him.

"Brooke" he pulled me away "I love you" he whispered and I smiled through the tears.

"I love you too" I muttered.

"Not enough" he said and let go of me.

I was shaking as I brought the papers to the chapel and paid 200 $ fee for getting the annulment done. I was coming back from the chapel and I knew I couldn't just walk into our room. I asked a page boy to get my baggage and as he came back I asked if someone was in the room. He declined so I walked back and let a letter that I wrote, while the page was gone, on the bed. I looked around the room and tightened the grip around the letter of Victoria Secret. I was going to L.A. to try my luck with them. I just swallowed as I left the room.

I remembered our first kiss and our first fight on the way to the airport. I had to wipe away the tears that never seemed to stop.

_Dear Nathan,_

_I'm sorry that I hurt you, but I am not ready for this huge commitment. I know you can't understand that but I do love you, more than you can ever expect. I leave for L.A. now, the moment you read that letter would probably be the same as my plane will start._

The way Nathan said he loved me, each eye contact and every word was running through my head. I looked out of the window and watched Vegas getting smaller and smaller until it was hidden behind white clouds.

_No matter what you feel towards me now, I still love you and I won't forget you. Please don't let it make you down or change your plans. You should become a great basketball player, because you are great. You have a lot of greatness in you and straight. I'm sorry it didn't work out. I'm just not ready yet._

_Love, _

_Brooke._


	21. Chapter 21

I was holding tight to his hand and he walked me to the airport. He tightened his grip around my arm and I looked up in his brown eyes. His gaze was warm and I felt special every time I saw him.

"Have a nice time in Tree Hill" he smiled at me and gave me a kiss "I'm sorry I can't join you, but I try to reschedule some appointments and come earlier before the wedding. I thought maybe we can spend some time together in Tree Hill. It is such an important part of your life and I want to know everything about you" he smiled and I agreed.

"Alright, I would love to stay at the house there again and see all my friends" I smiled and he nodded and kissed me once again. I needed to fly over, because Owen opened a new bar and he wanted to see me there. He wasn't sleeping anymore and was really dedicated, so it was a must be event.

"Behave" Julian smirked after the kiss and I laughed.

"Right back at you" I said and gave him a warning look.

Four years passed since I left the hotel in Vegas and started my new life. Owen and Rachel frequently visited me and every now and then I went back to Tree Hill to see them and Lucas and Peyton. Haley's tour often led through L.A so I saw her every now and then. Of course I ran into Nathan when I visited Tree Hill. The first time Owen came to see me in L.A. he wanted me to get back to Nathan, but I just couldn't. He told me how broken the guy was over me but I just couldn't help him. He told me it's all or nothing and I wasn't ready for the all he wanted from me. So when I saw my ex for the first time I was surprised. I saw him on Christmas and I ran into him on the street. He was in a pretty good shape.

"_Hey" I said and looked up into his blue eyes, that I've missed so much over the months. My legs were shaking as I saw his lips and his chin again. I even smelled his after shave._

"_Hey" he said coldly and I wanted to take his hand badly, but I knew I couldn't._

"_How are you?" I whispered and he laughed._

"_You left me Brooke, I was broken" he muttered and laughed bitterly "but I got over that" he said and I nodded._

"_Nate, I'm sorry" I said and he shook his head. The snowflakes were falling and built a great contrast to his dark hair._

"_Don't, please" he pleaded and I walked away in agreement. He wasn't ready to see me and the tears on my cheeks proved that I wasn't either._

I looked outside the window and watched L.A. disappear behind the clouds. I knew that I would see Nathan again this weekend and I didn't know what would happen. Our little meet again could be pleasant after all or it could end up in a catastrophe. I just sighed and opened the magazine in my hands. I had my own company and I even had an own magazine: B. Davis. I read the first page. Nathan Scott was in it. He was the new NBA candidate. A lot of rumors were surrounding him and I smirked. It still hurt sometimes to see his face or hear his name. Though 4 years went by and I was in a serious relationship with a decent guy, who was romantic and understanding my breathing faltered when I heard Nathan Scott's name.

As I landed I was greeted by Peyton and Haley.

"Hey girl" Peyton hugged me and I smiled at her and looked up her stomach.

"Turn" I smirked and she showed me her profile. I hugged her and she smiled brightly.

"I hope the girl is growing steady" I teased her and she laughed. I put my hand on her stomach and smirked at the girl.

"Are you happy sweets?" I asked.

"I hope so" Peyton answered instead of her little one.

Haley was beautiful; she had shorter brown hair and looked amazing.

"How are you superstar?" I asked and she hugged me.

"I've missed you B. Davis" she smiled and I remembered that I've just seen her weeks ago, as she was modeling for my magazine.

"You should totally have more gigs in L.A." I laughed and she smirked.

"Chris already bonded with Julian, so I guess that it would be easy to persuade him to come more often" she laughed.

They helped me get my bags and I couldn't stop smile. I was home again.

We stopped at the house, that I bought 3 years ago after I received my first real check for a clothing line that was sold at Marcy's. It was close to Haley's and Peyton's.

"Here we are" Peyton smirked and I noticed a blond handsome guy standing at my door.

"Lucas Scott" I grinned and he hugged me.

"B. Davis herself" he smiled and I let go of him.

"Mr. Soon- Daddy- To- Be and great author" I teased back and he got my baggage.

"So are you all invited to the great opening?" I asked and they nodded. I was glad to be back. We spend some time talking and Peyton was the first to leave. She had an appointment at the studio.

"Boss calls" Haley smirked and followed Peyton. I still couldn't believe that Peyton had her own recording label and Haley was signed there. Lucas and I talked a bit but he had to run for his couch job in Tree Hill.

"You are the new Whitey?" I asked and he looked seductively at me.

"But more handsome than him" he playfully added. I smirked at him and told him that I impatiently was waiting for his new novel and that he couldn't get one written in the gym, but he left with "I'll teach the world otherwise".

I unpacked and checked the clock. It was 9 in the morning and I knew exactly who would sleep right now in his house.

I tip toed through the back door of Owen's and Rachel's place and saw a taller body lying on the bed, face covered with his blanket. I smirked and jumped up on it.

"Surprise" I screamed and a face looked up at me. It wasn't Owen's though. I was speechless and so was the person starring back at me.

"Nathan" I said surprised and he just looked confused.

"Oh my god, I didn't know it was you" I said unable to move.

"You cut your hair" Nathan said and ran his hand through my hair. I shrugged and got up. His touch, was like a knife, it cut into my memory and brought the pain and the loss I felt back.

"Yeah" I smiled uncomfortable and put my hair behind my ear. My body wasn't used to be touched by Nathan anymore and my heart was beating faster.

"I didn't mean to" I apologized for my jumping action "I thought you were Owen"

"It's okay" he just muttered and sat up.

"I crashed here last night after practice" Nathan explained and got up. He was only wearing boxers and I decided to look away.

"Owen doesn't sleep anymore" he just explained and put his jeans on.

"I've heard" I whispered and he pulled his shirt on "You can turn around again" he said and I smiled thankfully.

"You leave?" I asked and he nodded.

"I didn't mean to scare you away" I whispered and he laughed.

"You didn't" he assured me and smiled softly. My heart was hurting me. He looked so handsome. His muscles were more defined and I already forgot how intense his blue eyes were once you found yourself lost in them.

"Rachel is in the living room" Nathan told me and I nodded.

"Thank you" I said and walked out. I had to take some breaths before I could walk over.

"Slut" I smirked at her.

"Bitch" she smiled at me and we both screamed "whore" and ran into a tight hug.

"I've missed you" I muttered and she laughed.

"Well, I already signed for another year in your awesome company" Rachel told me "so you'll see much more from me".

Rachel was one of my models and she was awesome at that. She also had the eyes for new upcoming models and mostly she helped us with that.

"How is your boy or should I say fiancée?" I asked and she laughed as she pointed to the kitchen where Owen obviously slept over the plans of his new bar.

"Poor boy" I said and she rolled her eyes.

"Poor me" she corrected me "I can't hear about his opening anymore". She pointed at the table were wedding magazines met bar supply ones.

"How did you get in anyways?" she asked and Nathan walked out of the guestroom.

"The backdoor was open" he muttered and got his shoes.

"Oh" Rachel said uncomfortable.

"I'll see you all in the evening, have a great time" Nathan said and before he left I tried to tell him he could stay but he waved me off.

"How do you feel?" Rachel asked and I shrugged.

"It's weird to see him, we never really talked about it" I remembered the one time we tried.

"_Nathan, can we talk?" I asked and he just was walking past me._

"_Talk if it makes you feel better Davis" he muttered. It was Owen's birthday party and one year passed exactly after the Vegas accident. _

"_I don't want to feel better" I said and he chuckled._

"_What do you want then?" he asked and walked closer to me. My back hit the wall and I could feel his breath on me. I shivered and looked up in his tortured eyes._

"_Do you want me to say that I still love you?" he asked and his lips were close to mine "I do"_

_I wanted to interrupt him but he just laughed and backed off._

"_You want to tell me that I miss you?" he asked again pressing himself against me and I wanted to answer but he was faster "I do every day"_

"_So why are you crawling back Brooke?" he asked and I didn't know what to say. He was way to close and his warm breath was on my skin._

" _I try to remember to forget you, but I break every time I do. I've been beaten up by you and I can't take this anymore. I'm not masochistic enough to stand here with you and want to touch you, but I can't. You think this is nice?" he asked and I felt his pain I put my hand on his arm and he shivered._

"_I can't be friends if that's what you want" he just smiled evil and ran his finger down my arm._

"_Nathan" I wanted to stop him. Each touch was torturing me just as much as it was killing him._

"_I would love to forget the pain, Brooke" he whispered "How long does it take forget?" he asked and I shrugged. He let his hand fall down and walked away. I was standing there and catching my breath._

I swallowed.

"Is Julian in town?" Rachel wondered and I shook my head.

"He had to work" I smiled. Yeah, I had an awesome boyfriend and he was my future. Nathan was the past and I had to get over this.

"Oh, so you won't stay long?" Rachel pouted and I laughed.

"En contraire" I smiled "he will come here soon and we spend time here together before your wedding! I have thought about opening a store here so yeah we are pretty much here for a bit longer this time"

"That's awesome!" Rachel smiled and hugged me.

"Yeah, he wants to see Tree Hill" I explained and I heard some big footsteps.

"So your boyfriend doesn't come to my great opening?" he asked and I shook my head "I never liked the guy" he teased and pulled me into a hug.

"You love him" I reminded him. Owen was holding tight to me and I smirked. If he hugged me I always felt like I was back in High School.

"Well who cares" Owen laughed against my hair "I'm glad you are finally in town".

"Me too" I agreed and looked at him "And he promised to come soon and watch you walk that beauty down the aisle"

"At least something" he grinned.

"I didn't know it's a homeless dress code" I teased him and looked at his unshaved chin.

"Oh, so you don't like it?" Owen laughed.

"No one does" Rachel agreed and he kissed her neck.

"It tickles" she screamed and I joined the laughter. Yes I defiantly was back in Tree Hill.


	22. Chapter 22

Owen's club was called O's and was a really great night club. We were greeted by blue and red lights at the entrance and noticed the long bar. The bar was made out of rectangles that were lightened in different colors. The DJ already was playing some good music and I smirked at Peyton. We found our group and joined Haley at the bar.

"You look amazing" she smiled and I looked down my black shorts and my white corsage.

"All from my personal line Clothes over Bros" I advertised.

"And doesn't she make advertisement sound casual" Peyton teased me.

"Thanks" I smirked "so do you tutor girl, or should I say stage girl?" I smiled and Peyton grinned.

"Thanks" Haley grinned "it's Clothes over Bros as well" she smirked at me and I sat down beside her.

The guys were talking with Owen and he had to place last orders. Rachel was linked in his arm as they finally joined us. Chris walked over to Haley and gave her a small kiss on her lips. Lucas just kissed Peyton's cheek and put his hand on her stomach. Rachel and Owen were kissing as well, and Nathan and I just stood there.

"It's nice here" I smiled and looked at him. He was wearing a black shirt and blue jeans. He looked casual but also styled. No wonder he was picked best dressed sportsman for my magazine.

"Yeah" he agreed and looked as uncomfortable as I did.

I remembered how his lips felt on mine and needed to concentrate again.

The others stopped and Owen gave each of us a menu. I looked down to the specials and found some familiar names.

Owen named some of the cocktails and shots after us.

"I can drink myself" I laughed and smirked at him.

"Yeah fruity, dangerous and spicy" Haley read the description aloud and I softly punched Owen's arm.

"Aww, that's sweet of you" I grinned.

"And it's a shot, because you are little B" he teased and I grinned at him after showing my tongue.

"I have to try myself" I smirked.

Haley James was a blue cocktail that reminded of her hit "When the stars go blue", Peyton Sawyer was a non alcoholic cocktail because of the baby, Rachel Gatina was a fruit punch, but with more alcohol in it. I smiled as I noticed that he also took the guys in the special. Chris Keller was a beer, because of the tour bus stories that Chris always told. They all started with we had too many beers.

Chris laughed and pulled Haley closer.

"I'm not really that bad?" he asked and she shrugged.

Lucas Scott was a strong cocktail, but with a fruity touch and Nathan Scott was a Long Island Ice Tea, but with some changes.

"You are like a genius, because I want to try each and every one of them now" I smiled and looked at the others who nodded. Nathan was a bit tense but nodded as well.

"One round of Brooke Davis" Owen ordered and a cute bartender mixed us some. All the bartenders wore white and black. There were two guys and two girls behind the counter. The blonde haired boy mixed us our drinks with a big smile. We all put our glasses in the air and cheered to the great opening. We drank it up and I swear it tasted great.

"So guys enjoy the rest of the evening, but I have to go and talk to the crew" Owen said and kissed Rachel.

"I'll help" she smiled at me and hugged me fast before she left.

"I'm glad you are here, it meant a lot to him" she whispered and I smirked.

"I wouldn't have missed this for the world" I answered back and she let go. I walked over and talked to Chris.

"So I'm not the only one who noticed your addiction for bad beer stories" I teased and he grinned.

"Well at least I like myself" he teased referring to the beer in his hand.

"And he just stopped talking about himself in third person" Haley rolled her eyes and he kissed her cheek.

"Well Chris Keller thinks that you might have to deal with it again" he teased and she kissed him back.

Peyton walked over and smirked.

"I'm glad you are back, I bet this wouldn't be half this fun without Miss Cheery here" I laughed at that comment.

"I've missed you too P. Sawyer" I grinned and offered her my seat but she declined.

"You should sit" I ordered and she rolled her eyes.

"You are worse than Luke" she complained but did as she was told.

"Well we want this little girly in there to be spoiled already" I said and looked at Peyton's stomach. She was in her 4th month pregnant, but I wanted her to feel all comfy no matter what. I looked into the mirror over the bar and noticed Nathan talk to Lucas.

"How are they getting along?" I asked Peyton and she had to think whom I was referring to but once she understood she just smiled.

"Great, Nathan was awesome, he helped Lucas find a job that was concentrating on basketball but wasn't focusing on him play basketball, once we found out about the heart condition" she whispered.

"Yeah, Luke told me already" I explained and she looked relieved. Another unpleasant thing Dan did to Lucas.

"Lucas was in a bad place right there, but Nate helped him out" she said and grinned gracefully at her soon to be husband. I smiled and noticed Nathan's eyes on me.

A new song started and I smirked at Peyton "You want to dance?" I asked. She nodded and we left for the dance floor. The music was awesome and Haley swirled me around and we made fun on the dance floor. Soon we were joined by Chris. Lucas came too and I was surrounded with couples, which didn't bother me at first, but then a slow song came and I walked back to the bar.

"A Nathan Scott" I smiled at a dark haired bartender. He just nodded and started to mix it.

"Now I feel like I have to order a Brooke Davis as well" Nathan said and sat down beside me.

"Don't feel obligated" I smirked and it felt so strange to be close to him again. All these years I never managed to get over this feeling. And we were having a meaningless conversation, which seemed to be nice.

"A Brooke Davis! Hanging out with couples isn't that much fun, huh?" Nathan ordered and got his shot as my cocktail was placed in front of me.

"Probably not" I agreed and took my glass in my hand. I couldn't believe we were talking.

"To life?" he asked and moved closer.

"Yeah" I said unsure and we drank. My cocktail was way to strong and after one sip I knew that I shouldn't have order it. I looked at Nathan who was still close to me and felt my heart race. I wasn't sure why I couldn't stop it, but I leaned closer. It was like some mechanism that was reacting by itself. My eyes were lost in his and he smirked suddenly. His eyes were sparking, like I've seen them before, long ago. His face concentrated on mine. I knew that his lips were too near. I had to control myself and he seemed to think the same. I had to swallow and we both pulled away. It was like a vortex that we had to avoid.

"Can I have your attention?" Owen stepped up to the microphone and I got up. This was my rescue.

"I should get closer" I said and walked back to the dance floor.

"First I wanted to thank everyone for showing up" Owen smiled proudly "and I hope you guys enjoy the drinks" he added and everyone applauded.

"And second of all, I want you to meet my fiancée" he caught Rachel's hand and brought her up on stage. I felt a stare behind me. I turned around and noticed Nathan's blue eyes on me; he was standing right behind me. I could smell his after shave and I trembled slightly. I looked back to the stage. I needed destruction right now.

"Say hello, to Rachel" he smirked at everyone and Peyton and I cheered together.

"Well, thank you" Owen winked at us and pulled his arm around Rachel.

"This is the woman who had to tolerate my freaky moods and all the changes about the menu and about the lights and still she never gave up on me" he said and Rachel gave him a kiss.

"Well I hope everyone enjoys this evening, because I surely will" he said and turned the mic off. They came down and walked us to the bar.

"We have something else to do" Rachel smirked "as you know our wedding is in less than a week, you all got invitations so you should know" she explained "I have to ask you now" she looked at me "would you be my maid of honor?".

I was grinning brightly "I would love too" I hugged her and muttered "slut". She laughed and added "you should probably leave that one out in your speech" she teased.

"Well, I already decided who is my best man as well" he looked at me and I followed his gaze as he looked at Nathan.

"Would you?" he asked and Nathan swung his arm around him.

"Thanks man" he smiled and everyone put their glasses in the air.

"To Owen and Rachel" we toasted.

Rachel and Owen left again and Haley and Chris were dancing with Lucas and Peyton and I ended up at the counter with Nathan again.

"Who would have guessed" Nathan said and I leaned against the bar.

"Yeah, but that's totally them, last minute arrangements" I told him "They had a difficult relationship, he was working so hard to get into her heart and now he gets rewarded for that. We were there all the way" I whispered and Nathan tensed.

"I guess" he whispered and I thought back to Vegas, and our marriage. I tensed as well and we didn't talk for a while. The tension between us was killing me. My heart started to beat heavier and I was unable to breathe constantly.

"We are able to pull this through, right?" I asked and Nathan looked confused.

"You mean being best man and maid of honor, giving our history?" I nodded.

"I hope so" he smiled at me.

"It still hurts sometimes" he said and I couldn't resist and take his hand.

"I'm sorry Nathan" I said and my heart was exploding. I wanted to put his hand down again, but he held on to it. I looked up into his eyes and he leaned closer.

"Nathan" I wondered and he looked me deeply in my eyes.

"We will pull this through" he whispered and I felt a shiver run down my spine. I leaned closer and it was like a chemical reaction towards him. I wanted to wrap my arms around him and to kiss him, to feel his hands on me again…

"Brooke" Peyton said behind me and I pulled away. Nathan sat up again as well and Peyton looked suspicious.

"Lucas and I are leaving, should we give you a ride?" she asked and I nodded.

Nathan leaned back against the counter and his face was cold for a moment, I bet mine was too, but I couldn't feel it anymore. My heart was still breaking my chest and I wondered if it would ever stop reacting like this towards him.

"I see you soon" I whispered and he nodded. He was breathing uneven as well. It's all I could have managed. Why was it so hard to be close to him or even to talk to him?

I walked to the dance floor and said goodbye to my friend and hugged Rachel and Owen tightly once again.

"Thanks" I smirked at them and they laughed.

Peyton didn't say anything until Lucas left to get the car.

"_Peyton, my heart seems to explode" I sobbed on my couch and she stroked my hair out of my face._

"_Brooke, it will go away" she muttered._

"_I left him, but I love him" I cried and she wiped away the tears._

"_You weren't ready yet" he calmed me down._

_Peyton was the one I called after I landed in L.A. and she came over as soon as she could to build me up._

"_I'll be always there for you" she muttered "like you were there for me" she repeated._

"Brooke?" Peyton asked and I looked up. One tear was rolling down my cheek.

"I'm okay" I assured her "It's just mixed feelings" I tried to explain how I felt.

"I know" she whispered and put her arm around me.

"Julian will come soon and I hope than it's less messed up" I explained and she smirked. I guess I needed to convince myself.

"It's okay to feel bad for how the things ended with Nathan, even if you are in love with Julian" Peyton told me "it's just who you are Brooke, you never forgive yourself if you hurt people"

"I know" I whispered and Lucas came back in his car.

"Hop in" he smirked and I faked a smile.

The whole ride home was quiet and Peyton wanted to walk me to the door, but I insisted on walking in alone so that she could finally get some rest. I didn't want to bother her with my problems, I just wanted to forget them and she respected that. Lucas grinned and hugged me goodnight.

Some tears escaped my eyes while I walked through the door.

"Surprise" Julian said. He was standing there with a red rose and his bag. I smiled through the tears and he hugged me.

"Are you okay?" he asked "have you been crying?"

I wiped the tears away and swallowed.

"Happy tears" I lied "Rachel made me maid of honor" I said and he tightened his grip around me. It was nice to have him here with me. I put my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes. Tears still were running down my face, but my heart wasn't exploding anymore.


	23. Chapter 23

_Your comments are to everyone who keeps reading, you are all my muses! hope you'll like the update_

* * *

I was just getting ready for the big dinner with the others.

"Owen will pick us up in 20 minutes" Julian sweetly reminded me as I changed my outfit again.

"I know" I said and turned around, so he could open my zipper. He did and kissed my shoulder.

"And this isn't distracting?" I asked and he smirked against my skin.

"Maybe, but it's worth it though" he smiled and I turned around to kiss him.

"Which dress?" I mouthed against his lips and my dress fell down on the floor.

"None" he laughed and pushed me down on the bed.

"Julian" I screamed in surprise and he laughed as well as he kissed my neck. I tried to push him away though my will wasn't that strong.

"Alright" he moaned and let go of me "The black and white one" he said and I got up and put it on.

"You like?" I asked and he walked closer to lock my fingers between his while he held my hand.

"I love" he smiled "and the girl inside the dress is almost as great as the dress" he teased and I kissed him again.

"Good answer" I approved and he let me get ready.

"You look cute" I whispered as I checked the mirror and saw that he started to change his outfit again and had only his boxers on.

"Should I go like that?" he teased and I laughed. It was pretty fresh and easy with Julian. I forgot all the pain and all the sorrow from yesterday. Maybe there were really just some mixed up emotions and I was fine.

"Nah" I decided and looked at my boyfriend again. He was wearing grey pants and a black shirt over a grey t-shirt.

"You look yummy" I smiled and he lifted me up to get another kiss. A car honked in front of the window and I looked down.

"It's them" I grinned put some lip-gloss in my purse and walked down with Julian.

"_I never really told Julian that Nathan was or is in Tree Hill" I whispered to Rachel on the phone in the morning._

"_Why not?" she asked skeptical._

"_It never came up" I said and tried to breathe normal._

"_You mean he never asked if the guy you loved and the reason it took you so long to open up to him was living in Tree Hill?" she asked in her hypothetical voice that was obviously mocking me._

"_Yeah" I pressed out unsure._

"_Brooke" she yelled out of desperation._

"_I know" I whispered._

"_If it feels awkward just say a word in the car, alright?" she suggested and I agreed to that._

We hopped into the car and I sat between Nathan and Julian.

"Hey" Julian greeted everyone.

"Hey" Nathan smiled back at him. It was silent and all we could hear was a song in the radio. Julian placed his hand on my knee and I smiled uncomfortable as I noticed that Nathan was starring down on that knee.

"Word" I whispered and Rachel started to laugh.

"What?" Owen wondered and I just shook my head.

"Forget it" I mumbled.

"You are?" Julian leaned forward to face Nathan.

"Nathan Scott" Nate answered and Julian just nodded.

"Julian Baker" he smiled softly and offered Nathan his hand. They shook hands and I tried to stay calm. This wasn't weird yet, was it? Maybe Julian already forgot that I was dating a Nathan once.

I was relieved as the car stopped. Julian and Nathan both got out and offered me a hand to help me out. I smiled politely at Nathan but took Julian's hand.

"Word?" Julian asked me and I smirked.

"A girl's thing" I explained simply.

"So Nathan, you look forward to the try outs for NBA?" Julian started the small talk. Nathan caught up with us and watched my hand being hold by Julian.

"Sure" he just muttered and then caught himself "excited is more appropriate" he joked and they continued the talk. I just smiled every now and then, but my heart was beating too fast.

"And you are the best man?" Julian wondered.

"Yes, Brooke and I have to help the lovebirds there" Nathan joked "You don't mind, right?" he asked a bit daring and I tightened my grip around Julian and stared Nathan down. If Julian had to know than I should have been the one to tell him.

"Why should I?" Julian smirked at me and kissed my forehead.

"Right" Nathan was wearing his arrogant smirk.

"Hey honey" a brunette girl walked over to him and he kissed her.

I started to breath faster and my heart stopped for a second before it could beat normally again.

"Hello" the girl said to me "I'm Carrie, Nathan's girlfriend" she smiled.

"Brooke" I pressed out and tried to smile. I had to force my mouth angles up. Now I could almost understand how Nathan felt in the car – worst feeling ever.

"Julian" my escort introduced himself "Brooke's boyfriend" he added.

"Nice to meet you" she smiled and looked at Nathan, who just nodded.

"Let's go inside" Owen smiled and walked us into the restaurant. The others were already waiting. It was a Barbeque restaurant with a bull ride and beer columns on the tables.

"Hey" we greeted the others and it was weird that everyone already knew everyone. Julian sat down beside Lucas, because they both thought about going into business together. So they already spent a lot of time and knew each other. I grinned at Rachel, who was seated next to me.

"Still awkward?" she asked and I shook my head - though it was even weirder now. I thought Nathan was single at least the vibe we had yesterday was… I had to stop myself there. I took Julian's hand and smiled at Rachel.

"I'm fine" I assured her and she nodded.

Nathan was sitting opposite to me so I always saw when he watched me. I tried not to look into his eyes knowing exactly how it would affect me. Julian was friendly to everyone and I remembered why I was in love with him. I laughed at his jokes and saw Nathan roll his eyes. It was so hard to ignore his presents. My throat was tightened up once I got a look from him. Once I peeked to him and saw him kiss Carrie and it felt like my heart was breaking slowly.

"What about a bull ride?" Carrie asked Rachel and she nodded.

"I should get some fresh air" I grinned at Julian. I just had to clear my head and my emotions.

"You want me to come with you?" he asked and I shook my head. It's okay. Haley promised to take pictures because Chris was persuaded to bull ride as well.

I walked out and felt a fresh breeze on my skin. I smelled the trees and smiled as I noticed the stars over my head.

"He doesn't know who I am, does he?" I heard a familiar voice.

I turned around and looked at Nathan's face. He seemed hurt and confused. I put my hair behind my ear and bit my both lips inside.

"No" I said in shaky voice.

"Oh" Nathan said bitterly now.

I opened my mouth to say something, but stopped for a while and breathed out.

"He knows, there was a you, and what you meant to me…" I explained "he just doesn't know that you are this you" I added confused.

"Oh" Nathan walked closer and I flinched back.

"Does she know?" I asked and he smirked as he leaned against the railing next to me.

"She does" he just said and I looked into the sky. He was close again and some reaction overtook me and I leaned against the railing too and moved closer to him. A shiver ran down my arms and I hoped it was the wind. Nathan smiled as he turned to face me. I didn't notice how close we were again. I was inches away from him and my hand was trembling. I wanted to… I shook my head and moved away.

"Does she hate me?" I wondered and he laughed turning around and placing his elbows on the railing.

"I don't know" he smirked "does he hate me?" Nathan looked up at me.

"I don't know" I repeated his answer.

We stood there: Together – Alone, unable to speak. Julian walked out and smiled at me.

"Rachel wants you to join and I quote: the madness" he smiled.

"Right" I grinned. I moved away from Nathan and walked inside. I turned around to see if Julian was coming and saw him talk to Nathan.

"You are the guy, aren't you?" he wondered and Nathan looked up "the guy she loved and the one she ran away from?"

"Maybe" Nathan whispered.

"I always wondered who would be the guy" Julian said and looked at Nathan.

"Now you saw him" Nathan just pressed out. He couldn't resist and I was regretting not have told Julian myself.

"I didn't mean to offend you" Julian backed off "It just took for her so long to open up to me and I'm not planning on losing her"

I had to swallow hard.

"I have a girlfriend, if you didn't notice" Nathan told him and I sighed. He was moving on with his life and I already moved on with it.

"Alright" Julian said and walked inside.

"Sorry I didn't…" I whispered and he just put his arm around me.

"I know" he kissed my cheek and I locked my hand into his. We walked back to the others and Rachel took me aside.

"You told him?" she asked as I came back.

"He already figured" I whispered. Rachel smiled at me regretfully and I just shook my head.

"He seems okay with that" I explained and she rolled her eyes.

"Right" she said and I turned around to see Nathan make out with Carrie.

_I saw Nathan's arm pull Rachel towards and his other putting her hair behind her ear. He slowly pulled her closer, so that their bodies seemed to melt into one. I felt my body become numb and my heart race. His lips touched hers and then I saw him open his mouth._

I swallowed and turned back to Rachel. This flash back hurt me again and I could understand why it came to me now. My neck was tense as I faked a smile.

"We are all happy, right?" I asked and forced the smile on my face to stay.

"Come on you need a bull ride" she whispered and I laughed.

"Not in that dress" I blubbered and she softly slapped my back.

Julian's hands found my hips and he smirked at Rachel.

"Can I borrow her for a moment?" he asked and she nodded. He turned me around and led me to the dance floor. We started to dance to a slow song and I put my head on his shoulder.

"Why didn't you?" he asked and I moved my chin on his shoulder.

"Why didn't you tell me that Nathan was the guy?" he asked.

"I don't know" I whispered and he pulled me a bit away to look in my eyes.

"Brooke, I am not mad" he said as he noticed how tense I was.

"How was I supposed to?" I asked and he pulled me back into his arms.

"Should I have introduced him as the guy who almost ruined our relationship?" I asked "Twice"

Julian tensed but kept me moving.

_2 years earlier:_

"_I love you Brooke, and I think you do love me too, or you could love me" Julian said and I stood there with tears in my eyes. I wasn't ready to commit yet, we only dated for a month and he already said the L word. _

"_But you are just too stubborn and too scared to admit it" he continued while I was searching for words: any words that entered my mind._

"_Because the last time you gave your heart to someone it got broken" I nodded. I didn't notice the movement of my head._

"_But somewhere along the way you gave up to feel like this again" he said and I stood there unable to say anything at all. _

"_You loved him, I know you did...sometimes you tell him in your dreams and it hurts Brooke" he explained._

"_What?" I wondered._

"_His name was Nathan right?" he asked and I bit my tongue but nodded._

"_I need you to open up to me, tell me that there is a chance that you could love me"_

"_I can't yet" I just whispered and he left._

_But eventually he came back and he was willing to wait for me and that was something I hoped someone would do._

"It doesn't matter if he isn't going to ruin us this time" he muttered.

"He won't" I promised as I saw Nathan's grip tighten around Carries body and kissed Julian's neck.

"You should have told me" he muttered and I nodded.

"I know" I said and we danced together until the song ended. Julian pulled my face up and kissed me.

"I love you, Brooke Davis" he smiled and I grinned.

"I love you too, Julian Baker".

"No more secrets?" he asked and I agreed.

He put his arm around me and walked me back to the table. I smiled as I sat down and Nathan's gaze caught me. He was looking right through me and I couldn't help but stare back. It was like a curse and I could feel the pain growing inside me. His arm was around Carrie and I was in Julian's arm as well, still I felt much closer to him right now. I looked down to escape this glare and smiled at Julian. Peyton was telling him all the different names that they talked through.

"Sawyer?" I linked myself into the conversation and she nodded.

"Sounds cute" Julian smiled and I leaned against him.

_Owen and Rachel smirked when they saw me in Nathan's arms. It was an unusual situation for us, but it didn't feel awkward. My back was leaned against his chest and his hands were on my arms._ A flash back came into my mind and I sat up again smirking at him.

"Well if she becomes a Scott she has to save her last name" I laughed and he stroked my arms.

"I guess" Peyton laughed.

I was glad that Nathan didn't drive back with us. Owen stopped in my drive way and let us out.

"See you tomorrow" Rachel smirked and I nodded.

Owen grinned at me and I winked. I was helping him with his suit as well. They drove off and I walked with Julian into the house.

"It was an eventful evening" I grinned at him as I let myself fall down on the couch.

"Yes" he said and sat down beside me. I was cuddled in his arms and we watched a TV show as it knocked on our door.

I opened to find Nathan on the other side. He looked tense at me.

"Can we talk?" he asked and I turned back to see Julian's gaze on me.


	24. Chapter 24

_Thanks for your reviews! you all are a great inspiration for me and the story!_

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I nodded unsure and wanted to walk out but Nathan walked in. He just stepped inside really close to me and I my heart started to race.

"I have no problem with Julian listening" Nathan stated and my boyfriend sat up and watched him. One could probably smell all the adrenalin in this room and all the tension between the both of them. I knew that it would probably lead to no good if they stay here together.

"Maybe we still should talk outside" I considered and Julian watched me carefully. I guess it was hard on him to hear me say something like that.

"Don't be mad" I turned to face him "it's just I want to know what's up without audience and I'll tell you anyway, so" I explained and he nodded.

"I wanted to get some ice cream anyway" he whispered a bit bitter at Nathan but got his coat and walked out. Before he closed the door he looked once again at Nathan and me, but nervously stepped outside.

"Not mad" he mouthed at me and I sighed in relieve.

The room was only lighted by the TV that ran in mute only.

"Talk" I said and Nathan looked up at me. I was still threatened by his force of attraction and was unable to behave normal with him around.

"I know I said all these weird things, like I'm not able to be friends" he started and I felt a shiver. His voice was shaky and he seemed to be just as tortured as I was.

"You did" I remembered and felt helpless and he shook his head.

"We are weird together Brooke" he muttered and I nodded. I was relieved that it wasn't just me who felt that way.

"I miss you" he muttered the last part and I was frozen in shock. He missed me. The words rang in my head and I noticed that I did too; I missed his smile and his voice when we talked.

I was afraid that I could bruise right there in front of him.

"We were apart long enough and I think I'm over it, my ego will be too soon" Nathan whispered and I swallowed down.

"I know you are dating Julian and that you are happy I respect that, all I want is a chance to be friends again, if you still want to" he explained and I felt how his heart was racing inside. He was happy for me? I should be happy for that and I kind of was.

"Could this work?" I asked insecure "considering all that had happened?" and he nodded.

"I bet it does" he whispered "will you give me a chance to prove you that we could be friends?" he asked and I felt my body vividly reply to this. I was happy that he wanted this and I hoped that we could make it. Nathan and I could be friends, I tried to convince myself.

"Okay" I stuttered and he grinned. My hands were shaking. I had him back in my life and maybe this was all I wanted.

"Okay?" he reassured and I nodded.

"Maybe the weirdness is there because we try to avoid each other" I explained and he breathed out in relieve. Nathan and I were friends.

"I hoped you would say so" he smiled.

"It felt normal to talk to you now" I smirked softly and my hands were still shaking. He was tortured by this weirdness just as much as I was. A stone fell down my chest and I walked over to hug him.

His arms were tight around my body and I was standing on my tip toes. I inhaled his after shave and felt his warmth against me. I closed my eyes for a second and opened them. I shouldn't close my eyes after all it was a friendly hug. I surrendered from his embrace and walked 2 steps back.

"We try" I smiled.

"Maybe we could spend some time together with Rachel and Owen? Go to movies or maybe watch a movie at home, like in old times" Nathan asked and I nodded.

"Tomorrow?" I asked insecure and a smile on Nathan's face grew bigger.

"Sounds nice" he added.

"Does Carrie know?" I wondered and he nodded.

"It was kind of her suggestion: she wondered why I couldn't be friends with you" he explained "she was a bit jealous" he muttered.

"Oh" I said and my heart beat was up again.

"Well she wondered why we weren't friends and I noticed that it's just my ego that stands in the way" and Julian walked in.

"Hey" I smiled at him and Nathan turned around.

"Everything is okay?" Julian checked and I nodded. He was still tense and he had no ice cream in his hands, I bet he just needed a walk.

"My ego and I should leave" Nathan grinned at me and I smiled.

"You can stay you know" I suggested and Julian looked confused.

"No thanks, I should let you both go back to being all cozy" Nathan smirked and walked out. He was really over it. He smiled at my boyfriend and closed the door after he walked out.

"What happened?"Julian asked and I collected words to make clear what just happened.

"He asked if we could be friends" I said and Julian tensed.

"It's just we are ignoring each other and for the wedding and stuff we probably should get along, and we were friends before we dated so he suggested being friends again…like I wanted it before and…" I blubbered and Julian put his arms around me.

"As long as you are just friends" Julian muttered and I smirked.

"Sure, I love someone else" I whispered and put my hand on his chest.

"Who is the lucky guy?" he asked and I kissed him.

"As long as I am the one and you are happy I don't care who you are friends with" he smiled and I nodded.

"Thanks" I whispered "and you are the one"

Julian lifted me up and walked me into our bedroom. I giggled and he kissed my ear and my collarbone.

"Okay you really want me to show you how much I love you?" I teased and ran my fingernails down his back.

"So how do you guys plan on being friends?"Julian asked and stroke over my arm with his finger.

"I don't know, maybe hang out and talk?" I bit my lip.

"Alone?" he raised his eyebrow.

"You wouldn't be jealous, right?" I wondered and he looked away.

"Maybe" he honestly agreed and I kissed him.

"You don't have to, Nathan and I, we are so 4 years ago, you and I we are now" I smiled and kissed his chest.

"I hope…" Julian trailed away.

"You trust me, right?" I asked and he turned to me and kissed my lips softly.

"Of course I do" he mumbled against my lips and I smiled.

"That's good!" I grinned.

"I don't trust him" he muttered again and I laughed. It was the first time I saw Julian's jealous side and I thought it was cute. He pouted and his lips were just so kissable, I couldn't resist.

"He has a girlfriend" I reminded him and tensed a bit. This was true, Nathan was dating and so was I.

"Yeah, but she's no you" he rolled his eyes. It was so sweet how Julian saw me as this wonderful woman. I smiled brightly at his words and couldn't believe how lucky I was. Who cared if Nathan was dating Carrie, I had a wonderful man here with me.

"It's good to know you wouldn't trade me in for her" I agreed and Julian kissed my shoulder.

"Never" he promised and hugged me tighter "if you have to be friends with him, I'm okay with that"

"Thanks" I whispered and put my head on his chest. I could tell he meant every word of it and it was nice to know he did.

"He asked if we could watch a movie or something tomorrow, you have plans with Luke anyway, haven't you?" I asked and Julian kissed my head.

"Sure" he whispered and I slowly closed my eyes. In Julian's warm and secure arms it was just so easy to fall asleep.

Julian stood there as I got ready to go. I put on my jeans and a blouse that was casual and looked at him through the mirror.

"You know if people wouldn't know you, they could think you are jealous" I said and he walked closer.

"I said I am, but I trust you" he kissed my neck and I smiled. It was so sweet that he really was jealous and it made me feel even more loved, because he wanted me to be happy even if it was harder for him.

The door rang and Lucas was already waiting for him.

"See you later" I smiled at Julian and he kissed me.

"Behave" he mocked and I nodded.

My phone rang and Rachel was on the other line.

"Hey girl" she greeted me.

"Hey" I smiled back and I could feel that she tensed.

"How come I meet you and Nathan in an hour?" she asked and ambiguity was in her voice.

"Nathan and I try to be friends" I explained and I could hear her eyebrows being raised through the phone. My voice was calm and cheery at the same time. I bet the silence and the search of words was her way to show me she cared about me.

"Really" I reassured her but she wasn't satisfied.

"And you think this is really a good idea, B. Davis?" she wondered and I took a breath.

"I really do" I told her and she had to think for a moment. She took some seconds to decide her position on this.

"Billiard café" she insisted and I laughed. She didn't let me know if she was pro, con or undecided.

"Alright" I smirked and heard her breath out again. It was hard on her obviously.

It knocked on my door and Owen was standing in the frame.

"Hey Shorty" he greeted me and I felt like 18 again. It was the usual routine 4 years ago, being picked up by him or Nathan to spend the evening together. Today I and Nathan were just friends hanging out with friends and I still was sure that this would be nice. At least I hoped so. The weirdness between Nate and me had to vanish, or I would fall apart slowly.

"Hey" I smiled at the big guy and he led me to the back door of his car and opened it for me.

"Thank you" I smiled and Rachel who was in the front seat smirked.

"You look good" she said and I smiled even more. Her voice was normal and not as worried as before.

"True" Nathan who was sitting next to me agreed and I watched Rachel's eyes roll in the mirror. Okay maybe a bit less worried.

"Thanks" I smiled and Owen closed his door so Rachel could drive off.

The ride was pretty nice, Owen told us about his club and Rachel was talking about her family being in town. All the words were like whispers because I was excited to see how Nathan and I would behave now, I couldn't believe my heart was still pounding like crazy and that my thoughts were trailing away from the conversation to him. I quickly looked up at him and he smirked.

I felt blood run through the veins of my cheeks and Owen turned back.

"Did you even hear a word I said?" he asked and I looked up.

"Sure" I lied and Rachel joked.

"Everyone is already sick and tired of your cocktail stories, honey" she mocked him and he kissed her cheek.

"Okay, so can anyone tell me, why we are doing this?" Owen asked and everyone tensed.

"I mean, since when are the two of you friends? And why are we involved?" he wondered and I cleared my throat.

"Well, we thought that maybe it would be nice to spend time together like in good old times" I whispered and Rachel laughed at my shyness.

"He is just trying to make everyone wish he talks about cocktails again, plus making you uncomfortable like he so often did before" she explained and I breathed out. Nathan was chuckling beside me.

"What?" I asked.

"That was cute Davis, well we thought…eh...we" he imitated my voice and I slapped his arm.

"Shut up" I just pouted and he chuckled louder.

"Like old times" Owen rolled his eyes and Rachel stopped the car.

"We're here" she said and our boys just noticed where we were.

"No!" Owen and Nathan screamed together and Rachel and I laughed.

"Hell yes" we said and walked out.

"See I thought we wanted to be friends" Nathan said as I scored the red ball into the hole.

"That doesn't mean I let you win" I kicked my eyebrow. Rachel laughed and Owen shook his head.

"Couldn't we have played in my club, this way I wouldn't lose either way" he complained.

"That's it" Rachel said and kissed his pouting lip "it is fun to watch you guys lose"

Owen grabbed her and tickled her a bit.

"I agree" I smirked and scored again.

"What you want to drink now?" Nathan asked and his face was covered in shock but he still was wearing a big smile.

"An ice tea" I smiled and everyone looked shocked at me.

"What?" Rachel asked.

"A long island" I added and Owen laughed.

"Or a Nathan" Owen corrected me.

"No, have had that one already" I said and Rachel and Owen made funny noises, like a stone crashing down.

"And now you hurt his ego" Owen laughed. Nathan turned around and grinned.

"Nah, I think Brooke Davis doesn't do it for me either" he grinned "we're rather friends" he smirked and I bit my lip. I felt good today, I almost forgot the whole drama with him and Julian only sent me one message telling me that he misses me.

Nathan came back with different cocktails and put them on the table.

"Tomorrow we will have a little gathering at my house" he smiled brightly and looked down on his phone.

"What?" Owen asked surprised and I wondered what was going on.

"Carrie called: I'm going to New York" he smiled "I made it to the second round"

I was so happy for him; I walked over and put my arms around him.

"That's awesome" I whispered and he nodded against my shoulder. I felt his breath on my skin and shivered. His warmth and his scent were intoxicating me. I felt his grip tighten and smirked. I just couldn't believe I really missed being in his arms. Friends were supposed to be happy for each other I told myself and his head just moved a bit as I as well tightened my grip around him.

Rachel fake coughed and I let my hands fall down. Maybe it wasn't how friends were happy for each other though.

"You deserved to be picked" I whispered as I collected myself and playfully slapped his shoulder. I guess I hoped that this gesture would erase the other one.

"To Nathan" Owen raised his glass.

"To Nathan" Rachel walked close to me and gave me a warning look. She was the voice of sanity in this one I bet, and actually if I pictured my sanity voice it wasn't Rachel. It would be Haley, totally Haley.

"To you" I smiled at him and felt guilty for a moment. Miss sanity was right the embrace wasn't how friends were supposed to behave.


	25. Chapter 25

_Hey guys, thank you a lot for your comforting words and that you ship all the different couples in here. Your reviews always make me smile and keep me writing...  
_

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Julian's grip was tight as we walked towards Nathan's house.

"You know, I think we hang too much out with him" Julian laughed and I knew he was just joking. His grip was tight but he squeezed my hand gently as a smirk escaped his mouth. We talked about the evening I spent with Rachel, Owen and Nathan and he seemed okay with it.

"We are happy for a friend, nothing more" I whispered and showed him the flowers in my hand. He smirked at me waving with the bottle of wine.

"Got it" he breathed out "Just tell me yesterday sucked again"

"I can't it would be a lie, but I've missed you…is that enough?" I wondered once again, we have had this conversation already. Julian bit his lip and left me hanging for a moment.

"I guess it does" he smiled and kissed my cheek.

"I'm glad" I laughed and rang the bell.

"Hello, hello, come in" Carrie greeted us and I gave her the flowers.

"Thanks for inviting us" I smiled and saw Nathan walk out. He looked nice in his suit pants and a red dresser shirt. She was wearing a white dress that looked just stunning; it was a C over B dress. I smiled at her and actually wished she was wearing something else. I wondered why the voice inside my head was always comparing myself with her.

"Come in, come in, the rest is here already" he smirked imitating his girlfriends voice and she gave him a daring look.

"Come in" he said in his normal voice and I walked with Julian into the living room.

"Hey Brooke" Haley said to me and I walked over to her.

"Me and Peyton thought you might be preoccupied" she mocked me.

"Making some Davis?" Peyton laughed and I playfully slapped Haley's arm.

"Why me?" she wondered.

"I don't slap pregnant girls" I fired back.

"Win win" Peyton cheered and Lucas rolled his eyes.

"They just wondered why you are late" he muttered under his breath.

"Congratulations" Julian smiled and handed Nathan the bottle of wine.

"Thank you" the dark haired smiled back and put the bottle away. He could have been more politely I guess, but he offered us a glass and we cheered to his achievements. We talked about every little detail of his screening process and Chris sometimes complained that he never was into sports, but all his male friends now are basketball players so maybe he should start and Julian agreed. Lucas told him how unimportant this was. Of course he had to say so, he couldn't play anymore. Lucas was talking about filming his second novel with Julian's help and they both seemed to have a wonderful discussion.

"I should get the cake" Carrie smiled and got up.

"I'll help you" I offered and she nodded her head. I walked after her and got some plates out.

"It's really depressing" she muttered and I wondered what she meant. She noticed my look and breathed in.

"Well everyone here thinks you're awesome and I hoped they were just exaggerating" she laughed uncomfortable.

"And that's depressing because?" I was feeling like I missed a joke. I held the plates in my hand and watched the brunette carefully. The voice inside my head was happy though, it was like she made me win the contest.

"I felt compared to you all this time" she just explained.

"Well, you lived up to their standards" I smiled and looked back at the filled living room.

"I don't think I could ever replace you" she whispered.

This was good, because I really didn't want to be replaced.

"You don't have to, because I am me, and I am here, but they like you for you" I grinned and before Carrie could say anything else Peyton walked in.

"You have some aspirin?" she asked and I walked over to my friend.

"What's wrong?" I asked and she was holding her tummy.

"Just this one likes to swim I guess" she whispered.

"May I?" I asked and she nodded. I put my hand on her stomach and felt a little movement.

"Oh she is strong" I muttered "a real Sawyer" I grinned at my friend.

"I just hope she won't hit her way out" Peyton pressed out. She was only in her 5th month and I wondered if babies were supposed to move like that, but Peyton reassured me that this was normal.

"Sorry he is out of aspirin" Carrie muttered in regret after she searched through the whole kitchen.

"You are not living with Nathan?" I wondered and she shook her head. That surprised me.

"Oh" I said and wanted to say something less dumb, but I was interrupted.

"I have some" Haley smiled and got them out of her purse.

"I had to escape the madness back then, they fight whom they could beat by playing in the NBA" she rolled her eyes "And Rachel tries to convince them to live in reality"

"They are kind of annoying" Chris smirked at her and sat down on a bar stool.

"Chris?" we all wondered and he just shrugged.

"I became musician because I sucked at sports" he admitted and we all laughed.

"I knew it Keller" Rachel whispered and I turned around.

"Okay we all hide in the kitchen, while they reserve the living room" Carrie laughed and put out the cake "we should end this"

"I agree" Haley nodded and helped her with the plates she took from my hands. I got a glass of water and gave it to Peyton.

"Is she slowing down?" I asked and she shook her head.

"She likes to be in the spotlight" Peyton teased her stomach.

"Maybe she is mine after all" Chris laughed and Peyton rolled her eyes.

"In your dreams Chris" she whispered.

"Sweetheart, whatever you said, take it back" Haley's voice was heart and I laughed. It was cute how Haley always knew when she had to shut Chris down. He rolled his eyes but didn't say another word. She really had some great influence on him.

The cake tasted great and I smirked at Julian.

"So you were talking sports?" I wondered. I knew he hated to talk about sports, and if he did he just tried to impress someone.

"Actually I was talking business" he smirked at me and kissed my nose.

"I agree" Lucas said and Peyton smiled. She gave me a "sure" look and I laughed. It was nice to sit with my friends and eat.

"I think my little girl likes the cake" she whispered to me and I smiled.

"Brooke, can we have the cake tasting tomorrow?" Rachel asked and this was our code for the dress so I nodded. I was done with hers and needed only some stitches for the bridesmaids.

"I'll call the bakery and find out, but I guess it should be okay" I smiled and she breathed out in relieve. She knew I would give her a call and I saw Owen smirk, I bet he knew what we were talking about, but nevertheless it was a masquerade for its sake.

"You guys still think about Friday, it's the rehearsal dinner" Rachel reminded me "and the parents bitching around about the bride and maid of honor, are mine and Brooke's" she added. I rolled my eyes. I already forgot Victoria was invited. Actually she invited herself, so there was a chance she wouldn't show. On the other hand she liked Rachel's parents so there my dreams vanished.

"I apologize for everything my mum will say or do" I whispered. And my friends started to laugh. I really could see her tear them all apart, this was her kind of sport and she was unbeaten champion.

After a while I was in Julian's jacket outside and thought about seeing my mother again. I apologized to get some fresh air and Julian was with me, but then Chris had some thought s about a movie which was called "On the Road" and took him away from me. I haven't seen my mother for a while. I wondered what she would have to say to me or if she would talk to me at all.

"Thinking about your mum?"Nathan asked and sat down beside me. It was like he could read my thoughts and I shrugged. It was weird how much I really missed to talk to him.

"Haven't seen her for a while" I mumbled and he nodded. He was calm and thought for a while.

"I know the feeling" he smirked. I felt like I was talking to a good friend, I knew that his parents were similar to mine

"She wanted to sue me to get the brand and my company" I explained "I won" I added "and she left"

"Sorry Brooke" he put his arm around me.

"How's Deb?" I asked looking up at him. I felt the warmth of his arm and was relaxed again.

"In rehab, again" he mumbled and I placed my hand on his chest.

"Sorry" I mouthed.

"Don't be" he said and looked me.

"You are happy right?" he asked and I thought for a moment.

"I guess I am" I answered and watched him look at the clock.

"I've missed being friends with you B. Davis" he said and got up.

"Nathan, what's going on?" I wondered and felt cold drops on my body. The sprinklers went on and Nathan was laughing hard.

"That's payback for make me lose yesterday" he chuckled.

I was running towards him and trying to make him hit the floor, but he simply lifted me up and ran me to the middle of the lawn. I tried to hit him with my fists and make him put me down.

"Is that all you got?" he joked and I hit him harder.

"Let me down" I screamed and my legs were dangling in the air.

"I want you to put me down" I screamed again.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked and laid me down in the middle of the lawn.

"Oh wait, you'll pay" I said ran again towards him and pushed him down. He got hold of me and I fell as well. We were lying in the grass and breathing heavily. He moved closer to me. Our breathing was unsteady and I kicked him once again with my foot. He chuckled and moved closer.

We were still catching our breath and I saw his eyes sparkle at mine. I bit my lip and laughed.

"You are a bad loser" I pressed out between the breaths.

"I know" he agreed and moved closer, he stroked my cheek with one finger.

"You have a whish free" he smiled and showed me a lash.

"Wow" I smiled. Nathan's lips were so close I could feel the air he breathed on mine. I was emotionless and his heart was beating so loud that I could even hear it, or it was way to close. My head moved closer to him and I hesitated for a moment before blowing the lash away from his finger. We were wet and the cold wind made me feel uncomfortable, though Nathan's presents and him being so close felt so right. The sprinklers were still working and we were getting wetter by the seconds and I moved closer. My lips were almost touching his and he smiled a bit. His lips were just millimeters away from mine. I could tell that just a breath was all it would take until we would touch.

"Brooke" I heard my name being called from Julian and sat up.

"I should get inside" I said fast and walked away before I could look back at Nathan.

"Hey" I said to Julian and linked myself in his arm. Julian wondered why I was wet and I just kissed him. My body was still tense from before and I needed to kiss him. I needed to focus on my boyfriend. Nathan walked inside, I saw him from the side of my eyes. Owen looked suspicious and pulled Nathan out.

"Where have you been?" he wondered and Nathan mumbled something I couldn't get. I let go of Julian and he smiled.

"How did I deserve that?" he wondered and I shrugged.

"Did you get under the sprinkler?" he wondered as he put my hair behind my ears.

"Yup" I smiled softly and glanced at the door where Nathan and Owen were talking, Rachel joined them and I wondered what they were talking about.

"Julian" Lucas yelled from the couch and Julian smirked.

"Planning Owen's groom shower" he whispered and I nodded. Haley linked her arm in mine.

"They will have a stripper, we are too right?" she whispered and Peyton also walked over.

"What about…" she talked and Haley agreed every now and then, but my thoughts trailed away to Nathan and Owen. They seemed to have a discussion and I wondered what they were talking about. Rachel seemed really vivid at the subject and I watched her walk inside.

"Brooke" Rachel's voice was heard and I excused myself from the girls.

"Hey" I whispered and she looked at me.

"Owen and I are driving home now, and I'll see you tomorrow, right?" she asked and I nodded.

"What did you talk about?" I wondered and pointed towards Nathan and Owen.

"Nothing important, we just care for you okay?" she whispered.

"How do you mean that?" I asked.

"Owen just cares about you and he wanted to make sure, Nathan is just friends with you" she mumbled.

"Thanks guys" I said as Owen joined "but I can take care for myself" I added and watched Nathan walk inside, his hair was wet and he looked innerved.

"We hope so" Owen said and hugged me.

"Be careful B. Davis" he smiled at my ear.

"I promise" I whispered and hugged Rachel goodbye.

Julian and I were the last ones there; we watched old basketball games with Carrie and Nathan. It was fun to see how Nathan used to play when he was a Raven.

"You still have the uniform?" Julian laughed at me and I kicked my elbow against his rips.

Nathan tensed beside me and I tried to over play it.

"Maybe if you behave, I'll show you my uniform" I kicked my eyebrow and Julian pulled me closer.

"We should probably go" Julian said as he saw me yawn.

I just nodded and he helped me up.

"Thanks for your sweet invitation" I smiled at Carrie and she nodded.

"You're welcome" she smiled and hugged me goodbye. It felt strange. Her hug was just as Haley's or Peyton's, but I wanted to escape her as soon as possible. She also hugged Julian and Nathan threw his arms around me. I enjoyed that hug, but pushed him away by putting my hand on his chest.

"Bye" I bit my lip and linked my arm into Julian's as we left.


	26. Chapter 26

_A longer chapter! hope you guys still like the story_

* * *

I was standing in Karen's cafe. Lucas rented it to me, so I could have opened the Clothes over Bros store in Tree Hill. I was really impressed how it has been fixed up in the month. Rachel was standing in front of me in a gorgeous white dress.

"You are wearing a show topping satin mermaid gown featuring ruching to the midriff and down to the very full skirt" I showed her "A satin over skirt is shaped to the front to reveal several layers of organza beneath" I smiled and she nodded as she turned around.

"To the back is corset style lacing and a large satin with an organza train" I showed her the back with a second mirror pointing at the large one "and it's clothes over bros" I added proudly.

"Thanks Brooke" she said and I took a brooch out and place it on the corsage. It was a blue flower.

"Now you can thank me" I teased and she hugged me.

"So you like?" I whispered and she tightened the grip.

"Gosh, it's beautiful" she smiled brightly.

"Are you done with the bridesmaid's dresses as well" she asked and I disappeared behind the curtain and walked out in a dark blue dress.

"A soft and fluid chiffon empire line dress with feature embroidery to the halter neck bodice" I explained as I turned in front of her.

"That's amazing" Rachel smiled and I got changed again and helped her out of her dress.

"I'm glad you like it" I smirked and she nodded.

"I love them, though I didn't believe you can make them this fast or this beautiful" she admitted and I laughed.

"Well, don't underrate me" I teased and as we were dressed normal again I pointed at the table with different cakes.

"You have another decision to make as well" I teased and we sat down on a white sofa with champagne in our glasses.

"I should still fit the dress" she smirked as she saw the amount of cakes.

"We can fix it" I winked at her and she rolled her eyes.

We first cut a piece from a pink cake.

"Madagascar vanilla bean cake, vanilla bean, butter cream raspberry preserve, satab ribbon, handmade sugar blossoms" Rachel read the card and we tasted it.

"It tastes awesome" I said and she laughed.

"So how did it go with Julian?" she asked and I signed.

"He is awesome, he understands that I am friends with Nathan now, but he also worries a bit" I explained.

"Just friends?" Rachel asked and I took another piece of cake.

"Meyer lemon cake, 'Duchy Originals' lemon curd, vanilla bean butter cream" I read aloud and we tasted it both.

"It's not the one" we both agreed after one bite and laughed.

"Too…"I searched for the word.

"Lemony?" she grinned and I nodded. We took a sip from our glasses.

"Does he have something to worry about?" Rachel asked in another way and I took a big sip from my glass.

"No" I said and paused "no" I repeated shaking my head and she gave me a suspicious stare.

"It's weird with Nathan around, but I think it's just unusual to see him as a friend again" I whispered and my eyes tightened between the words.

"Madagascar vanilla bean cake, chocolate butter cream, grosgrain ribbon, handmade sugar roses,  
diamante brooch" Rachel offered me a bite.

"That's it" I smiled and she nodded.

"I think so too" she cheered and we drank another glass of champagne.

"Unusual or hard?" she asked after a while.

"A mix of both" I pressed out. I felt tipsy already. I wasn't sure if I should have answered that, but I still did.

"Brooke" Rachel said worried and I looked up at her and smiled.

"I love Julian" I said and she nodded. That was what she wanted to know. I could have a killer as my boyfriend as long as he made me happy she would have loved him. She loved Julian and she saw how happy he made me, she just wanted to be sure that I still was in love with him. If I would have said no, she would have searched for a way to make me happy. That just the way she was. That was probably the reason she talked to Nathan, so she knows he is happy too.

"Good" she whispered and for a moment we sat there in silence eating the cake.

"So the last cake it is" she smiled as she changed the subject.

"But the ribbon has to be blue" I told her and she nodded. She pulled me into a hug.

"Thanks" she smirked "for being a kick ass maid of honor" she smiled and I nodded.

"You are welcome" I told her and she let go of me.

"You should go back to your fiancée and let me finish the rest of the stuff" I ordered as I saw her worried face. She stood tense at the door.

"I love him" I reassured Rachel and she nodded.

"No regrets?" she asked.

"No regrets!" I answered and she left.

The door flew open and Owen walked inside.

"Sorry I am late, I had to pretend to stop by the bar and she wanted me to get something from there" he laughed.

"It's okay" I smiled and he hugged me.

"So, can I see the dress?" he teased me.

"Hell no" I pushed him away.

"It was worth the try" he smirked and I got his suit out.

"Try this one on" I ordered and he made a bow and disappeared behind the curtains.

I waited until he came out. He was wearing a black tux and a white dress shirt, with a blue tie, exact the same color as the brooch I gave Rachel.

"You look marryable" I smirked.

"It's not even a word, but still what I was going for" Owen smiled and I grinned as I offered him a glass of champagne.

"To your marriage" I toasted and he drank it with me.

"Are you scared?" I wondered as we sat down.

"No" he smiled at me and added "a bit"

"It would have surprised me, if you weren't" I said and he rolled his eyes.

"I just hope she won't change her mind" he said a bit worried.

"She loves you, so she won't" I explained.

"You loved Nathan and you left" he whispered and the second he got the words out he wished he hadn't said them. I took a big sip and had to catch my breath.

"I was young" I muttered "and I married because I was drunk, you and Rachel are different"

"But now you have Julian and you are happy with him, right?" Owen asked.

"Yes" I agreed confused. It was like Owen had heard my talk with Rachel and had to be a good friend by reassuring the information himself.

"What if Rachel doubts that I am the one?" he wondered.

"She must be blind than" I just stated and looked at him "she loves you" I said and put my hand on his shoulder.

"He still loves you too, you know" Owen muttered and I looked up.

"I hope he does, he is my boyfriend" I smirked and got a sip.

"No, not Julian, Nathan" he said and I froze for a moment.

Owen sat there drinking his champagne and I needed seconds to collect myself.

"Well, I think he likes me like a friend" I convinced myself and looked at him and saw his tortured smile.

"Right" he whispered. I had to convince him that Rachel wouldn't run away from him and I took a deep breath.

"You made her say yes already, I think this was the hardest step and she loves you, so she will say yes in the church as well" I told him.

"I know" he smiled and poured some champagne into our glasses.

"To my wedding" he toasted.

"To your wedding" I smiled and we drank.

As Owen left I was pretty drunk already and the door went open again. I was eating cake on the sofa and looked up.

"Shouldn't the bride try out the cake?" Nathan chuckled and I swallowed.

"She did" I told him "I just was hungry" I explained and he laughed.

"How can I help you?" I asked and put the plate with the cake away. I tried to think clearly and act sober.

"I need some changes with my suit" he said and showed me the bag.

"You should put it on then" I suggested and showed him to the curtains. He nodded and left.

"So did Julian like your cheer uniform?" Nathan joked behind the curtains, but I could swear his voice was strained.

"No, he didn't see it yet" I took another bite of the cake. It was the lemon one, great. I wanted to wash away the taste and took a big sip of champagne, even better. I rolled my eyes because of my very thought through actions.

Nathan walked out and smiled at me.

"Done" he said and I looked at him. He had a black suit on with a blue dress shirt, which was the exact color as were the bridesmaid's dresses.

"What is the problem?" I asked and he smirked down the pants.

"They are a bit vast" he said and I brought him a stool and he got on top of it. I started to stick the needles where I should shorten the pants. I was touching him and smelling him. My heart raced again and I started to count inside my head, so I was preoccupied in my thoughts. Memories kept coming back to me. Of the first time he said he loved me…78, our last and first kisses… 99...100.

"_He still loves you too, you know" Owen muttered and I looked up._

"_I hope he does, he is my boyfriend" I smirked and got a sip._

"_No, not Julian, Nathan" he said and I froze for a moment._

"I need you to spread you legs" I said uncomfortable and he laughed. His laughter rang in my ears and my heart ached -127.

"Shut up" I warned him "I have sharp instruments in my hands" I showed him. I was willing to overplay this. I loved Julian. I knew I did and I would never make him doubt me.

"Alright" he said and held his hands up in the air.

"Done" I said after a while and he got down. I breathed out in relieve. My self control was starting to fade away -200.

"Can I get a glass of champagne as well?" he asked behind the curtains.

"Sure" I politely agreed and as he walked out I held a glass in front of him. Friends were supposed to have a glass of champagne together, alone…209.

"Thanks" he smiled and took the glass touching my hand. His heart was beating as crazy as mine as he pulled my hand closer and my body as well.

"So which cake won?" he asked and I needed to concentrate hard to get words out of my mouth. It was more like breathing and less like words.

"The blue one" I whispered it was almost just a waft. I was tight in his grip and he leaned closer.

"How did it taste?" he asked and I felt his breath on my face and my eyes tightened on his.

"Best" I just pressed out. I breathed uneven and he did as well. I bit my lip as it started to tremble. Again I felt a shiver run down my spine as his hand moved on my back. I leaned closer without noticing. The room seemed to be turning and Nathan pressed his warm lips on mine. I was tense first. Blood was rushing through my veins and I grabbed his shirt. I kissed him back as passionate as he started the kiss. My head wasn't thinking and my heart was exploding. Nathan moved me against the wall and pressed me against it. I ran my hands through his hair and couldn't believe how much I've missed him. I wanted to feel every inch of him on me. I pressed my lips on his harder and he kissed me like it was his last kiss on earth. I moaned against his lips as I heard my cell ring. Reality kicked in and I opened my eyes in shock.

"No" I whispered against his mouth. I was hardly getting any air. He pushed himself away and stared at me: his hands on each side of me against the wall. He seemed to be overwhelmed by this situation and unsure about how this happened.

"Cell" I said, escaped his arms and searched the room to find it on the couch. Thoughts that were banned from my head keep coming back. How did I let him kiss me? Why haven't I been so selfish? Why haven't I thought about it, before doing this? It was no good. He was no good. Can I move this in reverse? Maybe change what happened? Julian's number was showing and I took a deep breath before I answered.

"Hey" I smiled at the phone. My heart was beating way to fast and I needed to catch my breath.

"Hey babe" Julian smirked on the other line. I was filled with guilt. How could I have kissed Nathan just seconds ago? How could I hurt Julian this way? My brain was exploding it was overloaded.

"Hey" I repeated and took another deep breath. My heart race was slowing down again and I looked at Nathan who was emotionless where I left him.

"Just wondered when you'll be home?" Julian asked. His voice was sweet and I couldn't believe that I hurt this guy. This perfect loving guy, who called to check on me - this was typically him. The kiss was unexpected and I felt bad for doing it.

"I was on my way out" I lied and Nathan turned around to face me.

"Good" Julian told me "Haley and Peyton called and asked if we want to go to the movies with them" he explained.

"Sure" I said not really listening.

"I pick you up at the store" Julian suggested and I just said "yeah, that'll be nice" I watched Nathan while I talked to Julian and my heart was torn.

"See you soon" he whispered "I love you"

"I love you too" I smiled and bit my lip as I closed my cell. Nathan puckered his face and looked at me and I ran my hands through my hair as I put my phone away.

I breathed in and out.

"You should go" I said and my voice was breaking.

"Brooke" he whispered.

"Julian is picking me up for a movie" I said "my boyfriend, Nathan" I emphasized the boyfriend part.

"And he shouldn't see me here" Nathan said arrogant. It was like in old times, his arrogant self was showing now.

"Neither should your girlfriend" I reminded him bitter and he sighed. He looked away from me knowing exactly that I was right.

"What happened" I started "was a mistake" I bit my lip again and stopped the tears from coming. I was just a heartless bitch. Julian's voice was in my head and how he trusted me.

I walked to the door and opened it for Nathan.

"It was wrong" he said as he walked towards me "but it wasn't a mistake".

I looked away from him and shivered. I was still vividly reacting towards him and it killed me.

"You should go" I said and he nodded. He took his first steps outside and stopped as I took a deep breath.

"I'm sorry" I whispered and he just shook his head.

"Right" he fired back bitterly.

"Nathan" I whispered and he turned around. His eyes were full of pain and regret and I hated to see him like that. I gripped his shirt and pulled him down placing one last kiss on his lips. I couldn't tell why, I just wanted to feel his lips on mine once again and made him feel that I was just as much in pain as he was.

"You are freaking kidding me now" he said as he pushed me away.

"Decide what you want Brooke" he said and I wiped some tears away that escaped my eyes.

"I'm sorry" I pressed out and he ran his hand through his hair.

"What are we doing? How could this have happened?" I asked him unsure.

"I don't know" he said and I tried desperately to collect myself. For some moments it was quiet again and only our breaths and heart beats were heard.

"What are you expecting from me?" he asked and I shrugged. I didn't know what he was talking about I still was confused about the kiss and my lips trembled.

"Watch you kiss him and take you as long as you crawl back to me?" he asked in anger.

"No" I whispered "I don't know" I muttered and turned away from him. It was so hard. I couldn't stop this feeling inside like my chest was about to explode.

Nathan pulled me to him and kissed me again. I felt his lips on mine and I couldn't stop and kissed him back. It felt so right in this moment.

"How messed up are we?" he asked as he let me go. I needed to think. My head was still exploding and my heart ached.

"Nathan, you should really go now" I insisted and watched his tortured face.

"Him" he muttered bitterly.

"Julian" I muttered back. I hated the way he referred to Julian as him, never really saying his name.

"Right" Nathan grinned bitter at me as he opened the door.

"You want me gone? So I leave" he said and walked away. I stood there and watched him leave. I couldn't believe what just happened. I tried to erase the thoughts about him and after a while I was collected enough to check my make-up. The door opened and Julian stood there.

"Ready to go?" he asked and I smiled.

"Yes" I said and felt my heart break inside. Julian came over and gave me a kiss. Guilt was steaming through me as I kissed him back.

"I've missed you today" he muttered against my lips.

"I've missed you too" I whispered back and I wasn't sure if it was even a lie.


	27. Chapter 27

_Hope you like the update! leave some comments and thanks for your lovely reviews, I'm glad you enjoy the story!_

* * *

I stared at the wall as I was lying in Julian's arms. He was sleeping tightly and I just watched the clock. It was 3 in the morning and I couldn't sleep. I was feeling guilty and this was breaking me from the inside. Julian was such a sweet and caring boyfriend, and I was just a backstabbing bitch that obviously kissed her ex behind her boyfriend's back. I got out of Julian's tight embrace and collected my clothes from the floor. I tip toed to the bath room and poured some cold water into my face.

_Nathan pulled me to him and kissed me again. I felt his lips on mine and I couldn't stop and kissed him back. It felt so right in this moment._

The moment passed and left me with guilt, anger and a breaking heart. I slowly walked out of the bath and looked at Julian, he was sleeping tight and I escaped to the living room. We spend a great evening together, but I still had Nathan on my mind. I could feel my heart beat faster and my eyes becoming wet. I picked my cell up from the table and searched through names. I stopped at Nathan's.

_I knocked on the door and Nathan opened it, he was wearing his suit and smiled softly at me. I walked in and he fell down on one knee. I couldn't believe that this was happening._

Tears were running down my face. I was sure I made the right decision back then. I loved Julian and he was a perfect boyfriend that's why I couldn't believe I kissed Nathan. I couldn't believe how much it hurt to be in his arms. Once there was a future for me and Nathan but this future faded and was gone by now. Julian was my one and only now and there was nothing between me and Nathan, except some weird tension. I could fight it, I knew I could.

_Blood was rushing through my veins and I grabbed his shirt. I kissed him back as passionate as he started the kiss._

I put my cell down and walked to the kitchen. I poured some water into my glass and sipped on it. It was just a kiss, or three of them, they didn't mean a thing. I tried to convince myself.

"_My girlfriend did" he answered and he kissed my lips mockingly, he held me in his arms and Rachel and Owen laughed. They still couldn't believe we were a couple._

I heard my cell ring and wanted to pick up_._

Nathan's name was screening and I hesitated but just let my phone where it was.

"_Do you take this man as you husband?" Elvis asked "and promise to love him tender and to have him always on your mind?"_

"_Yes" I giggled and Nathan kissed me._

I got my calendar out and started to plan Rachel's bridal shower. I needed to preoccupy my head with something else except Nathan. My cell rang again and I almost picked up, but it stopped before I could. I checked who it was and saw Nathan's number, so I put it away again.

Haley and Peyton had the idea of a slumber party. This was a good idea and I was sure that we could have the room above my new shop, because the boys planned Owen's party for the same day here or at Luke's house. Julian just made plans with Lucas to get all the stuff this morning. I'm sure with stuff they meant a stripper.

I heard my cell again. I was so good in erasing him out of my mind, but it was like he knew it and wouldn't let me. I breathed in and picked up.

"Hey" I heard Nathan's voice "can't sleep" he muttered and laughed uncomfortable.

It was weird how good it felt to hear his voice.

"Me neither" I muttered and heard him breath in the phone. My eyes were wet and I had to catch my breath.

"Who is it?" Julian's sleepy voice asked at the door. His hair was messed up and his warm brown eyes focused on me.

"Rachel" I just lied and Nathan hung up. I didn't know why he called or what he wanted and it shouldn't have interested me, but it did.

"What did she want so late?" Julian asked and sat down beside me. I looked in my calendar and concentrated on the first date I saw.

"She wanted to know how the planning for the bridal shower goes" I lied once again and I felt bad for doing so. Julian tightened his grip around me as he sat down. His warm arm was around my shoulders and I shivered.

"And, how far are you?" he asked and I shrugged "we need some stuff" I mocked him and he kissed my cheek.

"You should get some sleep then, if you are involved in the picking process" he kissed my lips.

"I know" I smirked halfhearted and he put my chin up.

"You are sure that everything is okay?" he asked. I felt so bad for lying again.

"Yeah, it's just a lot to do for the wedding, and I couldn't sleep" I whispered. His eyes calmed me down and his lips touched mine again.

"You want to get back to bed?" he asked and I took his hand.

"Sure" I mumbled and followed him.

"Good morning bitchy sleepy" Rachel's voice greeted me.

I rubbed my eyes and looked at her. I had to concentrate to understand if I was still dreaming or if I was awake again. The light was shinning into the room and I was surprised at how late it already was, because the sun was up already.

"Julian asked not to wake you, but damn you can bite" she showed me her hand. I must have bitten her as she tried to wake me; in my dream a monster was attacking me.

"Sorry" I whispered with my husky voice and got up.

"And this after I obviously was your alibi" she followed me to the bath room as I washed my face and brushed my teeth.

"What?" I asked surprised.

"I thought you can tell me" she pointed out "because Julian thinks it's cute that I am awake at 3 am calling you up about my bachelor red party! Was I talking in my dreams, or why would I call you at 3 in the morning?" she asked suspicious and I remembered.

"Sorry, Rach" I muttered and walked back to bed. I fell down again and remembered that I didn't dream yesterday, and that I really kissed Nathan several times.

"So, what was I the alibi for?" she asked and laid down beside me.

I breathed in and out. If I would say it, it would be true and I didn't want it to be. On the other hand I couldn't lie to Rachel. She knew me too well. Nathan's lips on mine were hunting me and my face was overstretched.

"You were…" I swallowed. I had to convince myself to press the words out, though my mouth was on strike.

"Nathan called me" I just said and of course she wanted to know every detail.

"And we kissed" I said after I summed up everything that happened. A very short version of what happened and I only mentioned the first kiss.

My voice was shaky and she looked worried. Her eyes were glaring me down. I guess that she already feared something like that might happen and I closed my eyes to hear her break down her façade and call me thousands of names.

"A small innocent kiss?" she suggested and I shook my head. I would have loved to agree, but it would be a lie. Her face was disappointed.

"Nothing was innocent about this kisses" I explained and she watched my tortured face. She moved closer and pulled me into a hug. And she immediately caught the plural.

"Kisses?" she asked and I nodded.

"I feel like a heartless bitch" I muttered. My eyes were dry and had no tears left inside them and I bet they were red too, I wondered if Julian was suspicious.

"You are not" she hushed me and stroked my hair.

"Do you still love him, Brooke?" she asked and I got out of her hug. I was standing there and watching her pleading look. She doubted my feelings?!

"Of course I love Julian" I tried to convince her "he is my boyfriend".

Rachel always wanted to see me happy and Julian made me happy. I loved him and she should have known better than to ask me.

"I meant Nathan" she explained and I let myself fall down again.

"Do you still love Nathan?" she repeated. It was an easy question I guess.

The door bell rang and I got up. Literally I was saved by the bell. I ran down and Rachel followed me.

"You know the conversation will be here, as long as I am?" she asked in her mocking voice and I opened the door.

"Nathan?" I asked in surprise and he looked at me. He stood there with his white sweater and a leather jacket. His blue eyes weren't shinning as usual and he was all tense.

Rachel put her hand on her hip and stared him down.

"And you are here because?" she asked and raised her eyebrow. Her tone was bitchy and she seemed pissed at Nathan before he could even open his mouth. He looked at me and knew that Rachel was privy with the truth.

"I don't think it's any of your business" he muttered at her and looked back at me "I wouldn't have come, but Julian is out with Lucas, right?"

I nodded and Rachel walked closer to the door and tried to shut it.

"Rach" Nathan gave her a warning look. He seemed to be angry at her and I wondered why.

"No, Nathan, she is happy and you will not destroy that" she said and started to press the door against him. It felt like they had this conversation before because Nathan laughed in disbelieve.

"I just wanted to talk" he muttered at me.

I must have looked like crap, tears just dried on my face and I slept less than 4 hours.

"Please" he pleaded and I nodded. He looked like crap too. Tiered eyes, messed up hair.

Rachel just shook her head and let him get inside.

"Can we talk outside?" he asked and gave Rachel a glance "privately" he emphasized.

I looked at Rachel "Sorry, I have to" I whispered and she nodded. She wasn't happy with my decision but the good thing about Rachel was that she respected my decisions, no matter how she thought about them.

"I'll watch TV than" she said and I walked out.

The air was fresh and Nathan was obviously nervous. He smirked at me and sat down on the stairs. I followed his example and he looked at his hands.

"You could have come if Julian was here as well, he doesn't know about the kiss and he wouldn't be suspicious" I whispered and Nathan shook his head slowly from side to side.

"Nah, don't want to see him…"he broke up in midsentence.

"What?" I wondered.

"You love Julian I get that" he whispered and I looked at him. He just decided to change the subject. Or I wasn't seeing the connection yet.

"You do?" I asked because I didn't expect him to talk about this and he nodded.

"I get that" he paused for a moment.

"I mean you don't see anything in me, you didn't 4 years ago, or you would have stayed…" he trailed off.

"Nathan I didn't leave because I didn't love you, I left because I wasn't ready to be married to you yet" I explained and he just laughed upset. I knew that the little word yet, was what I really felt and I tensed at the thought. Maybe we could have had a future if I haven't left or he would have waited for me. I cleared my head again.

"Right" he muttered under his breath.

"I really didn't" I tried to convince him "you know we were drunk and under aged and you ambushed me as you wanted to stay married. I did love you" I said desperately.

"Right" he mumbled and I looked at him for a second.

"I thought we were meant to be together forever, before you were driven by some insecurity that told you, you couldn't wait for me, that it's now or never!" I whispered as I looked back to the stairs again.

"If you want forever Brooke… If you love someone, you say yes if they want to marry you" he said and got up. He was suddenly angry at me and I couldn't get why he was.

"I didn't say no either" I protested. This was true I never said no, I only said not yet and he made a no out of this all by himself.

"This wasn't enough. You left for your dream and I wasn't part of that world so there was my answer" he said and I couldn't believe I heard him say that. Anger and pain were two of the strongest feelings I could have named that filled me. He was agreeing with my theory. It was a now or never choice back then.

"You said it's all or nothing" I reminded him "I wanted to stay your girlfriend, not your wife, you wanted me to be your wife or nothing at all"

For a moment it seemed like he had to swallow the words but he didn't take long-

"I was hurt Brooke" he said and put his hands to his face "You just didn't believe in us".

I had to swallow at this sentence. I couldn't believe he was accusing me on giving up on us.

"I wished that one day you'll appear at my door in L.A and tell me that I mean the world for you, that you could wait for me, but you never did. You gave up on us" I whispered my face was tortured. I really was waiting for him in L.A. and he never showed. I didn't want to tell him but my mouth was faster than my brain.

"I gave up on us?" he asked and his words were less words than screams "don't you date Mr. Perfect now? Who is so much better than me" Nathan chocked out. It seemed like calling Julian by his name, would cause him pain and referring to him as Mr. Perfect was too, but it was pain he could take.

He was standing now and I couldn't believe he was saying that.

"Stop finding names for him, he is called Julian" I screamed back. I didn't care if it hurt him or not, my brain wasn't thinking about it. I did hurt Julian. I was the one who didn't deserve a name.

"Oh sorry does it hurt your precious boyfriend?" he mocked me and I got up as well. I took a big breath and breathed out "You date Carrie" I reminded him and he laughed bitter.

"So now you care? Really?" he was pressing the words out in disgust "I guessed you don't feel anything for me anyway, so who cares whom I date"

"I…" I was in rage now and I couldn't speak.

"I don't? Oh, get out of here Nathan" I said loudly and he looked up at me. My eyes were concentrating on his. I was standing as well now. Anger ran through my body. I trembled slightly.

"What?" he asked again.

"Get out of here, I thought you would talk about the kiss and apologize not blame me for everything that happened between us"

"I don't blame you I just tell the obvious" he said and I looked away for a second.

"Get away Nathan" I repeated slowly and with more energy now. He shook his head and he walked closer.

"Why?" he wondered "would you lose control again?" he asked and I trembled. I thought that he was probably right and it hurt me. He knew as well that I probably would lose control and a smirk was on his face.

"Get going" I said but my voice was weaker and he came closer.

"Did you think about me as he kissed you?" Nathan asked and I was shaking "did you?" he asked and I flinched back.

"You did" he whispered satisfied and I tensed looking back at him.

"I did think about you yesterday all night" he whispered with a smile and I felt my heart break into pieces.

"Thanks for giving me the image" I puckered my face and he took my hand.

"You still love me don't you?" he asked and I was standing there unable to talk. I wanted so badly to say anything.

"Nathan?" Julian wondered and Nathan let my hand fall down again.

"Hey" he said and turned to face Julian.

"What are you doing here?" he asked and looked at me. I couldn't look him into his eyes and watched the stairs.

"I wanted to offer you to help with Owen's bachelor blue party, it's my job after all" he lied confident and Julian smiled.

"That's nice" he laughed "we just wanted to pick you up and couldn't find you" he explained and I looked up.

"And I wanted to ask for your number" Julian smirked at me and I faked a smile.

"Good" Nathan said and walked to the car. Julian gave me a kiss and they left. He turned back at me for a moment before he hopped into the car. And for a moment I thought I saw him doubt the story. I sat down on the stairs and felt Rachel's arm around me.

"You're okay?" she wondered and I shook my head.


	28. Chapter 28

_Love your reviews! thanks for reading and reviewing  
_

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"Brooke, you're okay?" Haley wondered as she sat down next to me on one of the beds. We saw how the workers put all the different beds in the space over Karen's café. We decided to have the party there and as it was a slumber party a lot of beds needed to be placed all over the place. Haley and I decided to watch and give instructions. We also needed to decorate and buy some snacks.

"Yeah" I faked a smile, but she didn't believe me and raised her eyebrows.

"No, actually I am not" I laughed desperately. Haley moved closer to me.

"What's wrong?" she wondered and I looked up.

I shouldn't have told her, because the more people knew the worse I felt about lying to Julian about it, but Haley was my friend and I needed a second opinion. Rachel was sure that Julian didn't need to know and that I should stop meeting Nathan.

"If someone is unfaithful during a relationship, would you forgive this person?" I wondered and she seemed to be thinking this through, play the scenes in her head and after a while she took a deep breath. I didn't tell her it was about my relationship or who was unfaithful, so I was sure she tells me her true opinion on the situation.

"Hypothetically, right?" she asked and I watched her carefully. Something seemed to be wrong with her now.

She hesitated until I would answer.

"Right" I agreed and my stomach ached as I remembered how right Nathan was, I had to control myself around him and it hurt me. There was this sexual tension between us, and I had to stop this.

"Well I think it depends on who is unfaithful and how you feel towards the different persons involved" she just said and I looked away unsatisfied. Some seconds passed before I heard Haley's voice again.

"Actually" Haley hesitated and I waited for her to continue "I didn't tell anyone, but Chris cheated on me" she whispered and I tensed. I was surprised about this development. Chris and Haley seemed so sweet together. And now her hypothetic answer made sense. Obviously she was in the same situation or was in Julian's skin in my case.

"What?" I wondered and she nodded with a halfhearted smile.

"It was during the tour and he said it was a mistake" she remembered and her breaths became uneven. Her eyes were filled with pain. I put my arm around her as she continued. My throat tightened and I knew that Julian was in this same position right now. If he would know he would be hurt and broken.

"He slept with this one girl; she was a groupie or something. He said he only did it because we had a fight and he thought we would break up anyway" she explained "and I was hurt Brooke, I couldn't be next to him anymore, at least not for a while"

I listened and as she told me how she felt I saw Julian's face in front of me and couldn't believe what a backstabbing bitch I was. I heard her voice pain filled and knew that Julian would feel the same.

"We went on a break and he gave me all the time I needed to think it through. To get clear about everything" she whispered.

"Sorry" I tried to comfort her and tears were in her eyes.

"But I love him, so I forgave him and since then he is more caring. He said it was the worst mistake he could have ever made" she whispered and wiped the tears away.

I hugged her and she smiled through the tears.

"If Julian is worth it, you'll survive through the pain" she whispered and I felt guiltier. She thought he was the one cheating behind my back, while it was me. I couldn't tell her now. She would probably hate me for what I did. She was Julian in her story and the tears in her eyes made me break inside. She looked up and smiled.

"Mine and Chris' relationship never was easy" she murmured "but it was worth every second of each fight, we grew together and now we are happy"

"I know I've seen you together" I smiled and she nodded. I had to be supportive now, I couldn't leave her hanging and pity myself.

"Hey, what's with the crocodile tears?" Peyton asked and sat down beside us.

"Nothing" Haley said and I hesitated for a moment.

"Owen is outside and wants to talk to you" Peyton said and I got up. I was surprised that Owen was here, even more surprised to see him tense.

"Hey" I greeted him and he nodded at me from the door. This was untypical behavior and I knew something was wrong. We went outside and I felt a cold breeze surround me. I put my arms around myself and sat down on a bench. Owen wasn't speaking and I was afraid to disturb the silence.

"Brooke" he finally said and I looked up. His voice was calm but also warning.

"Owen?" my voice was insecure. This whole situation was surreal. It reminded me of the first time Owen visited me in L.A.

_It knocked on my door and I opened just to find Owen outside._

_I still had the hope to see Nathan at this door, but he just didn't come. I was disappointed that it was just Owen and not him._

"_Can we talk?" Owen asked tense and I let him in. He walked over to the couch and sat down. He stared at his hands for a while._

"_He misses you Brooke" Owen said and tears were in my eyes._

_I wasn't ready to talk about Nathan, my whole body hurt when someone mentioned his name._

"_I miss him too, but he said it's all or nothing" I whispered and Owen sat there. _

"_He is broken now" he just pressed out and saw my red eyes "The picture of a broken…man" he whispered._

_He didn't know what he should have said or done. In this fight there was no wrong or right. _

_So he just took my hand until I sat down on my couch and we both remained silent._

"I don't know how I am supposed to do this" he admitted and I sat up to look at him more careful.

"What?" I asked nervous. I was scared that he had second thoughts about the wedding or that Rachel was getting cold feet.

"I care about you" he whispered and I nodded. I knew this much already.

"But you hurt him back then in Vegas, and I really don't want to see you do this again" he mumbled.

I was speechless. We were talking about Nathan. How I could hurt him again or how I already hurt him. Rachel told me they tried to protect me from Nathan and now it sounded the other way around.

"He is my boy" Owen smirked "he is my best man"

I bit my lip and looked back at him.

"I know" I murmured.

"I talked to him too" Owen whispered his voice was unsure now and I looked down before I could face him again.

"You did?" I asked. I was scared to know what he would say next.

"I care for both of you and you seem happy, you even told me you are happy with Julian and Nathan likes Carrie a lot, maybe they aren't in love yet…" he trailed off "he was a broken man Brooke, it took a while for his wounds to heal"

I breathed in and out. I always just felt my pain and never considered that he was breaking as slowly as I was.

"He got over you, or at least he collected himself" Owen rolled his eyes "the kiss proves he is not over you"

The way he said that Nathan wasn't over me made my heart jump. I tensed as he mentioned the kiss and Owen laughed uncomfortable.

"He and Rachel" he explained and I rolled my eyes. Of course that's how he would find out.

"It's just you both don't know what you want and risk losing people that love you" Owen continued.

"That's why I like to take care for both of you, because you are my friends" he said.

For a second I had to swallow his words and I hugged him. It was cute and caring of him and even though he told me to stay away from Nathan, it was the sweetest gesture he could have ever made. He was right, I loved Julian and was loved by him, so much.

"Thank you" I whispered and he tightened his grip.

"I want you to be happy, you and him and I wished so often you could be happy together, but I think you both decided otherwise" he admitted and I smiled. He probably was right. Nathan and I went separate ways now.

"I know" I whispered and let go of him. He was about to leave as I remembered there was one thing to clear up.

"Julian doesn't know" I told him and he nodded.

"Got it" he smiled and got up.

"I should probably let you go back to preparation" he smirked and walked away. Owen and Rachel tired to make me and Nathan happy. They respected our new life paths and wanted us to stay on them. For a second I thought if I could be without Julian and shook my head. He was awesome and I loved him. I walked back in and listened to the songs Peyton picked for the party. We decorated and I could joke a bit again. After the room looked like a bachelor red party would totally rock in there we left.

"How about drinks for our great work?" Haley asked and Peyton rolled her eyes.

"Non alcoholics on me" I smiled and she nodded.

We walked to Owen's place and sat down at the counter. After a while we got our drinks and raised our glasses to our kick ass party planning skills.

"I thought only we were celebrating our achievements" I head Julian's voice behind me and he kissed my neck.

"Well, we are proud of ourselves as well" I joked and noticed Nathan next to him. I tensed and my smile disappeared for a moment. I fixed this as soon as I noticed.

"Do you want to join us?" Julian asked my girls and they nodded.

"I've missed Luke" Peyton said and put her hands on her tummy "hormones" she laughed as I gave her a weird look.

"Yeah, it's that or you really loooove him" Haley teased and followed goldilocks.

Julian took my hand and murmured "I missed you today".

I smiled and put my fingers through his.

"I've missed you too" I said and Nathan turned away from us. I bet it was hard on him to watch us like these especially after all that he said to me in the fight and the way he didn't believe that once I loved him. The rest of the evening I was watched by Nathan. He was looking at each and every movement I made. His eyes were fierce and he drank several drinks while I was still sipping my first cocktail. Julian pulled me into his hug and was making jokes. Lucas laughed and I joined, but I didn't know what they were talking about. Julian had his arm around me and Nathan bitterly was sipping on his drink. I had to swallow every time I caught his eyes on mine. His blue eyes were focused on mine and I felt all the pain and guilt in them. The feelings were loaded between us and I was afraid it could explode right there. I still could feel his arms around my body and his lips on mine. I felt guilty every time I looked into Julian's eyes, and felt pain when I saw Nathan's. It was breaking me slowly. Nathan took another sip from his drink and his face was tense, emotionless. I shivered and Julian pulled me closer.

"You cold?" he wondered and I nodded with an insecure smile. I felt that Haley was watching me as well. I hoped she wasn't suspicious. She talked to Lucas and Peyton but every now and then she glared at me insecurely.

I was in my boyfriend's arms and wondered if he would still behave like that if he would know what I've done. Julian smirked and kissed my cheek. Nathan's grip around his glass tightened and I felt the pain he must have been feeling when he saw me in Julian's arms. I felt the same when he was kissing Carrie. I was glad that she wasn't there today. The DJ changed the song and I thought it was a great possibility to escape this awkwardness.

"This song is amazing" I said after a while and Peyton got up with me. She took my hand ready to drag me on the dance floor.

"Let's dance" she smiled brightly and Lucas gave her a warning glare as he stopped her by grabbing her free hand.

"One dance won't kill me" she reminded him. He hesitated but let go of her and she walked with me to the dance floor. I was watching the table every now and then. Nathan often glared at me and a shiver ran down my spine. Sometimes I caught another glance at my boyfriend and Julian smiled at me. I felt so bad for all that I've done to him, and I wondered where Carrie was, and why she wasn't with them here. Rachel and Owen spend one evening together, they wanted some quality time. The songs changed but we remained at the dance floor where Haley soon found us. We felt like in old times where we danced to the music in TRIC.

I felt two warm hands on each of my hips after a while and shrugged in shock. Julian's laughter was heard and my livid heart was beating normal again.

"You are really easily startled in the past few days" he whispered against my ear and I nodded. His breath was tickling me and I just wished I wouldn't feel guilty.

"The stress" I whispered and he nodded. I hated to lie to him because it was the worst feeling ever. His head was on my shoulder and his arms tight around me. We danced to the song and I almost forgot that Nathan was there. I felt secure again and it seemed like I found an escape from all the madness in my life. Just when my glance wandered to the table and I found it empty I noticed that Nathan was already gone. I turned around to face Julian and gave him a small kiss on his lips. Maybe staying away from Nathan wasn't that hard after all. We had a fight and he was obviously avoiding me. So in the end he was making it easier to sort my feelings. Now with Julian's brown eyes staring at me I couldn't even imagine to kiss anybody else. I put my arms around his neck and he smiled. We didn't notice how many songs we stayed on the dance floor like that, but after a while Lucas playfully hit my elbow.

"We are going home" he said and pointed at Peyton whose eyes were closing every now and then. She looked totally sleepy and I smiled.

"Sure" I whispered and hugged her tightly.

"Sleep well and give my girly in there some rest" I smiled and Peyton whispered.

"Goodnight" she whispered and they left. Haley still was with us, until Julian thought about leaving and I was glad that we met them in the bar. I felt normal again until I thought about Nathan's emotionless and tense face, his hurt eyes on mine.


	29. Chapter 29

Again thank you for all the lovely comments and please leave me some after you read this! ;)

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"Don't have fun" Julian smirked against my lips and I laughed.

"Right back at you" I whispered and he pulled me closer.

"I try" he playfully fired back and I kicked my eyebrow.

"I won't" he corrected and I kissed his lips once again. No matter what was wrong with me, I knew I loved him and that was all I needed to know. His warm brown eyes made all my fears disappear and I was looking forward to an evening with my girls only. He left and I waited for Rachel. We drove together and she was nervous, she once asked how I was and what happened between Nathan and me, but I told her not to worry. It was her day after all. We were standing in front of the closed door.

"Ready?" I asked her as she nodded I opened the big door and she saw a room full of friends and beds. There were old posters of boy bands and music was filling the room.

She laughed and hugged me and the others. Carrie was there as well and it was the first time I had to face her after the kiss. I smiled politely and my heart was beating like crazy, I felt guilt stream all over my body. She was pretty but seemed sleepy or not rested. I couldn't describe it, but decided to look away. I was able to overplay it. I wished myself back in Julian's arms, to feel secure again.

"It's amazing" she said and I grinned.

"Well we start with dinner in bed" I laughed and pointed at the beds that were put around a table like a sun. The table was filled with ice cream, marshmallows, cookies and chocolates, but also champagne and other alcoholic drinks.

"Wow" she smiled brightly.

"We also ordered some pizza" I winked at her and she slapped my arm softly.

"A stripper?" she asked excited and Peyton nodded as she put a tiara on Rachel's head and nodded towards her bed. We were lying on the bed and started to eat. Carrie was watching me carefully and I wondered if she already knew something. Her brown eyes were fierce and I felt like they were cutting me into pieces slowly. I was just chewing some cookie as Rachel opened her phone and smirked at me.

"Your mother mailed, she isn't coming either" Rachel explained as she ate a marshmallow.

"Either?" I wondered though I was glad to hear this. I was focused on something real now and my thoughts trailed away from Carrie.

"My parents are too busy this weekend" Ray rolled her eyes.

"Sorry Rachel" Haley said and the red haired laughed.

"They are on a cruise and it's much more important than to watch their only daughter's wedding" she rolled her eyes and Peyton laughed.

"You are much better off without them, they would only ruin the ceremony. Do you think they can take my mum with them?" I asked as a joke. Carrie was wondering why this was a good thing and Haley explained it to her.

"Maybe" Rachel laughed "should I pray for the ship to sink then?"

We all laughed. I was relieved that my mother wasn't coming for the wedding; I had too much to think about anyway. We watched a girly movie where the boy was cheating on his girlfriend and I tensed. I had pictures of Haley in my head, and Carrie, Julian and also Nathan. I was tense through the whole movie. I prayed it to be over soon and noticed Carrie's eyes on me again. I had a bad feeling that she knew something. But Nathan never would be so stupid to tell her. At least I hoped he wasn't. Haley was watching me as well and I offered a comforting smile. Soon it was over and I sighed in relieve. Rachel unpacked some presents we made her.

"B. Davis" she laughed as she opened a red box which was mine. It was lingerie, red and black.

"Owen will love that" Peyton smiled as she took it away from Rachel and showed it to Haley, Carrie joined the madness.

"Boom chika wow wow" Haley laughed. Peyton and Carrie joined her and laughter was all around the room. We were louder than the music.

"I give you some Boom chica wow wow" Rachel dared them and I grinned at her. She really seemed to enjoy the party.

Finally it knocked on the door. I thought the stripper wasn't coming at all anymore.

"Pizza?" Rachel asked excited.

"It's more sort of a special delivery, it's more like a surprise" I smirked and walked to get the door. Rachel seemed to be excited.

"Surprise?" Nathan's voice asked and was unable to move. He was drunk and his eyes were filled with pain. I just closed the door fast and smiled at the others while I leaned against it. I hoped Carrie didn't hear his voice, but noticed that she was talking to Peyton all this time. My heart was beating fast and I needed to think about this whole situation and how to solve it.

"Who was there?" Rachel asked excited and I had to lie.

"Workers from the shop" I said fast and she looked at the clock.

"At 2 in the morning?" Haley wondered as she checked the clock as well and I nodded.

"Well I pay them well" I smirked "excuse me" I whispered. Carrie was still watching me as I slipped through the barely open door and heard Haley suggest a game of truth or dare. It was dark in the hallway and Nathan was still standing where I left him. He smelled like alcohol and I was feeling him being way to close.

"What are you doing here?" I asked and felt his hands on each of my arms. I shivered beneath his touch.

"I don't know Brooke" he said tortured and I shivered again.

"You should go" I whispered and he sighed and let his hands run up and down my arms. Goosebumps were on my skin and I had to catch my breath.

"Nathan" I hesitated and he pulled up my face. My heart was beating like crazy and I was shaking.

"Carrie" I whispered and he pulled my head closer to his. It seemed like he didn't even heard me.

"I don't love her" he whispered and my knees trembled. I felt his breath on my lips and his hand was moving down my back. I tried to focus but it was so hard. Nathan put his finger on my lips and I felt how blood was running through my veins.

"Don't" I mumbled and Nathan hesitated.

"Please don't" I repeated and he took my hand and walked me to the stairs. I wondered what he wanted and he sat down. I didn't expect him to listen but was glad he did.

"I shouldn't have made you choose between a marriage and nothing" he said and I sat down beside him. I could smell the alcohol on him and in his voice there was regret. He seemed to be honest right there and I thought about his words for a moment.

"But you did" I whispered and he looked at me tortured again.

"I know" he agreed and his lips barely moved. I was sitting there, knowing that it wasn't only his fault. He was suffering and I wanted to make it stop-

"I shouldn't have left" I mumbled and he looked back at me.

"Do you regret it?" he asked and I moved away.

I had to collect my thoughts. It was a weird question and I didn't know how to answer this.

"I don't know how it would have ended if I didn't left you or you didn't make an ultimatum" I started "but I know that I am happy with Julian while you aren't here"

Nathan breathed in and out and looked at me. It was the best answer I could have offered him. It wasn't the comforting one, but the honest one.

"I'll be gone soon" he smirked and stood up. It seemed like he only heard the last part. I wondered if I could ever make him listen to the other parts of my sentences, the ones where I gave him credit for being an awesome man. I hit me that he just announced that he was leaving.

"Gone?" I wondered and pain was in my heart, like I was losing a piece of me. It was strange that I felt lost in this moment. I expected a lot of things, but not that he would be leaving.

"NBA try outs" he smirked and I nodded "They are in New York" he added and I moved back where he was. I turned around just to find him way too close to me and my heart hammered in my chest like crazy. He was about to leave soon and it felt wrong. My eyes were focused on his tortured ones and I put my hand on his chest. I felt his heart beating. He never listened when I told him about his greatness, but nevertheless I had to try it again.

"You will be a great NBA player" I breathed out and he touched my hand with his. I leaned closer. My face was again too close to his and our hearts were beating in sync. I couldn't resist and touched his lips with mine.

"What are you doing to me Scott" I whispered against his lips and he kissed me with his arms around my body and he tightened the grip. It wasn't passionate it was soft and full of pain, pain of losing him and being close to him.

I couldn't catch my breath as he softly picked my lips.

"I am a masochist" he laughed and kissed me again "it hurts to be with you and without you" he mumbled.

"I feel the same" I whispered and finally he had loosened his grip. We were sitting close to each other and tried to catch our breaths again. I wondered if this was the goodbye kiss that should probably have happened years ago.

"Remember when I said I couldn't love you, because I was afraid you find someone better than me?" he asked and I looked up at him. I remembered every moment with him and especially that one, because it was the moment our relationship started. He was standing in front of me now and I nodded.

"See I was right, you are better off without me" he said tortured and I held my throat unable to say anything.

"I want you to be happy Brooke" he said and stroked my hair "so I have to let you go and be happy with Julian, no matter what I feel for you" he smiled halfhearted. It was the first time he referred to my boyfriend with his normal name.

His hand left my hair and he turned away. I couldn't move an inch of my body so I was sitting on the stairs and watching him disappear into the darkness. I couldn't believe how alone I felt, though I wanted this, I wanted to be free from Nathan's power over me. I wanted to break free from him. Now that he left me, I just couldn't help but feel lost, alone and like a part of me was missing.

The door opened and I got up to find Carrie in the door way.

"Was he here?" she asked and I looked confused at her.

"Nathan" she clarified and I wanted to decline but she just laughed. She was shaking slightly and tears were in her eyes.

"So you were the reason he broke up with me after all" she whispered and I felt guilty and surprised. He broke up with her? I was repeating this part in my head and couldn't understand what she meant with these words. He broke up with her without any reason, except the kiss? Our kiss? Did I destroy his relationship? I felt even worse about the kiss now, because for him it was the reason he had to ruin his relationship and I wasn't ready to do the same for him.

"_I want you to be happy Brooke" he said and stroked my hair "so I have to let you go and be happy with Julian, no matter what I feel for you" he smiled halfhearted_

He just said it. My stomach ached as I understood what he was meaning by that.

"He was talking in his sleep, saying your name" she said and tears were in her face. I also felt my eyes becoming wet. He still was in love with me somewhere deep inside. Owen knew it before as he talked to me and somewhere I knew it too, I just couldn't believe it.

"I shouldn't have come here" she said and walked closer to me.

"He never loved me" she whispered and I felt even guiltier. She seemed so fragile and unbelievably broken.

"I guess he never really was over you" she looked me in the eyes and probably saw my guilt. She hesitated for a moment and took a deep breath.

"I don't want to know what happened between the both of you, I guess I just should leave" she said and her lips trembled.

She walked in and excused herself from Rachel and left. For me everything seemed to happen in slow motion. I was trying to catch my breath and I was speechless. The girls tried to convince her to stay but she just declined. Haley and Rachel watched me carefully and I tried to smile at them as if I had no clue of what was going on. As Carrie left we went on with the evening and I still stayed up long with the girls and we played truth or dare and watched the stripper, but I thought about Nathan's tortured face and the tears in Carrie's eyes as she left the party. How Julian would probably feel when he found out and how much I was hurting the people around me. I caught Haley's glare and was sure she figured it out by now. Rachel probably knew that Nathan and Carrie were broken up and the reason she left, but she was enjoying her party and giving me space. I swallowed hard as we went to our beds.

"I love the bed idea" Rachel laughed "this way I look gorgeous on my wedding day" she smirked at us and I smiled back.

I was lying in my bed and couldn't close my eyes, tears were falling down my face and I stared on the floor. I cuddled myself into my blanket and tried to calm down. Life was complicated. I made my life this complicated and I didn't know how to fix this. I didn't see any way out of this madness. Nathan was leaving for New York and I would go back to L.A. probably without Julian ever figuring out what had happened between Nate and me, but it still felt wrong. I couldn't believe that Nathan soon would be gone and I would be left alone with all these feelings inside. Could I go on with Julian without telling him a word? Eventually my eyes fell closed and I rested my head on my pillow.


	30. Chapter 30

_Thanks for staying true to the story and your cute reviews, it is really makes me happy_

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I hold Julian's hand as we were seated in the first row next to Haley and Chris. It was a great idea to get married outside. The green lawn was shining in the sun and I was thankful that the weather was on our side. I just came out to be with him for a while. He looked gorgeous in his black suit and I smiled. I haven't slept well and looked around the crowd. It was really helpful that we had a professional make up done, because otherwise people would see how wrecked I really was. There were barely older guests invited and I just wondered how well Rachel was really taking it, that her parents weren't there.

"How is Rachel doing?" Julian asked and circled his thumb around my hand as he sat down. I looked in his warm eyes and shrugged, I couldn't sit down with him, because I was part of the ceremony. I also felt lost and confused after all that happened last night.

"She looks great and I guess she is a bit nervous though" I smirked at him and felt Haley's eyes on me.

_In the morning we had a conversation while the rest of the girls slept._

"_I get when you hate me now" I whispered after she was silent for 10 minutes. She just asked if I was the reason that Carrie left and I nodded unsure. Haley faced the floor and searched for words._

"_I don't hate you Brooke" she mumbled and looked at me. For the first time I didn't see pain in someone's eyes and felt relieved and surprised at the same time._

"_But you…"I murmured and she stopped me._

"_What Chris did to me, was a one night stand because we had a fight. It was with a meaningless girl" Haley explained and I was still looking forward to know where she was heading with this._

"_You and Nathan, you have feelings involved, it's not like you aimed to hurt Julian with this, though you surely did" Haley breathed out and I wondered how she could be so nice to me, she was trying to ease my pain in a weird way. She was trying to understand me and Nathan, though she had been hurt like Julian before._

"_But it was wrong" I explained and tried not to wake anyone. It was amazing how deeply Rachel slept._

"_Life isn't easy, it's not always black and white, and there are lot shades of grey" Haley looked up at me again._

"_But I've hurt so many people" I mumbled and she nodded._

"_That's why you should figure out what your heart wants, before you hurt even more people" Haley explained "Love isn't supposed to be hard or dramatic, it's supposed to be what it is, love. It's a heart's desire, so what does your heart want?"_

_I breathed in and out and looked back to her. I had no answers yet._

"_I want you to be happy Brooke" she whispered and I had tears in my eyes I threw my arms around her and thanked her._

She smiled softly and took Chris' hand. I smiled back at her and him.

"You also look awesome" Julian smirked still holding my hand in his. I felt my heart beating faster knowing that I still had a very difficult decision to make.

"Thank you" I said with a smile on my lips, but the smile didn't touch my eyes.

"Hello, darling, you just look like 4 years ago, it's amazing how you and Rachel look exactly 18" I heard an older female voice say and turned around.

"Oh, hello Mr. and Mrs. Morello" I smiled. Owen's parents were the only people that were over 50 and I was glad they were here. They loved Rachel and were approving the wedding. In many ways they were a better family than hers would ever be. Owen's parents were down to earth: his mother was a teacher in a Junior High and his father worked for constructions companies. I looked at his father and smirked. He was as tall as Owen and had his cheekbones, grayish hair but still enough brown that covered it so the gray was just shining through. I could totally see Owen be like that when he was older. I glanced at Mrs. Morello and looked at an aged but still good-looking lady, which was a motherly type she was still smirking at me. That was the opposite of how I imagined Rachel to be later.

"We just wondered if we could see Owen, before the wedding" she smiled and I nodded. I looked back at Julian.

"Excuse me" I whispered and he didn't let my hand go but pulled me down for a small kiss. His lips were just seconds on mine and he let me go. On his lips was a grin, but his eyes looked weird and I was tense.

"Okay" I smiled back and turned away from him to lead Owen's parents to his room.

"We're haven't seen you for a while" Owen's mother noticed and I shrugged. I spend some of my vacations with Owen and Rachel at their house.

"I know, sorry about that" I apologized "I was…"

"She was busy becoming famous, Maureen" Mr. Morello laughed and I felt ashamed.

"I know, and I am really proud of you Brooke" Mrs. Morello said. I was astonished how lovely she was and how caring about the people Owen was friends with.

"Thank you" I said and we finally reached Owen's room.

"Here we are" I smiled at them and knocked.

"If that's the bride coming here so she can have the groom for a short quiii…" Nathan opened the door and froze at his last word.

"Nathan Scott" Mr. Morello just shook his head and Nathan grinned uncomfortable, like a little boy that was caught stealing candy.

"Hello Mr. and Mrs. Morello" he whispered uncomfortable and Owen's laughter filled the room.

"Nice to see you again, boy" Owen's father walked in and his mother followed.

"You look like a gentleman, maybe you should try to talk like one too" she whispered and winked at him. Okay, maybe Rachel could be like that in 30 years. Nathan raised his eyebrow still ashamed and I tried to hide my grin. For a moment I forgot about everything that happened between us and remembered how I spend my first weekend at Owen's house. I was dating Nathan for a while already and Rachel was about to meet her almost boyfriend's family for the first time and forced us to come with her. The Morello clan loved Nathan and I watched him play with Owen and his little cousin basketball while Rachel and I helped to make dinner. I shook the memory away and looked at Nathan who was still in the doorway.

"Should we go over the routine one more time?" he asked as if he tried to plead for refugee.

"Sure" I laughed and he walked out.

"See you later O" he said and shut the door. Owen's laughter was still heard.

We walked close to each other through the corridor outside. There was a cherry tree with its pink flowers. They smelled awesome and I smile as we stopped there.

"Thanks for rescuing me" Nathan had his uncomfortable smirk on his face. His shoulders always shrugged when he did and he looked down at me. It was cute and I smiled at him.

"You really needed help" I laughed "suggesting that, was really… Scott" I rolled my eyes.

"I guess" he grinned and I looked into his blue eyes that were shining because of the shirt he was wearing.

"So when is your flight?" I asked and he looked down on the grass. I wanted to know when I had to say goodbye and I didn't know how to find out otherwise than just to ask him.

"Tomorrow" he whispered and I felt how my body tensed. It was just the moment that I realized something. I had just one more day with him here and then he would be gone. I couldn't believe it was so soon. My chest was burning inside but I tried to smile.

"Are you scared?" I asked and he looked up at me again.

"Sure" he said and it felt like it wasn't the truth.

"Sure?" I raised my eyebrow "I would be scared as hell" I laughed. I had to overplay all that I was feeling; it wasn't fair to him or Julian if I didn't. And it wouldn't be fair to Rachel or Owen either.

"Yeah, and sad" he mumbled. My heartbeat stopped for a second. He was sad this thought ran through my head, and I needed to do something. So I just started to fix his tie.

"You actually don't even look like a gentleman" I complained and he laughed.

"Yeah, well that's what you were for, make me a gentleman" he smirked and I looked up. My hands trembled and my heart ached. My head was about to explode. I had a decision to make and it wasn't an easy one and with him leaving it got even harder. My heart was beating like crazy and I couldn't breathe anymore.

"Nathan I…" I started and heard steps behind me.

"Brooke?" Julian asked and I turned around to face my boyfriend who was standing there: tense and hurt. I felt a shiver down my body and Nathan just greeted Julian who simply nodded at him. I let my hands fall down again.

"I should probably go" he whispered as he walked past me "I'll see you later at the ceremony".

I nodded but my stare was still on Julian who was emotionless.

"Can we talk?" he asked as he walked closer to me and I nodded. Nathan disappeared in the building. Julian stopped in front of me and I noticed that his eyes were full with fear and mistrust. I felt a cold shiver down my back and Julian's lips were rigid. I swallowed and watched him for a while. His eyes never left mine and I was feeling all the pain he felt.

"I'm not blind Brooke" he whispered and I felt how my whole body was tense.

"I feel that you are slipping away from me" he explained. I could feel how hard it was for him to phrase all these thoughts.

"Julian" I almost only sobbed. I wanted to make him stop to take it all away from him, all the harm that I caused.

"I see you with him Brooke - it is like a knife that cuts me open. Knowing that my fears have become true and he is the other one" he muttered again "I tried to ignore it, but I can't anymore"

It felt like he was confessing something, that he wasn't proud of.

"Julian" I could only breathe out. I really wanted to stop him, to heal all the wounds I was responsible for.

"Tell me there is no one else" he pleaded but I couldn't. I would have loved to, but I just couldn't lie about it anymore. I couldn't fix this with a lie. He breathed out in disbelieve.

"You can't" he said and his eyes glanced in the sun. He seemed to have tears in them and I felt how tears filled my own eyes.

"I" I whispered.

"I was feeling it already, your halfhearted smiles, the way you looked at him" Julian said his eyes fierce on mine but his voice sad "I wondered where you went so late and why you were so tense around him, but I hoped I was misreading the signs" he murmured. I noticed that his voice was truthful and I think it made it worse, that he probably knew it all the time but was trying to convince himself that he was misreading this.

"I pretended not to see it" he rolled his eyes and held back the tears. He faced the sky for a while, like he needed some space to collect his thoughts again.

"Julian I can explain…" I tried to convince him but guilt was in my voice and I sounded weak.

"Can you Brooke? How could you be with him while I trusted you?" he asked and I felt a piercing ache in my chest.

"It was just a kiss" I murmured. Somehow I thought that this would make it any better.

"Were you thinking about me when he touched you? How I trusted you?" Julian's voice turned into a hurtful one "Holding your hand on his chest, like now?" Tears ran down my face.

"Were you enjoying seeing me being an idiot and lying to myself? Believing that you are just friends, while you were sneaking around behind my back?" he wondered and I felt weak.

"Julian" I put my arms around him and still with tears in my eyes I tried to explain everything, but couldn't find the words, because Julian stood there stiff and his arms were hanging down. I let go of him and wiped away the tears.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't plan it or aimed for it" I whispered and he just shirked his nose. It wasn't what he wanted to hear and I knew it, but I had nothing else that I could offer him.

"I know that it's not enough" I explained and he looked down on the grass "I don't know why I did it, or how I could have and I am really a backstabbing bitch" I whispered and he looked up at me. Actually I probably knew why I did it; I just couldn't explain why I had no self control over this.

"I've hurt you and I didn't want to, because I care for you" I murmured.

"A funny way to show it" he just breathed out and we were standing there. I didn't know what to say or how to make it all go away.

"I had a lot of time to think that through, actually every time I wished you weren't lying about where you are or who you are with, I wondered what I would do if you were with him all this time"

I stiffened and waited for him to go on talking. I wondered how I could have ended up like that. Guilt ran through my body and I hurt two people that I loved.

"I will leave for L.A. tomorrow" Julian said and I looked scared at him. I couldn't believe he was leaving, I didn't know what I could have said.

I shook my head because I knew what this meant.

"Figure out what you want Brooke" he whispered and gave me an envelope with a ticket. My heart stopped and I watched his hurt eyes. I couldn't believe he was handing me an envelope and I wondered what was there.

"Julian" I whispered. Was he breaking up with me? I didn't know.

"Maybe I will need time" he murmured "but I'm not ready to lose you yet".

I swallowed at his words and he looked away from me into the sky and took a deep breath. This was surprising and unexpected.

"I don't know why or how, but I will try to forgive you" he muttered "I am in love with you Brooke and…" his under lip trembled for a second "I want to be with you, though I feel like this feelings now knock me out" he hesitated "I hope they'll go away with time"

I watched him carefully and my heart ached again.

My hand touched his chest and I held the envelope in my hand. Tears ran down my face. His eyes watched mine and we were silent for a couple seconds.

"You should check on Rachel" he whispered and his hand caressed my arm. It was a good suggestion and still I couldn't move quite yet.

"Maybe we are strong enough to make it through this" he murmured into my hair before he kissed it and I nodded.

I left him standing there by the cherry tree and sat down on the stairs before I could even imagine to walk inside I had to collect myself. Julian was hurt and so was Nathan. They both were leaving and I was too selfish to let any of them go. I cried for a while and after I sobbed a bit I wiped the tears away. I had to be strong, for Rachel.


	31. Chapter 31

_Hey guys, thank you so much you kinda make my day with your comments, I love how much you are into the story and how you all write me really nice messages. Thanks a lot!_

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After a while I calmed myself and walked into Rachel's room. She looked stunning, the dress was fitting perfectly and her hair fell down gorgeous waves on her shoulders.

"You look amazing" I smiled at her and closed the door behind me.

"Thank you" she whispered and looked a bit worried at me. I fixed my make up because the tears ruined it before.

"You okay?" she asked and I nodded. I guess one could still see that I was tense.

"I should ask you that", I smirked at her "cold feet?" I wondered. I hoped she wouldn't worry about me. It was her big day after all.

"Not really" Rachel smiled nervously understanding what I was trying to do "It's just I never planned on getting married and I always thought I would be the Vegas type" she hesitated and though my heart stopped for a second and a picture of me and Nathan shot through my mind I smiled at her so she would continue. She breathed in and out for a moment to let me catch myself.

"I just never thought I get married outside with all these people" Rachel whispered and I pulled her in a comforting hug.

"You deserve all this" I smiled "and you should be smiling and glowing" I grinned.

"You are right" she smiled and hugged me tighter.

"Are you ready?" I asked her and she nodded against my shoulder. I let her go and looked once again at her green eyes that sparkled back at me.

"You are going to get married" I smiled at her, like to a little girl. I still couldn't believe it.

"Shut up bitch" she joked like in old times.

"No way whore" I grinned back and I took the flowers from the vase and handed them to her and also got mine.

"Ready when you are" I whispered and she nodded at me.

"Ready" she mumbled.

We walked to the door and stopped there. I was the first to walk out and I checked if Nathan already told the crowd that the ceremony was about to start. He was already waiting for me and I smiled as the music started. I stridden towards him and he was smiling at me. I linked my arm into his as he walked me down to the aisle.

"Not bad Scott" I joked and he smiled to the crowd. We both felt awkward.

"What did Julian want?" he pressed between his smile showing teeth.

"He knows" I whispered.

"What happened?" he wondered and I tensed as we walked past Julian. I saw his hurt eyes and couldn't believe how awkward this felt.

"He wants me to come with him to L.A. and leave what happened here" I whispered.

"Are you?" he wondered.

Julian watched each and every move I made, so as soon as we were standing in the front I let Nathan's arm go and smiled at him. I wanted to say something, but couldn't so I focused on Owen who was already standing there and smiling at us. Nathan took no answer for enough to answer his question.

"Go champ" I grinned and walked to where I should stand during the ceremony. Owen laughed at me and muttered with Nathan for a while.

The music changed and Rachel walked outside. Owen's dad was bringing her towards and it looked so sweet. Rachel smiled as she saw Owen standing there and the way they looked at each other –you could feel the love in the air and the trust they shared. I smiled as Rachel was given to Owen. They were perfect, so perfect that even a blind man would have noticed.

They were standing in front of the priest and Owen had to repeat after him first.

"I, Owen Marello, take you Rachel Gatina, ___to be my wife, to have and to hold, from this day forth, to love, honor, and cherish, to comfort and respect, in sorrow or in joy, in hardship or in plenty, so long as we both shall live" he smiled as he locked his eyes with hers. I could imagine that they didn't see the rest of us and it was how it is supposed to be. They were here for each other and we were lucky that they shared this private moment with us. I felt Nathan's eyes on me and smiled softly at him. In the same moment I looked back to Julian who still was watching me. I just couldn't stop but wonder, if I was having this kind of love in front of me but was just too blind to see it._

_"__I, Rachel Gatina, take you Owen Morello, to be my husband, to have and to hold, from this day forth, to love, honor, and cherish, to comfort and respect, in sorrow or in joy, in hardship or in plenty, so long as we both shall live" I heard Rachel say and concentrated on them again._

___Nathan walked towards Owen and handed him the rings. And with "I offer this ring as a symbol of my love and devotion. Let it always be a reminder of my vows to you" they exchanged the rings. _

_"__You now may kiss the bride" the priest smiled and we all applauded as Owen did as he was told._

___They turned around and Owen walked Rachel out of the ceremony. Nathan walked towards me._

_"__This was…" he smiled unsure._

_"__Perfect?" I wondered and he nodded until I saw Julian standing next to us. I tensed and he was watching Nathan with disgust. They locked eyes with each other and I could almost feel the sparks that were exchanged. Hate and militancy were surrounding them, they were jealous at each other and I didn't know what to do. I was the reason for that. It felt awkward._

_"__I should go" Julian muttered and walked away. He seemed angry and stiff._

_"__I…" I pleaded at Nathan and he nodded._

_"__I see you at the dance floor" he murmured and I walked after Julian. I wondered why I even had to ask Nathan it wasn't like I was dating him or like I hurt him more than Julian. I just felt like I should have done._

_"__I'm sorry if you feel hurt" I said after I caught up with Julian. He stopped for a moment and faced me._

_"__I should go now" he said and I shook my head._

_"__Please don't" I whispered. It was more of a whiff than actually a whisper. I knew I had no right to say this, but I just didn't want him to go._

_"__I can't watch this, don't you get this Brooke, and it's hard to see you with him" he mumbled and I took his hand into mine. It felt strange to touch him, but I looked in his eyes calmly._

_"__I know, but please stay" I pleaded and he thought about it. After a while he nodded and I breathed out relieved. We walked inside together and sat down at our table. Nathan joined us as well as Peyton and Lucas. Of course the best man and maid of honor had to share one table._

___The sparks between Nathan and Julian never stopped exchanging and I tried to talk to Peyton, but was only half there. Finally the married couple entered the room and I smiled. They just looked happy and they didn't care for the world. Rachel and Owen stopped at his parents' table and were congratulated. I saw Rachel's eyes glow and felt happy for her. Finally they reached our table. She threw her arms around me and laughed._

_"__I still think it's a dream" she whispered._

_"__It is" I smirked "a dream come true"_

_"__Gosh you can be so cheesy" she laughed and as she let me go there were happy tears in her eyes. I watched Julian congratulate Owen and after Nathan let go of the groom, I could finally give him a hug._

_"__I'm so happy for you O" I smiled "you guys deserve to be happy" I whispered and his hug tightened around me. _

_"__Thanks for everything" Owen smiled "little B" he muttered and I laughed._

___They sat down at the head table and toasted to the guest to open the dinner._

___Everyone was eating and I was sitting there tense unable to swallow a bit of my food though it looked fantastic. I also barely sipped my champagne and Peyton even gave me hers, because she couldn't drink. Julian bitterly turned away from Nathan. They had a non-verbal fight going on and I was scared that it might become a real fight. My fear was vanishing away as I noticed that it was time for the toasts. Nathan was first and was already standing. His eyes were calm and warm now and his posture was sublime._

_"__Hello, I'm Nathan Scott and Owen is one of my best friends" Nathan started and I stared again at my carts, I would be next and I was getting nervous. It was hard to talk about love, considering the circumstances that I was in. Did I even know what love is?_

_"__Rachel and Owen never had an easy relationship as many of you know, but they stayed in love. They showed the world that love is unconditional and that you don't have to earn it. Love is not just a feeling that you can control, it's a force that takes over your mind and body and makes you unconditionally fall for someone. Fall so deep that you can't get out and the funny thing is you never want to. That's what I saw them experience. Fall in love, go through bad and good and face the worst, but never forgetting the best in each other. So I raise my glass to true and unconditional love, to Rachel and Owen" he said and everyone raised their glasses. It was such a touching speech that I looked at my card and felt embarrassed, my speech wasn't half as good. Nevertheless I got up and smiled at the crowd. My heart was beating fast._

_"__Rachel once asked me how I could have trusted someone unconditionally and how I could offer a heart to someone, who might break it" I breathed in and out as I remembered that it was 4 years ago, when I was dating Nathan. _

_"__I didn't even think about it and told her, because you get rewarded with unconditional love. It was just than that I realized how much this was true" I smiled at the people around me who now were close to their love ones hugged them or put linked hands. _

_"__I'm glad she decided to give her heart to Owen, because I know you all can see him holding to it with his life and treating it like what it is – fragile and breakable. I think a lot of people don't believe in true love anymore and I can tell you Rachel and Owen prove us wrong. They found each other at a very young age and many would have said that this can't be true love yet, but they knew better and they proved us wrong. True love can be found and that's what they make us believe in again" I said and glasses were raised. I sat down again and felt Julian's arm around me and Nathan's eyes on mine. I guess they both felt like I was talking about them and I wondered to myself who I was referring to._

_"__The dance" Rachel smirked at me and Nathan. I already forgot that the married couple opened the dance floor and that their maid of honor and best man were supposed to join them for the first song._

___I smiled at Julian uncomfortable and he nodded. I think it wasn't an approving nod, but more of an "I can't stop you anyway"-nod, but I accepted whatever I would get. It was Rachel's day and she should get a perfect opening of the dance floor. A slow song was played as Rachel and Owen started to dance, they swirled around the dance floor and it seemed free-and-easy. Nathan offered me his hand and I took it, so he led me to the dance floor as well. His one hand was on my lower back and the was in the air. My arm was on his and my other arm was placed on his shoulder as we started to move to the music._

_"__He watches us carefully now" Nathan noticed and I agreed with a nod._

_"__How did he react?" he wondered and I simply shrugged._

_"__I don't know" I whispered "he needs time I guess" _

_"__Oh" Nathan was surprised and I could feel his hand constricted behind my back._

_"__So I guess this will be goodbye than" he said and I felt lost for a moment. I didn't expect him to tell me goodbye so soon. I looked into his blue eyes and his tortured smirk, which seemed to be nice but cost him too much self-control. _

_"__Already?" I asked and felt how my hands trembled on his arm. It was hard to concentrate and I felt like the floor disappeared beneath my feet._

_"__Well I guess I won't be so close to you again tonight" he said in regret and I noticed Julian's glare again. _

_"__I guess" I mumbled. He was right and it hurt me, I was forced to say goodbye here and now. It wasn't a private thing._

_"__I would love to hug you goodbye, or at least dance closer, but your boyfriend is watching" he whispered and I nodded._

_"__I know" I agreed and we danced on._

_"__It was nice to see you again, though it was painful as well" Nathan laughed and I looked up at him._

_"__I'm sorry Nathan" I whispered and he agreed in silence, like he was approving my gesture. His blue eyes were fixing mine and I was speechless for a while. I couldn't understand how he could be so hurt and still so sweet._

_"__I hope you'll get into NBA" I smiled comforting. I wanted this to be more about why he was leaving and less about losing him._

_"__Thanks" he smiled and we danced in silence because I didn't know what to say. _

_"__I'll miss you Brooke Davis" he said and I had tears in my eyes._

_"__I'll miss you too, Nathan Scott" I whispered back. It was true I would miss him and if I was true to myself a part of me missed him all these 4 years._

_"__You go and be happy" Nathan murmured. I knew it killed him that I would be happy with Julian and still he wished for me to be happy. I was amazed. _

_"__You too" I smirked through the watery eyes and there was nothing left to say. I saw how his blue eyes went cold and rigid as he heard the song stop. _

_"__Goodbye" he whispered._

_"__Goodbye" I breathed out and he let me go._

Another sleepless night passed. It was a tearful night and a hard one, because of the decision I had to make. It was Nathan versus Julian. They both had a part of me preoccupied. This wouldn't be easy at all. They both were great in their own way. And I tried to find reasons for my decision because I already felt the time slipping through my fingers. I knew it was time to make up my mind, I already hurt them both so much it was unfair of me not to figure out what I want in my life or better whom I wanted. The thoughts about the both of them leaving were running through my head and I didn't know how long I could take it. I thought over and over about the things they said or did. I remembered how Nathan wanted to marry me and spend his life with me. Julian on the other hand was able to see past my mistakes and wanted to stay with me even after I cheated on him. I thought about unconditional love and true love. I wondered if someone could help me with my decision, but it wouldn't be fair. I had the advantage to have the house to myself, because Julian slept in a hotel. No one could have blamed him for that. I was packing my suitcase while defining whom my heart was beating for: Julian's heart and his forgiveness, or Nathan's passion and heart. I woke up after 4 hours sleep and I knew I made my decision and it wasn't an easy one, but it felt right. It was like my heart and mind were in sync for once about what to feel. Who was right and whom I had to let go. I was sitting in the cap and had the envelope with the ticket in my purse. I needed to fix all the mess that I found myself in. Rachel and Owen were in their honeymoon and I only had to say goodbye to Haley and Chris.

"_And you are sure now?" Haley asked and I nodded enthusiastic._

"_I think I see clearly now, he is the one…" I smiled and she grinned._

"_That's good Brooke" she smirked._

"_I guess so" I said and looked for a while at the envelope._

"_It's just hard to let him go" I whispered and she nodded._

"_But I know it's the right thing" I added and she hugged me._

"_I will miss you girl" she smiled and I grinned through the tears._

"_I hope you guys can fix everything" she added and I let go of her._

"_Me too! I'll see you soon, superstar" I smiled and she grinned back to me. It never was easy to say goodbye. Not even if I knew I would see her eventually._

I also stepped by Peyton and wished her luck with the pregnancy and hugged Lucas goodbye.

"_I saw the River Court" Lucas smirked at me "Nathan did too"_

"_I just needed to say a proper goodbye" I whispered and Peyton hugged me._

"_You made him happy" she murmured. _

_I could see him walk to the River Court before the flight, that's why I painted a message on it. Nathan would be surprised and probably embarrassed but deep inside he would like it. I hoped it would give him some straight and take away at least a part of the pain I caused him._

"_It was a very nice thought" Lucas admitted and I smiled._

"_He liked it" Peyton added and I knew that the he, she was referring to was Nathan._

"_I know!" I whispered and hugged her once again._

"_Take care of that girly girl inside there" I pointed at her stomach "and I hope to see you soon" I smiled and she hugged me tighter._

"_I already miss you B. Davis" she whispered._

"_I miss you too P. Sawyer" I said and Lucas walked me to the cap with her._

Now the cab was in front of the airport and my heart was beating like crazy. I didn't know what was waiting for me in there. He already left with the flight before this one and I felt my knees shake as I walked to the check in.


	32. Chapter 32

I was standing in front of his door. My heart was beating like crazy and I wondered if it was normal. I knocked. I didn't think it all through; I just knew I needed to be there. So all flight here my head was about to explode about what I would say and how he would react. I knew it wouldn't be easy, but all the words that entered my mind were meaningless and I hoped that when I would face him, the right phrases would enter my mind. The footsteps inside were getting louder and louder until they stopped on the other side of the door. My heart was still pounding mad. I heard the door open and his voice rang in my ears.

"I didn't ask for room service" he said in a bitter tone and looked at me. His eyes were filled with surprise and his mouth wasn't completely closed yet. I hesitated before I could say anything. I still hoped for the right words.

"Hi" I whispered and his eyes focused on me still in surprise. This wasn't what I was aiming for but it was better than nothing.

"Brooke" he whispered and I nodded. We both were paralyzed at each other's gaze and unable to say more for now. My hand was tightly holding my purse and I was slightly shaking. He just stood there unable to move. I hoped that this would be much easier. I looked into his now warm eyes and insecurely bit my under lip.

I walked inside, past him and turned around to watch him again as he closed the door behind me.

"I don't know what I came here for" I said and he was still watching my every move "I didn't think through what I would do if I face you now again"

This was the whole truth and it just escaped my mouth before my brain could approve or disapprove of it. He just watched me talk effervesced. I was nervous and unsure of what I was doing right there.

"I just thought that I really need to see you and to make you forgive me" I whispered "because it feels right, to be close to you and I get when you need time to forgive me or to trust me ever again. I know I put you through…" I was interrupted in midsentence.

"God, I hoped you would come here so much" he said and lifted me up. I felt free and secure in his hug and happy tears escaped my eyes. His lips touched mine and I let my purse fall down on the floor, so I could grip his hair and make the kiss last longer. His kiss was intoxicating and I tightened my embrace. It was soft but still passionate and for a second all the thoughts left my mind. I missed him so much and butterflies were in my stomach as he let go of me and softly put me on the floor. I smiled insecure and he had a big smirk on his face. He really seemed to be happy to see me.

We stood there for a while just looking in each other's eyes. It could have lasted hours and I wouldn't be tired to face him. He put my hand on his chest and smiled.

"Look what you do to me" he whispered and I felt his heart pump fast in his chest. The warmth of his hand around mine made my heart make a flip inside and I smiled at him. He still looked preoccupied, he wanted to know something, something that could have ruined the moment or made it even better.

"Does he know where you are?" he asked after a while and I felt a shiver run down my spine "did you end it?"

_I was standing in front of him and looked in his brown eyes._

_I hugged him and knew that it was the hardest way to say goodbye and that I would probably break his sweet and loving heart. I knew I had to walk away and that I would leave him there alone and brokenhearted. I knew I had to leave him and make him choose another plan for his life, one that didn't involve me. I felt tears in my eyes, because I knew that it wouldn't be an easy goodbye._

"_I can't come with you Julian" I whispered and he stiffened and I was holding back the tears. I wanted to make it as easy as possible._

_It was hard to face his teary eyes as he stepped closer to see me. First as he saw me his eyes sparkled in happiness and now that he realized what I came here for, his eyes were upset and hurting._

"_Are you leaving me because of what you did?" he asked, it sounded like a plead and I swallowed. I somehow wished I could say yes, because it would make me a better person than I was, but I couldn't lie to him, not now._

"_No, I am leaving you, because I still love him and I thought I didn't" I whispered and it felt like Julian and I were now on separate planets. I knew it was the end of us and he did too. We stood there unable to say anything and I gave him the envelope._

"_I'm sorry" I whispered and he took it from me._

"_I hoped you would come with me, but I was fooling myself" he said and I felt so sorry for all I did._

"_I can't explain how much I regret to hurt you and how much I wish I didn't have to. Julian you were such a great boyfriend and you never doubt me, I just wish I could have let him go for you" I bit my lip "It's just, I couldn't" my lips trembled._

"_I was holding on to you and tried so hard to be the one for you, but I know now that I am not" I whispered "and I know you try to hold on to me, giving me time and even taking me back, but I've done you wrong and I don't think there is a good excuse for that" I explained and tears were falling down my face. I was so sure I could control myself, but I was wrong._

"_I'm in this too far, I think I can't let go of him" I said and knew that this broke his heart. I could see it fall apart in thousands of pieces._

"_I thought I can make it work if I try and lie to myself about how I feel towards him, I tried to tell myself we were just friends, but I was fooling you and myself"_

_Julian listened passionately and wiped away the tears._

"_So this is goodbye?" he wondered and I nodded._

"_I wished I knew this from the start, I wouldn't have hurt you so much and we wouldn't went this far" I was biting my lip and he pulled me into a short hug._

"_Goodbye Brooke Davis" he said, and let me go. Tears were still running down my face._

"_I hope you know this wasn't easy" I murmured and he nodded._

"_I really need to go now" he said and turned away. I watched him leave and felt lost for a moment. I knew how much I've hurt him and how little he deserved this. I just hoped that I had made the right decision. I walked over to the counter and looked at a blonde woman who was smiling at me brightly._

"_A ticket to New York please" I said still in tears and she told me that I had to wait 4 more hours. Enough time to say goodbye to all my friends._

Nathan's eyes softened and he pulled my head up to him. I wasn't proud of what I've done and he knew it. Ashamed I looked into his blue eyes and he caressed my cheek. As he saw the sadness in them he hesitated and I knew he thought I doubted my decision.

"It was the right thing to do, it was what my heart wanted" I whispered "I know you probably need time to trust me…" I stuttered and my hands were shaking and he was holding my hand still on his chest. He was pleased to hear me say that. His blue eyes were sparkling and I felt how he put his arm around my waist and put his chin on my head.

"I've missed you so much" he said and I felt a big stone falling down my chest. He was happy to see me and I knew it was the right to be here with him. I smelled him and felt his touch on my skin. It was like a dream, but much better.

"I still love you" I whispered. A smile appeared on his face; like this was exactly the sentence he was waiting for. And I knew it was exactly what I wanted to tell him, no matter if he could say it back or not.

"I love you too" he breathed out and caressed my cheeks. My heart was beating like the first time I kissed him as he pressed his lips on mine. It felt so right to hear him say that. My fears disappeared and the butterflies flew wildly around in my stomach.

"I'm glad you came" he whispered in my hair and I smiled. I felt so secure.

"I needed to come here and tell you how I felt about you before you would decide if you move on without me, I just know that was what I should have done…moved on with you" I mumbled into his chest.

"You can't even imagine how much I wanted this" he smiled and kissed my cheek and my collarbone.

I smiled at each kiss and caressed his cheek. His heart still was beating pretty fast and his skin was soft and warm. I had no doubt that he meant each and every word of it.

"Right back at you" I whispered and felt how tears escaped my eyes again. I felt sleepy, but couldn't let my eyes close for longer than seconds.

"You look a bit tired" he said as he saw my eyes fall shut for a second.

"I haven't slept in 3 days, I was thinking about you and deciding what I want" I confessed and he kissed my hair again "and I want you Nathan Scott, I probably knew it all this time, but I was afraid that you didn't want me anymore, that you moved on you never came…"

"I was in L.A 3 years ago Brooke" he whispered and I let go of him just to face him. This was an unexpected turn and I looked up at his blue eyes which were soft on mine.

"I made it to your room, but I couldn't knock" he admitted and I saw in his tortured eyes.

"To see you or to find out you moved on, would have killed me back then" he said and I looked up at him. He had been to L.A like I always hoped for. I couldn't believe that he was so close to me back then and still so far away. That probably one door was between us and if I walked out in this very moment I would have been in his arms…

"I thought you moved on" he whispered and tears were running even more down my face.

We both broke each other and he was the only one who could really fix me.

"I didn't, I just started to work, and to get over all we have been through" I explained and his grip around me constricted.

"That's why I concentrated so hard on basketball" he confessed and I went up on my tip toes and kissed his chin. For a moment I wasn't sure of what was left to say. His eyes were on mine. We both were tortured and went through a lot and still it felt like destiny was guiding us here to be together to heal each other.

"You seem tired, we should probably lie down" he suggested and I walked with him to the bed. I was cuddled into his arms, my head in his chest and his finger ran up and down my arm. His breathing was even and I felt how my head was lifted and sunk with every breath.

"I hoped that your writing on the River Court was a sign" he smirked and pulled me closer. I smiled at his calm and caring voice. I remembered how I wrote these things on the play ground of the River Side.

_He was standing in the middle of the River Court and looked down on the black letters I wrote. They told him how unique he was and how talented, how big his heart was and how much I wished for him to succeed and that I still loved him and that I probably always would love him. He was my first love; he was a force in my life that was hard to ignore. He would always be there in my heart and that I wanted him to chase his dreams, because I loved his strong will and his passion for things that he loved. He was smiling at each and every letter, because he saw how I would write them and how much I thought about every word. I told him how he would be chosen for NBA, because he was destined to be great, to be better than the rest. He was Nathan Scott, he was the boy who could blindly score a free throw and who would give more than 100 % at each game._

I smiled as I saw his childish grin and kissed his under lip.

"I meant every word of it" I said and he kissed my forehead.

"Thank you" he smiled and I couldn't resist and close my eyes. It felt so right to be in his arms. I was feeling the warmth that I've missed so much and I was calm for the first time. It felt like the world order was back to normal, things were like they were supposed to be. I was supposed to be right there in his arms.

"You should get some sleep" he murmured in my hair.

I nodded against his chest and fell asleep. I knew that I was destined to be there and that it was where I should have been all this time. It was the best sleep I got for weeks.


	33. Chapter 33

_Thank you all for your great reviews! and as you guys always inspire me I made a wallpaper for this story...and wanted to share it with you, though I have to warn you this are my first try-outs with photoshop!_ .com/spots/brathan/images/7923681/title/brathan-wallpaper

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I was waiting impassionedly in front of the gym. I was really pissed that no one was allowed in there. What was the bigger deal if a person would have watched, it's not like it wasn't high official. I couldn't believe that at least 20 journalists were in there but I had to wait out here. I waited the whole hour in front of the gym and didn't know how long it would take. My cell was on vibration, because I couldn't embarrass Nathan like that. I really wasn't the calm waiting type; I was going nuts in here. I wasn't sure if I was Nathan's girlfriend now or not, but I just wanted to support him here and I really wondered why no other girlfriend or wife was here.

"_Last kiss" he smiled and picked my lips._

"_You're not going to die" I murmured against his lips and he nodded._

"_I know but last kiss before I have to leave you here and go in there proving myself that I could do this" he kissed me once again and I held myself on his arm._

"_You can do this, and I will be right here waiting for you" I smiled and he leaned closer again and kissed my lips._

"_I hope you are right" he still said into my lips._

"_Of course I am" I said and pulled away from him "don't you dare ever doubt your greatness" I kicked my eyebrow up and smiled. His arms were tight around me and he smirked at my little encouragement talk._

"_You will always be my lucky charm" he smiled and I felt my heart jump higher as I heard this. He pulled me closer and his lips were almost touching mine._

"_Scott" some guy that obviously was auditioned as well screamed._

_Nathan picked my lips and rolled his eyes._

"_I really would have loved to stay in the hotel with you" he whispered and I saw a spark in his eyes._

"_You really think you are getting this lucky?" I wondered in a teasing voice._

"_I never thought I get this lucky ever again" he fast kissed my cheek and let go of me._

"_I should go now" he whispered and I smiled._

"_Good luck" I murmured and saw him run off. He looked so hot in his uniform and I watched all his muscles as he ran off. The door was closed and I was left there alone. In the hallway all by myself I started to make some calls about my clothing line._

I was getting nervous outside. The sound of basketballs hitting the floor was heard as well as before many footsteps and running noises. I just hoped it would be over soon. I couldn't take it anymore my excitement was just too much to take right now. Suddenly I heard someone run for the door and it flew open. Nathan was standing in front of me, he was sweaty and totally done, it looked like he was working out for days rather than an hour. He put his arms around me and lifted me up.

"I'm in" he muttered in my ear and I couldn't stop myself and cheered.

I started to kiss his cheek and his collarbone. He smiled and let me down kissing my lips. The guys were cheering and laughing.

"Don't tell me he is dating a cheerleader" some guys muttered.

"I think I saw her on TV, she is a model or something like that" another was telling and I didn't care as long as I was in Nate's arms.

Nathan broke his lips away from mine and I watched his blue eyes and his bride smile, I was so proud of his achievement. I couldn't believe that he already made it. I was feeling free and careless.

"Who is the girl?" A dark-haired boy asked and I looked at him. He had gorgeous eyes and a darker taint.

"This is Brooke Davis" he introduced us "and this is Mike" he smiled at the big guy.

"Nice to meet you Brooke" Mike smiled and shook my hand.

"So we see you later Scott" the guys mumbled and walked to get changed.

"See you" Nathan said back to them and finally faced me again.

"So how do you feel?" I asked facing him again.

"What do you mean?" he wondered and I grinned brightly.

"There are just few moments in life where you can say – this is when it all changed. This is one of them" I put my hand on his chest and he put his on top of it.

"I don't know, how it feels, but I am glad my girlfriend waited passionately here for me" he smiled and my heart was beating like crazy.

"Girlfriend?" I wondered and he caressed my hand.

"Well I hoped that's what you are now" he smiled unsure and I went on my toes to kiss him.

"I hoped you would say something like that" I smiled.

"Actually" he teasingly leaned forwards and got a bit back when I tried to kiss him. I pouted because he moved away from me.

"So I could ask you now, any regrets? Now that you've chosen your life to change" he wondered and I noticed that his voice had a serious tone. He really wanted to know if I regretted choosing him over Julian.

"No regrets this far, though my boyfriend doesn't kiss me anymore" I pouted and a grin escaped him. He sucked my lower lip between his and kissed me until the pout vanished.

"And now?" he wondered.

"I am a happy girl" I smiled and took his hand in mine.

The guys already left the gym as well as the jury that was picking the players. We still were standing in the hallway and kissing each other. It felt like we were in High School again. He was pressing my body against the wall and I laughed.

"I should get a quick shower" Nathan said after a while and I smiled at him.

"You need a cold shower already?" I smirked and he laughed against my skin.

"If you could only imagine" he smirked and I felt how my knees were weak. It was really like we were in love for the first time all over again and I enjoyed every second of this.

"I'll wait" I smirked at his disappointed face expression and let him walk away.

He was standing in the shower. Hot water was running down his well defined body and I grinned as I noticed that his eyes were closed. After a while he turned around just to find me standing there with only a towel.

"Brooke" he said shocked and I looked around just to see if someone was there. The showers were empty.

"You made me all sweaty" I complained and he watched my towel so I let it fall down.

"Oops" I played like I was in total shock and an evil grin appeared on Nathan's face as he pulled me closer to him and under his shower. Warm water was falling down on me and he tickled me.

"You really shouldn't have done that" he whispered against my skin and I laughed because it was still tickling. His arms tightened around me and he smiled at me.

"You really shouldn't have done that" he repeated and I looked in his big blue eyes.

"I wanted to" I smirked "I want you" I said and his lips were already found mine and stopped me from any other explanation.

"This was risky Davis" he smiled as we both walked out of the shower with my towel around both of our bodies.

"Are you complaining?" I wondered and he kissed my shoulder.

"I would never even think about complaining" he smirked and I shrugged because his breath was tickling me again.

"We meet with the others at seven, so we have two hours" he said with a big smile on his face.

"Are you really this needy?" I wondered and was kissed until I couldn't talk anymore.

"You call me needy?" he asked and looked me in my eyes with a winning smirk.

"You are the one seducing a poor guy in the shower" he said and I couldn't believe he just said that "but I get it, I'm just irresistible" he said and I pulled the towel away from him and ran away.

"Oh you are going to regret this" he screamed after me as I ran for his clothes and grabbed them.

"So who is needy now?" I asked and he looked tense at me, though with a smile.

"What do you want?" he wondered.

"I like winning" I smirked and looked around to annoy him a bit.

"Come on Brooke" he said daring and I laughed.

"First, who is needy now?" I asked again and he got the message.

"Me" he rolled his eyes.

"I'm not impressed" I said and whirled his boxers around.

"Okay me" he said more convincing and I smirked as he got his boxers right at his head.

"You will pay for this" he said as he took all the other clothes from my hands and I laughed.

"Calling me needy" I shook my head and he kissed my shoulder.

"Never going to happen again" he promised and I smiled brightly.

We finally got out of the dressing room fully dressed and Nathan was holding me in his arm.

"The others will be already waiting" Nathan said as he checked the clock.

"It didn't take us this long" I shook my head until he showed me his watch.

"Oh" I couldn't believe it. We in fact were already late. We had only 15 minutes to get to the other side of the town. I was glad that I fixed my hair and my make-up.

Nathan grinned at me as I tried to get a cap. We were half an hour late as we finally made it to the bar.

"Scott" the guys raised their glasses and he smiled still holding me in his arm.

"And Scott's girl" someone added and I laughed. There were only a few girls, but I guessed it was a guy's night anyway. So I wanted to join the female part of the group but Nathan's grip didn't let me.

"Where are you think that you are going?" he asked and was given two beer form the guys.

"I wanted to let you celebrate" I said slowly recognizing some stares on me.

"You don't have to, it's fun to meet the girl that made him such a great player" one of them said and Nathan fast changed the subject.

"So are you have a ritual for the new guy?" he asked and I glanced at him.

"Nah, we treat him just like crap if we don't like him, but you seem okay" Mike said and smiled at me softly. I smiled back and couldn't stop myself from wondering how they meant that I made Nathan this good.

Nathan was drinking with the others and they told me how aggressive Nathan first played and that Pete, at least I think his name was Pete, needed to see a doctor after their first game together.

"You were brutal?" I wondered and Nathan just looked away uncomfortable.

"I had a bad day" he just stated and I felt that he was tense, because he stopped caressing my arm.

It was already dark as we left the bar and the guys complained that we were leaving way too early. Though we almost had any possible variation of the toast "to Nathan the new player of Charlotte Bobcats" and had as many drinks.

"What did they mean by the girl that made you such a good player" I wondered and he laughed uncomfortable.

"You've heard this, huh?" he wondered and I squeezed his hand.

"Yes" I just said and waited for an answer.

"Well, I auditioned here after you left" he explained and I knew nothing good would follow this line.

"I thought I needed to fix my life, to make myself worth something again" he said and I turned to face him in shock.

"Well I thought you left me because I wasn't enough" he mumbled into his teeth and I squeezed his hand once again.

"I wasn't even asked to walk inside, they told me I was physically not in the right shape" he explained and I listened to each and every word trying to understand him.

"The next time I was allowed to audition, was when I saw you with Julian in town" he just admitted and I tensed around him.

"I was hurt Brooke and I was in pain, so I decided to let it out" he continued "that's how Pete got hurt, I just fouled and the trainer saw the passion in me and decided that I was worth a try"

"Nathan" I breathed out and he pulled my head up.

"I don't want you to feel guilty" he said and I watched his blue eyes and could tell he meant it.

"I never thought you weren't enough though" I said and watched his blue eyes focus on mine.

"I know it now" he said and kissed me.

We made it to the hotel room and I was lying in his arms.

"So now that we are official" I started unsure and he kissed my hair.

"Yes?" he wondered and it still felt great to say it. Officially I was dating Nathan now.

"I mean shouldn't we talk about I don't know…" I trailed away.

"Everything?" he asked and I nodded.

"You start with a question" I suggested and he agreed. He hesitated a bit, but then he just leaned closer to me.

"Okay, so why did you pick me than?" he asked and I kissed his chest.

"Because you are hot" I laughed. I just felt like I had to ease the tension and he kissed my hair waiting for the real answer. He really needed to know this I guess.

"I wasn't ready to lose you" I explained and he kissed my cheek.

"I wasn't ready to be lost" he smiled softly and kissed my lips.

"Why did you leave Carrie?" I wondered and he just looked into my eyes.

"Because I couldn't move on with my life" he mumbled "as long as you weren't part of it"

I cuddled myself more in his warm arms and looked up at him. It was hard to understand how we got here and how hard the way was, but I was glad to have made it here. I closed my eyes and fell asleep.


	34. Chapter 34

"Scott and Davis found a way to be together after all" Owen smirked at us as we met him and Rachel at the club.

"God, why does anyone already know?" I asked and Owen laughed.

"First of all" he went for a dramatic break "it's obvious"

Rachel rolled her eyes and smiled at me. I should have expected that one after I marched inside with a big smile and a dark haired Scott holding my hand.

"Second of all you told me, your boy toy told him" she smirked. I met the girls before and I should have known that Nathan and Owen would see each other as well. This was the problem if you dated someone whom you were friends with. All the information would be easily shared between your friends.

"Lucas told me, before you did, thanks by the way" Peyton smirked and I looked back at Haley. I started to feel guilty and I glanced at Nathan, I didn't need to ask where his brother got the information from.

"You told me, and I kind of told Chris" Haley said ashamed and Nathan's grip around me tightened.

"See and you were nervous about telling them" he laughed and I rolled my eyes.

"Yeah, how stupid was that?" I said playing annoyed.

We just came back from New York, because Nathan and I needed some private time to just date and be together, alone. This was probably a weird expression. We spend time with his new team mates and their wives and girlfriends. They were really nice guys of course some of them were just real players, who rather dated cheerleaders than had a real relationship. Pete brought 3 different girls in this week to the dinners. Mike and Nathan had a private joke about that already. Mike was the nicest guy there and he totally liked Nathan, because they were in basketball camp together before and their dad's were similarly obsessed with basketball.

Today we landed and were with our friends, we wanted to celebrate that Nathan was picked for NBA, and obviously talk about our private life.

"So you didn't waste any time, playing NBA, getting the girl back…" Owen laughed and I rolled my eyes.

"Are you going to have the same talk as he already had with Lucas?" I asked and Nathan kissed my shoulder.

"No, Owen is much more mature" he whispered against my skin until I had goose bumps.

"Hey" Lucas complained and Peyton caressed his cheek.

"No, I am not" he said in sync with Rachel who just exchanged the I with a he.

I laughed and Nathan joined me.

"_Hey little brother" Lucas said as he pulled Nate into a hug and congratulated him. He and Peyton were waiting passionately for our plane. It was pretty early and first P. Sawyer seemed to be sleepy, but once she saw me and Nathan holding hands she were psyched. Lucas was grinning as we came closer._

"_Are you nervous?" Nathan asked me before we reached our friends._

"_A bit" I confessed and now I watched him being hugged while I was in Peyton's arms._

"_You don't waste time do you?" she whispered in my ear and I laughed. It was just what I would have expected if my mind would have worked at all. I was really nervous about how everyone would react to the news. In New York people didn't know us and saw us just as a couple. Back here people knew the history and the relationships we were in, so this would be different. But then again these were the people that cared about us so much. Peyton's voice was excited and I tried to play it calm._

"_Nice to see you too, Peyton" I smirked._

"_Do not give me attitude" she laughed and heard the guys talk about Nathan's motivation._

"_I'm glad I had a beautiful girl to distract me" Nathan mumbled and Lucas started to smirk "boom chica wow wow" he sing sang and I rolled my eyes and Peyton put her arms away from me._

"_Very mature, boys" I said and Peyton grinned at me .I was watching the two brothers stare at me in surprise._

"_Yes I have ears" I imitated their shocked faces._

_For a while it was silent and Peyton walked closer to us and asked what she was holding back so badly._

"_So are you two official now?" she asked and I glanced at Nathan._

_His blue eyes were focused on mine and his smile never vanished from his face. He walked over and put his arms around me. I felt him close to me and had to smirk too._

"_I'll never let her go again" he whispered and I put my hands on his arm._

"_His way to say yes" I translated and felt his chin on my shoulders._

"_I'm not going anywhere" In smiled at him and added "yet"_

"_Yet?" he pouted and I laughed._

"_I planned on getting home sometime soon" I said and he turned me around so I was really facing him._

"_How about I join you?" he wondered and Peyton laughed._

"_Get a room" Lucas laughed and I smirked at Nathan._

"_And I thought you might want to tell us all the details" she complained._

"_How about tonight at O's?" I asked and she agreed. They helped us bringing the suitcases to the car and drove us home._

"Okay, let's start with an easier subject" Owen made a grimace towards me and I laughed.

"How were the try outs?" he wondered and I smirked up to Nathan.

He was always excited to tell about all the running and tests that he had to walk through. So he easily changed the subject. He talked about his new team mates and the new schedule that he was given. He needed to work out more often and needed to spend some weekends in New York.

"Anyway it's not like I am going to play a lot, actually I'm just a benched player in the NBA, but it is a start" Nathan explained as the guys started to ask different questions.

"Are you kidding me?" Lucas interrupted "It's your dream"

"It sometimes feels like that" Nathan said and tightened his grip around me and I smiled.

"Oh man, I think someone is in love" Owen teased and Rachel rolled her eyes.

"Stating the obvious" she said and he pulled her closer and caressed her arm.

"Didn't I tell you, he is mature?" Nathan laughed and kissed my cheek.

"I heard something like that coming from your mouth and I thought it would take you longer to lie to me" I whispered back.

"This hurt" Chris laughed and Nathan just pouted until I kissed his lips.

Some topics started up again and I just didn't join any of them yet. I was feeling glad and enjoyed this feeling. I still had butterflies in my stomach when Nathan touched me or gave me a kiss. It was a new and fresh start though the person I had it with was familiar,

"Are you planning to go with him all the time?" Rachel asked and I turned around to face her. This was a good question and brought me back to reality. Nathan and I never talked about this, though we decided to talk about everything there was, we never really did. Most of the time we talked about the 4 years we spend apart and how we hurt each other: about his first steps towards NBA try outs and my first achievements as a designer. We realized that our driving was our loss and we managed to make the best out of this. He was living his dream and I was following mine. I guess we wouldn't come that far if we didn't have to work to get over the pain. We also planned on never hurt the other like this again, but talking about future? We haven't done that. I wasn't sure if he wanted me to go with him all the time and I wasn't sure I should have so I just shrugged.

"I don't know yet" I simply said and Nathan looked down at me.

"I think I will, if he wants me to and if I don't have to work myself, you know the little clothing line I built up" I whispered and he kissed my hair.

"Sounds nice" he mumbled.

I knew he would understand if I couldn't come with him all the time but I wanted him to know that I really wanted to walk every step with him on his way up no matter how many downs we would have during it. I think I was devoted to him already.

Haley caught my eyes and smiled brightly. She was happy to see me in Nathan's arms. They all didn't care who I was dating as long as I was happy.

"_So it was always Nathan?" Haley asked and I insecurely sipped my champagne. I was sitting in her living room and the other girls were there too. Rachel just called and commanded me to move my ass to Haley and tell her every detail._

"_I guess deep inside" I muttered._

_I wasn't sure how to explain what I felt for Nathan, I just knew that he was the one and my heart did too, it was just so hard to vocalize what I was feeling._

"_And Julian?" Peyton wanted to know and I swallowed. I almost forgot that I've hurt Julian so much._

"_I think I loved him, because he was a great guy and you all knew how caring and lovely he was, but he was not Nathan" I tried to explain what I've felt and Rachel smirked._

"_Took you long enough" she mumbled._

"_You said I should stay with Nathan, did you already forgot?" I asked in shock and Haley and Peyton looked at the red-haired._

"_Well…" she searched for an excuse "I didn't want to ruin your relationship to Mr. Perfect"_

"_Now you sound just like Nathan" I complained and Peyton laughed._

"_He called him Mr. Perfect?" she asked and I nodded._

"_He doesn't like to call him by name, at least he didn't while I was dating him" I explained._

"_Totally weird" Rachel said in an undertone and Haley joined my laughter._

"_I guess it isn't" I admitted._

"_You weren't a big fan of Carrie either" Rachel reminded me and I remembered Carrie's face as she figured out that I was the reason Nathan broke up with her._

"_How did you know it was Nathan?" Haley asked changing the subject._

"_I wasn't ready to lose him and it was hard to be around him, but even harder to be without him" I explained and Rachel smiled at me._

"_I think it's just how it is supposed to be sometimes" she whispered and I nodded._

"_You know I had to force myself to look away and not to take his hand, because I was in a relationship and so was he, but it felt wrong not to be around him"_

_The girls were silent and I took another sip of my drink._

"_Now we are all boring and in serious relationships" I said after a while and they started to laugh._

"_We drink to that" Rachel raised her glass and we all drank. Of course Peyton only had juice._

"_How is sweet girl?" I asked and Peyton looked worried for a moment._

"_She's fine" she muttered and I looked at her skeptical._

"_I'll have a check up later" Peyton muttered "she is a bit vivid"_

_I put my hand on her stomach and she smirked a bit._

"_Everything is going to be okay" I promised and she nodded._

"Okay you are officially - love sick" Rachel laughed at us and I rolled my eyes. The red haired watched us for a while now and I had to laugh as I saw the glow in Owen's eyes.

"So are we sweetheart" Owen smiled and pulled her into a long passionate kiss and left her stunning.

"Oh well" she rolled her eyes and kissed him back and a song she loved just came. She leaned against him and watched me for a while.

"Does Miss love sick, want to dance?" I asked and she nodded.

"Alright" I tried to get up but Nathan didn't want to let me.

"One kiss per song" he smiled and pulled him down by grabbing his shirt and gave him a kiss.

"Okay" he smiled and I could escape his arms.

Haley laughed and followed mine and Rachel's lead. Peyton wanted to follow too, but she was held tight by Lucas.

"You shouldn't" he whispered and she shook her head.

"I'm pregnant, not ill" she defended herself and I grabbed her hand. Lucas wanted to say something in his defense but Peyton stared him down.

As we were on the dance floor Owen joined us and swirled me around so I was facing him.

"We need to talk" he mumbled and I checked the table where we were sitting before. Nathan still talked to Chris and Lucas.

"I told him I need to go to the storage" Owen explained. I looked confused but followed him.

We were in the small room where all the liquor was and Owen looked at me tense. I was a bit panicked and wondered what he wanted.

"I just want to make sure you know what you are doing here" he mumbled and I looked around in the room. If it wouldn't be Owen I probably would be scared by now for other reason's than the talk he was about to hold.

"You hurt him last time, and I just don't want you to do it again" he whispered and I finally understood why we were here.

"100 per cent" I smiled at him and he shook his head.

"That's not enough Brooke, you need more than that" he said and looked at me. I couldn't believe how much this meant to him.

"I will not hurt him again" I defended myself "I love him Owen"

"You said it the last time" he mumbled and I knew that he wanted to believe me.

"I meant it last time" I whispered "I really did"

"So what changed?" he wondered and I had to think about it. I knew the answer but I hesitated before I could vocalize it. Owen stood there waiting passionately, but after a while he couldn't resist it anymore.

"Because if nothing changed…" he started again.

"I can see a future now" I murmured and he stopped in his sentence.

"I can see a future with him Owen" I said more confident again and Owen smiled.

"That's good enough!" he agreed.

"You know I think that this is great, right?" he asked "I always thought you were great together"

"Thanks" I said and felt his arms around me.

"I'm happy for you Brooke" he said and I smiled.

"So I was told to treat you well, or I should sleep with one eye open" Nathan smiled as we walked to his house.

"Rachel?" I laughed and he smirked.

"Who else would tell me and I quote – Because if you survive all the ass kicking I'm gonna do, I at least make sure you will not be able to reproduce" he said and I couldn't believe Rachel would say something like that, but it just sounded so much like her.


	35. Chapter 35

_Hope you guys like the update, please tell me if you want me to continue with the life of them as a couple. Like what they will be going through, see this chapter or should I stop now?_

* * *

I was awake and silently decided to sneak away from Nathan to brush my teeth, I didn't want to wake him so I tip toed to the bath room. I took a new brush out of his shelf and started to brush my teeth. I remembered getting one out of there two days ago and was positively surprised to find that this one was exchanged.

"Good morning" he mumbled after a while, leaning against the doorway and running his hand through his messy hair. He was wearing the pants fitting perfectly the shirt I borrowed from him.

"Did I wake you?" I asked after I spit some of the toothpaste out.

"No you didn't" he smiled and walked closer to me just to put his hands on my hips and place a kiss on my cheek. I smiled and he took my brush from my hand and started to brush his own teeth.

"Hey, it's mine" I playfully complained and he smirked.

"Technically it's mine" he corrected me and I rolled my eyes.

He was right we were in his house so, this was his brush and I actually couldn't find a weak spot here, so I just moved on.

"Tonight we spend in my house" I complained and he laughed as he rinsed "I want to have my stuff around for an exchange".

"Or…" he hesitated and spilled out the toothbrush to rinse.

"Or what?" I wondered and he swirled me around so I was facing him.

"How about…" he leaned against my neck and breathed against it.

I tensed and was curious about what he would suggest next.

"You could have your stuff here" he smiled and kissed my neck. I moaned softly and looked up at him.

"Like a drawer?" I wondered and he smirked for a second before he kissed my lips.

"No like your space, like in moving in together" he whispered against my lips and I smiled.

"Are you trying to seduce me to life with you?" I wondered after realizing what he was doing. His hands finding my hips again and pulling me closer.

"Maybe" he mumbled "does it work?" he asked and I hesitated so that he became a bit nervous.

"I mean you don't have to if you don't want to it was just a suggestion" he stuttered and pulled away from me.

"Where do you think you are going?" I asked pulling him back by his shirt.

"I thought…" he said confused.

"I would love to" I smiled and he kissed me.

"You were messing with me" he said after the kiss and I nodded. He lifted me up and placed me on the sink.

"You'll be really sorry for this" he laughed and kissed me passionately.

"Oh really" I laughed as he lifted me up and brought me back to his bed room and placed me on the bed.

"What are you going to do now?" I asked and he laughed as he laid back in bed and smirked.

"Waiting for an apology breakfast in bed" he smirked and I rolled towards him to kiss him.

"How about we eat out and I pay?" I asked and he laughed.

"Deal" he smiled and I couldn't believe how happy I was that he asked me. I was looking forward to be with him all the time. We were doing great as a couple, we had double dates with our friends and spend a lot of time alone, but the living situation wasn't good enough. And now I was moving in with the guy I loved, this was an awesome day.

"God Brooke how many shoes do you have?" Haley complained as she needed a new box.

"Sorry" I smiled awkward and Rachel laughed.

"That's why she has a clothing line, she can keep all the new clothes and gets other things like shoes and purses from other designers because of her magazine" Rachel laughed as she put some bags into the cartons.

"Yeah that are some of the benefits" I agreed and looked around my room. We were almost done in the living room and the guys were preoccupied with my study.

"And you are sure about moving in with Nathan?" Haley asked and I looked confused.

"Do you guys think, we are moving too fast?" I wondered and put the candles in my hands back to the table.

"No you both were waiting for this forever" Rachel explained and hesitated "but…" she started.

"But?" I repeated after her and Haley tensed.

"What's with the but?" I asked as neither of them answered.

"Don't you remember how it was to move in with Julian?" she asked hoping that I would get what they were pointing at.

"Actually" I smiled at uncomfortable "Me and Julian never lived together"

"What?" they both asked shocked and I faced the floor. I never thought that they all were assuming we lived together for some reason.

"You were so serious with him" Haley said and Rachel nodded.

"Well, we lived on the same floor, so actually it kind of was like living together, though each of us had its private space" I explained and Haley breathed out. They both exchanged a weird look and I was getting nervous.

"What's wrong?" I asked again and they both couldn't decide who should answer that.

"Girls" I warned them.

"Okay there is a lot you should be aware of, if you move in with a guy" Rachel started the lecture. She had a serious voice and looked straight at me.

"You know it's never easy" Haley agreed and I sat down so I was on the same level as they. We had a really long talk before Nathan yelled.

"Are you guys ready?"

"Almost" I screamed back down and Rachel nodded.

"So this is what you have to be aware of" she mumbled and Haley picked up my magazine.

"It was even in B. Davis" she complained and I laughed ashamed.

"I really should read it more often" I smiled a bit worried.

"It doesn't mean it has to be like that with you and Nathan" they both said and laughed. We picked up the last pieces and put them into boxes as Nathan knocked at the door.

"May I come in?" he asked and I walked to open the door.

"Sure" I leaned against the door way and he pressed himself towards me.

"Your doors are really small" he laughed and I kissed his neck.

"Oh really" I laughed as I pressed him away "maybe yours are better" I winked and he walked in to get the boxes.

The guys put the boxes into the guest room and we all relaxed in the living room. We ordered pizza and I offered the guys some beer, but only Chris and Rachel took one.

"I feel like a proud daddy" Owen stated and Rachel rolled her eyes as she took a sip.

"My little girl moves in with her boyfriend" he said towards Rachel and she laughed.

"Oh, so Brooke is our little girl now?" she wondered and Owen smiled.

"First of all, you like her better…" he started and Nathan threw her a look.

"I do" she wanted to say not but was stopped with my stare. She punched Owen slightly.

"Thank you" she complained and Haley was laughing in Chris' arms.

"Second of all, if I would talk to Nathan all my warnings would have been –safety comes first" he laughed and I rolled my eyes at Owen. Nathan laughed and I felt how my body was going with his motion.

"Well thanks for taking care of me O" I laughed and Nathan tightened his grip.

"To Brooke I would say something like, don't let him always get his will and stuff like that" Owen smirked.

"Put down some rules" Chris joined and Nathan kissed my shoulder.

"And if he causes any problems, call me and I kick his chicken ass" Owen laughed and Nathan faced Rachel.

"I thought this was your job" he joked and Rachel caressed Owen's arm.

"I let him play from time to time" she laughed as her boyfriend tickled her. It was really nice to be with them in Nathan's, I mean our new home. I wondered if I really could call this our home. After a while they all left and I was still comfy in the living room, lying on the couch.

"So is baby girl ready to unpack?" he asked as he kneed down beside me and I shook my head.

"Baby girl is tiered" I said in a peep voice and he laughed.

He lifted me from the couch and brought me upstairs.

"This is your official first night here in our home" Nathan smiled as he walked with me through the door.

"I think this is awesome" I smiled and he put me down on the bed.

"That's your place" Nathan whispered and showed me a little closet.

"Come on, you are joking right?" I wondered, because the closet was a toy and I looked around in the big room full of closets.

"Why can't I have one of them?" I wondered.

"Because B. Davis magazine said everyone needs its own space, and this is mine" Nathan stated clearly and I was confused.

"You are joking" I whispered again and Nathan looked down on me and his eyes were warm.

"Carrie never complained" he just said and I couldn't believe that Carrie walked into the room.

"Maybe I made the wrong decision after all" he said and leaned into a kiss with her.

I woke up from this nightmare and punched Nathan's arm for that.

"Good morning" I mumbled as he walked into the kitchen.

"Morning" he said with his hands in the air.

"What are you doing?" I asked and he looked at me totally serious.

"I couldn't find a white flag" he said and sat down.

"You are not funny" I rolled my eyes and he laughed.

"What was the attack about?" he asked and I sipped my coffee.

"I had a bad dream" I explained and he looked worried.

"About?" he asked.

"Moving in together" I explained and he kept his eyes on me. His gaze was worried and I wanted to explain that it wasn't about him, but I didn't want to bring up what Rachel and Haley said so I went for the magazine.

"If you move in with him, don't expect his stuff to move out" I simply read aloud and he gave me an unsure glance.

"_God, Chris had so many photos of girls that he claimed he was with" Haley said and Rachel laughed._

"_I was never shown" she smirked at me "that was the only thing Owen got rid off" she complained and Haley joined her._

"_It was such a fight to get any of my stuff unpacked" she explained._

"_I was feeling like a guest in his house for at least two weeks and he didn't even notice" Rachel said and knowing Owen I was surprised about that._

"_So you think Nathan will be the same?" I wondered and they both nodded._

"_There is no exception to that rule" Rachel rolled her eyes._

"Guys don't like anything to change when a woman moves in" I continued and Nathan took away my coffee. I looked at him in shock and he smirked.

"I need some caffeine to keep up with you" he mumbled and I rolled my eyes.

"You aren't taking this serious" I complained and he got up.

"I like changes, I even changed this place when Carrie moved out" Nathan explained and got himself a cup.

"Funny, because I found a picture of her and you today, in one of the drawers I thought would be mine" I told him and he turned around in shock.

"Sorry Brooke" he whispered and I nodded.

"It's okay, I guess" I mumbled.

"No it's not, I thought I already put them all away" he said.

"Put them away?" I wondered.

"Well, I didn't want to throw them away" Nathan said and I looked back at the article.

"Don't expect his stuff to move" I reread and he walked over to kiss my head.

"What about we search for some solutions instead of pointing out problems Miss Davis" he smirked and I nodded.

"Maybe we should try to get you unpacked, that way you see some of my stuff go and stop believing this stupid article" Nathan laughed.

"Are you calling my work stupid?" I asked and he hit his head with his hand.

"_Expect that you don't know him as well as you always thought" Haley reminded me._

"_Owen listens to country music and sings in the shower really bad" Rachel told me and I had to laugh._

"_Chris really likes to read, he just things it's bad for his image" Haley told me._

"_I know so much about Nathan" I smiled._

"_I found out that Owen is a morning person, he likes to be up soon and go for a run and even make breakfast before I would even wake up, he didn't do that when we were dating, he said that he just does it at home" Rachel explained and I looked worried at her._

"_And considering that you and Nathan were apart for so long, I'm just saying be prepared" Haley warned me._

"The magazine was right, I don't even know who you are" I said and walked away to get in the guest room. I lied down on the bed and looked outside the window.

Nathan knocked on the door and wanted to calm me down at least this was what I thought, but Nathan was just placing some tape on the floor as I opened the door.

"B. Davis magazine says: a guy always needs his space, so I decided that we will live by the rules that are there, because otherwise you never will get how ridiculous this article is" Nathan said standing on his side of the house.

"But so that you know there are rules to this game" Nathan said and I looked at him.

"Rules?" I asked a bit shocked and he smirked.

"See I get the kitchen and the living room, you get the bedroom and bath" he said and I looked confused watching upstairs, where the right bed room was.

"No one sleeps there, while we fight" he just said.

"We are on this floor only" he added and I leaned against the doorway.

"You are serious about this?" I wondered and Nathan smirked as he leaned forwards, just to our new boundary and smirked.

"You can bet on it" he smiled.

"Game on" I smiled and leaned closer as well.

"You cross you lose" he explained and I moved away from him.

"Losing means?" I wondered and he laughed.

"I'm right, you are wrong, about everything" he smirked and walked towards the kitchen.

"I'll go and make myself some delicious food" he teased me and I rolled my eyes.

"You might be good at basketball, but you will lose that one Nathan Scott" I promised him and he laughed from the kitchen.

"Are you trying to threaten me?" he asked and I closed the door to my new room.


	36. Chapter 36

_Thank you guys, and of course I continue as long as you keep reading ;) hope you like the update_!

* * *

As I walked out Nathan was playing a basketball game. The TV was loud and he smirked as he heard my footsteps. He pressed the pause button and turned around.

"Missing your favorite soap, aren't you?" he asked and I rolled my eyes.

"Maybe" I pressed out and he laughed. I

"Just cross the line and you can watch it" he suggested and I couldn't believe he really thought this would work. I loved the soap, but this was more important and how little self-control did he think I had.

"In your dreams Scott" I just whispered, but inside I was proud that he knew what kind of show I was watching, so maybe we knew each other better than I thought. He pressed play again and concentrated on the TV again.

"Was a suggestion" he smiled.

"Nice of you" I emphasized and he laughed.

"I know" he smirked "I'm just such a sweetheart" he laughed.

I walked back inside my room and looked around. I could only find a CD-Player so I pressed start and heard some music instead of the sounds of his Play Station. This was better than being reminded of this game we played. Nathan was trying to make me give in and cross this line, but I wouldn't lose this game.

Even if it was kind of ridiculous, I wouldn't let him win. I was just too eager for this and I wouldn't especially lose because of a TV show.

It was to warm for my clothes so I walked over the little closet just to find his basketball shirt, I put it on and grinned. This was his Ravens uniform with his number and name. I laughed at the mirror as a new plan accrued to me. Thinking of self-control I had a new idea to end this game, especially as I heard steps in front of my door. So I had a reason to walk out, of course I just wanted to see what was going on. I was positively surprised by Nathan's reaction. My plan could work.

"Wow" Nathan smirked at me and I looked down on me.

"Oh I hope you don't bother that I lend this, it is so hot in this room" I said and ran my finger down my neck. I could see the tension in Nathan's face.

"No actually, I think it's suiting you well" he smiled and had his game face on. He tried to control himself, knowing his comment already gave him away.

"Oh thank you" I smiled brightly at him "I just thought you might not want me to wear it" I raised my eyebrows and Nathan looked at me in disbelieve.

"And if I didn't want to?" he asked "hypothetically of course" he added.

"Of course" I agreed and rolled my eyes in total agreement "You would just have to put it off me" I smirked and his eyes were sparkling at me "I would even appreciate that because the _**heat**_ is killing me. Don't you feel the _**heat**_?"

Nathan swallowed and I just continued.

"Therefore you have just to cross this little line" I pointed to the ground. , "but you wouldn't do that, right?" For a moment Nathan was silent.

"Are you saying you're thinking about it?" I wondered in positive surprise and for a moment I saw doubt in his face.

"Oh you are really thinking about this, aren't you?" I teased him and ran my hand through my hair.

"No" he said with all his control and I laughed. You could see how his face twitched.

"You so are" I smiled and playfully bit my forefinger.

"I'm so…" he looked me up and down "not" he said controlled and I laughed.

"Well, I guess I could stay here I mean the temperature here is okay" I turned around to close the door.

Nathan was biting his lip and I could sense victory.

"Though I don't want to be hard on you about this" I said and ran my hand on the side of my body. His eyes followed my movement and I couldn't hide my grin.

"I should grab something to eat" he said and slowly walked to the kitchen, but he turned around to watch me every now and then. I laughed as I saw this and walked inside. Just before I closed my door I kicked my leg and smiled at him.

"I admire your endurance Scott" I laughed "it's a bummer though" I whispered and closed the door.

I could still win this and it felt good to know this. I smiled as I saw his face in front of me again and fell down on the bed.

The room was small and I had nothing to do, so I just was staying in bed. It was already dark outside and my lights were on. Nathan was watching TV and I was bored to death. I only had one CD in this room, so I changed to radio instead. I guess that's why he got the living room, it was much more entertaining. Damn, I should have fought him on that one.

Suddenly I heard a thunder and shrieked. I hated storms. I put the blanket around me and cuddled into it. The thunder was followed by a lightning and I was getting nervous about this. Some seconds passed before the thunder came back and suddenly all lights went off. The radio went silent and also did all other noises.

I hid under my covers and didn't want to look up or outside. Storms really freaked me out, I guess this was the moment all little kids were running to their parents, but I mostly was as alone when I was a child as I was later. My parents didn't really care much about my fears; they just told me that I had to be an adult about it. Just after I met Peyton her parents would invite me over, if a storm was about to come, but I still hated lightning and thunder. Normally people would have lit some candles, but I just didn't want to get out of my bed. Darkness wouldn't be a problem if the lightning wouldn't come every few seconds and if the thunder wouldn't deaf me.

"Brooke?" Nathan asked from the living room "you're okay?" he wondered and I pulled the blanket away enough to answer. I saw lighting and closed my eyes fast.

"Yeah" I said in a shaky voice and put it back.

"You're not scared, right?" he wanted to make sure.

"No" I answered but my voice became a shriek as the thunder was heard again.

It was louder and longer than the last two and I was still hiding under my blanket. I felt arms around me and winced. I felt a hand caressing my hair and some kissed being placed on it.

"Shhh" Nathan calmed me down "it's just me" he said and put the blanket away from me. Now the room was lit by a candle next to my bed and the light was mirrored in his eyes.

"You don't have to worry, I'm here" he smiled.

"But this means you lose" I whispered against his chest.

"I don't care" he laughed and kissed my hair.

I was getting calmer even if it still thundered.

"I don't care who wins, I know how much you hate storms and I want to be there for my girl" he smiled and I looked up at him.

His blue eyes were focused on me and I felt so happy to have him here.

"Thank you" I smiled and kissed his lips.

"I guess I should be there for you, I bet Julian was saving you from storms anytime, as you both lived together"

"We never did" I mumbled and he looked down on me in surprise.

"Never?" he asked and I shook my head.

"So that's why you freaked out about moving in together?" he wondered and I nodded slowly.

"I guess" I agreed and he kissed my cheek.

"You could have told me" he whispered against my cheek and I shook my head.

"How could I have, you were living with Carrie, right?" I pouted and he laughed.

"No and actually you asked her that" he smirked and I remembered.

"Oh, but you said you redecorated as you broke up" I mumbled.

"Well with redecorated I meant getting rid of some of her stuff" Nathan smiled and I smirked.

"Oh" I said feeling silly now. I cuddled myself more into his arms and thought for a while.

"Just because it wasn't Carrie doesn't mean you never lived with a girl before, right?" I wondered and he laughed.

"Actually for me this is as new as for you" he smiled and I put my arm on his chest and caressed it.

"This is nice to know" I mumbled and he nodded in agreement.

"I am as well scared, but I know that living with you is the right thing" he said and I looked back into his intoxicating blue eyes.

"How do you know?" I wondered.

"Because I love you" he smiled and I nodded.

"I love you too"

"And you look really hot in my tricot" he added.

"You would have lost anyway, wouldn't you" I asked and Nathan rolled his eyes.

"It doesn't matter now" he tried to convince me and I laughed again.

"You would have" I smiled.

His arms were tightened around me and he smiled.

"I can't even believe I could survive it so far" he smiled and I kissed his lips.

"I was about to cross this line soon anyway" I smiled "I've missed being around you" I added.

"See the moving in together part makes sense now, doesn't it?" he wondered and I smiled.

"Yes it does" I agreed and closed my eyes.

I woke up and Nathan was gone. I wondered if he wanted to continue the fight and walked outside just to find that the boundaries were away and Nathan was putting some of my stuff into the shelves.

"What are you doing?" I asked and he laughed.

"Well I thought I should unpack some of your stuff" he smiled and looked into a box.

"Plus I wanted to put something here" he mumbled and took a frame out. It was the first cover of B. Davis magazine.

"You have this?" I wondered and he nodded.

"I subscribed" he admitted and I walked over to see a box full of magazines.

"Wow" I said in a surprise and put my arms around his neck.

"I was proud of you Brooke" he said and looked up at me "even if we were apart and I wasn't part of this world that you were in, I was proud of the girl that I always knew was destined for greatness" he said and I put my head on his shoulder.

"Thank you" I smiled and he put his head against mine.

"I loved you all this time Brooke Davis" he smiled and I kissed his cheek.

"I've missed you, so much" I breathed out and he smiled.

"It's good that we are living together now than, maybe we should leave a message on the machine, so people know you live here too now" he whispered and I nodded.

"I guess this was one of the better Scott ideas" I smirked.

"I always have great ideas" Nathan complained and I laughed.

"I beg you pardon, do I have to remind you of the accident with Owen's parents?" I asked and he pulled away from me.

"I thought we agreed to never talk about this ever again" he warned me and I laughed.

"When?" I asked.

"It was a silent agreement" Nathan complained and I laughed.

"That's why you missed that I didn't agree" I laughed and he grabbed me.

"Are you sure?" he asked and put me down on the floor.

"Aha" I said while he pressed my hands down.

"You really think that?" he asked and I laughed.

"Yes" I said and his head was inches away from mine, lips almost touching mine.

"You should think again" he breathed out and I smiled as I kissed him.

"That's cheating" he complained and I grinned.

"I know and this is great" I whispered.

"You make fun of me all the time" he complained and I kissed him again.

"Oh whatever" he laughed and kissed me.

"The message" I mumbled and Nathan pressed a button.

"You reached Nathan Scott" he smiled at me.

"And Brooke Davis" I added in a laugh.

"We can't pick up right now" he continued "because…"

He paused for a while.

"We are having sex?" I suggested and he laughed while kissing me.

"Head blowing" he laughed against my skin "sex" he corrected.

"We call you back if we find time" I laughed and he kissed me as I pushed a button.

"Message changed" the machine said and I laughed.

The phone rang and Nathan looked away from me at the phone.

"Let the machine get it" he smirked and I nodded.

We heard the text we just spoke on it and laughed.

"Hey Nathan, here is Carrie, you know your ex-girlfriend" a familiar voice said and I stopped laughing and sat up.

"I just called you to tell you" she hesitated "that I am probably pregnant" she whispered and I stopped in shock.

Nathan walked over and ran his hand through his hair before picking up.

"Hey Carrie" Nathan said and I couldn't hear her voice anymore.

"How sure are you?" he wondered and I sat up watching him. His eyes were tense and the smile vanished from his face.

"You want me to come with you?" he wondered and I walked over to stand close to him.

"Sure, I guess I see you later than" he mumbled and put the phone back.

He needed some seconds before he could turn around and face me.

"She is late, like really late" he mumbled and I looked in shock at him. His eyes were worried and I didn't know what to say or do. I just put my hand on his arm and he faked a smile.

"I will go to the doctor with her" he said and I nodded.

There wasn't much that I could have done or said, so I just walked him to the couch and sat down beside him.

Nathan could be a father soon and I wondered if it would change anything. I took some breaths and put my hand in his. I needed to be there for him. No matter if this would be the end of our relationship or just another hurdle in our life that was somehow coming when we thought we are happy.

"I could be a dad" he mumbled and I nodded.

He was obviously in shock, so I couldn't ask him.


	37. Chapter 37

Nathan put his arm around me and kissed my head. I was unsure of what to say. My thoughts were running wild in my head until I could hold on to one thought. It hurt me that it even entered my mind, but I needed to say it aloud.

"I get it if you need to break up with me" I muttered to him and he was stiff for a moment. I was unable to move as well and the silence was killing me. Nathan seemed to think about what I just said and I wondered if he was considering his options.

"What?" he asked and I looked up at him. It seemed like he was thinking about my words rather than his answer.

"I mean I think that this is one of the possibilities, I mean I want you to have options" I murmured. He needed to know what I was trying to tell him, because I obviously I was failing this. I looked down on the couch and he shook his head.

"If Carrie is pregnant…" he stopped for a moment as if to catch himself again "I'll be there for the child I guess, but I'm not able to give you up Brooke" he whispered and I leaned against his arm in relieve. It was really hard on him. Since the call he had to put himself together.

"Did you really think I would give you up, because of a mistake, which I made?" he asked and I thought about this for a moment. I knew that he loved me and I loved him so much, but I never thought about the world outside and the relationships we ended. Just because we moved on and left them behind, didn't mean that they couldn't surprise us. Or that we knew how serious they really were.

"You didn't plan this?" I asked and he again faced me.

"I'm not ready for this kind of commitment Brooke, I didn't plan to be a father this early, and I'm in my early twenties" he said and I nodded in agreement. I hoped that he wasn't seriously dating Carrie and building up a future, still I wasn't sure if he planned it or not, I just hoped he didn't, otherwise I would have split up a family to be, and this wasn't me. I looked back in his dark blue eyes and saw honesty and panic in them. I put my hand on his chest and smiled.

"I mean I have this great life now, or at least I can see a great life in the future" Nathan mumbled "I have a beautiful, caring and fun girlfriend and I have an awesome job. I want this to stay that way. A baby would ruin all of this" he stopped for a moment.

"You don't want her to be pregnant?" I wondered and he slowly nodded.

"And I feel awful for that" he added.

I looked in his tortured eyes and took his hand in mine. He really was suffering and I had no idea of how to make it all go away. I just saw how much he was hurt with this, his heart told him that it was wrong to hope she wasn't pregnant but his head told him that he wasn't ready for this.

"I will do anything to help you" I murmured and he smiled at me.

"Thank you" he whispered and I leaned against him. His arms were tight around me and he once again kissed my hair.

"When do you meet her at the doctor?" I wondered and Nathan looked at the clock. He was starring at the clock for a while like in trance.

"In an hour" he noticed and I moved away from him.

"You should get ready then" I smirked and he kissed my forehead.

"Are you okay with staying here by yourself?" he wondered and I nodded.

Even if he had a lot on his mind he wanted to make sure how I would feel, actually he wanted me to be more than okay and of course I was. I wanted him to be sure that he didn't need to worry about me. The panic in his eyes and the way he was tense since he heard the news were enough to show me he needed to know that I had his back.

"You should keep unpacking so you feel at home here" Nathan smiled and leaned towards me.

"Because you are not going anywhere" he smiled and kissed me. I smiled at him but doubts were still on my mind, I just tried to overplay them.

I was unpacked and sat on the couch again by myself. I was playing with a strain of my hair and nervously looked at the clock. Two hours passed and I didn't know anything yet. Okay they probably had to wait and make the test, but the results needed at least a day. This meant I would be a nutcase for at least another 24 hours. I felt lost. Maybe I needed some distraction, so I turned on the TV. The first thing I saw was a commercial for dippers. I couldn't stop myself from seeing pictures of Nathan, Carrie and their little baby. How they would fix up the room for the baby and how they would smile at each other. I saw Nathan holding the baby and proudly kiss Carrie. I shook these thoughts away, he said he would stay with me, but I wasn't sure about his after my little daydream. I picked up the phone.

"You want to hang?" I asked as the other person picked up the phone. I waited passionately until it finally rang on the door. I walked over just to find Rachel and Owen in front of the door.

"Sorry it's not a warming party" I excused myself as I saw a plant in Rachel's hands.

"Well who cares" she smiled and gave it to me. I was glad to see familiar faces.

"Was his idea anyway" she complained and Owen who was still at the door laughed.

"We also brought movies" he showed me a bag and I smiled "she said you sounded worried"

I let him in and we both followed Rachel into the living room.

"Was the moving in together so hard?" Rachel wondered and looked around.

"No" I whispered and she saw some pictures that I put around the house. She took a picture of the four of us in front of the billiard café and smirked.

"Is it yours or Nate's?" she wondered.

"Mine" I answered and she nodded.

"So moving in together isn't why you called" she figured out.

"And where is Nate anyway?" Owen wanted to know "did you kick him out already"

"He is out" I just said, I wasn't sure how much our friends were allowed to know.

"See I told you something is wrong" Rachel muttered and Owen nodded.

"No" I smiled and walked to the phone.

"He will be back soon anyway and I wasn't in the mood to cook, so how about pizza?" I asked and they agreed, though Rachel watched me carefully.

We were almost done with the movie as I noticed Rachel and Owen exchange looks over my head. They let me sit in the middle and watched every move I made. I felt like I was a monkey in the zoo. Maybe calling them wasn't such a great idea.

"I'm okay" I said and they both rolled their eyes.

"Okay, listen you two" I looked at each of them "I just wanted to hang with my friends while my boyfriend" I stopped there "yes he is still my boyfriend" I calmed them down "is out"

"Where is he?" Owen asked and the door was opened. I got up and looked at Nathan. He was in a bad shape and I started to worry, so I got over to him.

"Hey" I greeted him and he put his arms around me.

"I've missed you" he mumbled and I smiled.

My madness passed and I was glad that he was back. Nathan looked up and noticed our guests. He put his poker face on and smiled.

"What have you been doing?" he wondered and I turned around to face them.

"A movie" I smirked and Owen looked a bit ashamed for accusing me of feeling sad. Rachel on the other hand was still not sure that everything was right and gave me a skeptical look.

"Yes, we were" she mumbled and Nathan squeezed me.

"That's good, sorry I was gone so long" he apologized.

"It is okay" I smiled softly and it was killing me not to know what had happened. Why did I invite Owen and Rachel over anyway? This made it harder to just ask Nathan. I needed some excuse to talk to him privately.

"You want something to eat?" I asked and he nodded as he followed me to the kitchen.

"You didn't tell them?" he wondered and I shook my head.

"I didn't know if I should have, or…" he stopped me right there.

"You could have" he mumbled and I looked up at him.

"I didn't" I whispered and he put his arms around me again. It was a hard thing to get over with, he could be a father of someone else's baby and… I shook the thoughts away again.

"How did it go?" I wondered if I asked this in my normal voice or not.

"She was mad at me and couldn't stop screaming that she was some rebound chick and now she might have our baby and that this was totally my fault" he explained and could hardly breathe.

"I'm sorry" I whispered.

"She used some nice words to describe my behavior and after she was done we could finally walk into the practice"

I just watched him without interrupting and waited to hear more.

"Well, she made the test and we will get the results tomorrow" he mumbled.

This was what I had expected and I took his hand in mine.

"So we will know tomorrow!" I tried to be comforting.

"She wanted to pick some of her boxes tomorrow and tell me the result" he told me and I looked up again.

"You want me to leave you two alone?" I asked and he tightened his grip.

"No" he muttered "I have wanted you to be there all this time" he smiled and I was relieved he felt like that.

"Okay, so pizza?" I asked and Nathan laughed.

"Okay" he whispered and pulled my face towards his and kissed me.

"Sorry Carrie was mad at you" I said and he pulled me closer.

"I am sorry I hurt her, but I know what I've done it for" he kissed me "and I am happy that I have you now in my life" he smiled.

I smirked and pulled away. Somehow it felt wrong to hear him say that, it just reminded me to much of my daydream-

"Me too, but if we won't move our ass out to the living room they might get suspicious" I reminded him.

Nathan nodded, got a plate and put two pieces of pizza on it.

We walked out and Rachel laughed.

"Alright he was away like for three hours and you already missed him?" she asked "how cheesy is that?"

"Just cheesy enough" Nathan laughed and sat down. I was in his arm and saw Rachel do the same with Owen. We watched another movie and Rachel laughed at them.

"See that's romantic" she said.

"He almost killed her" Owen complained.

"But he saved her in the end" she stated and I laughed.

"So we have to almost kill you to be romantic?" Nathan wondered and I laughed.

"Only her" I added and got my arm elbowed.

"I thought we are on the same side" Rachel complained.

"Well" I giggled and she rolled her eyes.

I tried to concentrate on the evening but my thoughts were running back and forth to the baby, or baby to be, the family that Carrie and my boyfriend could have had if it wasn't for me. Nathan was relaxed beside me and I wondered how he could be so calm. As I looked at him I could see that he as well was preoccupied with some thoughts and I wondered what he was thinking about. Maybe he was seeing the same pictures I saw…

"Earth on Brooke" Owen laughed and I turned to face him.

"What?" I asked and he laughed.

"We just talked to you and noticed that you were away with your thoughts" Rachel smirked.

"Oh, what were you saying?" I asked sorry.

"If you are up to celebrating that the two of you moved in together this Saturday?"Owen asked again and I felt Nathan's arms tight around me.

"Sure" he mumbled.

It was in three days and I guess whatever would come up tomorrow could be solved in two days, at least it seemed like he thought like that.

"Alright" I smirked.

I looked into my boyfriend's eyes and saw my fear to lose him reflecting in them.

I was lying awake in his arms and he breathed evenly, so I was sure he was sleeping.

"Why are you worried?" he asked and I looked up in shock. How could I not notice he was awake?

"I thought you were sleeping" I said and he tightened his grip around me.

"I can't" he whispered and I agreed.

Tonight was different from other nights; this one was making me feel dizzy

"It's an important day tomorrow" I mumbled and he smirked.

"Yes" he just said and we were silent again.

"If you are going to be a father, how… I mean what will we do?" I asked and he turned to me.

"What do you mean?" he wondered and I thought about how I could ask him.

"I mean, maybe now you will stay with me, but if Carrie is pregnant you would go through the pregnancy with her and you will be close again, so who knows what might happen…"I trailed off.

"You are really thinking that I would leave you for her?" Nathan sat up and his arm was losing the grip.

"Maybe" I said unsure and he shook his head in disbelieve.

"I know now you think that you wouldn't" I explained "but…just so you know…I would let you go, if this is what you want"

"When will you stop doing this?" Nathan asked angry and I wondered how this could become a fight.

"Stop what?" I asked confused.

"Doubting me Brooke, doubting US" he said and got up.

"I am not" I tried to defend myself and he just was standing there.

"You are giving up on us right here" he just said and I couldn't believe it.

"I just said that if you wanted to have a real family with her" I sat up.

"I don't, I'm not even ready for a family with you and I love you" Nathan yelled at me "why can't you get this?"

"Because you never know what you want" I whispered in despite and Nathan looked hurt. I didn't mean to hurt him it just…slipped.

"I know I want you" he mumbled and I rolled my eyes.

"You might want something else as soon as you see yours and Carrie's baby or hold it in your arms" I said desperately and Nathan was breathing heavily. I just had flash backs of my day dream and couldn't stop my mouth from talking.

"I can't say anything to make you believe me anyway" Nathan said and walked out.

"I sleep on the couch" he stated as he closed the door.

I put the blanket around me and wondered why I had to start this fight.

I just was sad and angry at Carrie and at Nathan and I couldn't exactly tell why. Tears were running down my face and I couldn't have stopped them. I wondered if this was how it was supposed to be, if it really was hard to be in a relationship, after you broke someone else's.


	38. Chapter 38

Hey guys, sorry somehow I couldn't upload any files in the past 2 days, but now I managed to find a way to let you see the chapter anyway, hope you enjoy!

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I got up and walked slowly towards the living room.

"Hey" I muttered as I saw Nathan getting up from the couch.

"Hey" he whispered tired.

I was standing there and looked at his messed up hair and his sad face expression and I felt sorry for making him suffer more than he obviously already did. I should have been there for him instead of screaming at him.

"Can we pretend I didn't freak out, or doubt anything?" I asked while biting my lip.

Nathan sat down on the couch and thought for a moment. My hands nervously played with his jersey that I used to wear to sleep.

What if I did ruin it all? What if he thought about my suggestion and figured out, that I was right? Or that he really wanted a family with Carrie.

"Only…" he started and my heart stopped for a moment. I was afraid to know what would come next.

"If we pretend I didn't overreact" he mumbled and I was relieved. I walked over to him and put my hands on his shoulders and started massaging them.

"God, this feels awesome" he moaned and I smiled.

"It's a sorry message" I whispered and he pushed his head back to look up at me.

"That's awesome" he smirked.

"So when will Carrie come here?" I asked and Nathan put his hand on top of mine.

"Soon" he mumbled and kissed my arm. I laughed at the gesture and the dark haired boy pulled me down and kissed my lips.

"We shouldn't fight this often" he whispered against my lips.

"I think you are right" I whispered and he let go of me after a few little kisses.

"So do you want to have breakfast?" he asked and I shrugged.

"Do I need to cook it?" I asked and he laughed.

"No I thought about making it" Nathan smirked and I smiled.

"I guess this way- I am starving" I said loud and he got up to walk to the kitchen.

I followed him and sat down on the table.

"That's where we are supposed to eat" Nathan smirked and I put my arms around him and pulled him closer.

"Well…" I smiled "this way I can nibble"

I kissed his neck and he laughed.

"Okay" Nathan smiled "I think this will work for me"

"I thought so" I grinned.

I watched Nathan getting some eggs and flour and mixing them together.

"You know how to make pancakes?" I said surprised and he nodded.

"You know the ingredients of pancakes?" he raised his eyebrow at me.

"Well I am full of surprises" I smiled and he walked over to kiss me.

"I figured that one out already" he smirked and walked back to making pancakes.

"I didn't mean to make you feel, like I could give you up this easily" I whispered and Nathan looked back at me.

"I couldn't" I said "But it was easier to tell you to break up with me than actually waiting for you to maybe do so"

"Brooke" Nathan sighed and I smiled softly at him, though I felt like a wreck.

He walked over and put his arms tight around me.

"I could say I wouldn't leave you, but you tend to not believe me" he whispered and I laughed through my tears.

"Are you crying?" the handsome guy asked and I shook my head.

"No" I whispered.

He pulled away and saw my watery eyes and kissed them.

"Not crying?" he asked and I smiled.

"Sorry" I whispered and he stroked my hair "happy tears I think. I can't believe to have you back in my life and that things mostly are like now, sweet and adorable"

"I like sweet and adorable you" he smiled at me and I nodded.

"Right back at you"

I was feeling stupid because of our little fight.

"Pancakes?" Nathan asked after a while and I nodded. He walked over to the pan and I followed him. We were watching the pancakes and he had an arm around me.

The door bell rang as we ate our first bite and I felt nauseous.

"It must be Carrie" Nathan said and I held my hand and walked over to the bath room.

"Brooke are you okay?" he wondered and I closed the door behind me.

After I threw up, I washed my face and looked at the mirror, I looked like crap.

"You should open the door" I whispered and Nathan walked over and did so.

"Hey Carrie" he said and I heard female footsteps and walked out of the bath.

"I think the pancakes were bad" I just smiled before Nate could have asked anything.

"Hello Carrie" I whispered and she faked a smile.

"Hello" she just stated and looked up at Nathan.

"Can we talk alone?" she wanted to know.

"There is nothing you can't say in front of…" Nate started and I shook my head.

"I think I'm not feeling well anyway" I just said and he took my hand.

"Are you sure?" he asked.

I just nodded and walked over to the guest room.

I laid down on the bed and closed my eyes. My stomach ached and I tried to figure out what was wrong with me. Carrie and Nathan were talking but I only heard some mumbles.

"You lied?" I heard Nathan scream after a while and opened my eyes again.

"What did you expect Nathan, dumping me and living happily ever after?" she asked in rage and he seemed to need to take a break.

"You lied about being pregnant!" he said and I shrugged at his voice "it's unforgiving"

"I wouldn't have had if you had any respect for me!" she said loudly and Nathan was desperate now.

"I do respect you Carrie" he tried to calm her down.

"Yeah your mailbox is really sensible?" she said still angry but less aggressive.

_"You reached Nathan Scott" he smiled at me._

_"And Brooke Davis" I added in a laugh._

_"We can't pick up right now" he continued "because…"_

_He paused for a while._

_"We are having sex?" I suggested and he laughed while kissing me._

_"Head blowing" he laughed against my skin "sex" he corrected._

_"We call you back if we find time" I laughed and he kissed me as I pushed a button._

I remembered and felt sorry for her. I knew that even I would have been sad after listening to this message on Julian's phone and I was the one who broke him.

"Carrie, we were broken up and we…" Nathan tried to calm her down.

"You used me" she screamed at Nathan and he tried to defend himself.

"I never meant to hurt you"

"Right" she said and Nathan was unsure of what there was left to say.

"But threatening me with a pregnancy this was too much Carrie" he just mumbled.

"We had sex even after she came back to town and it could easily have had happened" she said and he breathed out loudly.

I knew this much already but it still somehow hurt. We were in love as we dated others.

"It didn't though" he told her "and this was a really dumb idea of you Carrie"

"Did I ruin your private time?" she wondered and he opened the door.

"I think it's better if you leave now" he suggested and she seemed not to move an inch.

"No" she just whispered and Nathan's patience was getting smaller by the minute.

"You almost broke up my relationship" he mumbled and she laughed.

"Like you broke my heart?" she asked and he was silent.

I walked out and leaned against the wall. I was still feeling dizzy. I guess I just was nervous.

"I am sorry Carrie" I whispered and she looked at me in rage. I just wanted to ease her pain, even if it wasn't what she wanted from me.

"Shut up" she ordered and Nathan grabbed her arm.

"I don't care if you talk to me like that, but she doesn't deserve this" he said and Carrie laughed.

"Whatever" she said and grabbed the box with her stuff.

"I hope she cheats on you, or you on her again, because that what you both are" she said before she walked for the door "cheating bastards"

"Goodbye Carrie" Nathan told her and closed the door.

My stomach ached and I looked at Nathan holding my mouth again.

"I…" I ran off for the bathroom.

As I walked out Nathan threw away the rest of the pancakes.

"How are you?" he wondered and I smiled.

"Better, though" I stopped "please never make pancakes again"

"I promise" he smiled.

"How do you feel?" I wondered and Nathan looked back at me.

"Angry" he smirked and added "and happy, somehow relieved"

I gave him time to process what he just found out and he walked over to kiss me.

"I feel free again, like nothing can keep me down anymore" he smiled against my lips.

"Like nothing can stop us anymore" he added and I kissed his lips again.

"We should celebrate" I whispered and Nathan looked worried.

"You sure you are up to this?" he wondered and I nodded.

We were out with Rachel and Owen. Nathan told them the story and they couldn't believe this.

"I thought she was a decent girl" Owen said and shook his head.

"God you guys must have been shocked" Rachel said and I nodded.

"We had some fights" I whispered and Nathan pulled me closer.

"But nothing can keep us down" he said and kissed my head.

"You are just to die for" Rachel rolled her eyes, but I saw a smile on her face.

She and Owen went dancing and I took Nathan's hand as a slow track was played.

"Will you dance with me, please?" I mumbled and Nathan grinned brightly.

"How can I say no?" he grinned and followed me to the dance floor.

His hands were on my hips and we were slowly moving to the rhythm. I put my head on his shoulder and it seemed like all my sorrows were away. I just still couldn't figure out why my stomach was aching or why I felt nauseous all the time. Nathan suggested that I shouldn't mix my pills with alcohol and I was glad I listened.

"I probably would be drunk by now" I laughed.

"Still feeling ill?" Nathan asked and I nodded.

"Do you want to head home?" he wondered and I shook my head.

"I like to dance with you, somehow it feels like the moment when I knew I wanted to be with you" I whispered.

"What moment?" he asked and I grinned.

"The moment we danced at Rachel's and Owen's wedding" I told him and he pulled me closer.

"I knew this changed a lot" he smiled.

"Owen and Rachel are really good at match making" I laughed.

"They had to repay us, for bringing them together" Nathan kissed my cheek.

"I guess" I breathed out and thought about what he said before.

"How did you know?" I wondered and Nathan smirked.

"It was the first time you didn't feel distant at all" he smiled and I nodded.

"I have been thinking about you after I first saw you in Tree Hill" I admitted and he kissed my lips.

"I'm so glad that you chose me" he mumbled against my lips and I smiled back.

"But we hurt people" I told him and his eyes became sad.

"I know, and I am sorry for that, but…" he stopped for a moment because the song ended.

"But?" I wondered.

"I wouldn't change a thing" he said and pulled me closer.

"Are you ready to head back home yet?" he asked and I nodded.

"Okay, let's just say goodbye to Rachel and Owen" I smiled through the pain I felt. My stomach was hurting me so much and I just held it with one hand.

"I guess you should go back to bed" Rachel ordered and I smiled.

"But we had to celebrate that Carrie wasn't pregnant" I said and it hit me.

I was nauseous and I was sleepy all the time, I got upset over nothing and the throwing up part…

Maybe? No, it was just a food poisoning, I told myself and smiled at Rachel.

"Maybe you are right" I smirked and Nathan pulled me closer.

"Let's get you in bed" he raised his eyebrows and I smiled.

Food poisoning, I convinced myself and smiled at my friends.


	39. Chapter 39

Thanks for reading! And waiting for my uploads, you guys are the best!

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I was lying in bed next to Nathan and was cuddled in his arms, but my thoughts always trailed away. I counted the days and no matter how often I recounted them, it was obvious. I was late.

"Brooke, are you listening?" Nathan's voice brought me back from my thoughts.

"What?" I just asked and he stroke up and down my arm.

"I just said maybe we should go together to New York, I have an appointment there next Monday, maybe we could spend the weekend there?" he asked and I smiled.

"Sure" I whispered, but in my head I thought about how soon Monday would be and if I would know by them if I was… No! The food poisoning was a much better solution, maybe I was just in stress…

"Sure doesn't sound like you are really into it" Nathan pouted and I turned around to kiss him.

"No, I would really love to" I smirked and kissed his lips.

"We should after all celebrate my freedom, as a childless basketball player!" Nathan grinned against my lips and I tried to keep my smile and just nodded.

Sure, this would be the other problem if I was pregnant, the father didn't want the child anyway. Flashbacks kept coming to me.

_"I'm not ready for this kind of commitment Brooke, I didn't plan to be a father this early, and I'm in my early twenties"_ his voice still rang in my ears.

"Brooke?" Nathan asked again and I smiled at him, trying hard to hide the tears, which were building up in my eyes.

"Sounds nice" I smirked and Nathan started to kiss my neck.

"I think so too" he whispered between kisses.

_"I don't, I'm not even ready for a family with you and I love you"_ I remembered him almost scream at me and shrugged.

"Not now" I whispered and softly pushed him away.

"What's wrong?" Nathan wondered and I didn't really have anything to reply to that. His blue eyes were hurt and focused on mine.

"I…"I started but needed a second to come up with something "don't feel good"

"Still your stomach?" Nathan wondered and put his hand on my belly. I felt his warmth and smiled.

I could see how he would put his hand on my round belly when I was pregnant and how he would talk to the baby… I shook the thoughts away. He wasn't ready for a baby or a family.

"Yeah" I whispered and turned away from him "I guess I should get some sleep, maybe that will help" I lied.

Nathan rolled closer to me and pulled me into a hug.

"Alright, goodnight" he whispered and kissed my cheek, while his hands found my stomach again. It felt so write and again so wrong to have him close to me. I closed my eyes and counted the days once again. No, I didn't make a mistake and this was one occasion, where I rather would be wrong. I was still nervous and couldn't sleep. I started to play with my blankets and Nathan's breath was on my skin.

"Brooke, what's wrong?" he breathed out and shrugged again.

"Still feeling sick" I whispered and heard my own shaky voice. I tried to find any excuse to explain this, but Nathan was faster. He got up and walked to my side of the bed and kneed down.

"I'll bring you a glass of water" he smiled and kissed my forehead.

"Thanks" I tried to smile and he was caressing my hair.

"Try to sleep" he mumbled and I nodded.

I closed my eyes and after a while I finally could fall asleep.

In the morning I woke up and Nathan was already gone, on his side of the bed I saw a post-it.

"I'm working out with Lucas and Owen, be back soon, call me if you miss me" I read and smiled. I had an awesome boyfriend I told myself and remembered why I was sad again and nervously picked up the phone.

"Hello, Dr. Cuddy, yes, I need a check-up" I said to the female voice on the other line and nervously played with the blanket again.

"It's pretty much an emergency" I explained and she found an appointment for today. Her voice was really calming and still I was just seconds from exploding.

"Thank you" I whispered and hung up.

I walked over to the fridge and poured some juice in my glass. I wasn't ready to eat yet, somehow I was still hopeful.

I had an hour to get ready. I picked up the phone again and dialed a number.

"Hey" I whispered and the other voice was worried.

"Could you come with me to the doctor?" I asked and of course the female voice couldn't decline me this wish. She was on her way as soon as I hung up.

I got dressed and decided to also call Nathan, to make sure he wouldn't be here in three hours.

"Hey" his voice greeted me and I could hear the boys make different noises, somewhere in the back Owen greeted me. I smiled and noticed that I again played with my hair.

"Hey, just wanted to tell you I miss you" I said as I remembered his note.

"I miss you too" he laughed because the guys yelled.

"Do you feel better?" he wondered and I needed as second to think about it. Actually today I was feeling much better.

"Yeah, I guess your cooking skills aren't as good as you thought" I joked but my hand was on my stomach. Again I was hoping that my first suspicion was right and I smiled.

"When will you be back?" I wondered and Nathan asked the others.

"Let's say two or three more hours" he laughed and Owen yelled.

"Okay, say hi to the guys" I said and Nathan agreed.

"I love you" he whispered and I smiled to myself.

"I love you too" I murmured and it knocked on the door.

"See you soon" I said and hung up.

I opened the door and looked in her worried eyes.

"Brooke, what's going on?" I heard Haley say and tried to smile. I knew I could tell her anything. Actually I could also have told Peyton or Rachel, but Peyton had her own problems while being pregnant and with Rachel I was too scared that Nathan would find out anyway. Somehow I needed to be sure about my condition before I could tell him.

"I'm just feeling sick and I didn't want to worry Nathan, you know how he can be" I tried to smile, but her worried look made me guilty.

"I think it's a food poisoning" I had to swallow hard after I said this.

"You think you might be pregnant?" Haley asked after a while. I pressed my lips together and nodded.

Haley put her arms around me and tried to calm me down.

"How you feel?" she wondered and I sobbed.

"Considering we were celebrating the freedom of my boyfriend yesterday, because he found out his ex wasn't pregnant?" I tried to joke but her grip tightened around me.

"Yes considering this" she mumbled.

"Let's just say: Like you would expect me to feel" I whispered and she laughed against my shoulder.

"I still hope it is food poisoning" I mumbled and she took my hand.

"I'll drive" she consisted and I nodded.

In the car we talked about all the things that could lead to my behavior other than pregnancy and I started to feel calm as we entered the clinic.

"Hello" an older lady greeted me at the counter and I just told her what was going on. I was send to the waiting room and Haley followed me.

I was just going through the magazines, but not really reading them.

"Brooke you even managed to make me nervous" Haley said and stopped for a moment.

"I go crazy in here" I said and she took my hand.

"It's going to be okay" she whispered as my name was called and she squeezed it once more, before she let me go.

After the test I was back in the waiting room.

"And?" she wondered, but I only took her hand and led her to the car.

"It's not the food" I bit my lip and Haley looked at me, figuring out what I was thinking.

"I don't know" I murmured "I guess I am scared"

"I know" she whispered and put her arm around me.

We were silent all the way back home, only the radio was on, as Haley stopped in the highway Nathan was shooting some baskets in the garden.

"I didn't tell him, I was making a check-up" I warned her and she nodded.

"A girls day, got it" she mumbled and we walked out the car. Nathan smiled as he saw me and pulled me into a hug.

"You're sweaty" I complained and he kissed the complains away.

"Well you're tasty" he teased and I laughed.

"Bad come back, Scott" I grinned.

"You should see me" he smirked and Haley coughed uncomfortable and I turned to face her again.

"Hey" Nathan greeted her "what were you girls up to anyway?" he wondered and Haley was faster than me.

"Girls talk" Haley smiled "Chris wants to go on tour soon, so I thought I should take advantage of your absence"

"Oh" Nathan nodded and I looked surprised. Haley forgot to mention, that she was leaving for a tour and now I felt selfish, because I haven't known.

"Yeah, she is always glued to you" Haley joked and Nathan put his arms around me again.

"Can't see what you mean" he laughed and I put my hand on his.

Maybe this would be the same, when I was pregnant. He would put his hands on my round belly and the baby would kick. I wondered if it would be a girl or a boy. I needed to stop this and I need to do so quickly, but I couldn't. Thousands of pictures were in my head and I couldn't stop them from coming. Another 24 hours and I would know whether or not I was knocked up. I wondered how I would tell him and I couldn't find any picture for that. So all I had to do was to pray I wasn't…pregnant.

"Brooke?" Nathan asked and kissed my ear.

"What?" I woke up from my daydream.

"Haley was leaving" he reminded me and I looked at my friend.

I put Nathan's arms away and walked over to her.

"Thank you" I whispered in her ear and she smiled at me.

"Do you want me to go with you tomorrow?" she asked and I shook my head.

"They wanted to tell me as soon as they know the answer" I still mumbled and Haley agreed.

"I call you" I said before she could even open her mouth.

"Bye Nathan" she said as she let me go and Nathan smiled at her. Haley left and I watched Nathan play ball for another half an hour. I normally would have pointed out his mistakes and cheer for him, but today I just sat on the bench and checked my phone every now and then.

"You want to order food?" Nathan asked as he was done and I shrugged.

"Don't know, I guess I am not hungry yet" I just noticed and he smiled as he ran over and lifted me up.

"You sure?" he asked and I laughed as he kissed my neck.

"Because I am starving" he mumbled and I laughed harder as his breath tickled me. I wanted so badly to forget why my head was counting days or the way he didn't wanted to have a baby and his phrases that were still ringing in my ears. I tried hard, but always failed. Somehow my mind ended up summarizing all the details, and it really didn't look good if I was pregnant there was so much to do, so many words to find.

Nathan already carried me in the living room and I laughed.

"You know that lifting weights is something completely different?" I teased and he put me down on the couch.

"And you tell me this now?" he laughed and kissed my lips.

"Chinese or Pizza?" he asked and I knew I needed to eat something so I picked pizza.

Nathan dialed and walked to the kitchen to talk to the delivery service.

I watched my phone and wanted it so badly to ring, to at least be sure, what was about to happen in my life, but it didn't even rang once.

Just as Nathan walked out and sat down beside me my phone started it's melody. Nathan looked at me.

"Are you waiting for a call?" he wondered and I shook my head before I picked up.

My heart was hammering in my chest as I heard Dr. Cuddy's voice.

"The test results are here" she just said and it felt like my heart stopped.


	40. Chapter 40

Hey guys, thanks for the awesome reviews! and sorry for keep you waiting like that.

* * *

I looked shocked as I heard her voice.

"Could you hold on for a second?" I asked and smiled softly at Nathan. I needed an excuse to get away from him. I couldn't be next to him, when I found out whether or not I was pregnant. Seconds passed but felt like hours and I finally come up with a good excuse.

"It's work" I smiled and showed him that I was going to the study.

He nodded and I walked away.

As I closed the door and put the phone back to my ear my heart was racing.

"Sorry I needed…" I held my breath "sorry" I just apologized and heard Dr. Cuddy smirk in the phone.

"A lot of people want some seconds before finding out" she explained and I breathed out.

Yes I needed some seconds or actually hours to get used to this feeling right now. It was hard to know that Dr. Cuddy had an information in her hands that was a breaker or safer of my relationship with Nathan.

"So, we know your results…" she started and I couldn't breathe anymore. My stomach ached and I sat down.

"Yes" I just unsurely asked and she smiled.

"Miss Davis, I want to congratulate you…" she started and I didn't need her to continue to know her next words would be "you're pregnant".

I put my head into my arms and tears were running down my face, though I tried to swallow the sobs.

"Aren't you happy?" she asked and I needed a second to get my voice back to normal.

"Of course" I breathed out and the doctor rambled on about next checkups and how I needed to eat healthy even if I had cravings, but my mind trailed away. I was pregnant and I needed to tell Nathan, didn't I?

How would I do this anyway? Who cared if I was eating unhealthy food, if I didn't even managed to tell my boyfriend in what condition I was?

"Okay, so I see you next Monday then" Dr. Cuddy said and I just agreed without thinking about it. I sat there and heard the sound the phone made… Toot… Toot…

I needed to get out of this room soon and face Nathan and I wasn't ready.

I tried to dry the tears in my eyes, but they just kept coming. He didn't want to be a father yet and I wasn't sure if I could tell him. Maybe he wouldn't take it this hard.

I stayed in this room for what seemed like forever until it rang on the door and the pizza was delivered. Nathan softly knocked on the door and opened it.

"Food is here, as soon as you are ready" he whispered and I swallowed hard while I held the phone to my ear.

"Thank you" I just mumbled and added a "goodbye" before I hung up.

"I'll be right there" I promised and Nathan walked out.

Some seconds later I fixed my make up in the bathroom and joined him on the couch.

"Who was it?" he asked. There was the moment, the moment where I would tell him and he would freak where we would fight and where he would probably leave… So here I went and did the only possible thing in this situation, I lied.

"Textile agency" I smiled "they wanted to make sure the order we made was the right one".

My stomach ached and I wondered if the baby would actually cause this. The guilt was steaming all over me. I wondered how tiny the baby in my stomach was. Sure enough Dr. Cuddy mentioned how far along I was and I regretted not to have listened better to her now. I couldn't have lied again and call her back, so I sat there and took a slice of pizza. I was sitting there in Nathan's arms as we watched some movie, but I wasn't aware of what it was until I heard him joke.

"See could have easily been me, but gladly it's not" he said and kissed my forehead. I glimpsed back at the TV and saw Knocked up. How ironic was this? This was totally him and the girl with the enormous stomach, well this would be me, soon… I couldn't believe I wasn't able to share this information with him and as I saw his glowing face I felt sick inside. He was really happy to be rid of the responsibility when he wasn't.

"I should get to sleep" I just said and got up "you can still finish the movie"

"No, I rather spend time with you" he smiled and turned off the TV. Right, so much to avoiding him. Moving together, what a great plan! I walked into the bathroom and washed my face. I noticed that my hands were still shaking as I tried to brush my teeth and I didn't know whether it was shock or anger. The phone rang and Nathan was standing in the bathroom door.

"Brooke, it was Lucas, Peyton is in the hospital" he mumbled and I let my brush fall down.

"She had some complications through the pregnancy" he mumbled and I looked more worried.

"We need to go there" I insisted and he nodded.

The drive was pretty fast and refreshing. I just wished Nathan wouldn't have drove this fast, because I feared to vomit again.

"We're here" I said as we finally reached Lucas "How is she?"

"Unconscious" he mumbled and he seemed like he was wearing the hell I went through on the outside.

"Sorry man" Nathan said and hugged his brother.

"You need anything?" my boyfriend asked and Lucas told him what to get.

"Do you mind if I stay with him?" I wondered and Nathan shook his head.

Lucas and I were sitting there alone in silence.

"She always knew this would happen, but still she wanted this baby" Lucas broke the silence and I looked up at him in shock.

"Why didn't she tell anyone?" I wondered and he smiled.

"You know Peyton, she didn't want anyone to be troubled" he pressed out and I put my arm around him.

"She'll be okay, Luke" I said. I really hoped this; I wasn't ready to lose my friend. We were sitting there and talking about how angry she probably would be if she knew he woke me up and that I wouldn't leave the hospital until she woke up. Nathan came back with coffee and soup for Lucas. I smelled the cheap chicken soup and felt nauseous.

"I'll be right back" I said and tried to chock down the feeling in my stomach.

"Alright" Nathan just said and explained Lucas that I poisoned myself with his cooking skills. As I stood up from the cold floor and wiped my mouth I picked up the phone and looked at Dr. Cuddy's number.

"Hello" her voice greeted me.

"Hello, it's Brooke Davis again, I just wondered how far I am, because I feel nauseous all the time" I explained and waited for her to open some files.

"Third week actually" she smiled and I put my hand on my stomach.

"Is it normal that I feel like this?" I wondered and she calmed me down by telling me how different all pregnancies are and how I shouldn't worry about it. I put the phone away and checked if Lucas was done with the soup, before I rejoined the group.

"Sorry, his cooking sucks" I joked and Nathan put his arm around me.

"Sorry again" he whispered and I wondered if he would have been sorry as well if he knew that I was pregnant. If he would have wished to take this moment back and change it? Now that I knew how far I was I knew exactly when this happened. It was the week I spend with him in New York.

"It's okay" I whispered and rolled my eyes.

I held tight to my stomach and Lucas offered me a seat next to him. Nathan's phone rang and he walked away.

"Does he know?" Lucas asked and I was confused.

"Know what?" I smiled and he just gave me a look.

"Brooke, I live with a pregnant woman, I think I know all the symptoms" he just said and my masquerade fell down.

I hit my head back and looked up to the ceiling.

"No" I whispered and he nodded.

"Does explain the chicken soup" he said and pulled and arm around me.

"I should be the one calming you down" I said in a shaky voice and he tightened his grip.

"You need me now too" he mumbled into my ear and I started crying. I was holding the tears for so long now and Lucas took my hand.

"You need to tell him though" he said and I shook my head.

"You've heard him, he isn't ready for kids" I tried to explain, but Lucas shook his head.

"You need to find out what you want first" he muttered in his calm voice and it hit me for the first time. I never even considered how I was feeling about this. What I have to say about the pregnancy and how I really felt about this baby. All this time I was concerned about Nathan and his attitude towards all this that I didn't even take a second to think about me.

"I guess…"I whispered and Lucas soft smile was comforting.

"I want kids" I said and he nodded like he knew it all along "but I would have been happy if this was planned or at least he would be happy about this" I added.

This was true. I didn't know yet if I was happy or not, because the circumstances weren't perfect, or not how I would have imagined them.

"Talk to him" Lucas encouraged me and I shook my head.

"I can yet" I mumbled and he offered me a handkerchief.

"Thanks" I smiled.

"So actually I will be uncle, right?" he asked and I gave him a look.

"What is this supposed to mean?" I asked and Lucas laughed uncomfortable.

"It's not Julian's is it?" he asked and I was about to tell him to go to hell, as Nathan's voice ringed behind me.

"Julian's what?" he wondered and I turned around to face his hurt and confused eyes.

"Sorry" Lucas whispered and I got up.

"Brooke, what is going on?" Nathan asked and I stood there unable to speak.

"Are you pregnant with his baby?" he asked and I could feel how he died inside. I wanted to scream no and to yell at him for accusing me of this, but my mouth was shut and I couldn't move it.

"Great" he said and angry stormed away.

"Nathan" I screamed after him and Lucas nodded towards him, so I just walked after him.

"Wait" I yelled and he just picked up his pace.

"Nathan!" I tried to catch him but he stopped outside the hospital and I walked out slowly.

His jaw was tight and his hands were shaking as I walked closer. I was looking at the floor.

"I wanted to tell you" I mumbled and he looked down on me. It felt like his stare was gluing me to the floor and I was unable to move.

"But you thought to spare my feelings?" he wondered.

"It's not his" I just whispered and hoped that this would calm him down, but his hands tightened a bit more.

"How often did you cheat on him then?" Nathan pressed out "I think I wasn't the only one, so who did knock you up?"

I shook my head in disbelieve and breathed out. I couldn't believe he accused me of this and I put my hair behind my ear trying to fight the tears. I was facing his angry eyes and I walked for the door and turned around to face him once.

"I'll stay here with my friend and for all I care you can go to hell" I whispered and heard the door close behind me.


	41. Chapter 41

What was he thinking? He really accused me of having someone else's baby! I was really mad as I walked towards Lucas.

"Sorry about that" he murmured as I let myself fall angry beside him.

"It's not your fault that your brother is an asshole" I just said in rage and Lucas turned to me.

"I guess it didn't go well then?" he wondered just as Nathan walked in again.

"Why don't you ask your ass of a brother" I still pressed out and Nathan laughed between his teeth.

"I remember saying go to hell" I said towards the guy standing opposite of me.

"I stay here for my brother, not for you" Nathan still said pissed and I was breathing heavily.

"Unbelievable" I just breathed out and Lucas looked at my tortured face and Nathan's. I guess he wasn't sure what to say, because he didn't know anything about the fight we had.

A doctor walked out just in the right moment and he told us kindly that the first person might have walked inside. Of course it has to be Lucas, there was no one in the world Peyton would rather want to see then him right now. Before he left he squeezed my hand and smiled comforting and I grinned back. My heart was still racing and the anger inside me was building up again as I focused on Nathan's blue eyes. He just walked over and sat down beside me and there we sat for quite a time now. I guess Nathan was thinking about all that he just found out and tried to proceed the information that he received. Still I didn't care, after he basically called me a slut.

I just stayed calm, but inside I was like a volcano, angry and upset, ready to explode at any second.

"Who's is it?" Nathan asked and this was the moment I couldn't hold it back anymore.

"You know what right now I wish so much it was Julian, though it isn't" I pressed out and I knew that every word flew at him like a knife. He just looked away from me while his jaw tightened.

"Because he never was such a coward as you" I just continued.

"Well than go back to him" Nathan whispered. I guess it was a moment thing, but it still hurt.

"You know I'm really getting tired of this" I said and got up. Some nurses were already starring and I couldn't calm myself down anymore.

"I feel like we're in Vegas all over again" I just screamed at him, tears were running down my face and I couldn't have stopped them.

"What has Vegas to do with anything?" he wondered and as well got up. I could hear despair in his voice, but it didn't stop me anymore. I didn't plan for this to happen and this was as much his fault as it was mine.

"You know you always try to find the easier way out, the better way for you" I said through the tears "back then you wanted to stay married because let's face it, this was the safer plan"

"Safer plan? I wanted to fight for us" he was defending himself and I just laughed.

"Yeah, letting me go away was a really great fight you fought" I just threw back at him.

"It's not like you left me a choice, by running away like this" he chocked at me and I swallowed before I could talk again.

"And by the way, for someone who cheated on his girlfriend and was probably ready to really cheat on her you have a big mouth for accusing me to sleep around" I added and he laughed in my face.

"You will say you were in control of the situation?" he asked and I walked closer to him and grabbed his shirt to pull him down to me.

"I was the one breaking off whatever we were doing" I whispered and he laughed even harder.

His laughter made me feel the hurt he caused me again.

"Maybe next time you sneak around with someone, you should protect then" he murmured in my face and I tightened my grip and let go of him again.

"I know we always protected" he whispered and I looked back at him with tears in my eyes.

The doctor walked out to tell me I was the one required in Peyton's room.

"She wants to see you" he smiled and I nodded as he turned away and bumped into him and whispered.

"Not in the first night" I coughed out and left him there. I had counted the days back and this was the exact day.

Before I walked inside I took a deep breath and wiped away the tears.

"Hey" I smiled and Peyton was sitting up and holding Lucas' hand.

"Hey" Peyton muttered.

"How are you?" I wondered and she smiled.

"Better and the baby is great too" she said and stroked over her belly with her free hand "you didn't have to come though"

"P. Sawyer will you stop" I said and sat down beside her.

"It wasn't a big deal" she whispered and I put my hand on her blanket.

"You scared me" I brought out with a shaky voice. Sure I just had a fight with Nathan and I didn't know if we were still a couple, or if we just broke up, but I was scared as hell for her.

"I didn't want to, it's just" Peyton swallowed "we knew that this could happen"

I threw Lucas a look and he nodded.

"I was always in danger, that's why he was all protective" Peyton stroked Lucas hand "he wanted me to get rid of the baby first"

"Not rid of it, I wanted you to live" Lucas corrected her.

"I know" she smiled softly.

"And now?" I asked and Peyton took a breath.

"The predictions were right" she just whispered and I took a deep breath.

"What predictions?" I asked and Peyton looked uncomfortable.

"Can I talk to Brooke alone?" she asked and Lucas nodded.

"Do you want to eat something?" he asked and she shook her head, so he walked out.

"Brooke, I could die" Peyton just said and I took her hand and squeezed it.

"Don't say that" I pleaded and she just tried to smile.

"I can't I want to be honest with you" she mumbled and I looked shocked.

"Honest?" I asked. There couldn't be anything worse than the news she just told me.

"I wanted you and Nathan to be godparents" Peyton mumbled "I know Nathan might not be the father type now, but he…will be" she said and squeezed my hand.

"I would love to be the godmother of your sweet baby girl, but I can't promise anything for Nathan" I just said and she looked concerned.

"What had happened Brooke?" she wondered.

"It's nothing that should worry you now" I just waved her away.

"Brooke, please I don't want to feel like a death person already" she whispered and I nodded.

"Okay" I said and breathed in and out for some seconds "I'm…"

It was still to word it out "am pregnant".

"Wow, that's wonderful, isn't it?" she wondered and I faked a smile.

"Not really" she understood after she saw my smile "he freaked!"

"More like a total breakdown" I mumbled and she tried to comfort me with a smile and I tried to smile back.

"We had a big fight" I told her and she squeezed my hand even more.

"You know what, if you need a place to crash, you can stay at our house" Peyton suggested and I smiled.

"But you?" I asked.

"I have to be here till the morning and I bet Lucas will stay here too" she smiled.

"Thank you Peyton" I said and she showed me to the purse. I took the purse and got the key.

"Thanks" I smiled.

Lucas walked back in and smiled softly.

"Nathan wants to talk to you" Lucas just whispered and I looked at him and back to Peyton.

"Go" she encouraged me and I walked out.

"I…" Nathan started and I just felt in his words.

"Save your breath" I just whispered and looked at him "go away and don't wait up"

"Brooke" Nathan mumbled and I just walked past him.

"Like I told you Nathan safe your breath" I mumbled and walked out.

"Where you are going?" he followed me.

"Sleeping around" I just threw in his face and he got angry again.

"Fine" he said and walked by the car.

"Fine" I said back and got into Peyton's car.

I was sleeping in bed as I heard voices outside the room.

"Is she here?" I heard Nathan's voice and sat up.

"You really told her it's not yours?" Lucas asked instead of answering his question.

"I was…" Nathan took a breath "caught by surprise" Nathan mumbled and Lucas seemed to laugh.

"Oh and that's why you call her a slut?" Lucas asked and Nathan was desperate.

"I know that I'm a jackass, but…" Nathan took a deep breath.

"Yes you were" Lucas just told him and Nathan laughed desperate.

"I'm scared as hell, man" Nathan whispered "she coughed me off guard"

"It doesn't make what you did right" Lucas reminded him.

"You know the whole story with Carrie, I already had an opinion" Nathan mumbled and added "I'm not ready for kids". He sat down. My stomach tightened and I was pulling my blanket around me again. I knew he wasn't ready for this step, but I still hoped that he would change his mind.

"But Brooke isn't Carrie, right?" Lucas asked.

"I know" Nathan whispered and I couldn't help but wait for him to say his next part. I needed to know what he thought or how he felt.

"I have this big shot at the NBA" Nathan mumbled and I got out of bed "I can't let this ruin my life" I was afraid to hear him say that. He just made his decision, but he didn't know that I was listening. He just told it Lucas, so he was telling the truth. I held my stomach and tears were in my eyes. In was standing there in the clothes from the last night and decided to get to the door to be able to listen better. I walked out and leaned against the doorway.

"Nate, you just talk like Dan" Lucas reminded him and Nathan nodded.

"I know and I hate myself for this" he whispered.

"And you thought the flowers will hide that?" I asked when I saw the red roses on Nathan's lap.

"Brooke, I was worried" Nathan got up and looked at me. He looked like he didn't sleep all night and I didn't even feel sorry for him. I cried most time through this night.

"I really don't care" I breathed out and walked for the bathroom.

"Brooke" Nathan walked after me and grabbed my hand.

"Let me explain" he whispered and I looked him in the eyes. I was cold and emotionless.

"No" I said "there is nothing you could say or do to take this all back" I said and he turned me around.

"You said you want this baby to be from Julian" he said and his voice broke. I really hurt him with that.

"You don't believe it's yours anyway" I said and tried to turn away from him.

"I know it's mine" he mumbled and I laughed.

"What happened?" I asked still angry.

"I was thinking about us all night" he whispered and I tried to get my hand back.

"So what are you breaking up with me?" I asked angry again and faced him "are you pulling a Dan Scott on me? I mean you are not ready to be a father or to live the rest of your life with me, so what do you want Nathan?" I asked and he was taking some breaths, his hand was slowly letting go of mine.

"Do you want me to break up with you?" he asked and I was confused.

"I mean do you want to have this baby with him more than me?" Nathan asked and I shivered. I didn't want to have this baby with anyone else but him, but he was not ready and maybe he would never be. I didn't understand what a difference this would make and I just looked at his tortured eyes.

"No" I whispered "I didn't plan this Nathan" I just explained.

"I'm just as scared as you are and I panic anytime that I have to picture myself as a mum" I whispered and he wanted to pull me into a hug.

"Don't" I whispered and pulled away.

"Brooke" Nathan mumbled and I looked into his blue eyes.

"If you came here to tell me this is over, than you should do it fast" I just said and felt the tears in my eyes. Nathan was shaking and I was waiting for the words to leave his lips, but he just took another breath. We stood there in the middle of the hallway. He was tortured and I was feeling torn. I didn't know what was about to happen and he didn't know what I was thinking.


	42. Chapter 42

Nathan was still looking in my eyes. He was thinking about what to say and I had nothing else to tell him: if he wanted to break up with me, than I really wanted it to happen fast.

"I'm not going to" he mumbled and I looked at him in total surprise.

"But you just said…" I tried to figure out what this meant.

"I said I'm not giving up what I have going for me, like basketball" he whispered and I was still confused.

"I heard you say that" I just said and he smiled. It wasn't his usual smile, like the one he had when he wanted to comfort me or when something was funny, it was more of a smirk that he had when I wasn't getting something.

"What?" I asked insecure now.

"You are the best thing that I have going in my life" Nathan said and I felt my heart jump in my chest.

"Except maybe him or her in there" he said and pointed to my stomach.

"But you said…" I tried again and he took my hand.

"Can we sit down for this?" he asked and we both went to the living room. The couch was empty now, I guess Lucas wanted us to have our space now.

"Okay" I mumbled as we sat down.

"I'm not saying that I am not scared" Nathan said and it was probably the first time that I've seen him this fragile.

I just watched him as he continued.

"I don't know actually if I am ready" at this comment I snapped and he just tried to get grip of me again.

"I'm trying to be honest here" he just explained. I knew he was, but it still hurt me somehow.

"I don't know if I am either" I just said and he probably noticed my fear as well because he was getting calmer.

"I am sorry I accused you to…"

"Be a slut?" I just finished and he nodded uncomfortable.

"I just freaked, I guess two pregnancies in three days are just too much for a guy to take" he said and a bitter laugh escaped him "at least if you're not Julian"

I felt a shiver down my spine as I remembered my words crashing at him. I was really mad and now I regretted even mentioning Julian back there.

"I didn't mean any of this, I was just angry at you and I wanted to…" I stopped for a second "hurt you, like you hurt me"

"Yeah" Nathan just nodded, but I knew that he was still suffering over the things you said.

"Maybe I didn't change since the Vegas trip" Nathan mumbled "maybe I really wanted things to get my way or no other way" he said and his eyes were concentrating on his hands.

"Would you please stop" I asked and put my hand on his cheek and tried to pull his face up.

"I guess I got scared" Nathan whispered.

"About the baby, you said this already" I remembered him, but he shook his head.

"I got scared of losing you again" he just breathed out and I nearly missed it.

"What?" I wondered and he looked up at me.

"If it was his, you would have left me, right?" he asked and I just looked back at him confused. It felt like I was talking to the 17 year old boy again, the one that I fell in love with so long ago.

"This was what you suggested me to do, if Carrie was pregnant" he mumbled and I understood why he got so upset over the news.

"I wouldn't" I smiled softly "I love you, you idiot" I shook my head and he put his hands around me.

"You sure?" he wondered and I laughed.

"I think so" I whispered and he pulled me in a hug.

"It feels so good to hear you say that" he breathed into my hair and I smiled.

"Because I love you too" he smirked.

We sat there in an embrace and after a while he said the words that I was hoping to hear him say.

"You know, after I found out it is mine…." He stopped and I looked up to face him.

"I could see our future" he smiled and I couldn't resist but kiss him.

"Will you please come back home?" Nathan asked and I nodded.

"We should probably let Lucas get back inside, anyway" I whispered and Nathan got up and walked for the door.

"Hey Luke" he smiled at him.

"So did you break anything?" he asked as he walked in and I shook my head.

"Does this mean you are both fine again?" he asked again and Nathan took a deep breath.

"Let's say we are our way there" he smirked "I really shouldn't have overreacted" he mumbled and Lucas laughed.

"You think?" he smiled at his little brother and sat down beside me "I think he was more like an asshole if you ask me" he mumbled and I laughed.

"Hey" Nathan protested and I got up and smiled at Lucas.

"I was a bitch too" I just stated and Nathan put an arm around me and smirked.

"Don't call my girlfriend that" he whispered and I smiled. There were still unanswered questions and we haven't had a solution for the baby problem, but I was just happy that we were talking again. He saw a future and somehow I could see one too. Me and him being a little family with the it inside me. I was still confused that I had an it in my stomach.

"Shouldn't we get Peyton from the hospital?" I asked and Lucas got up.

"You don't have to, I should" he smirked.

"No, I want to" I said and Nathan's grip tightened around me.

"We want to" he smirked.

And it felt so right to be in his arms right now and hear him say things like that. I knew that it was hard on him still and that we probably would need to talk the baby situation through more often, but for now I was glad he didn't break up with me and that he wanted to get through this with me.

"Bitch" I heard a familiar voice as I watched TV. We got Peyton home, but she had to stay in bed all the time. I figured that Lucas and she needed some private time and got back to my place. Nathan and Owen decided to work out. I guess Nathan had enough anger and power inside so he could have worked out for hours. So I picked up some movies that I wanted to see and knew that he would hate.

"Hey Rachel" I smirked as I saw the red-haired girl at my living room.

"Oh don't hey Rachel me" she snapped and I laughed.

"How about hey whore?" I suggested and she just stood there with her arms in her hips.

"Okay, what is going on?" I asked and she just waited again.

"Did something happen in your life?" she wondered and I laughed. Of course Nathan told Owen that I was pregnant.

"I mean Carrie isn't pregnant and if Nathan didn't sleep around after he got back together with you" she stopped and shook her head "than I don't see how he is going to be father soon" she said and I looked confused.

"Did he say that?" I asked and she let herself fall down beside me.

"Oh don't play dumb Davis" Rachel rolled her eyes and I laughed.

"I'm not, it's just the way he said it" I mumbled.

"Are you going to get fat or not?" Rachel threw me an annoyed look and I smirked.

"Yes" I whispered.

"Whore" she said and pulled me into a hug.

"Thanks I guess" I grinned and she pulled away.

"How do you feel about this? How did you find out? And more important: Why didn't you tell me?" she asked and I took a deep breath and answered the first two questions. She listened passionately and I hoped she would forget the last one. After I stopped and looked at her for a while, seeing how she processed all these information she looked up at me again and took a deep breath.

"Why didn't you tell me?" she asked and I needed to find a way to explain how I felt.

"You came here and knew I was pregnant, right?" I asked and she nodded.

"But you didn't tell me" she complained.

"Exactly" I whispered.

"What?" she just got out and I smiled.

"Owen did tell you, because he got it from Nathan" I whispered "if I told you this, Owen might have found out and this way Nathan. I wasn't ready to tell him, because I didn't know how"

"You know maybe if he had found out from Owen, Nathan wouldn't freak out like that and call you a slut" Rachel said and I laughed.

"Maybe" I agreed "but I was afraid" I added and she nodded.

"Next time, please tell me this Brooke" she whispered "I wanted to be there for you"

"I know" I smiled and put my head on her shoulder.

"So what are we watching?" she wondered and as I told her she rolled her eyes.

"Dirty Dancing? Really?" she complained but watched it never the less with me.

Nathan was all sweaty and out of breath as he and Owen walked in. Rachel and I moved on to Sex and the City episodes and only turned around briefly as we heard the door.

"Hey guys" I greeted them and Owen walked over.

"Hey, mum to be" he grinned and I rolled my eyes.

"Thank you" I whispered towards Nathan.

"I had to tell someone" he complained.

"How about we have dinner together?" Owen asked and Rachel gave him a look.

"Do you go like this?" she wondered.

"Oh yeah baby, you know you like me dirty" he smirked and started to pull her in a hug.

"Eww" she complained and he laughed "great now I need a shower too"

"Totally the purpose" Owen laughed and she joined him.

"Do you want to?" I asked Nathan and he nodded.

"If you want to" he whispered and I felt so confused. We were all distant to each other, like we t this tried not to hurt each other's feelings all this time and I wondered if this would go away soon. I probably overreacted. We just made up in the morning; of course we were weird around each other. The things that were said yesterday only started to be erased and the words we said in the morning haven't sunk in yet.

"Sure" I smiled and he bend over me and kissed my lips.

"We pick you up" Owen suggested and I grinned.

"Sure" I whispered and they walked for the door.

I sat on the couch and watched the end of the episode as I heard the shower start. I just wondered if I should have joined him, but decided otherwise. I needed to fight this feeling of being numb around him, but I couldn't quite yet. I was happy he told Owen he was going to be a father, but I needed to believe him and it was still hard on me that I couldn't quite yet.


	43. Chapter 43

Sorry had a bad day and couldn't write, hope you'll like the update and thanks for reading!

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We were sitting at the restaurant and Owen told us all the details about their work out. How Nathan was having a great progress and how Owen felt left behind all the time. Rachel and I laughed at how much fun Owen had while telling us about suicides and free throw percentage. He always compared results and showed us how much they improved since the last workout. I sort of linked out and only saw his lips move only his next sentence brought me back to reality.

"And then Nathan just goes: I'm going to be a father" Owen grinned at me, but I stiffened right where I was. It confused me that Nathan told anyone, after the big fight we had. There were different signs that he was sending me and I didn't know which to believe. Was he proud to be a father? Was he scared as hell? Was he even looking forward it?

Rachel seemed to have kicked O under the table, because he had a painful face and changed the subject again. We talked about Peyton and how awful Lucas felt because he couldn't take away her pain and how much he suffered through the whole pregnancy.

"You know we should distract her, maybe with a movie or so, I know you want t be there for her" Rachel mumbled and I nodded.

Nathan's hand moved towards mine and I pulled away. I guess it was less than a second, but Rachel noticed, because she broke up her speech about the movie she would suggest to see in midsentence and started the sentence over again.

"It surely is a fun movie to watch together, but not with a pregnant chick, so maybe we can watch it together and for Peyton we can borrow almost famous, I bet she likes that one" she said but I hadn't even got which movie we were talking about. I was concentrated on how Nathan's hand moved away again and how he sat there all stiff again. He just started to relax and there I went and ruined it. From the corner of my eye I noticed his jaw was tight and he just nodded at anything that Rachel said.

"What movie was it again?" I asked and Owen shook his head as if to tell me I behaved wrong. This was too much for me. I didn't know how to behave. I wanted to be back to normal, like the fight never happened, but I just couldn't. Nathan hurt me and no matter what he said now, I wasn't sure I could trust his words. I guess my body was just reflecting all my doubts. I sighed and Owen relaxed.

"Inglorious Bastards" he murmured as he watched me and Nathan more carefully. We both tried to act normal around them, but none of us succeeded.

"Any Terentino is pretty good" Rachel just said and tried to ease the tension that was surely enough in the air.

"Whatever just count me in" Nathan mumbled.

He was cold and distant again and I could have smacked my face for that. Just today we managed it back to "we" and he was moving back to first person singular and all of this only because I flinched away from his touch. I just hesitated a second, but it was enough to hurt him again. I hurt him and he hurt me back now.

"B?" Owen asked noticing how I couldn't stop starring at Nathan. A shiver ran down my spine and I turned around to face him again. It was cute how he tried to make me part of the conversation again, but my thoughts were running wild.

"I guess" I just whispered and Rachel searched for words to convince me.

"It's a Brad Pitt movie" she smiled and I grinned. Maybe I needed a light topic, like a move to trail away from all the pain I was going through right now.

"Well that's a good argument" I laughed and heard Nathan snapped.

Of course I couldn't light up just a bit; he would make sure I suffered as much as he did.

"What?" I asked in a polite voice and he just shook his head. I watched his eyes move away from mine and how his evil smirk faded.

"Just the pepper in my food" he mumbled.

"Sure" I rolled my eyes. I waited a second and then watched Owen.

"O you should really talk to the cook" I whispered and Nathan looked confused at me.

"Why?" he asked and I raised my eyebrows.

"I mean pepper in a chocolate cake" I just said and Nathan looked down on his plate. He was regretting to have said anything. He felt like an idiot and I could feel the desperation in his movements.

"This could be his new variation" Owen tried to safe his friend and I smiled at the attempt. Nathan breathed out and I just shook my head. Nathan breathed out heavily and Owen had nothing left to add.

"At least he tries to safe your ass" Rachel whispered to Nathan and Nathan breathed out again.

"Sorry I guess we weren't ready for a public appearance yet!" I said sad and got up.

"We didn't mean to ruin your dinner, or at least I didn't" I tried to smile and Rachel looked at me worried as I left the table.

"You both are such idiots" she said before she walked after me.

"Hey" Rachel whispered as she sat down beside me on the stairs.

"Hey" I tried to smile and she looked concerned.

"It's nothing" I told her but she didn't believe me a second.

"This wasn't noting" Rachel disagreed and I nodded.

"You are probably right" I whispered and she put her head on my shoulder.

"What's wrong?" she mumbled and I took a deep breath.

"He was mad at me because of the pregnancy and now…he tries to act like everything is fine, it kills me not to know if it is or not and the words he said to me…." I took a deep breath "they aren't helping either" I just laughed in desperation and Rachel put an arm around me.

"This kid will be fine, just as you will be fine" she promised "you know why?"

"Why?" I asked and glanced at her.

"Because you can always count on me" she smiled and I smirked back.

"Thanks" I whispered "at least something I can believe in"

"And Brad Pitt" Rachel laughed and I joined her.

"Sure, he is something too"

Nathan and I were on our way home. We just said goodbye to our friends and were sitting in his car and we were silent. Nathan just turned the radio on and didn't talk. I wanted to start any topic, but I couldn't think of a safe one, so I just left it the way it was. He stopped in the driveway and I walked out of the car and followed him inside.

"You know what" Nathan mumbled as we were in the living room.

"What?" I asked and my heart was pounding like crazy. I was afraid what he would tell me.

"You should sleep in our bed, I just take the guest room" he whispered and I nodded.

"Okay" I bit my lip, but didn't argue. If he wanted to sleep alone today this was fine by me.

"I think you need some space right now" he mumbled and I looked up confused.

I wanted to tell him he was wrong and that I just needed to be in his arms, but my throat tightened and I wasn't able to make a sound come out.

"Okay, I just take my stuff out" Nathan said and walked upstairs.

I wanted so badly to get a hold of him or to stop him from fading away. But I just watched him disappear on the second floor. I walked over to the kitchen and got a glass of water.

I heard his footsteps and a door close when I turned around and walked into my bedroom. I changed and brushed my teeth, before I hid behind the covers and tried to close my eyes. I just couldn't. So I was lying there in the darkness and turned and tossed from side to side. I just couldn't believe what a fool I was and how much I struggled to get over the words Nathan threw in my face. I sat up and watched the stars from the bed. They were shinning bright and were calming me down. I knew that Nathan was sorry and probably he was regretting the words, just as much as I regretting lying about wishing this baby was Julian's. It was hard that I was pregnant. I hated that this wasn't planned and I just wanted to turn back time and make a difference but I couldn't. I got out of the bed and wanted to get downstairs. I needed to see if he was sleeping.

As I came downstairs I heard the TV and saw its light.

Nathan was watching some TV show and I smiled. He couldn't sleep either and somehow it calmed me again. He was even watching my favorite show and I smirked.

"So you missed that episode too?" I asked and he turned around in shock.

"I guess" he smiled and breathed out.

"May I?" I asked and he nodded, so I sat down beside him.

"The show isn't bad" Nathan mumbled.

"I think so too" I smirked and we both watched it until the break.

"I couldn't sleep without you" I whispered and Nathan breathed out in relieve.

"Me neither" he smirked and I turned around to face him.

"I'm sorry if I am distant right now" I said and watched him carefully "I just need to understand how you could yell at me like that and accuse me of all this, but then proudly tell Owen that you are going to be a father" I tried to explain and Nathan looked down ashamed.

"I overreacted and I'm not proud of this, I am sometimes impulsive and it's probably not my best trail, but that's how I am sometimes" Nathan whispered "and when you said that you rather wish it was Julian's" he made a face "it just hit some sensible spot" he added and I nodded.

"I know and I am sorry it did" I whispered "I didn't mean it"

"I was still angry at Carrie and probably scared to lose you the fears of maybe have to give you up for Julian, I just saw red" he whispered and I leaned against his shoulder.

"I'm not going anywhere" I said and he kissed my hair.

"I'm want it all with you" Nathan whispered "Family, Success and Life"

"This sounds nice" I smiled and he put his hand on my stomach. This time it was soft on it like he was scared of any pressure and I smiled.

"Can we start over?" I wondered and Nathan nodded.

"I would like that" he smirked.

"Okay" I got up and he looked at me confused.

I took a deep breath and looked him in the eyes. I took his hand in mine and smiled nervous.

" Nate" I grinned and he looked up still confused.

"Yeah" he just whimpered and I smiled at his nervous face.

"I…" I stopped and changed the sentence "we are going to be parents"

He smiled as he got what I tried to do and got up. He pulled me in a hug and kissed my lips softly.

"I'm going to be a father?" he asked again and I smiled.

"I think so" I grinned and he kissed my lips again.

"We are going to be parents" he whispered against my lips and I nodded once again.

"These are good news" he smirked at me.

"I know" I said and he pulled me down on the couch. I closed my eyes and I put my head on his chest and we felt asleep right there.


	44. Chapter 44

Hope you guys like the update! and hope you want to see how the story goes on, if not just tell me and I will come to the end :P

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I was just asleep in Nathan's arms again, the last few days seemed to work out great and I was just closing my eyes again with a smile on my face as I heard the door bell rang.

"You await someone?" I asked Nate and he shook his head.

"You?" he wondered and I slowly got out of bed and searched for my slippers.

"Not really" I whispered and he got out as well. I liked how he always slept shirtless and grinned at his body.

"They really have a bad timing" I smirked at him and for a second I could see him blush.

"Let's just stay here than" he smiled and kissed my neck.

"Very tempting" I grinned but heard the bell again.

"I think it is important" I said and pulled away.

"Okay" he said and kissed my cheek "come on" he smiled and we walked down together.

Nathan turned the light on and I went for the door. As I opened it I saw Haley. Her face was full with tears.

"Hales" I said worried and she tried to catch herself, but she just couldn't.

"Come inside" I said and Nathan looked worried at me from the kitchen. I just nodded at him and he said down to drink his juice at the kitchen.

I walked over to the couch and Haley sat down beside me. I waited until she was ready to talk and as she took a deep breath and started I was stunned.

"Chris cheated on me, again" she said through the tears and I hugged her.

"Hales" I whispered desperately and she just put her head on my shoulder.

"He did it again" she blubbered "I caught them in our bed" she added and I couldn't believe Chris would ever do this to Haley again.

"Were they?" I wanted to make sure and she laughed desperately.

"Oh yeah" she said with a sad laugh.

"Sorry" I only chocked out and Nathan walked out with some juice for her and me.

"Hey Haley, you want something to drink?" he asked politely and she nodded.

"Actually I would like an ax even more, but it's okay" she whispered and I took the other glass and took a sip. I looked nervous at Nathan and he just voiced what I hoped he would.

"You mind if I stay here?" he asked and Haley nodded.

"Not at all" she whimpered and took a big sip of her juice. Nathan sat down on the table in front of us and we both listened to her story.

"I just came back from the recording studio and when I came home I wondered why the house door was open" she started "so I walked upstairs to our bedroom and on the floor in front of it were his boxers and as I opened the door…." She took a deep breath "well I really didn't have to see that" she said and tears ran down her face again.

"So he noticed me as I walked out of the bedroom and shut the door close, he said he was sorry, he even tried to find excuses, but I just left" she sobbed and I hugged her again.

"You can stay here as long as you want to" I said and threw a glimpse at Nathan who simply nodded.

"You really can" he whispered and Haley looked up again.

"Thank you guys" she whispered and Nathan walked upstairs to get new sheets.

"Hey sweets, if you need anything just say a word" I mumbled and she nodded.

"Thank you Brooke" she breathed out and looked at me.

"So things with you and Nathan are back to normal?" she wondered and he just walked down.

"Yes, things are perfect" I smiled and he leaned against me and kissed my cheek.

"They really are" he mumbled and Haley's mouth escaped a grin.

"Sorry I ruined your evening" she said and walked for the guestroom with the sheets.

"I can do that" I protested and she just shook her head.

"Go upstairs and be cute together" she whispered and closed the door.

"I feel so sorry for her" I said and Nathan pulled his arm around me.

"I know, but all we can do is" he took a deep breath "let her rest and give her refugee as long as she needs one"

"You know that you are amazing, right?" I smirked and he just raised his eyebrows.

"So I've heard" he grinned.

I leaned closer and kissed his jaw.

"I'm glad we made up" I smirked.

"We are still going to New York together, right?" he wondered and I nodded.

"If they didn't make up by then, she can have the house for herself" Nathan suggested.

"I don't think she will forgive him again" I just let out and Nathan nodded.

"I never thought you would forgive me again" he whispered and I sighed.

"You are different" I remembered him.

"Different how?" he asked and I just shrugged.

"I know you" I smiled and he kissed me.

"And I'm really glad you do" he whispered against my lips.

As we woke up next morning a sweet sent came to our noses, as we got down to the kitchen Haley was making waffles.

"Good morning" she smiled at us. She was already dressed and seemed to be feeling better, though her eyes were still red from the last night's tears.

"Morning" I smiled at her and Nathan just nodded.

"I thought I could at least make breakfast" Haley explained and poured coffee in two cups. She also put plates in front of us.

"This never happens in here" Nathan joked "self made breakfast"

"It's because yours poisoned me" I protested.

"No I pregnant you, the food was okay" he teased and I leaned towards him, like I was planning on kissing him and turned away, just before his lips touched mine.

"Mean" he pouted.

"Whatever" I grinned.

"So how did you sleep?" I asked and turned to Haley. Nathan just softly caressed my hand and I smiled.

"After I turned off my phone I could at least close my eyes for some hours, but I woke up every now and then" Haley explained and put all the waffles in the middle.

"I hope you like waffles" she grinned and I nodded.

They tasted really great and I was amazed how Haley could be such a great cook, when she was on tour all the time.

"So I guess Chris called" Nathan asked and Haley nodded.

"Yeah, he said he was worried and that he needed to know where I was" she snapped "I didn't tell him, because I don't believe a word he says"

"Maybe he is worried though" Nathan said and it was like saying Voldemort. Haley looked at him in disbelieve and I joined her stare.

"Okay I defiantly overstepped my boundaries" Nathan noticed and I squeezed his hand.

"No" Haley said politely and Nathan took a deep breath before he started again.

"I mean just because he made a" he noticed that I got tense "huge mistake, doesn't mean he worries"

"It also doesn't mean that I care" Haley just told him and I chewed my waffle. It was safer not to talk right now.

"I just think if he thinks he made a mistake it's even harder on him, not knowing where you spend the night, because he made you leave the house" Nathan tried to safe himself.

"Well, I don't care if he feels bad or not" Haley whispered "for all I care he can search for a new one night stand right now"

"You shouldn't think about stuff like that" I whispered and she nodded.

"I will, so I can as well do something productive out of this" she whispered.

"Work out?" Nathan smirked.

"No, writing" Haley corrected him and he smiled.

"I should have figured that one out" he said ashamed and I nodded.

"You are working out with Owen today, right?" I asked and Nathan grinned.

"Everyday" he smirked.

"Lucas will join you guys today, take time and so on" I leaned against Nate.

"Why?" he wondered.

"I wanted to tell Peyton the big news" I whispered and put my hand on my belly.

"Oh, say hi from me" Haley insisted and I agreed.

"Tell her I said hi first" Nathan grinned at my friend and she only rolled her eyes.

"Whatever" she laughed and chewed her waffle down.

Haley left home first, so Nathan and I had some moments alone. I walked over and smirked at him.

"You really did overstep your boundaries" I smirked.

"Oh, I really hoped you would shut me down" he smiled as he put his arm around my waist and pulled me closer.

"Oh, really?" I grinned and leaned into his kiss.

"Sorry we can't do stuff like that in front of her right now" I mumbled against his lips.

"I get this" he smiled at me.

"Will you pick Lucas up?" I wondered.

"No, but I will bring you there" he smirked.

"Oh, very different" I noticed.

"Hey" Lucas greeted us at the door "Peyton is in the bedroom, would you please make sure she doesn't get up"

"Your girls are safe with me" I promised and wanted to walk inside as I heard a sigh.

"Sorry" I turned around and kissed my boyfriends lips.

"Better" he grinned and kissed me once again.

"Okay have fun working out" I smiled and Nathan pulled me closer to kiss me again.

"Hey, are you on a kiss break at home?" Lucas wondered and Nathan sighed.

"If you only knew" Nathan whispered and I opened the door.

"See you later" I whispered.

I heard Nathan starting a story about our late visitor and knew that Lucas would probably go mad at Chris. It was cute how he saw Haley as his little sister. I smirked and knocked on Peyton's door.

"Room service" I grinned and she laughed.

"Get in" she screamed and I opened the door.

"So I thought I might cheer you up a bit" I grinned and gave her my magazine among some others, some books and a cure album.

"Lucas said you broke that one" I grinned and she hugged me.

"Thanks" she smiled and pattered the bed so I would sit down.

"How are my two girls?" I wondered and Peyton smiled.

"I'm bored, she is happy and kicking ass in there" she said and pointed at her stomach.

"It's not long anymore, right?" I asked and she nodded.

"Less than 5 weeks" she smiled.

"Wow" I just said and she smirked.

"So tell me about your life, or life outside this damn room anyway" Peyton teased and moved so I could lay down beside her.

"Well, I have big news I guess" I whispered and Peyton looked nervous at me.

"I am pregnant" I smiled and she cheered.

"Congratulations Brooke" she pulled me in a hug "It's Nathan's right?" she asked though she knew the answer.

"Yes" I smiled.

"Good" she smirked "That's good right?"

"Now I start to believe so" I whispered and she pulled away.

"Now?" she asked and we talked about the fights we had and the make ups. Peyton listen passionately until I finished.

"You mean Lucas knew first?" she played angry and I laughed uncomfortable.

"Kind of, but I didn't mean it" I whispered and she laughed again.

"Well, who cares, you are going to be a mum" Peyton smiled and I nodded.

"How you feel about it?" she wondered and I thought for a moment.

"Scared" I just could say and she nodded.

"Join the club" she muttered.

"Do we have shirts?" I asked to bring some easiness in.

"You're the designer" she reminded me.

"So we defiantly have shirts" I laughed.

We spend the rest of the evening talking about her being stubborn and not taking medical advices seriously and her making fun of me, because she knew I wouldn't listen to doctors as well. We watched TV until I heard some steps on the doorway.

"I'll be right back" I whispered.

"That's why I need her to come with me to New York" Nathan said to Lucas and I stopped in the kitchen.

"I get this, well we can take care of Haley" Lucas muttered "I'm so proud of you little brother"

I wondered what they were talking about and just decided to go back, but before I could sneak away Nathan entered the door and looked surprised as he saw me there.

"Hey guys" I pretended to just have walked inside.

"Hey" Luke muttered but Nathan didn't move.

"I was getting water for Peyton" I just explained and he searched for something in my eyes.

"Okay" he whispered.

"How was work out?" I asked and they told me again all the scores, but my brain trailed away again.

There was a secret reason behind the New York trip and I wondered what this would be.


	45. Chapter 45

Sorry it took me so long! And I decided to show you this chapter from Nathan's POV, hope you like that. And sorry I do not upload as fast as before, hope you don't mind!

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**Nathan's POV**

We were finally in New York and I was sitting on the bed, while Brooke took a shower. We would soon meet with my team mates and she wanted to look great, though they liked her already. Finally I had time to open the black box in my hand. The ring that was shinning back at me was screaming Brooke. The diamond was simple but had a great form, it was round and had one carat. I was chocking at the words that I would say tomorrow. She didn't know anything, she just thought we would go out for dinner and take a nice walk through the central park, but I wanted to get down on one knee. This was what I wanted: a life with her. Now I just had to hope she would say yes.

"Nathan how much time do we have?" her voice screamed from the shower.

"Half an hour" I smirked back and hid the box.

"You ready yet? I want to take a shower too" I protested and she laughed.

"Well, no one will look at you, if they can look at me" she grinned and I walked to the door.

"You didn't just say that" I warned her and she opened the door.

"Scared of the truth?" she asked and had her towel around the body.

I grinned.

"So I missed to join you?" I pouted and she grinned.

"Yes you did" she winked at me and I pulled her closer and kissed her neck.

"Hmm" she breathed out "You can shower while I get ready" she suggested and I walked in and pulled her back in the shower.

"We can be late" I smirked and she kissed me.

"Man, if you once would be on time, it would be a miracle" Mike grinned at us and I just pointed at my girlfriend.

"Can you really blame me?" I asked and he just laughed. But I already felt her elbow in my rips.

She rolled her eyes and looked at him.

"No caps" she grinned and he was still laughing.

"I like his excuse better" he just added and she leaned against me.

"You're going to pay for this" she mumbled.

"Totally worth it" I whispered back.

We sat down on the big table and the guys offered us a beer from the pitcher.

"Sure" Brooke said and looked for some girls.

"Girlfriends aren't allowed here as I see" she stated and Rob laughed, he was sitting next to us.

"Well they are allowed in your case" he just smirked at her and she raised her eyebrow.

"How do you mean that?" she wondered and Ethan joined him.

"First you are hot" he said and I looked him down.

"Watch it" I warned him and he just smirked.

"Second of all, he wouldn't come otherwise" Rob grinned.

"And more important we are sportsmen, we don't do girlfriends, we do dating or wives" Ethan looked at Mike.

"Well I tend to like you more and more" Brooke grinned at Mike and he smiled ashamed.

"I'll take good care of your guy, and try to hide him from this two" Mike promised and I put the arm around her.

"No one needs to take care of me, I do not care about other girls" I muttered and she kissed me.

"You haven't seen the cheerleaders" Rob protested and Mike laughed.

"Really take care of him, and the cheerleaders are not that hot" Mike told Brooke.

"Easy for you to say, you are married to one of them" Ethan said and I laughed.

"Really you are married to one of your cheerleaders?" she asked and Mike nodded.

"Yeah" he whispered.

"Sounds like our story" I raised my eyebrow and she laughed.

"Well our story was more betrayal of ex boy or girl, locked in together and same friends, than cheerleader basketball player" Brooke shrugged and I pulled her closer.

"Yeah, but you were a cheerleader" I smirked and suddenly it hit me. She was there most of my life and I loved her just like when I noticed that I had a crush on her. I was only happy when we were together and I wanted this for the rest of my life. I wanted to be married to her and no one else.

"How come you never told us, you had this amazing girl back when you started to come to the try outs" Ethan asked after Brooke talked to him about meeting with Scarlett Johanson.

"We were…" she hesitated.

"On a break" I rescued the situation. No one needed to know, why we were separated or that we broke up for good actually. The only thing was that now she reminded me of something that made me panic slightly.

_She just stood there and I hardly knew what to say or to do, so I was just facing her._

"_I'm sorry, Nate" she whispered and her lip was shaking._

_I already knew this meant nothing good._

"_So you decided" I asked in a broken voice. I couldn't believe it, she made up her mind and she decided against me._

"_Can't we pretend this never happened?" she wondered and I shook my head._

"_I can't Brooke" I whispered and she was in total shock. But I just was honest, I couldn't pretend like this didn't happen. Maybe I could have pretended the wedding didn't happen, but that she decided against me, was cutting me like thousand knifes._

"_I'm not saying no, I'm just saying not yet" she tried to explain through sobs._

"_You saying no to me Brooke" I just told her, because this simply was what she did and I felt my eyes become wet._

"_No Nate" she grabbed my hand and kissed me._

_I loved her and I felt rejected, this was the worst feeling._

Again I thought about the ring in the black box, the one I wanted to give her and felt insecure. What if she would say no again? Maybe she wasn't ready yet and I was moving too fast again? Would she really be able to run off again?

"Nathan?" Rob's voice fell into my thoughts and I just looked up.

"Hm?" I asked and Brooke squeezed my hand worried, but I just smiled.

"You up for a game?" he asked and I nodded.

"Sure" I whispered and she leaned against me.

"Maybe now I can cheer for you?" she grinned and the guys laughed.

"Maybe" I smirked, but in my head I was still preoccupied with the question whether or not she would accept my proposal.

"We just pay and go to the gym" Mike smiled.

"Should we…"Brooke started but Ethan broke her up.

"We pay for you, if you give us Scarlett's number" Rob suggested, but she only shook her head.

"As I own a clothing company, I rather pay for myself" she grinned and we left the bar.

She was sitting on the bank and we played two against two. I teamed up with Mike and Brooke cheered every now and then for us. When I played I forgot all the sorrows about my proposal and concentrated on the game.

"Hey you only cheer for them" Ethan complained and Brooke laughed.

"Get a girlfriend and she might cheer for you" she suggested.

"One Zero, for Brooke" Mike smiled.

"And 20 to 16 for us" I added and Rob was in his game.

"Just bring it on" he said and ran for a lay down.

I jumped and stopped the ball at the basket.

"No way" I whispered "not with my girl watching" I smirked.

The game was over and I walked over to Brooke.

"I think we owe it all to your cheering skills" I grinned and leaned forward to kiss her.

"You are sweaty" she complained between the kisses and I grinned.

"But you still love me, right?" I pouted and she kissed my lower lip.

"I think so" she played around until I pulled her up and smirked.

"Don't make me use you as a ball" I raised my eyes and she laughed.

"Okay, I do love you" she laughed.

"So that's how you get the girls?" Ethan grinned and I put her down.

"No, that's how they get me" I grinned and Brooke leaned against me.

"That's how evil we are" she smirked.

"The guys like you a lot" I smiled and she nodded.

"They are actually okay, big upgrade to Tim" she laughed as we walked down the central park. The lights were shining down on us and she looked so lovely, while she went on about how she thought Mike was sweet and that she thinks that Rob and Ethan have a big mouth. Theoretically this was the right moment, the one where I should have asked her, but my knees became week and my breath was stuck in my throat.

"So tomorrow is your first training?" she asked and I was back to reality.

"Yeah" I smirked and she leaned against me.

"Nervous?" she wondered and I nodded.

"Pretty much" I grinned and I wasn't lying. I was nervous, but not about the training. I couldn't come up with the words to ask her, though I wanted it so badly. All the memories of Vegas hit me over and over again.

"Poor boy" she whispered and squeezed my hand "I promise to be there all the time"

And this was exactly what I wanted. I wanted to have eternity with her, but I couldn't take a no, not again.

We finally made it to the hotel and the moment was gone, I just missed the perfect moment to ask her if she wanted to marry me. The box with the ring was in my jacket and I put my hand inside the pocket and surrounded it with my fingers.

There I was with the perfect ring and the perfect girl, I had the perfect words in my head, but all I could say was:

"Are you tired?" I asked and I could have punched myself for this.

"Yeah, but I do not allow you in my bed, if you don't shower" she threatened me and I put my hands up.

"Well officer if you insist" I grinned and she kissed me.


	46. Chapter 46

Hey guys, sorry it took me so long to upload more, but I'm moving away from home soon and I have just a little time for writing, but I try to write more!

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I woke up and looked up at Nathan. He was still asleep and I smiled as I noticed how happy he looked why he slept. I wondered what the surprise was that he planned for me and if it could be any bigger than mine. I cuddled myself into his arms and noticed that his head was moving. His lips touched my ear and he smirked against it.

"Good morning gorgeous" he smiled and I grinned.

"Morning hot stuff" I said and he turned me around and kissed me.

"You know I just noticed something" Nathan smiled and I faced him.

"What?" I wondered and put my hand on his cheek.

"That I'm probably the luckiest guy in this whole city" he smirked "I'm dating Brooke Davis, who is great with my teammates and my friends, because she is my best friend" he stopped "don't tell Owen that"

I laughed. Maybe now was the moment. Maybe this was the best timing I could ever get. I got up and he looked confused.

"Did I scare you away already?" he joked and I took an envelope out of my beauty case and came back to bed.

"No, silly" I smirked "you know that I'm probably so much more lucky than you, dating the new shooter of Charlotte Bobcats" I stopped "so I wanted to give you a present"

"A present?" he had his seductive smile on his face and I laughed.

"Not this present" I laughed and gave him the envelope.

"You are giving me a letter?" he asked again.

"Open it you smart ass" I raised my eyebrow and he took the envelope from my hands and opened it.

"Two tickets for Vegas?" he asked in disbelief "are you trying to break up with me?" he joked.

"No, I'm trying to marry you" I whispered and his eyes were on mine.

"What?" he chocked out.

"I'm asking you if you…" I restarted but he stopped me.

"No" Nathan said and I pulled back in surprise.

"No?" I asked. Somehow I didn't expect this. He said no.

"No, I mean" he stopped for a moment "What I meant was" he stopped again and I was getting nervous.

He just leaned towards his nightstand and got something out.

"Brooke Davis, will you marry me?" he asked and opened a black box in his hands.

"What?" I asked as I saw a shinny ring inside the little box.

"Will you marry me?" he asked again and his blue eyes were soft on mine.

"You planned on ask me that?" I wondered and he smirked.

"Just like you" he smiled.

I bit my lip and held back the tears.

"Yes" I smiled and he put his arms around me and we started to kiss. I was so happy in this moment I didn't even think about the box, which fell down. Nathan stopped the kiss though and got the box.

"I should put the ring on your finger than" he smiled and got my hand.

I noticed that my hand was shacking.

"Sorry, I think I am nervous" I smirked as the ring was on my finger.

"It's so beautiful" I whispered "did you got help?"

"No, it reminded me of you" he smirked and I kissed him once again.

"We will be a real family" he smiled.

"I know" I nodded.

"So are we going for Vegas?" I wondered and Nathan looked at me.

"I would love to marry you now and anywhere, but you should have your friends around you and we should share this moment with them" Nathan whispered.

"I like that idea" I grinned and he kissed my head and my lips once again.

"Oh me too"

We were at the airport and Lucas was picking us up with Peyton and a baby in her arm.

"Did we miss it?" I asked and looked at the little girl in her arm.

"Yes, it actually started right when you both left" Peyton grinned.

"Isn't she lovely?" Haley asked and I nodded.

"Can I hold her?" I wondered and Peyton gave me the little pink blanket with the baby.

She was sleeping and smelled just like little children do, it's hard to explain, but I couldn't wait until I would hold my baby in my arms for the first time.

"Hey Sawyer" I smirked at the baby and Nathan walked close to me to watch his niece.

"Sawyer Brooke" Peyton corrected me.

"Really?" I asked and Lucas nodded.

"It's after her godmother" he smirked.

"Sawyer Nathan didn't sound girly enough" Peyton laughed and Nathan nodded.

"Got that" he smirked.

"I knew you were a Brooke" I smiled at the little girl "I will be a great godmother, I promise"

"What is this?" Rachel asked as she focused on my hand.

"Is this what I think it is?" Haley wondered and Peyton looked closer at the ring.

"Are you two engaged?" she asked and I leaned against Nathan.

"See we didn't have to plan a dinner just to tell them, they find out anyway" I laughed.

Owen gave Nathan a high five and Peyton took Sawyer from my arms and pulled me into a hug. All my friends were congratulating us and I smiled.

"We promise to tell you all the details at dinner, okay?" I asked and they nodded.

"She said yes" Nathan grinned.

"Yeah" I smiled and leaned against him.

We were cooking together before the others would arrive.

"You will eat this right, now that we figured out that I didn't make you sick" he smirked "at least not with food"

I laughed at this comment.

"Very secure" I shook my head and he kissed my neck.

"I know, this is great right, like my best quality" Nathan grinned and I smirked.

"By the way I told Haley she can stay here again, but she mumbled something about not wanting to interrupt us and stuff, so I told her to come over earlier" I told him and he grinned.

"You just try to escape the work in here" he protested and I grinned.

"You got this right" I laughed as the bell rang.

"Go" he smirked and I walked over to Haley.

"Hey" I smiled at her.

"Hey" she grinned and I let her inside.

"So what's going on?" I wondered and she smiled softly.

"Well, Chris is on tour now and I have the house for myself" she said and I looked worried.

"Are you back together?" I wondered and she shook her head.

"No, I hope I have more self-esteem than that" she shook her head and I pulled her into my arm.

"Are you broken up for good?"

"Yes" she whispered and I squeezed her slightly.

"Sorry about that" I whispered.

"Don't be, it's better this way I guess" she smirked "we even got two tours organized, just tell me when the big day is and I will mark it as a no go for the tour" she grinned at the ring.

"We haven't talk this yet" I smiled.

The door rang again and the others arrived one by one.

We were sitting at the table as Nathan served the chicken with potatoes and salad.

"Wow this looks great" Peyton smiled and Owen nodded.

"His work" I looked at Nathan and we all started eating. Sawyer was lying in the same room in her trolley.

"She is really peaceful" I smiled at Peyton.

"Yes, we got really lucky" Lucas agreed and we talked about the way Nathan and I proposed to each other and how Peyton made it through the birth giving process. Lucas, Owen and Nathan couldn't stop talking about his first practice and Rachel, Peyton, Haley and I talked about the baby and my ring as well as the marriage.

"You will get married before you get a bump, right?" Rachel asked and I watched Nathan from the corner of my eye.

"We haven't talked about this yet" I smirked.

"We want to get married as soon as possible" Nathan laughed "I really was fighting with myself about Vegas"

"We wouldn't have talked to you anymore, you get that, right?" Rachel raised her eyebrow.

"I second that" Peyton added and Haley laughed.

"Well, gladly I talked her out of it" Nathan said proud and Owen laughed.

"I bet you were just too scared to go to Vegas with her once again" O said and Lucas laughed.

"This was hard on him" he whispered and Nathan pulled me close.

"She wouldn't run away now" he mumbled and I nodded.

The guys left early and Peyton promised me, that she would call me when she walks through the park with her baby girl tomorrow and that I could join.

"So you ready to talk wedding day?" Nathan asked and I nodded.

All the dirty plates were clean and we sat down on the couch.

"So how long does it take us to plan this?" he smirked and I laughed.

"Depends" I whispered.

"On what?" he leaned against me and his forehead touched mine.

"If we will get married in a church or not" I started, but his stare was intoxicating.

"Church, right?" he leaned even closer.

"Okay" I smiled.

Actually I really hoped he would say that, but I wasn't able to talk anymore. He was still causing my heart to jump loops when he faced me, and that's how I knew he was the one for me. It was hard to understand or explain. We decided that we will call the church in the morning and find out which date was available now and would plan around this. The rest of the evening we spend watching a movie and make out on the couch.

"I feel so seventeen again" I grinned at him and he nodded.

"Me too, I'm just as happy as I was back than" he smirked and I cuddled into his arms.

"Me too" I smirked and noticed his arm on my belly.

"Can you imagine that we will be a family soon?" I asked and he smirked.

"Not yet" he honestly told me and I nodded.

"Me neither, but it sounds nice" I grinned.

"Yes, Mrs. Scott to be" he grinned.

"Brooke Davis Scott" I corrected him and he kissed my cheek.

"How could you not be a Davis anymore" he whispered.

"Exactly" I grinned "Brooke Davis Scott, I kind of like it"

"I love it" he threw his boyish grin at me.

"I love you" I mumbled against his lips.


	47. Chapter 47

_ Sorry it took so long! I had so much stress lately, I hope you'll like the update! and sorry again!_

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„Hey the only open date would be in a week"I told Nathan and he just smirked and kissed me.

"Then we will be married in one week" he smiled against my lips.

"You're such an idiot" I laughed "how will we get this all managed?" I wondered and he only laughed.

"We have some great friends you know, they probably will help us" he added and I smiled.

"True" I grinned and he kissed me again.

"Or are you trying to bail?" he asked and I laughed.

"I suggested Vegas, which would have been much easier" I reminded him. I sat down on the chair near the table and put the phone down. Nathan moved close to me and messaged my back.

"True" he smirked.

"Oh this is awesome" I purred.

"Thought so" his hands wandered up and down my back.

"Stop this" I said as he stopped messaging and started to kiss my neck.

"We have no time for this" I reminded him and he grinned and pinned me into my chair while he leaned against me. Our lips almost touched.

"It's hot how you plan to marry me" he smirked and kissed my neck again instead of my lips.

"Nathan, you are distracting me" I bit my lip and he laughed against my skin, while I tried to get the wedding magazine in my hands.

"Really?" he played innocent. I rolled my eyes as he stopped my hands and put them around my neck.

"Innocence?" I wondered "Not your style Scott" I teased and he leaned towards and touched my lips with his.

"I'm not playing by the rules" I mumbled and tried really hard to resist.

"We have to plan the wedding" I whispered and he kissed me.

"The flowers" I said in a weaker voice and got another kiss.

"The food" I could only whine.

"Sure" he smiled and kissed me with more passion.

"Oh whatever" I grinned "we just get fast food and some flowers from the garden" I saw him grin and kissed this evil grin away.

"See" he smiled and pulled me up "We find a solution"

"Haha" I ironically laughed and he pulled me closer.

"I kind of like watch you plan this wedding" he leaned closer and I smiled.

"Can you believe this is happening?" he wondered while he lifted me up.

I let out a scream and he laughed.

"What are you doing?" I wondered.

"Just practicing for the big day" he teased and I laughed.

"So you have a week?" Rachel asked and I nodded.

Peyton was sitting there with little Sawyer in her arms. The baby could have slept anything through, as I picked up Peyton music was playing loudly in her house and the baby slept. I looked at the fourth chair and was said as I remembered that Haley was on tour right now.

"Okay so did you plan anything at all?" Peyton asked and I felt ashamed.

"Not really" I breathed out and Rachel looked skeptical.

"Nathan was really…" I bit my lip and they both laughed "distracting"

"Okay we have a lot of work to do" Rachel said and Peyton put her baby girl into the trolley and we started to work our way through the magazines.

"You think we can make it in a week?" I wondered and they almost answered in sync.

"If you can keep your pants on" they laughed and I looked offended, but joined them.

"Okay, so what about the dress?" Peyton wondered.

"I thought about making one myself" I said and showed them the designs.

"This?" Rachel asked astonished.

"You don't like?" I wondered but they both shook their heads.

"It's amazing" Rachel breathed out.

"You really can manage this in a week?" Peyton asked astonished.

"That's where I need your help" I whispered, but they were up for the plan.

Nathan and I agreed to have a little wedding, so the sitting arrangements were easy, except the sitting for Nathan's new basketball colleges. We needed to decide on designs for the invitation. I had 3 samples for Nathan to decide on and the same procedure for the food.

Nathan walked inside, after his practice and smirked at me.

"Are you still planning?" he mumbled and I laughed.

"Yes" I nodded "actually now I really got some things planned"

Rachel and Peyton grinned and got up.

"You have some decisions to make" Peyton nodded towards the table.

"Food, flowers, invitations…." The blonde told him and his laugh became a grin.

"And try to keep your hands to yourself" Rachel warned him. Nathan gave me a warning look and I looked away.

"Are you hungry?" I asked while I escaped for the kitchen.

"Brooke" he said in his warning voice.

"I mean if you can keep your pants on, it would be even better" Rachel didn't stop and Nate laughed.

"Goodbye Rach" he said while he opened the door for them.

"Bye" the girls said and walked out.

"Oh Brooke" Nathan sing sang while he walked for the kitchen. I was biting my lip and looking ashamed away as he tried to face me.

"So roses or lilies?" I asked but only a murmur came out.

He walked closer and put each hand on one side of me and leaned closer.

"You told them…" he stopped "what exactly did you tell them?"

"Girls talk" I still tried to escape his question.

"And?" he leaned even closer.

"That you distract me" I whispered and he pulled away.

"So if this wedding doesn't happen it's my fault?" he wondered and I nodded.

"You got it" I smirked.

"Okay than I stay away" he swore and I looked satisfied.

"Thanks" I smirked, but the smirk vanished as he put his shirt off.

"I need to get a bath anyway" he said in a matter of fact voice "you can cook meanwhile" he said and I couldn't stop starring at him.

"What are you going to cook?" he wondered and turned around so I was watching his back.

"Brooke?" he asked and turned back to face me.

I needed to take a breath before I could answer.

"Dunno" I pressed out and he laughed.

"You are still against distraction, right?" he asked and I hesitated.

"I'm hot Brooke, you can't deny it" he raised his eyebrows and grinned.

"You are mean" I reminded him.

It was finally the day before the wedding and I was spending the night at my house while Nathan was forced to sleep at Lucas' place. He couldn't see the wedding dress and I knew I would have to fix it here; hiding it at Rachel's was not the best solution anymore. Somehow we decided to make it into a big slumber party and bachelor red party for me.

Rachel walked in with a big bottle of champagne and Peyton put baby Sawyer in the guest room into the baby bed that Lucas brought over.

"Cold feet?" Lucas asked while he was putting the bed together.

"Are you asking or Nathan?" I wondered and he rolled his eyes.

"Both" he in the end admitted.

"Not really" I calmed him down and gave him a hug.

"Thanks for caring" I smiled and he pulled me close.

"You deserve happiness Brooke Davis" he smirked and I pulled away.

"Thanks" I smiled softly "and now: Don't party to wild, I don't want to marry a wasted Nathan Scott" I grinned and Lucas laughed.

"Totally noted" he grinned. He kissed Peyton goodbye and left.

Rachel was sitting on the couch and ordering some food.

"So we have movies" she showed me and then grinned "but firstly: I want to see the dress"

I walked upstairs and put it on. I felt like a princess and I couldn't believe that I soon would walk down the aisle with this one. I looked into the mirror once again before I left for the living room. Lucas was already gone and Peyton and Rachel were screaming upstairs to me. I slowly walked down and saw their astonished faces. They focused on every detail and were speechless for a while.

"God Brooke, you look like a princess" Peyton whispered, like she was afraid to talk loudly.

"It looks better on you than the doll you were sewing it on" Rachel mumbled and I laughed.

"Thanks, let's hope Nathan's face will be just a bit like yours" I grinned and Rachel smirked.

"I hope he won't be speechless" she grinned "or you guys will have problems with the vows.

"Oh yeah, maybe we see Nathan stutter" Peyton grinned.

"Not that funny for me though" I laughed.

Suddenly the door bell rang.

"Are you waiting for someone?" Peyton wondered and I shook my head. I walked to the door.

"Who is there?" I asked, because I was afraid that Nathan could have forgotten something.

"Tutor girl" Haley's voice came from outside.

"Oh" I let out and opened the door. Haley hugged me and grinned.

"Did you really think that I would miss this?" she asked and I shook my head.

"I hoped not" I laughed.

"How was the tour?" Peyton wondered and Haley looked a bit worried as she stepped inside.

"Well" she said and looked down my dress.

"Brooke" she smiled "you look beautiful"

"Thanks" I grinned. I started to have butterflies in my stomach and I couldn't wait for tomorrow.

"So how was the tour?" Rachel wondered and Haley's face was tense again.

"I have to explain you something" she muttered worried and I looked up at her.

"I've met someone familiar and we spend some time together" she smiled at me as if she wanted to apologize for it.

"You saw someone familiar and you hooked up?" Rachel assumed, but Haley shook her head.

"No, we just went out, like friends and he is here now" she said ashamed and Peyton gave me a look. Of course, Haley must have run into Chris while she was touring. He was trying to reach her every now and then, he even called us to find out where she was and if we thought she would give him a chance again. Mostly he was trying to get to her through me, Peyton and Nathan. We stayed hard though and never gave him any information. That was probably the reason that Haley was ashamed that she brought him here. I guess she thought that we didn't like him anymore or that she would ruin my wedding with this.

"So you brought a date to the wedding" I smirked "it's okay you know?!"

"But Brooke…" she started.

"You don't have to explain anything…" I told her and put my hand on her arm.

"But I think I should" she interrupted me.

"Rachel planned for this" I laughed and looked at the proud redhead. She was a really great maid of honor. I decided to have Peyton and Rachel as my maids of honor, though it was a small wedding. Nathan couldn't decide between Lucas and Owen either, so we just decided not to decide.

The door bell rang again.

"Brooke, can I tell you everything before you open that door?" Haley asked in desperation.

"Oh Hale, would you stop worry about it now?" I asked and opened the door.

But the person I faced was more familiar than Chris. I was looking into warm brown eyes that were focused on my wedding dress and became cold. I couldn't move aside and let him in. Our gaze was frozen on each other and I felt my stomach tighten and my throat was dry. I didn't see the others anymore. I even forgot that they were here. I knew that I had to say something soon, but I just couldn't come up with words.

"Hey" Julian said and I bit my lip.

"Hey" I whispered.


	48. Chapter 48

I panicked and closed the door in front of his face and turned around to see Haley.

"Anything you want to tell me, like, you brought my ex?" I asked and I felt like I was getting no air. My lungs pumped desperately, but couldn't get any air into them.

"Brooke I wanted to tell you, but you wouldn't let me" Haley tried to excuse herself, but I was hyperventilating. She was looking worried and guilty at the same time and I felt sorry for her, because I was just mad and I couldn't stop it.

"Why? Why would you bring Julian here?" I asked and Rachel and Peyton turned around and also faced her. Haley was now on trial and I was in need of oxygen.

"He came to one show and we ended in a bar talking and having some drinks" Haley started to explain "and as my show was in L.A for a week he suggested to hang out together" she whispered. Peyton looked shocked at her and Rachel was worried about me, so she led me to the couch and helped me sit down.

"And?" Rachel's voice was innerved and Haley felt terrible for what she did.

"I don't know, he was nice and I wasn't sure if Brooke would mind if we hung out" Haley said.

"I don't mind you hang out with anyone, but bringing him here now" I just breathed out.

"I know, it just happened, I told him I was coming here and he wanted to come with me" Haley whispered and looked at the floor "now that this happened I can see how stupid it was to let him come with me"

"Think next time before you do something like that" Rachel hissed and Haley looked worried.

"I didn't mean any harm" she whispered.

"Nathan" I mumbled. Rachel, Peyton and Haley froze where they were. They already knew what I was hitting at. Nathan would freak if he found out that my ex-boyfriend was in town during our wedding. I couldn't stop myself from seeing his worried face and his cold and emotionless eyes, when he would find out. The jealousy that he felt would probably be seen in his posture.

"Maybe he is over it?" Peyton suggested and I buried my head in my hands. We were so good together lately, the drama about the baby was gone, but now with Julian back and me still pregnant, maybe he would start to doubt me again.

"I'm so sorry Brooke" Haley mumbled.

In this moment I remembered that I closed the door in front of Julian's face and that he probably was still standing there outside my house.

"I need to change" I whispered as I looked down at my wedding dress.

"I deal with him" Rachel assured me as I walked upstairs I heard her complain to Haley about this whole situation.

"How could you tell him she would get married this weekend?" the redhead said and Haley signed in desperation.

"It seemed less a problem at the moment" she explained and Rachel opened the door and faced Julian.

"Hey" she said in her unfriendly manners. Though Julian never did anything wrong, he was the bad guy in this. Rachel have seen how easily Nathan and I could break apart and she made it her priority to keep all the danger away from us. She wanted this to work out. Owen and she often told me that they thought Nathan and I are meant to be.

"You are like soul mates" Owen said and I laughed.

"Do you believe in stuff like that?" I wondered and he leaned against the bench that we were sitting on and sighed.

"Not until I saw you two together. It's just like you complete him and he does the same with you" Owen said while watching the sky. The sound of a basketball hitting the ground interrupted the silence every now and then. We watched Nate work out, because Owen had broken his arm. He faced me again.

"You both complete each other, and I think this is what all people search in the end, when they talk about true love" Owen whispered.

"You're such a softy" I laughed and we changed the subject.

"I didn't mean to interrupt like that" Julian said and Haley was silent. The girls didn't talk and I wasn't sure whether I should have come downstairs or if I needed to stay where I was.

"Okay so here is the dial" Rachel's voice rang in my ears "She dumped you and I am sorry"

What? She was sorry I dumped Julian for Nathan? I was confused so I stepped out and sat down on the stairs. This way I could listen to them talk, but not been seen.

"I liked you" Rachel added.

"Thank you" Julian said a bit confused, but neither Haley nor Peyton came to his rescue.

"But if you butt in into this wedding, I swear I kick your ass" she said and I could sense her staring him down.

"Thanks for the warning" he told her in an unusual voice "were you telling him the same as he sneaked around with her behind my back?" he asked and I remembered how things ended between me and Julian. I had a bad feeling in my stomach.

"I hoped he would stay away from her" she mumbled.

"Great" Julian said sarcastic.

"We should probably go now" Haley suggested and I could tell everyone agreed.

I walked down in my jeans and a top and was standing in the stairway.

"Can we talk?" I asked and faced Julian.

Everyone froze again and I felt like I said something wrong. Everyone's eyes were running from me to Julian and back.

"Sure" he whispered and I walked towards the door. Since Rachel opened the door for him, he hasn't managed to get inside. I walked past him and closed the door behind us. I was shaking slightly, that's how nervous I was.

"What are you doing here?" I asked him and he just sat down on the stairs.

"I wanted to visit Tree Hill" he whispered and I walked down the stairs so I could face him again.

"I wanted to tell you how sorry I was or to explain it" I stuttered. I really planned to do so, but it never made sense.

"You didn't" he just stated and I felt guilty.

"I was scared and the more I waited the scarier it got" I tried to make him understand and he looked up at me for the first time.

"I'm not here to ruin your wedding Brooke" he mumbled. I was looking into his eyes and searched for any emotion, but I couldn't see any change.

Julian got up and walked past me.

"Can you tell Haley thanks for inviting me to stay over, but I will be at the hotel" Julian whispered and I sighed.

"Alright" I whispered and turned away.

"You are one beautiful bride" he whispered, but didn't turn back to me. I just watched him leave and considered whether I should get back inside and let Haley explain everything, or if I should go to Nathan and talk to him first.

I was standing in front of his door and thought about different ways to tell him that Julian was in town. I could have been honest and serious, or sad and hurt or just making a joke out of it. No matter how I would tell him, I needed to ring the bell first. I walked closer to the door and knocked. Somehow I felt better this way. Owen was the one who opened.

"Oh Royal Scott, your honey bunny wants to see you" he said in a singing voice and I tried to smile, but he noticed that something was wrong and stopped.

"Hey" Nathan whispered as he finally managed to get out of the house and closed the door behind us.

"What's going on?" he asked first before he saw my worried face.

"Brooke?" he looked at me now suspicious.

"I need to talk to you" I whispered and he looked down at me.

"No, not again" he mumbled and I was confused.

"Again? What?" I wondered and he sat down on the bench.

"You are getting cold feet" he whispered and I shook my head. I took his hand in mine and stroked it.

"I'm sure about this, how often do I have to tell you this?" I asked and he looked up at me.

"I know, but I'm worried" he mumbled and I sat down in his lap and kissed his forehead.

"I'm not going anywhere" I told him and he smiled.

"It's just, I can't believe this is happening so I wait for a disaster to happen" he explained and this was exactly what I would bring. The disaster he was waiting for.

"I need to tell you something" I mumbled and he again looked directly into my eyes.

I was trying to breathe as we heard steps and Nathan turned away from me to look at the street where he noticed Julian. He froze and I felt his hands tighten around me.

"That's what I wanted to tell you" I told him and he looked back at me. His eyes were confused as if he was searching for an explanation.

I took a deep breath as I saw Julian pause on the street as his eyes caught ours.

"He is here for Haley, or with Haley" I mumbled but for Nathan this didn't make any sense.

I told him all I knew as Julian walked away and he pulled me into a hug.

"I'm the one you saying yes to tomorrow, so I'm not worried, if you tell me I don't have to be" Nathan whispered and I rested my head on his shoulder.

"You don't have to" I told him and he smiled.

"I love you Brooke Penelope Davis" he whispered.

"I love you too, Nathan Royal Scott" I grinned as I saw Owen spying on us behind the window.

"He takes his job very seriously" I pointed out and Nathan laughed.

"Yeah, he says it needs a lot of people to shield us from all these catastrophes" Nathan laughed.

"Sometimes I get the feeling that they cause all this problems" I smirked and looked in his blue eyes again. I placed my hand on his cheek and smiled.

"Tomorrow" I whispered.

"Yes tomorrow" he repeated after me.

"And you aren't mad?" I wondered and he placed a kiss on my nose.

"Not if you say yes tomorrow" he smiled and I nodded.

"I planned it this way" I grinned.

I was walking back home after Owen told me over and over again, that the couple should sleep in different houses. He took his job as best man very serious. I opened the door and found the girls have a discussion.

"It's okay" I mumbled and they all looked shocked to find me back in the house.

"Brooke, I didn't mean to" Haley said again.

"I know" I smiled at her and sat down between her and Rachel "I just want to spend a cool night with my friends before I will be married, okay?" I asked them and they all laughed.

"Sure thing" Rachel said and I put my head on her shoulder.

"Thanks" I smirked.


	49. Chapter 49

**_Hey guys, thanks for reading my story and I felt like it had to end soon, so this is my last chapter. There is another Brathan/Brucas story wandering in my head and I guess I need to start and write it down before I go nuts. So hope you check out my stuff! =)_**

* * *

I was really nervous as I woke up. The butterflies in my stomach were killing me so much that I even forgave Haley with Julian. I was sensing that this was more than friendship and I wanted her to be happy. Even if I had a really bad dream during the last night before I would be married to the best man in the world.

_I had a bad dream in the night, where I was walking down the aisle, while music played and the priest asked "Does anyone know a reason that this couple shouldn't be married?" and Julian stood up. He looked seriously at me and Nathan and started to talk._

"_She is a backstabbing bitch and he is a jerk" Julian looked at me and his look almost killed me._

"_They shouldn't be married" he continued "she broke my heart and he was the reason for this"._

"_She was sneaking around with him behind my back" Julian said and all the guests looked shocked at me. At this moment Carrie walked into the church._

"_He broke my heart and he will break yours" she said and I looked shocked around. All I could see was Nathan's calm face and his hand reaching out for me._

_The priest walked away. The guests left. No one was there except for me and Nathan. And no matter how disturbing this dream was it just showed me that I was doing the right thing. Marring Nathan was what I was meant to do. Maybe already should have done in Vegas. I took his hand and smiled at him._

"_I will never hurt you"_

"Is Julian coming with you today?" I wondered while she made my hair.

"No" she said and looked down sadly.

"He can, you know" I stopped for a second "but you have to ask Nathan though" I laughed and she put her head on my shoulder and I looked at her through the mirror.

"Thanks" she whispered and I grinned.

"No problem" I breathed out "I hope you'll find someone who makes you feel like I do today" I smiled softly.

"I'm going to be married to my soul mate and that is the only thing that counts today" I added and she smirked at me.

"No running away" she whispered.

"No running away" I grinned.

This was the moment. Rachel and Peyton were already staying at the isle and Owen was holding my hand in his.

"It's an honor to walk you down the aisle" he smiled at me and I grinned.

"Thanks for doing this" I said and we both heard the familiar melody.

"Don't let me fall down" I whispered.

"Right back at you" Owen smiled and we walked towards Nathan. I forgot about the people around us and I couldn't even see the crowd, I just saw him. Nathan was standing there in his perfect tux, his dark blue shinny eyes on me only. It seemed like the time had stopped and we were doing all this in slow motion. As I stopped in front of him he smiled softly at me and took my hand.

We repeated our vows and kissed.

I hoped this kiss would have last forever, and to be honest it almost did.

"I will never hurt you and I will never let you down" I looked at him and Nathan smiled.

"I never thought you would" he whispered.

"I know, but I wanted you to know" I just blushed slightly.

"I will be there for you, forever and for always" he smiled "and I will protect our marriage with my life" he added I took his hand in mine as we walked past our guests: his basketball colleagues and my co workers, our friends, along with Haley in Julian's arm.

We were sitting at our reception and I was in his arm, while he ran his fingers through mine.

"So how are you doing Brooke Davis Scott?" Nathan asked and I almost melted away.

"Say it again" I pleaded and he smirked.

"Brooke Davis Scott?" he asked and I softly kissed his lips.

"Exactly" I mumbled "I like how it sounds"

"Me too" he grinned "Brooke Davis Scott"

"And to hear that from my husband" I smiled and he put his head closer to me.

"This sounds great too" he mumbled and I placed a kiss on his lips.

"I know"

People were congratulating us.

First his basketball team, which basically promised me to take a look on him, while he was away from me and of course told him how much of an idiot he was leaving me behind.

Rachel and Owen were so glad that we finally made our way and got married. I swear I saw a tear in Rachel's eyes, but she denies it. Lucas and Peyton were really sweet and Peyton was hugging me tightly telling me how happy she was for me. Lucas was really proud of his younger brother and you could really see them being happy for us. Haley and Julian were next. Haley was openhearted and really sweet telling me how wonderful I looked and being glad that she could sing during the ceremony. Julian was a bit colder towards Nathan, but it still worked out.

"Congratulation" he smiled and shook Nathan's hand.

"Thank you" my husband, and yes I would call him this now, said.

It was a really great party and I enjoyed myself so much. Everyone was eating and toasting to us, but we just were preoccupied looking at each other's eyes and enjoy the moment.

"I love you, Brooke Davis Scott" Nathan smirked as we slowly danced together.

"I love you too, husband" I grinned and put my head on his shoulder.

"Who would have guessed we end up here?" he smirked.

"I know you were such a jerk in high school" I reminded him.

"And you were really friendly" he teased and I looked him deep in his eyes.

"You were the best thing that happened to me when Peyton broke up with me, you gave me hope and a reason to enjoy life again, and now you are my life" Nathan mumbled and I smiled.

"We had our ups and our downs, but my heart was always somehow preoccupied with you" I smirked and he stroked my back.

"And now we managed to get here" Nathan smirked back at me.

"I'm sorry I went away in Vegas, we could have had this earlier" I muttered and he pulled my face up and smiled.

"We can have it now" he smiled and looked at my stomach.

"And it can have it all with us" he reminded me.

"It's a he" I whispered and Nathan looked surprised.

"It's a boy?" he wanted to make sure.

"It's our boy" I told him and he squeezed me closer.

"Today is the best day of my life" he whispered and I looked at his honest face and his beautiful smile and couldn't argue with him.

"Yes the best day of my life" I nodded and he listened to the song end.

We left the dance floor and he placed soft kisses on my nose and my cheeks.

I was in love, more in love that I could ever wish for.

Now 5 years later it still feels like we just got married, except for our little knucklehead of a son.

"James Lucas Scott, if you don't come back right now" I screamed as I saw mud on the front door.

"Mummy, daddy and I made mud" my little boy told me proud and showed me his hands.

"Nathan" I just whispered until he came out and hid his hands.

"Oh that's great" I looked at him and walked over to place a small kiss on his lips.

"You clean up this mess" I told him between small kisses.

"Whatever you say" he smiled and little Sawyer came running after Jamie.

"You destroyed the Cindy's dress" she complained.

"You were babysitting?" I wondered and he nodded.

"Well you are all business and I have a time out at NBA, so why not" he joked around and wanted to put his hands around me.

"Don't you dare" I warned him, but he just chuckled.

"Nathan Royal Scott" I repeated but he just put his hands around my body and pulled me closer.

"I missed you" he said and I couldn't be angry anymore.

He kissed my collarbone and I let my sketches fall down to the floor.

"The others want to come for dinner today, you know?" Nathan whispered against my skin and I couldn't breathe anymore.

"The kids" I reminded him.

"Outside" he smirked and placed kisses down my neck.

"I missed you" I smiled and he pulled me in a hug.

"Oh I missed you too" he added and we stopped as laughter was heard.

"And I thought we would have dinner not watch porn" Lucas smirked and I laughed.

"Whatever" I just said and hugged my friends tightly.

My son was named after Lucas and Haley, because they were the ones who helped me get through with the pregnancy and Rachel and Owen were his godparents.

"You look bitchen" Rachel smirked and pulled me in a hug. She was pregnant with twins and already hated Owen for that.

"You are getting bigger and bigger" I teased her and she just punched my arm softly.

"Don't you dare" she warned me while the guys laughed.

Peyton was a happy mum, but refused to have any more children.

Julian was holding Haley in his arm and smiled at Nathan. Who would have guessed the two of them could become friends after all that was between them. Haley was happy again and after Chris tried to get her back over and over again, he gave up. Now she was engaged with Julian and I thought she deserved this.

"Well, sorry about the mess, but as you know I married a kiddo" I smirked and Nathan just put his hands around me from behind and mud was on my dress now.

"I really make you pay for this" I flinched through my teeth and he laughed.

"What about ordering some pizza?" he asked and I nodded.

WE sat there after the kids went to bed and talked about the past and about our future. I was lying in Nathan's arms and knew that nothing could tear us apart. We were doing great and it was all worth the journey that we had. My friends were happy as well and somewhere along the way we all got our own happy ending.


End file.
